Emery. Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Calligraphette_Coe said: It's so painful to try to do your job when you hear co-workers do the 'special snowflake' shitshow and mock transpeople endlessly Oh no... I know that one. Where I live there is a slang phrase for that: square heads. It's simple assholery IMO. Like... they get so out of touch with feelings, any feelings, that any "irrational" behaviour deserves mockery... unless this is their own irrational behaviour, like spending a fortune on an expensive car or another snobbish good just to show they have the money to waste on that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 But you know what, I think I'm stopping to have issues with being transgender? Self-understanding, you know... And it really helps to... just talk about it IRL an awful lot Well, not an awful lot, but just talk about that. If I want to, then let it be. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 8 hours ago, nerdperson777 said: I think :)(: means the vial. But I think my idea of leaving in the bathroom while showering is the safest. Well, my bathroom has the shower so it's basically the same room. Put your vial near where you shower so the heat can warm it up. Tie the vial to my wrist? It’s too small and I’d have nothing to tie it with. I’d still be afraid it might fall, so I currently keep it on the sink. And yeah, I generally do shower before injecting so I make sure I’m extra clean. But I could put it closer so it could warm up more. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SeeYa Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 9 hours ago, Kimmie. said: I like your attitude Ahahaha, it's exciting stuff ya know? I don't know if I will ever reach that stage, but seeing other people get there (or nearly there) makes me happy =D 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The-world-is-quiet-here Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I’ve been identifying less with being genderfluid. Maybe I’m just nonbinary. But I’m sure as soon as I swear off being genderfluid, I’ll get some gender shift again, and my mind will be like “ha, I showed you!” in other news, my grandma was showing me a furniture/home decor catalog the other night, and she pointed out like six different shades of pink she thought I would like. Very subtle. Her: don’t you love this color?! me: pink.... isn’t my favorite 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Well that's awkward. I was in the middle of quoting things and got distracted yesterday. So I never actually said previously that I just put the vial in the bathroom and I thought people were ignoring my great idea. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Calligraphette_Coe Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 11 hours ago, Emery. said: Oh no... I know that one. Where I live there is a slang phrase for that: square heads. It's simple assholery IMO. Like... they get so out of touch with feelings, any feelings, that any "irrational" behaviour deserves mockery... unless this is their own irrational behaviour, like spending a fortune on an expensive car or another snobbish good just to show they have the money to waste on that. I know, I especially like it when they come to _me_ to borrow money or learn new tricks of the trade. I have other names for The Square Heads that I can't say here 'cause i'd get in SOOOO much trouble! :::::hairflip:::::: 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Neutral nerd Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 On 3/20/2018 at 5:40 AM, Emery. said: I encountered this notion in psychotherapy that "you should be with others". But what if others mock you? What if "others" are not decent or clever human beings? Stay with them regardless? Even if they are toxic? Is that really good for mental health? Don't think so. Loneliness is a pain, but I think toxic people are worse. Or comaparably bad. We should really ask the question who those others are. The way I think of it is that we use interactions with others to gain more variety than would be possible in just one isolated person. Toxic people don't make any attempt to see things from a different perspective, just trying to force their views on others. Communication is give and take; they won't give, just ignore them. AVEN is here as a sanctuary from self-righteous airbags, after all! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 1 hour ago, Neutral nerd said: The way I think of it is that we use interactions with others to gain more variety than would be possible in just one isolated person. Toxic people don't make any attempt to see things from a different perspective, just trying to force their views on others. Communication is give and take; they won't give, just ignore them. AVEN is here as a sanctuary from self-righteous airbags, after all! I'm imagining an ace retreat, I wonder where. Are we on a floating island in the sky in the shape of an ice cream sundae? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Neutral nerd Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 7 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said: I'm imagining an ace retreat, I wonder where. Are we on a floating island in the sky in the shape of an ice cream sundae? Earth isn't flat, it is actually a cake! Everyone else lives on the surface but we're in secret hidden tunnels 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Carolynne Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 9 hours ago, Neutral nerd said: Earth isn't flat, it is actually a cake! Everyone else lives on the surface but we're in secret hidden tunnels The universe itself is shaped much like a cake, but don't expect the cosmologists to concur, they don't want this getting out! If anyone asks, you didn't hear it from me. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Neutral nerd Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 The Cake Conspiracy? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rosendust Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I wish I wasn't struggling with Dysphoria right now. I feel like I may slip and let it be known, but I know I still can't risk that. Regards, Rosendust Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Damn you dysphoria. Damn you flu. The combination of those two is a killer. I can't act on feeling like a guy because I'm stuck in bed. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 *Offers hugs to @Rosendust and @Emery.* 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 *more hugs for @Rosendust & @Emery. * It's hard and it sucks so much. For me, sometimes it's even worse depending on what people would say. It's easier said than done, but do you happen to have any coping mechanisms that may help it suck less? For me, it's watching YouTube/Netflix or playing video games. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 (edited) Coping mechanisms - not really. I just do whatever I feel like doing. My gender moods usually crystallise into something more concrete and have a strong connection to my personality, which I actually suspect to be the real cause. That my personality got censored to the girl mode but those supposedly masculine behaviours are important for me to feel happy and now I have to learn myself anew. And normal wants have to emerge in such a strange way. Edit: I just never... disconnect from my feelings in such a way. If I disconnect, I let them be and just don't identify with them. Like in this anxiety guide I posted. However painful it gets, I hold on. Even if it seems like the world is ending and I'm dying... Have you ever had such feelings? This sort of... profound sense of emptiness and... cold? Like the heating broke and the god of cosmic vacuum blowed at me like a dementor sucking my soul out and my very being was evaporating. This is a really strange feeling. It's beyond 'bad' and 'uncomfortable', it's a straight up brain consuming zombie Edited March 23, 2018 by Emery. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rosendust Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 As for me, I find that cleaning my fountain pens cathartic & writing in general (even though overcleaning is highly discouraged), and video games(Overwatch, specifically) Regards, Rosendust 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 my coping mechanism is apathy and music 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Mistake post, I'm sorry. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I am not sure if this has been mentioned, but the new season of Roseanne has a gender nonconforming character, Mark. https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/news/a47592/roseanne-reboot-cast-ames-mcnamara/ One of those new faces will be Roseanne's gender nonconforming grandson Mark, played by actor Ames McNamara. Producers say that this means Mark (who is Darlene and David's son) wears clothing that is traditionally feminine, but he is not transgender, transitioning or gay. 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 I just passed my 2nd opinion for gender dysphoria. WIthin 20 minutes he dropped down the pen on the table... He sat down there wiping tears away and was like. "I know enough now... no need to continue"... I was there fully dressed, walked out my door to my car, drove to my city center. No make up though, I don't have any, I don't like it that much either... And I'm lucky I don't have beard shadow anymore. So, meh :P... Wig on, my newly arrived breast forms (OMG these are wow,yay!... I should've gotten these 6 years ago when I was looking for these already!).. I also went out with my sister to buy clothes the other day, >_<, I'm glad I got to be the pack mule while walking around the girls area... I must've looked out of place! :S... We got a few clothes... So, 4 weeks waiting for me to start HRT xD... yaayyy! Does anyone else know how to get family members to call you by your name and pronouns, while you're presenting yourself? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 OMG @Phoenix the II i am so happy for you! Only 4 weeks left!! That is awesome!! And yay for clothes shopping!! I am so proud of you (i think that is the right word i am looking for) you have come so far!! You are so strong and brave your amazing girl you!! I don't know how fix that problem do sorry 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 2 hours ago, Kimmie. said: OMG @Phoenix the II i am so happy for you! Only 4 weeks left!! That is awesome!! Your turn Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Wow, congrats @Phoenix the II! Those four weeks will be here before you know it. 3 hours ago, Phoenix the II said: Does anyone else know how to get family members to call you by your name and pronouns, while you're presenting yourself? Ultimately, the people in your life are going to need to make the active effort to get the switch, but in the early stages, they might not even hear themselves the wrong name/pronouns unless someone corrects them. Persistence is the key. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 1 minute ago, Mezzo Forte said: Ultimately, the people in your life are going to need to make the active effort to get the switch, but in the early stages, they might not even hear themselves the wrong name/pronouns unless someone corrects them. Persistence is the key. Thanks xD, Uh yea, I noticed that they weren't even aware of them saying it.. I corrected them I'll keep doing so. I vented too to them, about how it comes over to me. And I understand them too. It's going to take a while. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 1 minute ago, Phoenix the II said: Thanks xD, Uh yea, I noticed that they weren't even aware of them saying it.. I corrected them I'll keep doing so. I vented too to them, about how it comes over to me. And I understand them too. It's going to take a while. It is a process, but they will eventually get it. My friends and family took a matter of months to start really getting consistent. What helps is when everyone learns to correct each other. I still remember how my friends heckled anyone who messed up the name/pronouns when I was still in school, and I know that my family would correct each other even when I wasn't in their company. Everything is just going to be a matter of time from here on out. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 1 hour ago, Phoenix the II said: Your turn We will see. Again i am not sure if it is for me. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 22 hours ago, Kelly said: I am not sure if this has been mentioned, but the new season of Roseanne has a gender nonconforming character, Mark. https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/news/a47592/roseanne-reboot-cast-ames-mcnamara/ One of those new faces will be Roseanne's gender nonconforming grandson Mark, played by actor Ames McNamara. Producers say that this means Mark (who is Darlene and David's son) wears clothing that is traditionally feminine, but he is not transgender, transitioning or gay. I am a bit confused I thought gender nonconformiting was in transgender??? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 1 hour ago, :)(: said: I am a bit confused I thought gender nonconformiting was in transgender??? It can cross over obviously, but there are gender non conforming cis people too. I would think cis drag queens already count as such but some people are only concerned with how peoples' perceptions stop them from presenting how they want, without caring about the identity part. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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