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Teagan KGB

TransWhatevers of AVEN

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Custard Cream
1 hour ago, Tassputin said:

That's actually something I've been talking about with an IRL friend who happens to be a pre-everything trans guy. We both agree that if we were automatically perceived as masculine, we'd feel more comfortable with playing with makeup or painting our nails an unusual colour or even wearing an article of clothing that's traditionally perceived as feminine. He often tells me that when he goes on T, he'll regularly wear extravagant stage makeup in public, as he's found that he really likes wearing extravagant makeup but he doesn't feel comfortable doing so right now, because he might be seen as a girl. In general, I think we both really want to do something that would be seen as "presenting femme", but not really associated with beauty, rather, with extravagance and/or "so bad it's good"ness.

 

Now, I'm a bit of a different case, as in I'm agender, my presentation is masc-leaning androgynous and I want people to look at me and go "What the hell is that" in regards to my gender. I generally feel very happy about the way I look now (I have a naturally androgynous face and if you look closely you can see my 'stache, something I was terribly unhappy about when I thought I was cis but am ecstatic about now that I know I'm not), and I have decided that I won't go on T or have any surgery because in my case, the downsides outweigh the benefits. Well, the other day I went to the mall and bought a sports bra and then thought I'd take the leap and bought two little bottles (?) of nail polish. One's a beautiful shade of bright purple and the other is a beautifully obnoxious shade of dark green. Long story short, I now have obnoxiously green nails and, to be honest, it's not dysphoria-inducing at all! It's not something I'd like to wear every day of my life, but hey, at least I know that if I ever want to have obnoxiously green nails, the nail polish is right there.

 

Now I remembered what profile pic I have and thought of Rasputin with my shade of nail polish. Grigori, we'd both look obnoxiously fabulous!

You made me smile! I love the idea of rocking 'obnoxious green' that should be it's official colour name...

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Bloc
6 hours ago, anisotrophic said:

And with T I'm getting more relaxed about femininity, starting to think I might like being female sometimes.

This is something I heard from a number of people taking testosterone. If I would take estrogen I would probably more comfortable wearing suits after some time. Now  I cannot wear them without feeling really uncomfortable.

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nerdperson777
18 hours ago, Tassputin said:

Well, the other day I went to the mall and bought a sports bra and then thought I'd take the leap and bought two little bottles (?) of nail polish. One's a beautiful shade of bright purple and the other is a beautifully obnoxious shade of dark green. Long story short, I now have obnoxiously green nails and, to be honest, it's not dysphoria-inducing at all! It's not something I'd like to wear every day of my life, but hey, at least I know that if I ever want to have obnoxiously green nails, the nail polish is right there.

 

Now I remembered what profile pic I have and thought of Rasputin with my shade of nail polish. Grigori, we'd both look obnoxiously fabulous!

I had to wear makeup for a stage performance and it didn't feel as weird as I thought.

 

15 hours ago, Bloc said:

This is something I heard from a number of people taking testosterone. If I would take estrogen I would probably more comfortable wearing suits after some time. Now  I cannot wear them without feeling really uncomfortable.

I had posed a similar thought to an online group.  I have taken hormones to physically transition to the "opposite" of my AGAB.  As far as most people are concerned, I'm male.  They would have no idea that I'm actually non-binary unless I tell them.  So I'm over 2 years on T.  I pretty much pass as male 100% of the time.  The only people who call me a girl or she/her pronouns are relatives or family friends who I'm not out to, not counting my parents who don't seem to try.  So my hypothesis, at least for non-binary people, is that when you have comfortably passed as the "opposite" of your AGAB, and prefer or don't mind, gender matters less over time.  At this point, I'm kind of "whatever" when it comes to gender.  Of course, not everyone is like this, but it is a possible trend.

