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Just now, ChillaKilla said:

Ah, I love the smell of the gender forum being called an “echo chamber” in the evening :rolleyes: 

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Just now, :)(: said:

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Just being a petty vagueposter, don’t mind me :P But it does happen pretty often, because we don’t permit people to crit- ahem, objectively discuss trans identities :rolleyes: 

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Ugh, brothers. Some can be great; some can be, um, not so great (to put it mildly!). :( 

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20 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

Just being a petty vagueposter, don’t mind me :P But it does happen pretty often, because we don’t permit people to crit- ahem, objectively discuss trans identities :rolleyes: 

I’m lost. I must have missed something in my inactivity. Would you be able to PM me? I’m curious.

 

@999papercranes I grew up as an only child, so I can’t really relate to those growing up with siblings. Is there anyone in your family that you trust and could support you if you do or don’t come out to your brother?

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My gender confusion hasn't been bothering me as much lately. Mostly because other problems have come up and I'm trying to figure them out. But idk. Anxiety is a bitch and I said stupid things when I wasn't sober and I regret it. I'm extremely afraid. I need to learn how to act like nothing's awkward. How do I act like nothing weird was said? My anxiety is really acting up and I need to control it. I don't want to lose a good friend over my stupidity.

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butterflydreams
16 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

Ah, I love the smell of the gender forum being called an “echo chamber” in the evening :rolleyes: 

It kind of is though. Not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that. 

 

Actually, it’s been months, maybe even years, since we’ve had anything really gender controversial posted ‘round these parts. HB is another story. It would be nice to be challenged once in a while.

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Well i questioning/doubting myself enough as it is i don't really need anyone else to do it for me too.

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butterflydreams
2 minutes ago, Kimmie. said:

Well i questioning/doubting myself enough as it is i don't really need anyone else to do it for me too.

I meant challenged in the general sense, not someone attacking you or someone else individually. I dunno, GD doesn’t feel the same as it used to. Maybe I miss friends who aren’t really here anymore.

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3 minutes ago, butterflydreams said:

I meant challenged in the general sense, not someone attacking you or someone else individually. I dunno, GD doesn’t feel the same as it used to. Maybe I miss friends who aren’t really here anymore.

I know i know my mind goes right to the darket place possible for some reason. Yeah i have noticed that some people have left sence i started hanging around here. 

 

And wow i am really bad at internet slang, had to look up GD^_^

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Today I inevitably got misgendered a few times because I had to show my id and stuff at uni, but at the same time I had a few classmates I interacted with who only know me and address me by my name and male pronouns so it feels good to know that even though "official people" see me in a certain way because of my "official name", everyone else who doesn't know about that stuff will just see me as me.

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I found myself getting just a touch less stealth in my workplace. There's always an interesting moment when if I discuss my big presentation that's coming up that I have to decide to what extent I reveal my motivations for this project, and honestly, one of my bosses just seemed so excited when I mentioned that I'm working with trans musicians that it just ended up no big deal to basically imply that I'm trans. Actually, this boss is encouraging me to get involved with a meet-and-greet with the president of this particular campus of the college and mention the kind of research I'm doing.

 

(Actually, I just pulled something similar at a friend's birthday party too, because one of the guests didn't know I was trans, and I just didn't care to go out of my way to hide it. I had met this person before, and the mutual friend who was celebrating her birthday is pretty outspoken about LGBT stuff, so I had no reason to bother with the mental gymnastics of stealth during a time when I just wanted to unwind.)

 

Honestly, I was a bit hesitant about saying anything at that remote campus. It's in a small town where everyone knows everyone, and some of my students might have been in earshot of my conversation with my boss, and that makes any sort of coming out kind of risky. My own nonchalance kind of surprised me, but it just felt so natural. There's something nice about avoiding some big dramatic reveal while still not feeling the need to hide. Everyone at that remote campus seems quite taken with me, to the point that even my boss as the main campus noticed despite the ~30 mile distance between the two.

 

I'm actually hosting a concert at that remote campus, and they're so excited about it that they're advertising the event to the entire town. I even have students from the class I teach at the main campus who want to go, regardless of the drive. :P Even as I get more casual about disclosing my trans status, I at least know that I've established myself first and foremost as an educator and a musician, and I like that.

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On 22-1-2018 at 4:25 AM, ChillaKilla said:

Just being a petty vagueposter, don’t mind me :P But it does happen pretty often, because we don’t permit people to crit- ahem, objectively discuss trans identities :rolleyes: 

But you know we don’t allow them because ehm *Cough* we don’t need they’re well objectively measured BS eh, pardon moi: I mean anology on how we should experience our gender identity?

