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Just now, TrippleL said:

I like the idea of the speed of waxing... not sure about the pain, especially in more sensitive areas! 🙂

Yes, I have heard it is quite painful. I stopped bothering with hair removal altogether myself and it makes my life a lot easier, although I understand why you would want to remove your body hair.

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Celyn: The Lutening
10 minutes ago, TrippleL said:

I like the idea of the speed of waxing... not sure about the pain, especially in more sensitive areas! 🙂

It is very painful indeed. Like @Coddiwomple, I don't because a) it hurts and b) I have sensitive skin and it turns my legs into scaly fish. 

So I'm not super experienced in it but there's also creams and sugaring (which is supposed to be less painful and moee effective than waxing but has to be done by a beautician).

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2 minutes ago, Celyn said:

It is very painful indeed. Like @Coddiwomple, I don't because a) it hurts and b) I have sensitive skin and it turns my legs into scaly fish. 

So I'm not super experienced in it but there's also creams and sugaring (which is supposed to be less painful and moee effective than waxing but has to be done by a beautician).

I also have very sensitive skin, which is why I’ve stuck with shaving, but I’d like to find something that lasts a bit longer 🙂

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Do you have any idea how common it this that "cis" people dating trans people turn out later to be trans/non-binary themselves? It is like I have the impression that trans/enby people a drawn together relationship wise and I am probably one of these "cis" people.

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5 minutes ago, Bloc said:

Do you have any idea how common it this that "cis" people dating trans people turn out later to be trans/non-binary themselves? It is like I have the impression that trans/enby people a drawn together relationship wise and I am probably one of these "cis" people.

No idea how common this is, but I’ve certainly stumbled across several people talking about exactly that on AVEN.

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nerdperson777
On 2/12/2019 at 10:34 PM, TrippleL said:

...but for now I’ll work on my biologically male body, which I like overall, apart from a few things that set me off. One of those things is body hair. Can anyone recommend a better way of removing body hair than shaving? I’d happily have zero hair apart from my head and forearms (where I find a bit of hair attractive, for some crazy reason! 🙂)

I have an idea that may not really be that easy.  I know someone who identifies as a eunuch and takes only the cypro medication.  Of course, this would change your hormone levels.  To my understanding, this does not add estrogen, just takes away testosterone.

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Is it weird that I mostly don't identify as male except when I'm in a romantic relationship? I'm not in one currently but even imagining it I know that if I'm with someone I want them to see me as their boyfriend. If it's a guy I see us as two guys in a gay relationship, if it's a girl, I'm "the guy in the relationship", literally. It's like my gender actually changes in this very specific situation. Now, if I was in a long-term relationship I wouldn't id as a trans guy because if I'm all alone (like at work or whatever) I'd still be non-binary but when I'm with my partner, I'd be male. I've never heard of anyone else who feels similarly, am I just weird?

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1 minute ago, Light02 said:

Is it weird that I mostly don't identify as male except when I'm in a romantic relationship? I'm not in one currently but even imagining it I know that if I'm with someone I want them to see me as their boyfriend. If it's a guy I see us as two guys in a gay relationship, if it's a girl, I'm "the guy in the relationship", literally. It's like my gender actually changes in this very specific situation. Now, if I was in a long-term relationship I wouldn't id as a trans guy because if I'm all alone (like at work or whatever) I'd still be non-binary but when I'm with my partner, I'd be male. I've never heard of anyone else who feels similarly, am I just weird?

I’ve given thought to this recently too 🙂

 

I have no amazing answers but here’s where I got to:

 

I’m biologically male in a long-term relationship with a woman and I’m the guy in the relationship.

 

I’m biromantic, but with a 99%/1% preference for women; I always thought I’d want to be the guy in the relationship whether with men or women, but for the first time ever I saw myself being nominally the female in the relationship when I last had a crush on a guy. This may be because I’ve always had crushes on guys that are more feminine than me, up to the last one.

 

So I wonder; just as I’m a “biromantic asexual with a preference for women”, am I also a “non-binary person with a preference for being the guy in a relationship”?

