TransWhatevers of AVEN

[P is for...]

obligatory happy post intermission:

mmm, buttery crumpets.

back to your regularly-scheduled angsting.

[Brackets]

Okay, okay, okay. Small amount of angsting because I have to go buy textbooks and get my student loan money.

1) I have never fit in anywhere due to my extreme eccentricity.

2) I have recently realized that I am a transyada (though it should have been much sooner; it's pretty obvious) and don't know how to tell everyone that I have an uncontrollable need to dress like a very classy man all the time after dressing like a very sloppy girl for much of my life.

3) ...I have to go spend hundreds of dollars on textbooks that I will not use very much.

That was my contribution to AngstFest September 15th. Now to go make money and waste it on books.

[anamia]

Oh Gods. I absolutely adore Everybody's fool. That one and 'Hello' contain the two lines that can probably define me best out of anything.

Can't remember if I've posted this before or not. Oh well. I'm doing it again.

[Sir Oliver]

Nostalgia for everyone!

Under the summer rain ...

And just because I really love it.

[anamia]

I have the prelude on my music playing device, for all that the opening hurts my ears. I absolutely adore that song. Also, more men should walk around wearing blue eyeshadow and eyeliner.

This thread really is making me nostalgic. Emo music of the mid 2000s. I like it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yve9-bczQz4&feature=related

[Sir Oliver]

I have the prelude on my music playing device, for all that the opening hurts my ears. I absolutely adore that song. Also, more men should walk around wearing blue eyeshadow and eyeliner.

This thread really is making me nostalgic. Emo music of the mid 2000s. I like it.

I heartily agree.

I know. Nostalgia/Angst Wednesday. I kind of miss when I listened to emo music nonstop.

One of my bestfriends is in love with Jared Leto 30 Seconds to Mars.

[Sir Oliver]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScUIo_VaimI

I remember we started singing this in class. It was an actual group thing. I think it was at the end of Math and one boy (a popular one. Hm...) started singing it and a few people, including me, joined in. Actually, that happened multiple times with this song. That's probably the only thing I miss about school. Random emo sing-alongs.

(Sadly, I wasn't able to find the video uncensored.)

[Herr Joseph von Löthing]

Emo time!

If I was a romantic guy I'd totally have a man crush on Adam Lazzara.

[P is for...]

how did this suddenly turn in EMO DAY?!

no, no, no, people. i said it was all right to post angsty music, but you're abusing the privilege. two or three songs a page, fine; but this is getting ridiculous. especially for those of us who don't really care for that crap sort of thing.

[anamia]

I have the prelude on my music playing device, for all that the opening hurts my ears. I absolutely adore that song. Also, more men should walk around wearing blue eyeshadow and eyeliner.

This thread really is making me nostalgic. Emo music of the mid 2000s. I like it.

I heartily agree.

I know. Nostalgia/Angst Wednesday. I kind of miss when I listened to emo music nonstop.

One of my bestfriends is in love with Jared Leto 30 Seconds to Mars.

One of mine too. (Actually she's a former best friend, but oh well.) Personally, I think he's overrated.

I still listen to emo music. My tastes have just expanded somewhat. Also, I've never been good with genres, so I wasn't sure what emo music was even when I was listening to it...

[Sir Oliver]

how did this suddenly turn in EMO DAY?!

no, no, no, people. i said it was all right to post angsty music, but you're abusing the privilege. two or three songs a page, fine; but this is getting ridiculous. especially for those of us who don't really care for that crap sort of thing.

You should have been specific then.

More emo music!

[Adriatic]

And now I have to go out to the post office and send a birthday present to the young child of someone I've talked about too much today already. (I don't mind doing it or feel obliged to do it; quite the opposite; I think every child ought to have one inexplicable family friend who sends them non-gender-specific and non-cartoon-character presents, and I'm honoured if that person can be me. But it still makes just a little bit of me want to ram my fist into the wall.)

What did you get them? I'm just curious.

I got a ton of makeup for Christmas once. I was like, "What the fuck?"

In a couple of years it'll be Playmobil and Lego, but this time it was a board book of Mog the Forgetful Cat.

Oh, and make-up: during those few years where it felt like my mum was despairing of what to do with me, I used to find it in my Christmas stocking. No, just no.

This thread really is making me nostalgic. Emo music of the mid 2000s. I like it.

Emo music of the mid 2000s? That's new from where I'm standing. Mid 90s dance and indie is nostalgic.

[anamia]

And now I have to go out to the post office and send a birthday present to the young child of someone I've talked about too much today already. (I don't mind doing it or feel obliged to do it; quite the opposite; I think every child ought to have one inexplicable family friend who sends them non-gender-specific and non-cartoon-character presents, and I'm honoured if that person can be me. But it still makes just a little bit of me want to ram my fist into the wall.)

What did you get them? I'm just curious.

I got a ton of makeup for Christmas once. I was like, "What the fuck?"

