TransWhatevers of AVEN

[Brackets]

Did you manage to cook your hand too? Because I just burnt myself and it hurts like bloody hell.

[P is for...]

i think Heka may have meant it's been awfully quiet here this evening...

[Brackets]

Maybe everyone's finally started doing their homework instead of hanging around here.

[mort paradis]

Did you manage to cook your hand too? Because I just burnt myself and it hurts like bloody hell.

ouch! *offers some antiseptic*

I may be emotional burned, but I'll be fine. :) Shifting through some memories on top of being kinda roller coaster-y lately. I've been trying to be more social irl (go social anxiety! ), but while actually talking to people has been okay social skill wise (I didn't learn much of those when I was younger) I keep starting to feel depressed when I'm around them. I think it may be because I still feel like an outcast.

[mort paradis]

Maybe everyone's finally started doing their homework instead of hanging around here.

They should be more like me then, I already finished my homework for the day. -_-

[anamia]

I'm in the process of trying to decide whether to drop from fatigue now or hold out a bit longer. Why must it only be Tuesday? -sigh-

Brackets, ouch! I hope your hand gets better quickly.

Heka, I know the feeling. Good for you that you're trying, though. You're braver than I am...

[KieranTheWerewolf42]

Maybe everyone's finally started doing their homework instead of hanging around here.

They should be more like me then, I already finished my homework for the day. -_-

I believe that one of the inherent qualities in a yada is being a procrastinator.

[Brackets]

Did you manage to cook your hand too? Because I just burnt myself and it hurts like bloody hell.

ouch! *offers some antiseptic*

Thanks.

I may be emotional burned, but I'll be fine. :) Shifting through some memories on top of being kinda roller coaster-y lately. I've been trying to be more social irl (go social anxiety! ), but while actually talking to people has been okay social skill wise (I didn't learn much of those when I was younger) I keep starting to feel depressed when I'm around them. I think it may be because I still feel like an outcast.

I know the feeling. I never quite feel like I'm in the right place in actual life.

[Sir Oliver]

Yeah. Why has it been quiet lately? I have nothing to do all day now.

I'm considering posting in that thread. I am a yada.

[mort paradis]

Maybe everyone's finally started doing their homework instead of hanging around here.

They should be more like me then, I already finished my homework for the day. -_-

I believe that one of the inherent qualities in a yada is being a procrastinator.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I am a horrible procrastinator. For instance, this morning I woke up at 7am to write a 1 page paper that was due at 8am (which I completed by 8:30am).

[anamia]

Maybe everyone's finally started doing their homework instead of hanging around here.

They should be more like me then, I already finished my homework for the day. -_-

I believe that one of the inherent qualities in a yada is being a procrastinator.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I am a horrible procrastinator. For instance, this morning I woke up at 7am to write a 1 page paper that was due at 8am (which I completed by 8:30am).

It gets really fun when you procrastinate by doing other homework. I did math homework before studying this morning, and I used "studying" as an excuse not to look at my over-commented essay draft of doom. My goal is to wade through said essay draft of doom sometime before Sunday night. It's due Monday morning...

[mort paradis]

Maybe everyone's finally started doing their homework instead of hanging around here.

They should be more like me then, I already finished my homework for the day. -_-

I believe that one of the inherent qualities in a yada is being a procrastinator.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I am a horrible procrastinator. For instance, this morning I woke up at 7am to write a 1 page paper that was due at 8am (which I completed by 8:30am).

It gets really fun when you procrastinate by doing other homework. I did math homework before studying this morning, and I used "studying" as an excuse not to look at my over-commented essay draft of doom. My goal is to wade through said essay draft of doom sometime before Sunday night. It's due Monday morning...

Ah yes, I do that many times. :lol:

[Rivan Vox]

I love you because every morning i get to lay my head on your shoulder, put my hand on your thigh, kiss you on the neck.. and know that we're just friends

I've never enjoyed any of that before

I pity your boyfriends!

