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TrippleL
3 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

When I woke up I felt happy and euphoric.....even fulfilled in some way.  Nothing about being AFAB with another AFAB felt bad or wrong, and it didn't feel like a lesbian experience at all.  It felt completely right, but I was still oblivious about everything to do with identity at that point.

 

This sounds like exactly the same feeling I referred to as euphoria above.

 

Apart from 2-3 facts being opposite (AMAB / non-aggressive feminine nature) I could have written that post 🙂

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nerdperson777
On 4/5/2019 at 8:47 PM, AceOfHearts_85 said:

I wish I could get a hysto, but I'm terrified of having it done. 😣

I was told by my doctor that I can up my dose back to how it was originally since my red blood count has gone down significantly from the danger zone level I had before.  It might've been because I was actually unable to get T for a while and/or the lower dose.  But since I can go back to my old dose, I should stop having those monthly terrors.  Other than that horror experience, I quite liked being on a 0.4 dose.  I was pretty much not "itchy" at all.  I found that my main dislike even at the beginning of being on T.  When I was having my issues, I was looking up hysterectomies because I didn't want my body to do this.  Now I'm thinking that maybe I shall eventually get that hysterectomy, just for the uterus, keep the ovaries and then go back to that amazing 0.4 dose.  I don't think I'm worried about major surgeries anymore, having already had one done on my knee.  I even thought that if I could get past this surgery, top surgery would be no problem.  I am just going to get keyhole incision so it's probably way easier than all the other ones like DI.

 

On 4/7/2019 at 10:49 AM, AceOfHearts_85 said:

That sounds pretty clear to me!  lol 👍

 

I remember having dreams of kissing girls in 6th and 10th grade, back before I knew I liked girls or that I was ace and nonbinary.  In each case I always took the dominant role, and was physically on top of my feminine partner while we were laying down on some sort of bed or sofa.

 

When I woke up I felt happy and euphoric.....even fulfilled in some way.  Nothing about being AFAB with another AFAB felt bad or wrong, and it didn't feel like a lesbian experience at all.  It felt completely right, but I was still oblivious about everything to do with identity at that point.

 

When I was 21 I started having feelings for girls but I didn't understand what those feelings were.  Then when I turned 30 it was confirmed that I did indeed like women and I am a "top" because I have an aggressive masculine nature.  I finally realized why I didn't feel gay, and it's because I'm nonbinary and ace.  My mind was blown. 😄

I should've known I was some sort of guy because although I knew I liked hanging with girls, I always saw myself in a masculine role.  Had I been AMAB and allo, I'd probably just be cishet.  I don't think I'd have any dysphoria about having an AMAB body, although I can't say for that one body part, since I can't imagine wanting something I never had.  In my dreams, if it involved being with a girl, I was always the guy in the relationship.  All the social traditions required for a cishet male, I wouldn't mind doing them.  I hope this part makes some sense to people.  I could do things like being the gentleman doing nice things for the girl, get her presents, or even get down on a knee to propose.  But I'm aro so while I can do all these things, these are just actions to me.  I don't have any (romantic/sexual) emotions behind those actions.

 

But another weird thing I thought about is that the masculinity of this hypothetical me is just because it's a male persona.  He's not doing anything "manly" like have a beard or be tough.  Maybe I'm saying that there's no toxic masculinity in it.  This character of mine is just a gentleman.  In fact, he's probably kinda feminine if I bring my current self into it.  My gender is weird.

 

I might've been asked to rejoin a group I've been kicked out of, after getting back on good relations with it.  I want to wait until my life is more stable financially but I'm entertaining the idea to just play a small role.  I'm going to have to choose a character for whatever theme they're doing.  I was trying to assert my masculinity back then but now if I'm choosing a character, I'm either going for the gender ambiguous ones or the pretty boys.  Yay confusing gender!

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Fluffy Femme Guy

I now officially own a pair of leggings.

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ColeHW

Hey. 

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Coddiwomple
1 minute ago, ColeHW said:

Hey. 

👋 What's going on?