 

When I first had ideas about gender, I needed to affirm my masculinity.  I needed to everyone to know that I wasn't feminine.  When doing gendered activities, I made sure that I had at least a chance at the masculine gendered one.  Then sometime later I started hormones.  I had a super masculine phase where I decided to buy packers and act like I had that body part when I never really cared to have one in the first place.  Now I just treat it like it was a useful experiment.  I don't want a phalloplasty.  I'm fine with the parts I have.  If I ever feel like I want one, I'll just put on a packer.  But I never go out with it because my parts are too sensitive to even put something else in there, and I'd be too paranoid that it fell out my pant leg or shifted into the wrong place.  Anyway, I had no more desires of that variety later.  Around a year or extra half on T, I started letting myself be feminine in public.  I usually didn't like doing my high pitch sounds from my big range in public because I would get clocked.  But I know no one in the places I go to will think I'm a girl so I do it and have people see me as weird.  The last time I wore a wig for a performance, I got clocked so I have been wary about wigs.  But my face shouldn't be as round so people might see a guy now.  So now, it's like masculine, feminine?  Does it really matter?  Why is toughness a man thing that leads to toxic masculinity?  Why do you need to prove your manhood with all these tough steel things?  Who cares if I'm dancing around by flapping or oozing about?  Why is that feminine?  I don't need to gender anything.  I don't even think to gender myself most of the time anymore.  Ambiguity is fun.

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Coddiwomple
15 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

I had to wear makeup for a stage performance and it didn't feel as weird as I thought.

I'm an actor so I sometimes have to wear makeup for shows. I actually find makeup really fun and it doesn't make me dysphoric, but I never wear it because it's expensive, I'm lazy, and it would likely inhibit my passing abilities. Maybe if I ever go on hormones I'll experiment with makeup more.

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PoeciMeta

I completely agree. :cake: to @Tassputin!

I don't know about makeup, but I think I would appreciate feminine stuff in general way more if it wasn't systematically associated with feminity. Once I convinced my brother to put a skirt on as a challenge and you know what, he kept it on all day and even visited our grandma and cousins with it. Another day, I put a skirt on as a dare (complete with binder and hairy legs...) for the birthday of another guy who occasionally wears feminine stuff too. That makes me way more okay with skirts. If I looked less feminine, I would definitely wear them when practicality isn't an issue. With macho combat boots. And watch people's faces. :P

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Celyn
21 hours ago, Poe's Creep Meta said:

I completely agree. :cake: to @Tassputin!

I don't know about makeup, but I think I would appreciate feminine stuff in general way more if it wasn't systematically associated with feminity. Once I convinced my brother to put a skirt on as a challenge and you know what, he kept it on all day and even visited our grandma and cousins with it. Another day, I put a skirt on as a dare (complete with binder and hairy legs...) for the birthday of another guy who occasionally wears feminine stuff too. That makes me way more okay with skirts. If I looked less feminine, I would definitely wear them when practicality isn't an issue. With macho combat boots. And watch people's faces. :P

KILTS KILTS KILTS!!!

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Life Of Tass
11 minutes ago, SCelyton said:

KILTS KILTS KILTS!!!

K I L T S !!!!!!

 

Fun fact: In Greece during the 1800s and early 1900s, a type of skirt called the "Φουστανέλα" (foustanela, derives from foustani, which translates to skirt or dress) was a part of Greek military wear and was considered the epitomy of masculinity. They also had some kind of tights/stockings to wear underneath the foustanela and also often wore large heavy shoes called "tsarouhia" with pompom-like decorations at their tip. The further you could lift your leg up while dancing (traditional dances) with tsarouhia on, the strongest you were considered. Reasonable, these buggers were really heavy.

 

Anyway, here's a polandball comic to illustrate my point about the foustanela (contains mention of conflict between countries during the early 20th century) :

 

Spoiler

x06YpLT1KLInmzgCWCz6FF4jJTeAknuMyBHoBwEP

 

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PoeciMeta

KIIILTS

I can't get enough proof that clothes are arbitrarily gendered!! 

@Tassputin this comic is hilarious, oh gods. 

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Fluffy Femme Guy
On 10/5/2019 at 1:20 AM, nerdperson777 said:

My mom now tells me that the times that she told me about other people's kids' achievements was so that I would try to be better than them.  Really?  I interpreted as "you suck and you'll never amount to anything so don't even try".

Even when it didn't come off to me as a 'you suck' comment, as a kid I always failed to notice oblique (subtle+indirect) motivation like that.
 

"Jim plays five instruments, is at the top of his class, and is applying to Harvard."
"That's neat, good for him. I hope he does well."