They have your body

but I have your heart!

or maybe I just have your trust and your smile

[Sir Oliver]

I posted my story... Rofl.

[anamia]

At least you're in the proper demographic. I posted mine too, even though I'm nowhere close to what he/she/etc wants. -grins- Like I said in my post, I mostly just like to see myself type.

Valentine, that's so pretty! You have a really nice way with words. And is it just me, or do I detect a slightly melancholy tone at the end?

[Professor T. Pollution]

Guys. GUYS. I only just noticed today — I now have an adam's apple. This is exciting, at least to me. I've always liked adam's apples...

Also, Valentine writes pretty things, although I'm not really equipped to feel the things they describe.

[anamia]

Guys. GUYS. I only just noticed today — I now have an adam's apple. This is exciting, at least to me. I've always liked adam's apples...

Also, Valentine writes pretty things, although I'm not really equipped to feel the things they describe.

Very nice! Congratulations! Oh, and since I think I forgot to say it before, my sympathies for being wheelchair-bound. (That was you, wasn't it? anamia gets confused sometimes...

[Professor T. Pollution]

Guys. GUYS. I only just noticed today — I now have an adam's apple. This is exciting, at least to me. I've always liked adam's apples...

Also, Valentine writes pretty things, although I'm not really equipped to feel the things they describe.

Very nice! Congratulations! Oh, and since I think I forgot to say it before, my sympathies for being wheelchair-bound. (That was you, wasn't it? anamia gets confused sometimes...

Yes — I broke my foot. In a swordfighting duel. At midnight. On a hilltop.

I snapped a bone, winced slightly, kept fighting, slew my opponent, talked for a bit, walked to my car, and drove home (of course, everything after the 'bone-snapping' part turned out to be a terrible mistake, considering it resulted in me ripping a tendon off of my broken bone).

Well, if the X-ray in two weeks looks good, I'll be able to start using crutches. If not I'll quite possibly need a second, more serious surgery.

Really I'm just feeling extremely morose at the moment, which is why I wrote out the above self-indulgent story. P isn't the only one who likes to type about himself...

[krossero]

Sorry to hear that, Professor. I hope you heal up quickly!

And I'm assuming that this must be yet another case of me being here when everyone else is asleep? Because you people keep somewhat normal hours, yes?

And I'm considering posting a little bit of morose complaining, myself, but I don't know where to put it, or even if it's really wise to do at all. It's hard to find a balance between thinking too much about things, and repressing them completely.

Anywho, on the upside of things, Physics to day was incredible. That may have been the best lecture I've ever attended.

And (that's my word for starting sentences, Yadas, if you hadn't noticed) today on my way home, I heard the word 'weird' used as an insult for the first time in a very long time. I was amused, until I realized that these people who say these things are supposed to be the majority, and that the majority doesn't use the word 'weird' as a compliment, as I do.

[Professor T. Pollution]

When I was a young lamb frolicking through the public elementary school system (hah), I had one friend. We were very close, and very strange, and we used "normal" and "average" as deadly insults. It was probably close to the start of all my various strangenesses, although it's quite a chicken-or-egg scenario.

I would stay up and keep you company, Krossero, but I have to rise in a mere handful of hours to make large quantities of granola...but by all means, indulde in some morose complaining. This thread has been eerily upbeat of late; I could use an injection of pessimism and despair (or at least realism and melancholy).

[Brackets]

Hm. For once in my life I can't seem to think of things to be morose about.

[krossero]

Ah, the woes of working the midnight shift.

And Professor, 'normal' has for the longest time been a terrible insult for me. I have a distinct memory (from this summer, so it shouldn't be surprising that it's distinct, but my memory...is strange in the way that it works) of sitting in my mom's truck in a parking lot, waiting for her to get out of the store. This woman walked by, and all I could think of was how incredibly ordinary she seemed. I invented this horrible life of averageness for her, and a feeling of utter horror crept over me. When my mom returned, I begged her to never let me be that way.