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ColeHW
12 hours ago, Coddiwomple said:

👋 What's going on?

Not much. Just a bit lonely not having anyone to talk to whether it be irl or online (due to a lack of wifi & service).

Kinda been cranky and irritable lately too. No one of my caliber (intelligence or hobby wise) at my place i’m staying. 

I might have had a minor bout of dysphoria of some kind looking at myself and the things I did in the past. I guess I need AVEN and more farmer’s market days to keep me happy.

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TrippleL
On 1/17/2019 at 7:52 AM, TrippleL said:

What they say: “Just be yourself”

 

What they act like: “Don’t you DARE be different. Be what I want you to be. Don’t stand out. Be like other people (ideally “normal” people on TV). You must like sports, boys like sports. You mustn’t like girly things, boys don’t like girly things”

About to catch up with my family for the first time in ages so thought I’d repost this 🙄

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draegonslaeyr

I’m extremely confused rn... 

In the rest of the world’s eyes, I am a cis female, but I know I’m not one..

I like being female, but I also like being male. I like being both, and I like being neither. Sometimes, a certain one more than another. I don’t know what I am.. I may be polygender? Bigender? Idk. I’m still trying to figure out. 

I would prefer going by “he” rather than she. But if I tell people that, they’ll think I’m just male. And I’m not...

 

Idk. This is my first post and I just needed to get some feelings out🙃

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TrippleL
4 hours ago, draegonslaeyr said:

I’m extremely confused rn... 

In the rest of the world’s eyes, I am a cis female, but I know I’m not one..

I like being female, but I also like being male. I like being both, and I like being neither. Sometimes, a certain one more than another. I don’t know what I am.. I may be polygender? Bigender? Idk. I’m still trying to figure out. 

I would prefer going by “he” rather than she. But if I tell people that, they’ll think I’m just male. And I’m not...

 

Idk. This is my first post and I just needed to get some feelings out🙃

Welcome 🙂

 

I relate to a lot of what you wrote. I identify as non-binary and, more specifically, an androgyne.

 

I feel both male and female which doesn’t fluctuate, but I naturally lean more one way or the other in certain situations. Androgynes do not have to be 50/50 but can be any mix. Personally I feel pretty close to half and half, like 51% female/49% male 🙂

 

There’s a whole range of other similar identities so good luck exploring them!

 

Maybe check this thread out to see if you can relate:

 

 

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nerdperson777
19 hours ago, draegonslaeyr said:

I’m extremely confused rn... 

In the rest of the world’s eyes, I am a cis female, but I know I’m not one..

I like being female, but I also like being male. I like being both, and I like being neither. Sometimes, a certain one more than another. I don’t know what I am.. I may be polygender? Bigender? Idk. I’m still trying to figure out. 

I would prefer going by “he” rather than she. But if I tell people that, they’ll think I’m just male. And I’m not...

 

Idk. This is my first post and I just needed to get some feelings out🙃

Genderfluid would be the gender that comes to my mind.  Gender is fluid and can change in a day, a week, an hour, a second.  Even if gender changes once every 6 months or 10 years, one can still be genderfluid.  At first I thought that I had a different gender 3 days a year, but that only happened one year.  I wouldn't say that my gender has changed much recently but at the same time, I have no idea what I am anymore so I guess I still have two genders but I'm not sure which one I am now, maybe a blend of both.

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Celyn

I am very much excited to never have a shark week again one way or the other. Although I know it's something loads of cis women do, it's a hugely important transition goal for me.

 

In other news, it's irritating that masc clothes make my face look female but femme clothes make my face look more male. The exact opposite of what I want 😕

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Miss Who

I'm slowly coming out as nonbinary to my speech and debate team

So far so good!!! Everyone except one person has been really accepting and I don't really care about what that one person thinks

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Anthracite_Impreza

Sometimes I just can't face the gender section, it hits too close to home. I'm feeling more and more male every day and my dysphoria is going through the roof.

