TransWhatevers of AVEN

[nerdperson777]

On 3/5/2019 at 11:24 PM, StomachGod said:

I think I may be an exception to that rule. I always look incredibly weird in formal outfits. They just don't suit me at all (heh).

Once I was trying to figure out what to wear to a wedding.  My friend said a tux would suit me.

[Kimmie.]

Found this article today 

As usual Google translated so spelling and the grammar may not be there 

And OG link: https://www.expressen.se/nyheter/transkvinnorna-inkludera-oss-i-systerskapet/

 

It is about being a transwomen on the international womens day. 

Spoiler

Include us in the sisterhood

International Women's Day is on March 8 every year to pay attention to inequality around the world.

But not all women are included in the fight.

Despite advances in trans matters, Swedish feminism still has problems with exclusion and ignorance - it means two young trans women who Expressen has spoken to on Friday.

- The women's day is very important for trans women, says Signe Krantz, 25.
Emma Westberg, 21, is an actor, musician and activist. For her, International Women's Day is a day that deals with sisterhood and fighting the patriarchy.

Despite this, she often feels excluded from the women's struggle - that she, as a transsexual, is not given a full seat in the women's movement.

- The Swedish feminist debate climate today is very white and very cis-normative. I usually think that the sisterhood exists between women as an answer to oppression, where one backs each other. But it is like we trans women only have to be part of the women on certain conditions. You let us play and play to be kind, but don't back us.
A year ago, the cultural debate in Sweden was characterized by whether it should be possible to choose their legal gender, a law that has been around for some time in both neighboring countries Norway and Denmark.

The debate had many rides, and Emma Westberg says that she felt a questioning of her justification.

- I am so tired that one gets to spread his hatred uncommented in well-known media. The level of the debate is still: "are trans women women?" Instead, we could talk about why trans women feel so bad and why suicide statistics are so high, she says, and continues:

- It's like you're having fun talking to, but you really are seen as a kind of paria, a half-fuss parody. Let me just live and be part of the human society. If we are not safe in men's rooms or women's rooms, where are we safe then?

"Accepted to spread transhat"
Emma explains that she encounters ignorance on a daily basis, and believes that the question of whether trans women should be included in the women's struggle dominates feminist forums and debates.

She gives examples from everyday life:

- I was in psychiatry this week to talk about my depression. Then the conversation slipped to the fact that my therapist wondered if you could still be called a transplant when doing a pelvic surgery. I'm so fucking tired of it, says Emma.

- You can't keep up with new people without someone coming and starting a discussion about my existence. It is so accepted to spread their transhat on the town, at school, in debate articles. It is just okay to write really long about why trans women are not women and it will be published.

Signe, 25: "The sisterhood should be boundless"
Signe Krantz, 25, is a student in media and communication science and political science. She has known of a silence when it comes to trans issues within the women's movement, especially during women's day.

- There has not been so much understanding and willingness to talk about it unfortunately. And there may be a perception that sometimes suits that the movement is not interested in a trans-perspective. Maybe sometimes for fear of what it means for their own feminism. The women's day is very important for trans women, so it is. But as a trans woman, I'm not sure if the ordinary big players care about how it affects me.

Last year's debate on legal gender and the definition of how a woman looks, also affected Signe.

- Last year, there were a couple of major players in the field of women's issues who commented on trans-issues in a sometimes ignorant, prejudiced and unpredictable manner. It made me very sorry. I'm here. I am a woman. Questions about sexism and women's rights affect me regardless. The sisterhood should be boundless and intersectional. But it does not turn out to be that when you focus on what sets us apart rather than what unites us.

Despite this, she believes that inclusion increases every year, that she sees more people who get involved and raise transcripts. The same applies to the policy that affects life as a transperson in Sweden.

According to Signe, it is moving forward, albeit very slowly.

In May last year, the government submitted a proposal for a more modern gender-related legislation - the same that brought a big debate last year. But nothing has happened yet.

 

READ MORE: This is how the future HBTQ policy should look

 

- I think more and more people get understanding and care. There is no question whether I am exposed to sexism or not, I do. In this way, I am affected by women's issues. But if you want to admit and bring me and other trans women into the conversation - that's another debate - for sure we are affected.

 

[Finn.]

I got a new sports bra and M was too big (I have a tiny ribcage) so I got S and it's a tad small but also,, I look so flat!

[nerdperson777]

2 hours ago, Finn. said:

I got a new sports bra and M was too big (I have a tiny ribcage) so I got S and it's a tad small but also,, I look so flat!

The other day I looked in the mirror without any top and I thought my chest looked smaller.  Feels great, but probably wouldn't feel as great as being flat.

[Jinkx]

I very casually came out to two classmates last night?  I guess I'd told one I was ace before, since they went, "You're ace, right?" and I said, "Among other things," and elaborated with, "Aro, ace, and nonbinary, that's me." 

 

I'm not bothered by it, per se...? I'm open at school about being aro/ace if it comes up, but I've never told anyone apart from close friends and therapists that I'm nonbinary? So it feels weird. But it was all casual and cool and so I guess that's good? 