And that story really has nothing to do with anything.

Re: being remorseful, I'm at a place in my life where I really shouldn't be unhappy, and for the most part, I'm not. I just tend to get a little depressed at night, when I have time to settle down and think about things. It's a little annoying, because I really do love the night. But maybe that's a part of why I do? Oh, brain, oh emotions...I will never understand you.

[Brackets]

Ah, the woes of working the midnight shift.

And Professor, 'normal' has for the longest time been a terrible insult for me. I have a distinct memory (from this summer, so it shouldn't be surprising that it's distinct, but my memory...is strange in the way that it works) of sitting in my mom's truck in a parking lot, waiting for her to get out of the store. This woman walked by, and all I could think of was how incredibly ordinary she seemed. I invented this horrible life of averageness for her, and a feeling of utter horror crept over me. When my mom returned, I begged her to never let me be that way.

And that story really has nothing to do with anything.

I think the same about a lot of people I see in public. It really is terrifying.

[Teagan KGB]

Yes — I broke my foot. In a swordfighting duel. At midnight. On a hilltop.

I snapped a bone, winced slightly, kept fighting, slew my opponent, talked for a bit, walked to my car, and drove home (of course, everything after the 'bone-snapping' part turned out to be a terrible mistake, considering it resulted in me ripping a tendon off of my broken bone).

If this is true, you sir/ma'am/s'mir, are truly epic.

[krossero]

Oh, hey, Professor, I forgot to congratulate you on the Adam's apple. That's completely awesome.

[TK Sloan]

I just got home from being at school for 14 hours, 6 of which I was constantly drumming. My shoulders are going to kill tomorrow. Not to mention I only got about 3-4 hours of decent sleep last night. I just loooooove when room mates have impromptu drunken get togethers, go out to the bar, come back, go to a friend's house, and go straight to work the next morning without letting me know they survived the night.

I must say, thank you for only writing 5 pages today. It cut down my catching up to a reasonable amount.

I am hereby claiming the British Library as my own.

I'll storm it tomorrow. Anyone who wants to join needs to meet me outside at 8:00, preferably with tea and a large weapon.

Due to fatigue, I read this as "preferably with tea and a large spoon."

***

I never realized just how much concentration percussion takes. I came out of my hour long lesson feeling like my brain had been replaced with porridge. And because I'm the first and only Classical Percussion student (the other 2-4 guys are in the Jazz program) I get assigned triple the amount of practice time (3 instruments on my final, whereas jazz doesn't even have a final). Basically I'm expected to practice for 3 hours a day, plus 1/2 hour of piano. Good thing I have spaces between classes to cram it in without making an extra trip down there.

This, of course, has nothing to do with anything. Therefore I will make it somewhat Yada-compatible.

I'm the only (biologically) female percussionist around. Even at the local University, there are only guys. I think I chose that instrument because it's a "guy" thing. Judging by the way my class mates look at how I dress and act, they probably think that playing percussion turns you into a dude.

Maybe it does? *strokes chin in thought*

[prettyeyes]

Wow. Spending a day away from Aven is hazardous for my brain. I think I have a lot to catch up on!

But on a happy note, my new roommate and I are getting on swimmingly.

[krossero]

Me being melodramatic and lame, under a spoiler for those who want to keep their sanity:

So, I guess I've just been feeling pretty lonely, lately. And not in the way that I'm actually physically alone--we all know those are two very different things.

It's just that I don't really have anyone that I really feel comfortable talking to. I have great friends, but it takes a lot to get me to talk about things, (except via the internet, obviously) and I just can't do it. Partly because there are only a few people I'm close enough to talk to like that in the first place, but also because I don't think that any of the few who would understand actually care to hear about my issues. It's not like I don't blame them, because they have lives, too, and issues of their own.

But there's also the problem of them simply not understanding some of the things I'm drama-ing over. Like gender, and sexuality or the lack thereof, and love, and all sorts of things.

