Light02 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 19 hours ago, Coddiwomple said: Well that's horrible. I'm sorry It's weird that you say that because me and all of the Bulgarian queer people I know are so used to being harassed in various ways (being asked inappropriate questions, being yelled at, people being rude to you, laughing at you, staring at you, poking your chest, being threatened, etc.) that we don't even care anymore. We just share stories with each other, make jokes about it and laugh. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 I get it, you shouldn't have ti get used to it though because it's horrible. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 On 3/15/2019 at 2:30 PM, Jinkx said: I honestly think it will be nice, seeing as I live in Southern California and it's starting to warm up again. ☺️ Just have to remember more sunscreen now. I'm in Northern yet the weather change is screwing with my allergies so hard. I have a bad cough right now too. Technically my cough started light a month ago but the past week has been me hacking and my throat is dying. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jinkx Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 8 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said: I'm in Northern yet the weather change is screwing with my allergies so hard. I have a bad cough right now too. Technically my cough started light a month ago but the past week has been me hacking and my throat is dying. My skin is what's feeling the effects of the weather changes down here. Getting warmer and it's been very dry, and my poor skin is already dry to begin with. Especially my face. 😣 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 11 hours ago, Light02 said: It's weird that you say that because me and all of the Bulgarian queer people I know are so used to being harassed in various ways (being asked inappropriate questions, being yelled at, people being rude to you, laughing at you, staring at you, poking your chest, being threatened, etc.) that we don't even care anymore. We just share stories with each other, make jokes about it and laugh. I'm with Celyn, it's not right that you've gotten used to it. If making jokes about it works as a coping mechanism though, I say go for it. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 On Sunday, March 17, 2019 at 11:44 AM, Celyn said: Huh I've been thinking about why I didn't have the "Damn that's sexual assult" reaction to what happened to @Light02's friend and I realised that I'd been putting myself in their shoes. And if someone did that to me, because my gender hovers around the "guy" region, and I would usually be binding or wearing sports bra+ thick jumpers; my reaction would be what you'd get if you poked any guy in the chest. Rude, but not sexual because there's nothing of sexual significance there (or at least I do an OK job at convincing myself there's nothing there). Well that was an unexpected insight into my body image and gender. Personally my feelings change depending on the situation. Most of the time my brain doesn't react to my body being sexualized as female. However, in certain events it does. Even though I know my physique isn't quite the way it should be, I'm still aware that my chest is considered sexual. An AMABs chest can also be sexualized, but in this society it's not to the same degree of course. It's still rude as fk to touch anyone without consent, but sense the woman was throwing the subject of gender/sex into the equation, it was even worse. Sexual assault doesn't just mean touching sexualized areas without consent. You can grab someone around the waist while questioning their sex/gender and that's still sexual assault. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jinkx Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 Some days I feel like I would really like a binder, but it is not feasible at all for me to wear one. I dance four days a week and do physical stuff at work the other three days so I can't afford to lock down on my lungs/ribcage like that. I've also read that it can affect the outcome of top surgery, and I want the best results possible whenever I get it done. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 11 hours ago, Jinkx said: Some days I feel like I would really like a binder, but it is not feasible at all for me to wear one. I dance four days a week and do physical stuff at work the other three days so I can't afford to lock down on my lungs/ribcage like that. I've also read that it can affect the outcome of top surgery, and I want the best results possible whenever I get it done. Binding will only affect you negatively if you do it improperly, otherwise it's fine. I get binders from GC2B. They're comfortable and not horribly restricting. My ribs/lungs/chest haven't sustained any damage and I've been binding for about 3 years wearing this particular brand. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 15 hours ago, Jinkx said: Some days I feel like I would really like a binder, but it is not feasible at all for me to wear one. I dance four days a week and do physical stuff at work the other three days so I can't afford to lock down on my lungs/ribcage like that. I've also read that it can affect the outcome of top surgery, and I want the best results possible whenever I get it done. I personally had no problems binding while exercising. I prefer to not bind anymore so I'll just get occasionally dysphoric if I see them through my shirts. When I was binding, I was exercising 4-6 days out of the week. Then I'd fall asleep while still wearing it. As Ace of Hearts said, you just need to bind properly. I used Underworks binders because I felt that it gave me more room. GC2B binders made me completely flat. My belly came out more than my chest. Underworks were a little looser for me so I looked like I had pecs instead. Also GC2B made my sides itchy for some reason. No one else I know had this. But I'm small chested enough to be eligible for keyhole incision so I felt that I could give up a little bit of flatness for breathing room. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 7 hours ago, AceOfHearts_85 said: Binding will only affect you negatively if you do it improperly, otherwise it's fine. I get binders from GC2B. They're comfortable and not horribly restricting. My ribs/lungs/chest haven't sustained any damage and I've been binding for about 3 years wearing this particular brand. Binding is actually risky even if you follow all of the common safety things. There are people who bind as safely as possible and still get injured. (I'm not saying nobody should bind because of this, but everyone considering/currently binding should be aware of the risk.) 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 1 hour ago, Coddiwomple said: Binding is actually risky even if you follow all of the common safety things. There are people who bind as safely as possible and still get injured. (I'm not saying nobody should bind because of this, but everyone considering/currently binding should be aware of the risk.) Not sure how someone could get injured if they follow the safety procedures, unless they have some sort of physical illness. I mean, you shouldn't be binding if you have pneumonia or a fragile bone disorder etc., but other than that why would there be any risk involved? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 1 hour ago, AceOfHearts_85 said: Not sure how someone could get injured if they follow the safety procedures, unless they have some sort of physical illness. I mean, you shouldn't be binding if you have pneumonia or a fragile bone disorder etc., but other than that why would there be any risk involved? It does makes things tighter and closer to the body. Things can always happen while following safety procedures so while I agree it should be safe, we can't really say there's no risk. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 21 hours ago, nerdperson777 said: It does makes things tighter and closer to the body. Things can always happen while following safety procedures so while I agree it should be safe, we can't really say there's no risk. Well if that's the case everyone wearing super skinny jeans should beware the risk of injury then. LOL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 1 hour ago, AceOfHearts_85 said: Well if that's the case everyone wearing super skinny jeans should beware the risk of injury then. LOL Well, it is known within the community that binding can be dangerous. It isn't well known that people can hurt themselves with skinny jeans. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jinkx Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 This post is one of the things I have looked at in regards to binding safety/risk. I am not at a point where my dysphoria is so intense that I need to bind, so while I sometimes want to, it's something I will refrain from. Not to mention, being someone who likes to sing, decreasing my lung capacity is not something I will risk. 😅 That's just me. ☺️ Also I'm just really bad with restrictive stuff in general, meep. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 On 3/20/2019 at 5:48 PM, AceOfHearts_85 said: Not sure how someone could get injured if they follow the safety procedures, unless they have some sort of physical illness. I mean, you shouldn't be binding if you have pneumonia or a fragile bone disorder etc., but other than that why would there be any risk involved? It compresses everything in the area, including your lungs and ribs, not just your chest. I'm not a doctor, so I don't know exactly the science behind it, but I do know that there is always some level of risk involved with binding. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 2 hours ago, Coddiwomple said: It compresses everything in the area, including your lungs and ribs, not just your chest. I'm not a doctor, so I don't know exactly the science behind it, but I do know that there is always some level of risk involved with binding. I've only heard of people getting into trouble when they wear a binder that's too small, so I have to disagree that binding altogether is risky. Cracking ribs and passing out from being far too restricted is definitely possible if you make a conscious decision to ignore safety rules. Other than that I haven't heard any complaints besides certain materials being rough or itchy against the skin, which isn't really dangerous. In all honesty, it appears people are saying binding is risky because so many are making unwise choices out of desperation to conceal their chest and posting their plight on social media. If you get the proper size no one should have an issue. Speaking from personal experience, I haven't had one mishap with my breathing or my ribs, and I have asthma. If you really think about it, a corset would be a true danger. Now THAT is something that'll put you in the hospital. LOL 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 5 hours ago, nerdperson777 said: Well, it is known within the community that binding can be dangerous. It isn't well known that people can hurt themselves with skinny jeans. That's likely because many people who bind are making unwise decisions by choosing to wear a binder that's far too small for them and end up injuring themselves. Then they post it on social media. If people suddenly started buying skinny jeans that were several sizes too small that cut off their circulation I bet more people would know about it. Improper use of anything is going to cause problems. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 If you're worried about the dangers, get a size up. That way you get a reduced chest but with less constricting. On that subject, I need a smaller one now. I've lost weight since I bought it and it's getting a bit too easy to get on. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 22 hours ago, AceOfHearts_85 said: I've only heard of people getting into trouble when they wear a binder that's too small, so I have to disagree that binding altogether is risky. Cracking ribs and passing out from being far too restricted is definitely possible if you make a conscious decision to ignore safety rules. Other than that I haven't heard any complaints besides certain materials being rough or itchy against the skin, which isn't really dangerous. In all honesty, it appears people are saying binding is risky because so many are making unwise choices out of desperation to conceal their chest and posting their plight on social media. If you get the proper size no one should have an issue. Speaking from personal experience, I haven't had one mishap with my breathing or my ribs, and I have asthma. If you really think about it, a corset would be a true danger. Now THAT is something that'll put you in the hospital. LOL I'm not a doctor so I can't say for sure. All I will say is that everyone should exercise caution with binding. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 Grey's Anatomy had a nonbinary patient on the last episode. They insisted on "they/them" rather than "she/her". Dr. Webber (a rather old character) grumbled about the pronouns, but the other doctors put him in his place and insisted that he not misgener them. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 30 minutes ago, Kelly said: Grey's Anatomy had a nonbinary patient on the last episode. They insisted on "they/them" rather than "she/her". Dr. Webber (a rather old character) grumbled about the pronouns, but the other doctors put him in his place and insisted that he not misgener them. Cool! I don't watch Grey's Anatomy, but that's awesome! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 3 hours ago, Kelly said: Grey's Anatomy had a nonbinary patient on the last episode. They insisted on "they/them" rather than "she/her". Dr. Webber (a rather old character) grumbled about the pronouns, but the other doctors put him in his place and insisted that he not misgener them. That's awesome! I know many cis people who watch that show. Glad they are getting some exposure to NBs. 👍 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rosendust Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 I am really getting tired of my pronouns not being respected, and I just want to be left on my own for an extended period of time(to work on myself(gender stuff included and just feel more confident in myself), is that to much to ask? 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 I'm kind of wondering here, for those who present as the "opposite" binary. At my main job, I've been stealth for a long time now. I've just passed my 2 year mark of working there. Because I finally had a job, I had enough money to go get HRT. So my co-workers did notice my voice getting deeper on the job, asking if I was sick, but I just played it off as nothing unusual. Sometimes I make comments that talk about gender differences, but I act like I don't really know "the other sex". I guess I'm trying to act cis, by feigning lack of knowledge? One time there was a conversation about unwashed hair and I said that I heard that girls put up their hair in a bun when they've missed a wash. (Normally I wouldn't gender things because I know not to.) I didn't get it because that's just a itchy bundle, and I wouldn't want that on my head because I'd keep scratching it. So one girl said a comment like "I'm doing that right now" even though she wasn't overdue for a wash or had her hair in a bun. Then today she said she found an interesting article about how the menstrual cycle affects eating habits. (She's a dietitian so totally work-relevant.) I just contributed by saying that when I lived with my friend, she bought a lot of pastry making stuff during that time, like cake mix and cookie stuff. I'm sure my co-workers wouldn't care that I'm trans and I've probably dropped some hints here and there, considering that one ex-coworker figured me out because her aunt's trans and I knew way too much about bottom surgeries, despite probably not going to get any of those surgeries, haha. (But if the one I hate the most doesn't stop with my HRT dosage, I may need a hysterectomy.) So the way I feel about this is that, I sound distant to these female co-workers even though I know how a period is like, since I've had them before, even if I didn't have life-crushing pain from them like some can have. I don't think anyone feels bad about having boobs here so there's probably nothing to relate to there. I just got the loud co-worker who is super femme and does have a pretty big size, maybe like C's. I'm sure she really loves her boobs. It's like cis(het) to the max, the way she presents herself. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rosendust Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 I am totally looking forward to next weekend, but totally dreading it as well because I'll be stuck in dresses the entire weekend because I didn't exactly plan my cosplays out very well. Sigh. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 12 hours ago, Rosendust said: I am totally looking forward to next weekend, but totally dreading it as well because I'll be stuck in dresses the entire weekend because I didn't exactly plan my cosplays out very well. Sigh. Which convention are you going to? I think some Boston thing is around this time? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TrippleL Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 I’ve started a thread on androgynes as I thought there weren’t many of us around. Can you or anyone you know on AVEN relate to this gender? 🙂 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rosendust Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 On 3/28/2019 at 2:56 AM, nerdperson777 said: Which convention are you going to? I think some Boston thing is around this time? I live in the south, so our convention season always starts around this time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TrippleL Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 Is a non-binary person technically trans? When I first identified as NB I did not consider myself trans, as I felt I fundamentally was NB, I wasn’t trans from something else, if that makes sense. AVEN defines transgender as one’s sex and gender not being aligned (is that correct?) so I consider myself “technically transgender”. I’ve seen posts arguing for and against, so I’m curious what you all think 🙂 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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