In a couple of years it'll be Playmobil and Lego, but this time it was a board book of Mog the Forgetful Cat.

Oh, and make-up: during those few years where it felt like my mum was despairing of what to do with me, I used to find it in my Christmas stocking. No, just no.

This thread really is making me nostalgic. Emo music of the mid 2000s. I like it.

Emo music of the mid 2000s? That's new from where I'm standing. Mid 90s dance and indie is nostalgic.

See, in the mid-190s I was listening to the Spice Girls and wondering what the fuss was about the Backstreet Boys and NSynch (Or however you spell it). I like to think I've moved on. (Though I do still enjoy the Spice Girls.)

Ironically, I'm the opposite. I'd love makeup in my stocking, but no. I have to acquire purchase my own. -sigh- The world is not a fair place...

Playmobile is awesome. I miss it.

[P is for...]

Emo music of the mid 2000s? That's new from where I'm standing. Mid 90s dance and indie is nostalgic.

thank you, Adriatic. you know what makes me nostalgic? beck's Odelay.

hee. good times.

(see how annoying it is, kids?...)

[Sir Oliver]

There's a band I'm trying to remember that I used to like... Well, like, three songs but anyways...

(Oh gods. I'm looking through my first YouTube and I have tons of Lady Sovereign favourited and shit. Judging you, younger me, JUDGING YOU.)

[anamia]

You know P, I like expanding my horizons...

Just for that, you get more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0846F0sEwg&feature=related

(No, I don't know what's up with the monkeys. FoB is weird.)

[Professor Godric]

I had a friend who would do that to me. It'd be "Nami, what's wrong?" (Only, you know, she didn't call me Nami...) "You look sad! Are you mad at me?" -sigh- And I never was mad at her before she asked, but her asking pissed me off. I don't feel the need to smile and laugh all the time and I don't see why my facial expressions should be anyone's business but my own. Of course, it's not like I answer the question, "How are you doing today?" with anything other than "fine," anyway, so I suppose people have no way of knowing how I feel. Then again, I like it that way. I have an extremely rocky relationship with my emotions, and I'd really rather not acknowledge them. Which is probably why I react so badly to people asking me if I'm all right. Even if I'm not, I certainly don't want anyone else to know, and I'd rather ignore that fact myself. -sigh-

oh my lord.

the last actual job i had, i worked on a team with about 8 women. no males. (well--heh--there was me, but i was stealth at the time.) it drove me up a tree--not because they were female, but because every blessed one of them was the type of female who does that sort of thing. (and before i get accused of chauvinism here, let me just say that i know there are guys who do that too; but in a professional setting, it's statistically extremely unlikely that you're going to get a team of 8 of them.) they would all tippy-toe around each other, and be so careful of each other's feelings, and it was actually policy--policy--on the team that if you were in a bad mood, you had to tell everyone that it wasn't their fault.

dear God. how i ever lasted nearly four years in that place i will never know.

Indeed. That sounds terrible. My family is occasionally the same way. Every once in a while, I get very melancholy, and I will go for days without talking to people, doing much, or anything. I am also very grumpy sometimes. Whenever I am grumpy, my parents try to "cheer me up" or ask me why. Much of the time, I have no specific reason. I just am. I usually ask, rather testily, "I'm allowed to be grumpy, aren't I? I don't think I should need to explain myself." Then they say, in all seriousness, "You have no right to be in a bad mood. Everything is going perfectly for you. Stop this nonsense now."

Now, I know that I should put on a happy face in cases like that, but I'm not very good at faking my emotions. Even if my face is completely neutral, it's asymmetrical in such a way that I always look sarcastic, which I generally am, but not conducive to fake happiness. One thing that I absolutely cannot do is appear bubbly. The best I can do is a somewhat sinister cheerfulness.

[Sir Oliver]

Not what I was looking for:

sdlkklsaklfgkldlg I love Envy on the Coast so friggin' much.

[anamia]

I had a friend who would do that to me. It'd be "Nami, what's wrong?" (Only, you know, she didn't call me Nami...) "You look sad! Are you mad at me?" -sigh- And I never was mad at her before she asked, but her asking pissed me off. I don't feel the need to smile and laugh all the time and I don't see why my facial expressions should be anyone's business but my own. Of course, it's not like I answer the question, "How are you doing today?" with anything other than "fine," anyway, so I suppose people have no way of knowing how I feel. Then again, I like it that way. I have an extremely rocky relationship with my emotions, and I'd really rather not acknowledge them. Which is probably why I react so badly to people asking me if I'm all right. Even if I'm not, I certainly don't want anyone else to know, and I'd rather ignore that fact myself. -sigh-

oh my lord.

the last actual job i had, i worked on a team with about 8 women. no males. (well--heh--there was me, but i was stealth at the time.) it drove me up a tree--not because they were female, but because every blessed one of them was the type of female who does that sort of thing. (and before i get accused of chauvinism here, let me just say that i know there are guys who do that too; but in a professional setting, it's statistically extremely unlikely that you're going to get a team of 8 of them.) they would all tippy-toe around each other, and be so careful of each other's feelings, and it was actually policy--policy--on the team that if you were in a bad mood, you had to tell everyone that it wasn't their fault.

dear God. how i ever lasted nearly four years in that place i will never know.