 

I also find it hilarious to see how others want to claim they invented the egg of Columbus when it comes to telling us how we should experience our own feelings XD

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2 hours ago, SkyWorld said:

Still kinda lost. :’D

Me too!  I think it has something to do with the posts sounding the same and being an echoing of personal experiences with no clear solution instead of being impersonal ? I dunno?

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Calligraphette_Coe

Wonderful.  First the Butterfly Effect, which leads to internecine warfare, and then the reporters come out of the hills and kill the survivors. I saw this 25 years ago on Usenet, so don't mind me if I head a little early for the hills. I was naive back then, but you learn when you get burnt a few times.

 

Have fun nuking the luftballoons and call me when it's over, 'cos it's all the same kind of futile salad with different dressings, 's all:

Quote

 

99 red balloons floating in the summer sky
Panic bells, it's red alert, there's something here from somewhere else
The war machine springs to life, opening one eager eye
Focusing it in the sky as 99 red balloons go by

 

99 decision street, 99 ministers meet
To worry, worry, super scurry, call the troops out in a hurry
This is what we've waited for, this is it boys, this is war
The president is on the line, 99 red balloons go by

 

99 knights of the air ride super high tech jet fighters
Everyone's a superhero, everyone's a Captain Kirk 
With orders to identify, to clarify and classify
Scramble in the summer sky as 99 red balloons go by

 

99 dreams I have had, every one a red balloon
It's all over and I'm standing pretty in this dust that was a city
I could find a souvenir just to prove the world was here
And here's a red balloon, I think of you and let it go

 

 

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Oh my God! I went to the professor some other lecturer told me to go to because I wanted to speed my studies up a bit, because I'm bored with beginner courses... and he said I could begin PhD work! :o I'm still in undergrad. My boldest dreams came true today :lol: :cake:

 

Ironically, I just opened my internet browser... I was reading an article how to get into a PhD program in the morining. I guess... that's no longer up-to-date.

 

I mean... this is just making a project and trying to publish it, but... sounds and feels really cool ;) It will be about machine learning or something of this sort. I will be given a tutor and some extra classes. Nerd's paradise. Omg, graduate level classes must be so exciting! The topics are exciting, at least. Life is an adventure, at least sometimes :D 

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14 hours ago, Emery. said:

Oh my God! I went to the professor some other lecturer told me to go to because I wanted to speed my studies up a bit, because I'm bored with beginner courses... and he said I could begin PhD work! :o I'm still in undergrad. My boldest dreams came true today :lol: :cake:

 

Ironically, I just opened my internet browser... I was reading an article how to get into a PhD program in the morining. I guess... that's no longer up-to-date.

 

I mean... this is just making a project and trying to publish it, but... sounds and feels really cool ;) It will be about machine learning or something of this sort. I will be given a tutor and some extra classes. Nerd's paradise. Omg, graduate level classes must be so exciting! The topics are exciting, at least. Life is an adventure, at least sometimes :D 

Dude, that's fantastic! The confidence these professors have in you speaks volumes, especially since you're still an undergrad! Honestly, most people do their Master's and PhD at the same institution since the first two years of a doctoral program is almost a repeat of the master's in regards to coursework, so it sounds like you're just cutting out a middle step this way, and I'm saying that as someone with two master's degrees :P 

 

My inner academic feels that excitement too. Grad classes are rad, assuming you're studying something you really like anyways. (Can't say I particularly liked my business courses, but the music classes were phenomenal and are really what crafted me into the scholar I am today.) Best of luck with everything! :) 

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Wow there is so many here with high education!! Good for you:) It is awesome that you have the head to be able to do it.

Says the one with the Swedish equivalent to a high school degree.

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19 hours ago, Emery. said:

Oh my God! I went to the professor some other lecturer told me to go to because I wanted to speed my studies up a bit, because I'm bored with beginner courses... and he said I could begin PhD work! :o I'm still in undergrad. My boldest dreams came true today :lol: :cake:

 

Ironically, I just opened my internet browser... I was reading an article how to get into a PhD program in the morining. I guess... that's no longer up-to-date.

 

I mean... this is just making a project and trying to publish it, but... sounds and feels really cool ;) It will be about machine learning or something of this sort. I will be given a tutor and some extra classes. Nerd's paradise. Omg, graduate level classes must be so exciting! The topics are exciting, at least. Life is an adventure, at least sometimes :D 

Ahh!! Dude that’s awesome! Congrats! :cake: that’s the best news you can get! :D *Imagines Emery while he grins like a boss after hearing such wonderful news ^_^ 

 

5 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

Wow there is so many here with high education!! Good for you:) It is awesome that you have the head to be able to do it.

Says the one with the Swedish equivalent to a high school degree.