The one person who really listens, and seems to understand a lot of this stuff, and to be open about it, is the one person I have the biggest secret from.

And ever since my best friend got pregnant, I've just really not wanted to talk to her about myself, because one of the things that's upsetting me is that she did get pregnant. It really takes all of my energy to be supportive of her, and going beyond that is going to take me a while to be able to do. And I think she wants me to be happy for her, which is something I just can't do. I'm terrified that this is going to ruin her life.

Something that's happened a lot lately is that I'll pick up my phone and look at it for a while, wanting to call someone, talk to someone--and then just putting it down again, because there's no one I can talk to about this.

I hate being lonely and (related, but obviously not necessarily tied together) I hate being romantic. That's a whole 'nother story on its own, though. And it's one of the things that I really can't tell to anyone IRL, and it has to be private online. Not that anyone cares. But sometimes I really wish that someone would. And that goes for all of my issues, and is one of its own; I really just want someone to care.

Anyway, I can't say I'm surprised that all of that came out sounding very melodramatic, because that's me when I emote. But I can apologize, if you actually read this. Sorry.

Oh, and a lot of it probably doesn't make much sense to anyone but me. You've been warned. *shrugs*

[Amputation Defenestration]

OH MY GAWD.

I have no time to catch up right now so I'll leave that for the morrow, but I CANNOT LET THIS PASS UNMENTIONED.

BEST QUEERSECRET EVAR.

[Adriatic]

Me being melodramatic and lame, under a spoiler for those who want to keep their sanity:

So, I guess I've just been feeling pretty lonely, lately. And not in the way that I'm actually physically alone--we all know those are two very different things.

It's just that I don't really have anyone that I really feel comfortable talking to. I have great friends, but it takes a lot to get me to talk about things, (except via the internet, obviously) and I just can't do it. Partly because there are only a few people I'm close enough to talk to like that in the first place, but also because I don't think that any of the few who would understand actually care to hear about my issues. It's not like I don't blame them, because they have lives, too, and issues of their own.

But there's also the problem of them simply not understanding some of the things I'm drama-ing over. Like gender, and sexuality or the lack thereof, and love, and all sorts of things.

The one person who really listens, and seems to understand a lot of this stuff, and to be open about it, is the one person I have the biggest secret from.

And ever since my best friend got pregnant, I've just really not wanted to talk to her about myself, because one of the things that's upsetting me is that she did get pregnant. It really takes all of my energy to be supportive of her, and going beyond that is going to take me a while to be able to do. And I think she wants me to be happy for her, which is something I just can't do. I'm terrified that this is going to ruin her life.

Something that's happened a lot lately is that I'll pick up my phone and look at it for a while, wanting to call someone, talk to someone--and then just putting it down again, because there's no one I can talk to about this.

I hate being lonely and (related, but obviously not necessarily tied together) I hate being romantic. That's a whole 'nother story on its own, though. And it's one of the things that I really can't tell to anyone IRL, and it has to be private online. Not that anyone cares. But sometimes I really wish that someone would. And that goes for all of my issues, and is one of its own; I really just want someone to care.

Anyway, I can't say I'm surprised that all of that came out sounding very melodramatic, because that's me when I emote. But I can apologize, if you actually read this. Sorry.

Oh, and a lot of it probably doesn't make much sense to anyone but me. You've been warned. *shrugs*

...krossero, this sounds so much like the state I was in a few years ago (I wish I could say it gets better, but maybe it just gets dulled a bit; I still don't know). I know I'm yet another person on the internet, but please feel free to PM or Facebook me if it would help. (I'm even sorrier than usual that we're not all within a bus ride of each other, now...)

(And yeah, I'm on here on a weekday morning, which I never do. I took the day off work today because I'm going to be a talking head in a documentary tomorrow... Which is 60 per cent exciting, and 40 per cent sending me into an irrational loop of 'But what if I turn up and they were expecting, well, someone who looks like a woman?')