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Light02

Me and my roommate had a pretty scary experience today. We were at the mall and we went to the bathroom. They always insist on going to the women's bathroom because they feel more comfortable there and I always go in with them. Today when we went in some lady started yelling at us, asking us what we were doing in the women's bathroom. My friend replied as they always do, they said we wanted to pee. The woman kept yelling and then some guy came in and told us: "Boys, you better get out of here." At this point I got scared and I was begging my friend for us to leave with my eyes. Instead they just said: "We're girls!" and just went into one of the stalls. I went to wait for them outside. The guy left as well and didn't say anything else but the woman followed me outside and asked me (sarcastically, while still yelling): "What were you looking for in there, your mom?!". I then showed her my ID card and she just said: "I don't want your bullshit excuses." Then she finally left. For me, this whole encounter was scary as hell and I was genuinely worried we were going to get physically assaulted. As I was waiting for my friend to come out my heart was pounding. Once they were done they came out, looked at me and started laughing. I did, too but because of all the nervousness and the adrenaline. I then told them how scared I had gotten and how I was hoping they would understand the expression with which I was looking at them and that I wanted us to just give in and leave. They then told me: "What do you mean that was scary? That was the funniest thing that's ever happened to us! This is one of those stories that I'm going to tell my grandkids about!" Anyways, I feel better now and after all, nothing happened. Thank God.

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General

@Light02 That's disgusting.  *smh* Your friend may have found it funny but I sure didn't.  That woman was completely out of line.

 

That is exactly the kind of crap I don't want to deal with when it comes to public restrooms.  Fortunately I haven't been met with such hostility when I was in the habit of using the women's room, but I did experience MANY awkward/uncomfortable situations.  Now I just don't go to the restroom at all unless it's gender neutral.

 

Truth be told I probably would've kept some "feminine" products in my pocket and flashed them to her while saying something snarky like, "Oh I'm in the wrong place?  Sorry about that.  I just didn't feel comfortable shoving this tampon up my penis in the men's room." 😠

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Calligraphette_Coe
11 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Sometimes I just can't face the gender section, it hits too close to home. I'm feeling more and more male every day and my dysphoria is going through the roof.

Oh god, do I know THAT 'through the roof feeling'. It's like the wastegate on one's dysphoria turbocharger is stuck closed and the turbine bearings are about to sieze. 

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Anthracite_Impreza

Some people just can't mind their own business @Light02. I'm glad you're ok.

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nerdperson777
6 hours ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

@Light02 That's disgusting.  *smh* Your friend may have found it funny but I sure didn't.  That woman was completely out of line.

 

That is exactly the kind of crap I don't want to deal with when it comes to public restrooms.  Fortunately I haven't been met with such hostility when I was in the habit of using the women's room, but I did experience MANY awkward/uncomfortable situations.  Now I just don't go to the restroom at all unless it's gender neutral.

 

Truth be told I probably would've kept some "feminine" products in my pocket and flashed them to her while saying something snarky like, "Oh I'm in the wrong place?  Sorry about that.  I just didn't feel comfortable shoving this tampon up my penis in the men's room." 😠

I think Light lives in a country where there are no protections for trans people.  They're more likely to be assaulted, verbally or physically.  I'm fortunate to have passing privilege so no one really questions me in the bathroom, but it could be different because given the binary, I would use the men's room, where people don't tend to care.  I would use a neutral bathroom first if I saw it though.

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Light02
5 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

I think Light lives in a country where there are no protections for trans people.  They're more likely to be assaulted, verbally or physically.  I'm fortunate to have passing privilege so no one really questions me in the bathroom, but it could be different because given the binary, I would use the men's room, where people don't tend to care.  I would use a neutral bathroom first if I saw it though.

Yeah, that's exactly right. I usually go in the men's room whenever I'm at a place where no one knows me because I pass as a little boy most of the time. When I'm at University I alternate between the two bathrooms because I don't want people who know me (as a girl, because I'm mostly closeted at University) to see me coming out of the men's bathroom. But my friend always uses the women's bathroom because they said they don't want to risk ever seeing a dick 😂.