*High five* Kimmie! Another person here who only finished highschool because of mental issues and ended up being a proud hard worker at the same company for 18 years :D You don’t need a degree to enjoy life, sister!

 

I’m proud of those who study and become something in life too ^_^ it’s great to read about so many positives in this thread! 

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Thank you everyone :lol: 

 

i'm still hype. 

I know what I'd be doing for the rest of my life then. If not academia, then research companies. How cool.

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Huh, appropriately speaking about higher education... 

So I'm very close to graduating and now I'm having to face the reality that my bachelor's degree will have my name instead of my name. Several of my professors have encouraged me to change my name legally already but I feel like it's so complicated and I don't know how to do that when I live with my unsupportive family and I have no means of transportation that don't depend on them.

So I don't know what to do about this and now I'm just feeling kinda defeated. 

 

Those who graduated before changing your legal name, what did you do after? Are there ways of amending the name on your diploma?

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butterflydreams
14 minutes ago, Starbogen said:

Those who graduated before changing your legal name, what did you do after? Are there ways of amending the name on your diploma?

It’s not too big of a deal. I obviously have a diploma that I never ever look at, with my old name on it. The biggest thing you might want to correct are transcripts. I only had to use them once after graduating, but they do have my old name plastered all over them. It should be relatively easy to correct after the fact though. I just haven’t bothered.

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3 hours ago, Starbogen said:

Those who graduated before changing your legal name, what did you do after? Are there ways of amending the name on your diploma?

Yep! Lots of people get their diplomas reprinted after names changes from stuff like marriage/divorce, so it's common and easy enough for universities to take care of. I called my alma mater to ask about that, and they sent me a form to fill out, and once I get off my lazy ass and actually take care of it, I'll have my reprinted diplomas :P

 

I had my name legally changed while working on my third degree from the same university, and it took a while for them to actually update the system properly, but that probably makes the process of getting the diplomas reprinted all the easier. Saves me the worries about my transcripts too.

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butterflydreams
2 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

Yep! Lots of people get their diplomas reprinted after names changes from stuff like marriage/divorce, so it's common and easy enough for universities to take care of. I called my alma mater to ask about that, and they sent me a form to fill out, and once I get off my lazy ass and actually take care of it, I'll have my reprinted diplomas :P

 

I had my name legally changed while working on my third degree from the same university, and it took a while for them to actually update the system properly, but that probably makes the process of getting the diplomas reprinted all the easier. Saves me the worries about my transcripts too.

Is it worth bothering if you don’t display it anywhere?

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9 minutes ago, butterflydreams said:

Is it worth bothering if you don’t display it anywhere?

Guess it depends from person to person. Some degrees come with a certified digital version you can attach to job apps or sites like LinkedIn, so that might be helpful then. Getting hired at a college, I did have to verify my degrees in a sense, but they wanted my official academic transcript (which includes the degrees I was awarded) rather than the printed diplomas themselves. In the end, if you're not interested in displaying the degrees, then correcting probably them only means so much.

 

However, those of us going doctoral routes and/or work in academia are a touch more likely to want to display those degrees. Once I have all my degrees and have an office that's 100% my own, I'm going to display my degrees proudly. :) 

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@butterflydreams I don't really have any intention of displaying my degree(s) but personally I'd just like to be able to look at it myself when I felt like it.

 

It's like when you achieve something you're proud of and it's nice to revisit it from time to time. I do that with my drawings and stories all the time and even though a degree isn't the same I still want to have the option of looking at it if I want to without having to also feel bad about it because it says the wrong name.

I already have one diploma I never look at and you're right it's not that big of a deal but I feel like at the point in transition but also just self discovery in general that I'm in there would be something nicely symbolic about having as many things as possible with my name. So it's just for personal reasons, hope that makes sense.

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Janus the Fox

With finding out my like for fem clothing is preferred over male clothing, I often find myself curious about HRT, though I'd see it not changing too much in terms of the body.  Thus the body feels fem itself already, despite being physically male.  Could be an afect of being agendered or my own personal philosophy of gender dunno, but i'm in a place of feel good only more recently exploring the gender opposite and preferring it.

 

Tempted to fully cross dress in public when and where it's safe.

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I feel kind of bad. I've been so caught up keeping my head above water preparing my lectures that I just haven't been able to invest my time in my trans musicians project. I'm supposed to do a test run ~13 hours from now, and here I am still transcribing the last of my interviews. I'm still uncertain the best way to even organize all of this. Plus, I still need to cut up some audio clips from the interviews themselves, because I want to genuinely have these people's real voices heard. Pretty sure this upcoming test run is going to be a bit of a shitshow, and I'm not thrilled to do that with a topic as dear to me as this is. >>

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