I had similar instances with some teachers who would imply that I wasn't good at something with the belief that I would try to prove them wrong.
This backfired because I trusted my teachers and believed wholeheartedly what they said.

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Celyn
6 hours ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

some teachers who would imply that I wasn't good at something with the belief that I would try to prove them wrong.
This backfired because I trusted my teachers and believed wholeheartedly what they said.

BIG SAME

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DarkStormyKnight

Yo I hardcore can't stand skirts but I LOOOOVE kilts I used to wear my kilt to parties all the time! It's wonderful!

Similar to others I've really only ever worn stage makeup which I feel fine with because it's a mask so I personally don't have to enjoy it, it's my character or whoever. Never really worn it casually, mostly just can't be bothered haha.

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Destan

I saw a video about types of intersex. One of the people in it said that they didn't have sex organs.

My immediate reaction was that I wish I didn't have them either and it must be nice not having them.

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief

I got gendered male by a stranger the first time so that was nice xD gotta be honest I think I've stopped hanging around places like this because it's painful being stuck on the UK NHS waiting lists and knowing I won't even start T until probably around 4 years from now. I need to start working and saving up money to go private. But that's not worth it if I can't keep it going and I've also heard more and more GPs throwing up problems with things like transferring into the NHS system from private, people who get hormones and self medicate being refused blood tests etc. 😕

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Bloc
4 hours ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said:

I got gendered male by a stranger the first time so that was nice xD gotta be honest I think I've stopped hanging around places like this because it's painful being stuck on the UK NHS waiting lists and knowing I won't even start T until probably around 4 years from now. I need to start working and saving up money to go private. But that's not worth it if I can't keep it going and I've also heard more and more GPs throwing up problems with things like transferring into the NHS system from private, people who get hormones and self medicate being refused blood tests etc. 😕

Sorry that you have to wait such long for hormones.

 

Not being gendered as your assigned gender by some stranger is nice. It happened to me only once and only in a fleeting interaction.

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PoeciMeta

I realised I had much more trouble putting on a sports bra than a binder, anf you know what, it made me glad. 

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief
1 hour ago, Bloc said:

Sorry that you have to wait such long for hormones.

 

Not being gendered as your assigned gender by some stranger is nice. It happened to me only once and only in a fleeting interaction.

Definitely ^_^ it was just someone in a shop saying "sorry bro" to get at a shelf but it made my day.

And thanks ❤️ I wish you many gender affirming experiences.

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Calligraphette_Coe
1 hour ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said:

Definitely ^_^ it was just someone in a shop saying "sorry bro" to get at a shelf but it made my day.

And thanks ❤️ I wish you many gender affirming experiences.

It's always a good day when you have someone see in you what you see in ther mirror. And in your deepest throughts.

Here's to many more.

 

Sorry about your problems with the NHS. Over here across the Big Drink, we have different problems. Even with Cadlilac plans, there are minefields to navigate, and if  one has had pre-existing conditions that would make transitioning a bad idea/ against medical advice, one is kind of stuck. The one thing you can take for granted with most private insurance here is that they'll do a LOT to avoid paying claims or giving assurances that certain things are covered and for how much.

 

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief
16 hours ago, Calligraphette_Coe said:

It's always a good day when you have someone see in you what you see in ther mirror. And in your deepest throughts.

Here's to many more.

 

Sorry about your problems with the NHS. Over here across the Big Drink, we have different problems. Even with Cadlilac plans, there are minefields to navigate, and if  one has had pre-existing conditions that would make transitioning a bad idea/ against medical advice, one is kind of stuck. The one thing you can take for granted with most private insurance here is that they'll do a LOT to avoid paying claims or giving assurances that certain things are covered and for how much.