Indeed. That sounds terrible. My family is occasionally the same way. Every once in a while, I get very melancholy, and I will go for days without talking to people, doing much, or anything. I am also very grumpy sometimes. Whenever I am grumpy, my parents try to "cheer me up" or ask me why. Much of the time, I have no specific reason. I just am. I usually ask, rather testily, "I'm allowed to be grumpy, aren't I? I don't think I should need to explain myself." Then they say, in all seriousness, "You have no right to be in a bad mood. Everything is going perfectly for you. Stop this nonsense now."

Now, I know that I should put on a happy face in cases like that, but I'm not very good at faking my emotions. Even if my face is completely neutral, it's asymmetrical in such a way that I always look sarcastic, which I generally am, but not conducive to fake happiness. One thing that I absolutely cannot do is appear bubbly. The best I can do is a somewhat sinister cheerfulness.

... That's a completely ridiculous thing to say. Of course you have the right to be in a bad mood. They might prefer that you not let them know (which I don't really get either) but everyone has the right to their own emotions and moods. And fake cheerfulness is overrated. I've always found 'smile until you feel happy inside' to be fairly poor advice. It doesn't work, often makes me feel worse, and what if I don't want to be happy inside? I think our society needs to learn that there's nothing wrong with being in a bad mood.

And I momentarily interrupt the emo music fest to bring you the following:

There should be more a cappella metal groups in the world.

[P is for...]

Now, I know that I should put on a happy face in cases like that, but I'm not very good at faking my emotions. Even if my face is completely neutral, it's asymmetrical in such a way that I always look sarcastic, which I generally am, but not conducive to fake happiness. One thing that I absolutely cannot do is appear bubbly. The best I can do is a somewhat sinister cheerfulness.

thanks for restoring us to our proper state of angstiness, Godric.

you know, i think part of my problem is that i do have times when i'm quite happy, and i'm a delight to be around then. (no, really. it's true.) and so some people who've known me have wanted me to be like that all the time, and they got annoyed when i wasn't, and tried to make me be. i ask you, how much success do you think anyone has ever had in getting P to do something P doesn't want to do? zip. zero. nada. that's how much. and yet they kept trying. what a nightmare, for everyone involved. if they'd just let me sulk and get it out of my system, i wouldn't have had to dig in my heels and become a lugubrious bastard all those years.

You know P, I like expanding my horizons...

i'm sure you do, anamia. but you're diminishing mine. that's the difference.

and Ollz--do i have to get the stick out? cease and desist.

[C M]

how did this suddenly turn in EMO DAY?!

no, no, no, people. i said it was all right to post angsty music, but you're abusing the privilege. two or three songs a page, fine; but this is getting ridiculous. especially for those of us who don't really care for that crap sort of thing.

Thank you god, for saying what i was thinking.

[Starborn]

Right now it feels like if I where to start moan about my life I would never stop, so I'll just give you my most pressing issues right now:

My dog is sick and I got corn stuck in my braces.

My life is so interesting!

[Sir Oliver]

Wait. I just remembered this band. FINALLY!

I love this song. I love this song. I love this song.

[Adriatic]

So out of all the things we've ever discussed on the most sprawling thread of sprawling threads, the one that could do most to remind us of our differences if not shortly followed by some symbolic reaffirmation of communitas is emo music?

[P is for...]

[miscellaneous emo-related nonsense]

Ollz?

do you know what a caning is?

would you like to find out?

that was your last emo post.

KNOCK IT OFF.

mutterdamnedself-indulgentteenagerswhiningabouttheirnon-existantproblemswaituntiltheygrowupandfindoutwhatrealproblemsaremutter...

[/irritated and/or irritating old person rant]

[Herr Joseph von Löthing]

Oliver, emo music in moderation. Moderation.

[Adriatic]

But where does emo music score compared to coffee?

[P is for...]

So out of all the things we've ever discussed on the most sprawling thread of sprawling threads, the one that could do most to remind us of our differences if not shortly followed by some symbolic reaffirmation of communitas is emo music?

evidently so, Adriatic. and what would that symbolic reaffirmation be?

well. i've already posted it once today. someone else can take a turn.

[anamia]

So out of all the things we've ever discussed on the most sprawling thread of sprawling threads, the one that could do most to remind us of our differences if not shortly followed by some symbolic reaffirmation of communitas is emo music?

You know, I'm not really surprised. It has a way of getting people up in arms.

I need a cup of tea. Anyone care to join me?

EDIT: And, for the non tea drinkers, I'll provide coffee as well. If you don't like either, you can bring your own drink.

[Sir Oliver]

Oliver, emo music in moderation. Moderation.

What is this "moderation" you speak of?