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Celyn: The Lutening
9 hours ago, anisotrophic said:

I think it should be a very normal thing to be asking about surgery for anyone on hormone therapy for gender affirmation. (Sorry I can't tell if you're talking about T or birth control.)

I'm on progesterone for gender affirmation purposes.

6 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

 

I started thinking about that "between my legs", tail is third/fourth sex, haha.

Perfect. Ties in with "Your gender is whatever your phone suggests after "I am a..." " and mine is "Coward".

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nerdperson777
51 minutes ago, Celyn said:

Perfect. Ties in with "Your gender is whatever your phone suggests after "I am a..." " and mine is "Coward".

I don't think I can do this right now because my phone died earlier in the month, meaning I have to make a new library of suggested words again on my new phone.  The only nouns I got were guy and girl, so may have to wait a little longer.

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10 hours ago, Celyn said:

Perfect. Ties in with "Your gender is whatever your phone suggests after "I am a..." " and mine is "Coward".

I get either ''I am a man'' or ''I am a woman'' depending on the language I use... oops... 

My autocorrect is a slow learner apparently ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯

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10 hours ago, Celyn said:

Perfect. Ties in with "Your gender is whatever your phone suggests after "I am a..." " and mine is "Coward".

I am a (gets 3 choices) man, woman, or while.

Not sure where the hell "while" came from though.

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Custard Cream
10 hours ago, Celyn said:

Ties in with "Your gender is whatever your phone suggests after "I am a..." " and mine is "Coward".

At the moment, I am, apparently, a "medieval biscuit."

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28 minutes ago, CustardCream said:

At the moment, I am, apparently, a "medieval biscuit."

Golden.

Your keyboard is weirdly funny.

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Custard Cream
1 hour ago, PoeciMeta said:

Oh yeah I forgot I'm also a bit concerned. 

 

And oh yes you are @CustardCream XD

I so am. I'm crafting a medieval costume for a festival, so it's not a surprise!

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Custard Cream

What it should say is 'I am not enough', because that's the reality right now, and it hurts, and I need a hug.

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16 minutes ago, CustardCream said:

What it should say is 'I am not enough', because that's the reality right now, and it hurts, and I need a hug.

(Hugs)

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Custard Cream
2 minutes ago, Member114264 said:

(Hugs)

Thank you. Husband is reacting to me having decided to take a day out on Sunday with a bunch of fellow aces by choosing to take an old friend (a single, cishet sexual woman) out to dinner the same evening. He has been pretty clear about his intentions. Yeah, it hurts. More than I can bear to say.

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Captain_Tass
27 minutes ago, CustardCream said:

What it should say is 'I am not enough', because that's the reality right now, and it hurts, and I need a hug.

*big hug*

 

The past half hour I had another gender identity crisis, for an unknown reason, and I ended up remembering that I exist in a weird state of androgynous neutrality and agender fits me well enough. I pulled through though, and I believe that you can do so too! Remember, bad times are just times that just so happen to be bad, and they eventually give way to happier times.

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Custard Cream
2 minutes ago, Life Of Tass said:

*big hug*

 

The past half hour I had another gender identity crisis, for an unknown reason, and I ended up remembering that I exist in a weird state of androgynous neutrality and agender fits me well enough. I pulled through though, and I believe that you can do so too! Remember, bad times are just times that just so happen to be bad, and they eventually give way to happier times.

Thank you. I hate it when the problem is something I can't exert any control over. There is a hell of a lot of risk here... and not much comfort to be found.

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1 hour ago, CustardCream said:

What it should say is 'I am not enough', because that's the reality right now, and it hurts, and I need a hug.

*giant hug* 

 

You're more than enough. 😟

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anisotrophic
4 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

Oh yeah I forgot I'm also a bit concerned. 

hah, me too, a bit concerned.

actually am feeling upset/worried about my changing sexuality in starting T. I think my previous tactic of "ignore/sublimate" is failing, I feel miserable. my partner researched what to expect on this issue better than I did. (ok I guess that makes sense if he's ace, he's got reasons to worry about it. plus I've been avoiding the topic.) I'm hating myself for it, he's being kind and says we'll take it one day at a time.

@CustardCream oh god, the same evening, that seems so petty.

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21 hours ago, Celyn said:

"Your gender is whatever your phone suggests after "I am a..." "

good idea/person/advice.

 

It seems that my tablet likes me at the moment. So my gender is a good idea how.