[no-longer-in-use]

2 hours ago, Jinkx said:

I very casually came out to two classmates last night?  I guess I'd told one I was ace before, since they went, "You're ace, right?" and I said, "Among other things," and elaborated with, "Aro, ace, and nonbinary, that's me." 

 

I'm not bothered by it, per se...? I'm open at school about being aro/ace if it comes up, but I've never told anyone apart from close friends and therapists that I'm nonbinary? So it feels weird. But it was all casual and cool and so I guess that's good? 

I'm glad it went well, good for you for coming out!

[Guest]

@Jinkx Congrats! Casual and cool sounds good to me! Much better than weird and awkward!  

[Jinkx]

@Coddiwomple @Just Dani Thank you! 😊 It's cool to know that I'm getting more comfortable with it, that's for sure.

 

I'm seriously considering cutting my hair within the next two weeks. I've been getting recommendations for salons and looking at their reviews and since the concert tickets I was trying to get didn't happen, I would have the money to go and get it done. So now I just need to find an emotional support buddy. 😅

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, Jinkx said:

@Coddiwomple @Just Dani Thank you! 😊 It's cool to know that I'm getting more comfortable with it, that's for sure.

 

I'm seriously considering cutting my hair within the next two weeks. I've been getting recommendations for salons and looking at their reviews and since the concert tickets I was trying to get didn't happen, I would have the money to go and get it done. So now I just need to find an emotional support buddy. 😅

You're welcome. And good luck getting your hair cut.  

[OnionOffice]

3 hours ago, Jinkx said:

I very casually came out to two classmates last night?  I guess I'd told one I was ace before, since they went, "You're ace, right?" and I said, "Among other things," and elaborated with, "Aro, ace, and nonbinary, that's me." 

 

I'm not bothered by it, per se...? I'm open at school about being aro/ace if it comes up, but I've never told anyone apart from close friends and therapists that I'm nonbinary? So it feels weird. But it was all casual and cool and so I guess that's good? 

I'm glad it wasn't a huge deal! Last night was the first time I articulated I might be non-binary, ever, and it was just as you said, "weird but all casual and cool and so I guess that's good?" Slightly terrifying but progress is progress. 

 

Congrats again on becoming more comfortable with it, that's awesome! 

 

(I also cut my hair and 479372/10 would recommend 👍)

[Jinkx]

@OnionOffice Thank you! And I'm glad it went okay for your first time mentioning it! Progress for us both. 😄

 

I made an appointment at a hair salon for next Friday and I am lowkey terrified. 😅 No going back now—it's an incredibly bizarre to think that by this time next week I'll have virtually no hair. It's something I literally cannot imagination. So, we'll see how it goes. 😰

[Kimmie.]

I should really had been born female it gets more obvious every day. 

[no-longer-in-use]

@Kimmie. (hugs) I feel you.

[Kimmie.]

5 hours ago, Coddiwomple said:

@Kimmie. (hugs) I feel you.

Thank you.

[Kimmie.]

Okay this is tough to listen too. On the radio show i always listen to at work they have a guest that used to be on the Swedens womens national handball teams. Until last year when he came out as man. His story is so hard to listen too. 

[Ms. Carolynne]

On 3/5/2019 at 10:05 PM, Life With Masks said:

Why not dress the binder and the dress separately? Am I suggesting something impossible? (I have never dressed dresses)

 

This might seem like complete nonsense but truly I always perceived your avatar as a squid, now when I look closer it's actually a cat... what in the world?

Thanks for pointing this out, now I feel blind, but not alone.

 

I too thought it was a squid, but it's an upside down cat.

[Light02]

Hey, everyone, have y'all seen this survey specifically for non-binary people? https://www.smartsurvey.co.uk/s/gendercensus2019 It's super quick to fill out.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

7 hours ago, Light02 said:

Hey, everyone, have y'all seen this survey specifically for non-binary people? https://www.smartsurvey.co.uk/s/gendercensus2019 It's super quick to fill out.

Done

 

Hey peeps, how's everyone doing?

[no-longer-in-use]

Saw this article on an enby Discord server and thought some of you might appreciate it. It made me realize that forcing oneself into a label that doesn't fit is pointless.

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, Coddiwomple said:

Saw this article on an enby Discord server and thought some of you might appreciate it. It made me realize that forcing oneself into a label that doesn't fit is pointless.

Thanks for that link. I really needed to read that... 😢 

[no-longer-in-use]

52 minutes ago, Just Dani said:

Thanks for that link. I really needed to read that... 😢 

No problem! You okay?

[Guest]

38 minutes ago, Coddiwomple said:

No problem! You okay?

Yeah, I'm okay. It's just tough when your transgender/non-binary/whatever and you don't know what the next step is... 😟

 

 

[no-longer-in-use]

Just now, Just Dani said:

Yeah, I'm okay. It's just tough when your transgender/non-binary/whatever and you don't know what the next step is... 😟

 

 

I feel that. I know it isn't true, but sometimes I feel like everyone else has their s*** figured out entirely, whereas I'm still floundering in the ocean of gender/transitioning/coming out/related subjects.