 

I think the NHS really has a lot of the problems which US healthcare for people who can let's say just about afford comprehensive healthcare but nothing involving many specialists, the biggest difference is the completely unreasonable pricing for you. And in that it's absolutely heartbreaking wanting to help but not being able to do more than donate to a few gofundmes and other accounts(I need to start using the others since I saw how much gofundme charge their users). The issue with having comorbid stuff going on in the NHS is that they are very slow to find the specialists which people with more unusual problems have, and with gender clinics particularly I've only just got a letter saying I can't be referred to a psychologist because some of it's related to transition problems( -_- at the moment I have zero diagnoses and it prevents me from getting support through disability services at uni, so I wanted to push for one and also get mental healthcare of any extent on the NHS rather than private, which I've been forced to do, also the waiting list for my autism assessment was two years as well and yet I've waited two years and still no news). So yeah the reason we're stuck over here is because the Tories have been defunding the NHS strategically for almost a decade now, which is why it's in a terrible state, in order to replace it completely with private healthcare. And in addition there are major medicine shortages happening across the UK, with things being affected including antidepressants, HRT(for both cis and trans people though of course it's ESPECIALLY unfun for us), potentially epileptic medicine and painkillers.

 

It's nice to see you around again, I kinda disappeared ^_^ gender stuff is hard, though I wish you better times regardless. ❤️

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief
17 hours ago, Poe's Creep Meta said:

I realised I had much more trouble putting on a sports bra than a binder, anf you know what, it made me glad. 

I definitely get that! While I have sports bras, I haven't used them in a very long time. The heavy duty stiff fabric around the chest compared to no real compression above it means it is somewhat different to put on compared to binders. Though I'm worried because I overstretched something in my binder and the stitching started coming undone 😢

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PoeciMeta
26 minutes ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said:

I definitely get that! While I have sports bras, I haven't used them in a very long time. The heavy duty stiff fabric around the chest compared to no real compression above it means it is somewhat different to put on compared to binders. Though I'm worried because I overstretched something in my binder and the stitching started coming undone 😢

Yeah, exactly, and also mine has those bra things at the back that are impossible to fasten (not my fault, I couldn't buy one myself) and it's so annoying... 

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Celyn
48 minutes ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said:

there are major medicine shortages happening across the UK, with things being affected including antidepressants, HRT(for both cis and trans people though of course it's ESPECIALLY unfun for us

I have been affected by both of these...actually ran out of antidepressants. If I wasn't in as good a mental place as I have been right then, that could have been quite dangerous for me.

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ColeHW34

@SCelyton @Lonemathsytoothbrushthief I wish there was a easier way to synthesize the drugs for you. That'll help a lot right?

I'm sure there's a patent or reaction paper out there for grabs though.

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief
3 hours ago, SCelyton said:

I have been affected by both of these...actually ran out of antidepressants. If I wasn't in as good a mental place as I have been right then, that could have been quite dangerous for me.

Hugs if wanted below:

Spoiler

giphy.gif

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

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Celyn
1 hour ago, Member114264 said:

I'm sure there's a patent or reaction paper out there for grabs though.

I love that idea but don't feel like risking the jail time...

@Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Awww best virtual hug!

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ColeHW34
1 minute ago, SCelyton said:

I love that idea but don't feel like risking the jail time...

@Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Awww best virtual hug!

True.

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief
4 minutes ago, SCelyton said:

I love that idea but don't feel like risking the jail time...

@Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Awww best virtual hug!

Same actually. Can't do anything to risk my career on that end because I'm already in dodgy territory being disabled enough to struggle with work, but not enough that anyone's likely to help me out. -_- So solidarity, we'll get through this heap of trash system and I know right! Virtual hugs are great ^_^

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief

Btw I'm happy to send hugs to people struggling with their own respective heap of trash healthcare systems ❤️

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ColeHW34
3 hours ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said:

Btw I'm happy to send hugs to people struggling with their own respective heap of trash healthcare systems ❤️

Thanks. When I was on my anti-seizure medicine and my Growth hormones everything became crazy difficult to get my hands on it.

First the insurance dropped the services, the we worked like hell to get it back, then prices jumps, and so it goes.

 

Yeah my plan for synthesizing anything would be hard to do anyhow.

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief
On 10/22/2019 at 3:14 AM, Member114264 said:

Thanks. When I was on my anti-seizure medicine and my Growth hormones everything became crazy difficult to get my hands on it.

First the insurance dropped the services, the we worked like hell to get it back, then prices jumps, and so it goes.

 

Yeah my plan for synthesizing anything would be hard to do anyhow.

That's awful :(

 

I think bunnies are good animals for this:

Spoiler

giphy.gif

 

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DarkStormyKnight

Health care systems are horrible sorry guys. ❤️ 

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