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3 hours ago, Light02 said:

Is it weird that I mostly don't identify as male except when I'm in a romantic relationship? I'm not in one currently but even imagining it I know that if I'm with someone I want them to see me as their boyfriend. If it's a guy I see us as two guys in a gay relationship, if it's a girl, I'm "the guy in the relationship", literally. It's like my gender actually changes in this very specific situation. Now, if I was in a long-term relationship I wouldn't id as a trans guy because if I'm all alone (like at work or whatever) I'd still be non-binary but when I'm with my partner, I'd be male. I've never heard of anyone else who feels similarly, am I just weird?

I don't really relate (I feel kind of male all the time, not just when I'm in a relationship), but that doesn't seem too weird to me.

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3 hours ago, Light02 said:

Is it weird that I mostly don't identify as male except when I'm in a romantic relationship? I'm not in one currently but even imagining it I know that if I'm with someone I want them to see me as their boyfriend. If it's a guy I see us as two guys in a gay relationship, if it's a girl, I'm "the guy in the relationship", literally. It's like my gender actually changes in this very specific situation. Now, if I was in a long-term relationship I wouldn't id as a trans guy because if I'm all alone (like at work or whatever) I'd still be non-binary but when I'm with my partner, I'd be male. I've never heard of anyone else who feels similarly, am I just weird?

For me it is that I don't want to be seen by my partners as male. The more the more intimate the situation is. This is what lead me to the conclusion that I am probably trans/non-binary. Outside of a relationship I would say neither male nor female are really correct, but also neither is wrong. Where in a relationship being male is wrong. It is okay if they describe me as boyfriend, but a non-gendered term would be better, which is difficult in German. What is weird is that I am less comfortable with being the boyfriend with a female leaning partner than with a male leaning partner. I relate how this seems weird, but I am also figuring my gender out. Am I mostly agender or more trans feminine? And if the latter would I want any medical transition steps?

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1 minute ago, Bloc said:

The more the more intimate the situation is.

This actually makes a lot of sense, that's probably what it is. But also, I hate it when strangers look at me and call me "she" but close friends who respect my real gender identity doing it is fine, lol.

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Celyn: The Lutening

@Light02 Yeah, I can relate to that, particularly if my partner is male - I don't want anyone to think I'm straight!

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On 2/14/2019 at 2:36 PM, Bloc said:

Do you have any idea how common it this that "cis" people dating trans people turn out later to be trans/non-binary themselves? It is like I have the impression that trans/enby people a drawn together relationship wise and I am probably one of these "cis" people.

Me and my GF basically :lol: 

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6 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

Me and my GF basically :lol: 

How long have you been together?  

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Just now, Kimmie. said:

How long have you been together?  

A year and some months. 

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23 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

A year and some months. 

Ah nice congrats on the late one year anniversary. 

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Shampoo commercials makes me so jealous, why don't i look like that!?

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1 hour ago, Kimmie. said:

Shampoo commercials makes me so jealous, why don't i look like that!?

No shampoo in the world can help sometimes I'm afraid...
Hair is such an uncooperative thing...

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8 minutes ago, StomachGod said:

No shampoo in the world can help sometimes I'm afraid...
Hair is such an uncooperative thing...

Yeah that is true, but I was more thinking of that they very often have extremely beautiful women in them and I wish I looked like them.

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2 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

Yeah that is true, but I was more thinking of that they very often have extremely beautiful women in them and I wish I looked like them.

Oh... Shampoo can't help you with that either... the adverts lie! D=<
But really, everyone has their own way to be beautiful 😃 
So don't stress too much k?

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nerdperson777
On 2/15/2019 at 6:29 AM, Light02 said:

Is it weird that I mostly don't identify as male except when I'm in a romantic relationship? I'm not in one currently but even imagining it I know that if I'm with someone I want them to see me as their boyfriend. If it's a guy I see us as two guys in a gay relationship, if it's a girl, I'm "the guy in the relationship", literally. It's like my gender actually changes in this very specific situation. Now, if I was in a long-term relationship I wouldn't id as a trans guy because if I'm all alone (like at work or whatever) I'd still be non-binary but when I'm with my partner, I'd be male. I've never heard of anyone else who feels similarly, am I just weird?