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Coddiwomple said:

I feel that. I know it isn't true, but sometimes I feel like everyone else has their s*** figured out entirely, whereas I'm still floundering in the ocean of gender/transitioning/coming out/related subjects.

I'm definitely still struggling to figure out all of my sh*t... 

 

I don't regret deciding to not go for any surgery just yet. Considering how my body has been feeling lately, I don't think that it's up for it right now. In the mean time, I'm stuck in a body that I have no idea what to do with... 😟

[nerdperson777]

My hormone situation is still out of whack.  I'm currently a week late on my shots.  Last week I had finally got my insurance approval BUT I was out of refills.  Then I really don't know what happened with my re-authorization because the pharmacy said something about me be authorized for something else.  Anyway, it wasn't making sense to me.  I guess if I don't get it soon, I'm going to pay by cash again for the month.

 

But something besides my most hated dysphoria returned.

An annoying thing from pre-T was that my parts would "gunk up".  Then it dries up, causing my hair to clump up and even stick to the underwear, meaning I get pulled whenever I take it off to use the bathroom or shower.  So I've been getting that again.  I was having a fine time on T, not getting stuck.

 

Man, I better get the hormones soon, so I don't keep losing and regaining my effects.  I still don't know if the one I hate the most was caused by a lower dose or the fact that it was the end of my shot last time.

[Celyn: The Lutening]

@Coddiwomple Awesome article, so true even though it's hatd to remember this sometimes. 

@Anthracite_Impreza Great to see you!

[Jinkx]

A while back I put in a form to have my preferred name changed at my college, but I wonder if it won't take effect until the next semester. It seems like my birth name is still on rosters. My jazz teacher, who only ever calls me by my preferred name, used my birth name yesterday and I just stopped like a deer in headlights. I'm used to being addressed with my birth name in acting and singing classes, but never dance classes (I made the switch the semester I started taking dance). It just felt... awkward. 😶

 

I honestly don't hate or even dislike my birth name—I just really love my preferred name.

 

On another note, I am highkey terrified for my hair cut tomorrow. It's in less than ten hours. Trying not to freak out. 😓😓😓

[TrippleL]

On 3/2/2019 at 10:33 AM, baa*baa*grey*sheep said:

Hi all, I’m new to this thread. I started questioning my gender 10+ years ago when I was questioning my (a)sexuality. I don’t label myself as such but if I had to it would be panasexual. Now going back to gender, I’m afab & I feel a mixture of genders. Back when I was first questioning I came across the term androgyne & its definition felt true to me. I didn’t think more of it & then had a lot of health related stuff going on for me so didn’t even think about it. 

 

Recently though I’ve started asking myself again & I do still feel a mix of female and male but then I feel female or male & something else. I don’t feel it’s genderless but I don’t know what it is. I feel like I need a word to describe it for myself but I don’t know what. 

 

Thanks for reading 🙂

Welcome to this thread and sorry for the delayed reply (it’s been a busy few weeks)! 🙂

 

I can relate to this. I settled on identifying as a biromantic asexual and then started questioning my gender.

 

At first I thought I might be agender, but it didn’t quite fit. Neither did non-binary. I then stumbled across androgyne (on AVEN) and felt the same rush of emotion I felt when I discovered a label for my sexual orientation! 🙂

 

I definitely feel I have a gender, it’s just that it’s a mix of male and female or somewhere between a man and a woman. In my case I am definitely more male or more female in certain situations, but I don’t feel my gender fluctuates as such.

 

Interestingly, I have since embraced the term non-binary. I first adopted it from a technical point of view (feeling like neither just a man nor a woman is by definition non-binary), I have since settled on using it as my go-to term. The very few people I’ve come out about my gender to I’ve used the term non-binary. I’m saving the more accurate term androgyne for online and offline discussions with anyone more clued up on gender 🙂

[TrippleL]

4 minutes ago, Jinkx said:

A while back I put in a form to have my preferred name changed at my college, but I wonder if it won't take effect until the next semester. It seems like my birth name is still on rosters. My jazz teacher, who only ever calls me by my preferred name, used my birth name yesterday and I just stopped like a deer in headlights. I'm used to being addressed with my birth name in acting and singing classes, but never dance classes (I made the switch the semester I started taking dance). It just felt... awkward. 😶

 

I honestly don't hate or even dislike my birth name—I just really love my preferred name.

 

On another note, I am highkey terrified for my hair cut tomorrow. It's in less than ten hours. Trying not to freak out. 😓😓😓

Good luck and remember we’re here for you for moral support *HUGS* 🙂

[Jinkx]

1 minute ago, TrippleL said:

Good luck and remember we’re here for you for moral support *HUGS* 🙂

Thank you! I think I'm going to go to bed now so I can stop freaking out. 😅 I suppose I'll post tomorrow about how it goes!