 

8 hours ago, CustardCream said:

What it should say is 'I am not enough', because that's the reality right now, and it hurts, and I need a hug.

Feel hugged from me as long as you like. 👐

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Celyn: The Lutening
1 hour ago, Bloc said:

 

10 hours ago, CustardCream said:

What it should say is 'I am not enough', because that's the reality right now, and it hurts, and I need a hug.

Feel hugged from me as long as you like.

Ditto this.

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DarkStormyKnight
15 hours ago, CustardCream said:

What it should say is 'I am not enough', because that's the reality right now, and it hurts, and I need a hug.

hughughughughug

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Custard Cream

Thanks for the hugs everyone - they mean a lot more than I can say.

 

I might be reading too much into the situation, but I know what he wants to happen, and he's already outed me to her. Super, just what I always wanted.

 

I asked if she understood the concept of asexuality and he said no, she got confused and she thought - and I quote - that I was 'non-binary'. I went, well, very quiet at that that point.

 

 Yeah, great. I think I'm staying firmly in the gender closet for the foreseeable future...

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Celyn: The Lutening
10 minutes ago, CustardCream said:

I asked if she understood the concept of asexuality and he said no, she got confused and she thought - and I quote - that I was 'non-binary'. I went, well, very quiet at that that point.

 

 Yeah, great. I think I'm staying firmly in the gender closet for the foreseeable future

You are not obliged to out yourself to anyone, and your husband has no right to out you to anyone else so I'm super mad at him on your behalf for that.

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Custard Cream
1 minute ago, Celyn said:

You are not obliged to out yourself to anyone, and your husband has no right to out you to anyone else so I'm super mad at him on your behalf for that.

From what I can make out he's told all his female friends. Sheesh. 

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Celyn: The Lutening
34 minutes ago, CustardCream said:

From what I can make out he's told all his female friends. Sheesh. 

I AM TAMPING. 

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Custard Cream
4 minutes ago, Celyn said:

I AM TAMPING. 

It's OK. He is struggling with accepting my asexuality, and he simply doesn't understand that outing me is unacceptable.

I know he's only done it because he needs to vent about it, and he's never going to seek support from strangers.

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Celyn: The Lutening
5 minutes ago, CustardCream said:

he simply doesn't understand that outing me is unacceptable.

He dang well should understand. It's not rocket science.

I get that it's all new shocking information to him. My dad had the same reaction when I told him I was trans, he told everyone he knew about it and asked their opinions and used their shock to justify his "conclusion" that I was "just a tomboy". 

I guess we trust the people we love to keep personal stuff to themselves without being asked but they don't. Can't trust anyone. I don't know, now I'm so tired of it, I'm just like, fine, I don't have secrets. You don't have to like these facts about me or even believe them.

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anisotrophic

@CustardCream was it your gender identity status being outed, not about outing asexuality?

 

This is a digression (maybe your relationship stuff should be in another thread) but... He should vent to a therapist. And he should go online dating if he wants to date, this is roughly a "don't shit where you eat" situation. Whether he's conscious of it or not, I think "venting" to female friends is an effort to get pity (and more favors), not a genuine team effort at working through a rough patch with you. IMNSHO.

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Janus the Fox

A bit on the local news was that Wales has just opened its own gender clinic in Cardiff’s St. David’s Hospital, ready for an early September opening, hopefully cutting down waiting and long journeys to London for this.  Hopefully in time, I could have some professional discussion on my gender. :cake:

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Celyn: The Lutening
33 minutes ago, Janus DarkFox said:

Wales has just opened its own gender clinic in Cardiff, hopefully cutting down waiting and long journeys to London for this.

About time! That's awesome news. 

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I was cycling on a shared bike-pedestrian lane when a man told me: "Young lady, this is path is for pedestrians". Being called young lady didn't feel wrong, but also didn't give a flash of euphoria. However this was the first time a random stranger seeing me as a woman and expressing it and I did not much effort in passing. Before the reaction was that people could not put me into a box.

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Wow, I had no idea gender was called 'sexual identity' where I live. Gotta love the ambiguity. 

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no-longer-in-use
13 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

Wow, I had no idea gender was called 'sexual identity' where I live. Gotta love the ambiguity. 

I hate when people conflate sexuality and gender, and the word "identity" never added anything to anything. Nonbinary isn't my "gender identity" any more than asexual is my "sexual identity", they're just my gender and sexuality.

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