 

Also, if we did ever get assaulted, yeah, it would suck and we don't have any legal protection but both of my parents are police officers, lol. If someone does something to us my dad would find them and they'd get sued to hell and back. 

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Coddiwomple
On 4/16/2019 at 11:08 PM, Miss Who said:

I'm slowly coming out as nonbinary to my speech and debate team

So far so good!!! Everyone except one person has been really accepting and I don't really care about what that one person thinks

Congrats!! I'm proud of you :D

 

@Light02 I'm really sorry that happened, that sounds awful :( Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

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Ardoise
On 3/15/2019 at 4:52 PM, Celyn said:

When I got the Transmasc CutTM the biggest thing I had to adjust to was having to remember to put on a scarf. 

I own so many scarves now...

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PoeciMeta

Hey there transwhatevers, do you think it would be a good idea to make a thread about physical transitioning? I'm seriously looking into it right now and there are sooo much things I'd like to ask, and while this thread seems to be about general trans stuff, it might be practical to have a separate place to discuss that. There's social transition too, but it's not my primary focus now so I'll just put the idea here and let someone interested pick it up. But since I might have an opportunity to start medical transition, I'm starting to feel like asking about it here, because on Aven I'm sure I'll get nice answers ^^

What do you think? :)

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Bloc
47 minutes ago, PoeciMeta said:

Hey there transwhatevers, do you think it would be a good idea to make a thread about physical transitioning? I'm seriously looking into it right now and there are sooo much things I'd like to ask, and while this thread seems to be about general trans stuff, it might be practical to have a separate place to discuss that. There's social transition too, but it's not my primary focus now so I'll just put the idea here and let someone interested pick it up. But since I might have an opportunity to start medical transition, I'm starting to feel like asking about it here, because on Aven I'm sure I'll get nice answers ^^

What do you think? :)

You can definitely start one ore more thread on your questions. Maybe a thread collecting the differen questions on AVEN maybe helpful too for people considering medical transition steps. I probably can't help you with your questions, as I am currently mostly considering the social aspects of transitioning. I don't consider medical transitioning at least the moment, as the social consequences are to scary for me.

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PoeciMeta
16 minutes ago, Bloc said:

You can definitely start one ore more thread on your questions. Maybe a thread collecting the differen questions on AVEN maybe helpful too for people considering medical transition steps. I probably can't help you with your questions, as I am currently mostly considering the social aspects of transitioning. I don't consider medical transitioning at least the moment, as the social consequences are to scary for me.

Ok, thanks, let's do it ^^

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Celyn
On 4/21/2019 at 6:44 PM, Ardoise said:

I own so many scarves now...

I have 7:

Red

Grey

Purple

White 

Welsh Flag

Ravenclaw

4th Doctor's 

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nerdperson777
2 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

Hey there transwhatevers, do you think it would be a good idea to make a thread about physical transitioning? I'm seriously looking into it right now and there are sooo much things I'd like to ask, and while this thread seems to be about general trans stuff, it might be practical to have a separate place to discuss that. There's social transition too, but it's not my primary focus now so I'll just put the idea here and let someone interested pick it up. But since I might have an opportunity to start medical transition, I'm starting to feel like asking about it here, because on Aven I'm sure I'll get nice answers ^^

What do you think? :)

You are free to ask questions too, and see whoever wants to answer.

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Ardoise

I'm dreading the return of hot weather, since it means I won't be able to wear my usual layered shirts.

On the other hand, I'm going to a swap meet tomorrow for the express purpose of getting rid of most of my "feminine" clothes.

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Kimmie.

I have to be myself more often, presenting as male is not good for my mental health.

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Celyn
28 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

I have to be myself more often, presenting as male is not good for my mental health.

I hope you can be your true self as often as possible!

Being trans is a mental health bind because masking is bad for it but so is feeling unsafe :(

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Kimmie.
14 minutes ago, Celyn said:

I hope you can be your true self as often as possible!

Being trans is a mental health bind because masking is bad for it but so is feeling unsafe :(

Yeah when i present as a woman, i am more happy an confident like i want to take in the world. And then i can live on that after. But that time gets shorter and shorter.

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