My roommate is like that but "the other way".  They are a non-binary lesbian, AFAB.  They told me that the only person who should know they have boobs is the person they sleep with.  So I take that to be they consider themselves female only in bed.

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There’s nothing wrong with me, it’s just the way I’m wired

 

I don’t experience sexual attraction.

 

I can love both men and women.

 

I don’t relate to being a man or a woman.

 

But there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s just the way I’m wired.

 

I don’t like my hips, hands or body hair, but I wouldn’t want to change them.

 

I don’t like football, male changing rooms or male restrooms.

 

But there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s just the way I’m wired.

 

I don’t like physical contact, except with someone I love.

 

I don’t like repetitive physical contact, even if it’s slight.

 

I don’t like repetitive noises, they make me want to cry.

 

But there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s just the way I’m wired.

 

I don’t like public events, public speaking or crowded trains.

 

I don’t like loud noises, bright lights or negative emotions.

 

But there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s just the way I’m wired.

 

I don’t like the person you want me to be, that person is not me.

 

I am;

 

Happy

In love

Asexual

Non-binary

A synesthete

A highly sensitive person

A human being.

 

There’s nothing wrong with me, this is who I am.

 

TrippleL

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1 minute ago, Just Dani said:

@TrippleL 👏👏👏 

 

Great poem! 😃 

 

I've never liked or understood gendered changing rooms and washrooms. Horrible things that just scream "tease me and beat the crap out of me 'cause I'm different than you". 😢

Thank you 😊

 

It started as a sort of “Non-Binary Asexual Manifesto” and somehow morphed into a poem (my first ever).

 

I look forward to the day gender-neutral washrooms are normal!

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1 hour ago, TrippleL said:

Thank you 😊

 

It started as a sort of “Non-Binary Asexual Manifesto” and somehow morphed into a poem (my first ever).

 

I look forward to the day gender-neutral washrooms are normal!

You're welcome. 😊 

 

Don't worry. They're coming! Even to this small city! And it's always nice when the local gyms/swimming pools let you use their so-called "family" changerooms. Nothing better than a private stall that locks and comes with a personal shower! 😃

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In two days my roommate's girlfriend is coming to live with us for about a month. She's German and the three of us will be speaking in English to each other and they both agreed to use they/them pronouns for me in English. I'm so happy, I can't wait 😊. My roommate's kind of nervous, though, I think they're having trouble with the conjugation, so they keep telling me "I'm sorry if I mess up and call you "she" accidentally, I promise it's not because I see you as a girl." I actually think it's really sweet that they care so much about getting it right, I told them I wouldn't mind if they mess up for a while before they get used to it. I have great friends ❤️.

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24 minutes ago, Light02 said:

In two days my roommate's girlfriend is coming to live with us for about a month. She's German and the three of us will be speaking in English to each other and they both agreed to use they/them pronouns for me in English. I'm so happy, I can't wait 😊. My roommate's kind of nervous, though, I think they're having trouble with the conjugation, so they keep telling me "I'm sorry if I mess up and call you "she" accidentally, I promise it's not because I see you as a girl." I actually think it's really sweet that they care so much about getting it right, I told them I wouldn't mind if they mess up for a while before they get used to it. I have great friends ❤️.

That's awesome! Your friends sound very cool :D

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nerdperson777
15 hours ago, TrippleL said:

I look forward to the day gender-neutral washrooms are normal!

I'm reminded of when my university actually changed some of the gendered restrooms to neutral.  I liked saying that the bathrooms were neutralized.  But before I graduated, they got re-gendered.

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Fluffy Femme Guy
16 hours ago, Just Dani said:

I've never liked or understood gendered changing rooms and washrooms. Horrible things that just scream "tease me and beat the crap out of me 'cause I'm different than you". 😢

I hear you. I used to get beat up in the locker rooms in middle school.
I had no inkling about my asexuality or gender, but the other boys probably saw me as soft and weak. Easy prey.
It didn't help that I was nervous about partially undressing with others around.

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