Light02 Posted May 23, 2019 Share Posted May 23, 2019 Yesterday me and my roommate went out drinking and they got really, really drunk. Then, when we got home they started skyping their girlfriend and even though they were so drunk they could barely speak they still used they/them pronouns for me 😊😊😊. I'm so happy. 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 10 hours ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said: Is it the technique where you put on the 'new' shirt over the old one and then remove the old one from underneath? I've pretty much perfected that technique. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 My computer glasses broke last night so I need to get a new pair. I'm thinking about getting a pair of prescription sunglasses, too, in women's style for when I am en femme. (but for some reason nervous about doing that) I have too many other things to do today and won't be en femme to get the glasses. I do still have my nails painted up from a recent event (shiny red with glittery accents on 2 fingers), so that may give them a clue that I am not exactly the boring cishet old man I appear to be? 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 @daveb I say go for getting "womens" sunglasses - only if you'll get plenty of use out of them though, otherwise you'd have to get two pairs. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 3 hours ago, daveb said: My computer glasses broke last night so I need to get a new pair. I'm thinking about getting a pair of prescription sunglasses, too, in women's style for when I am en femme. (but for some reason nervous about doing that) I have too many other things to do today and won't be en femme to get the glasses. I do still have my nails painted up from a recent event (shiny red with glittery accents on 2 fingers), so that may give them a clue that I am not exactly the boring cishet old man I appear to be? I say go for it! What is the point in having all those styles if you can't pick the ones that make you happy? 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 I agree with custard and Celyn go for it. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 On 5/23/2019 at 10:43 AM, Fluffy Femme Guy said: Is it the technique where you put on the 'new' shirt over the old one and then remove the old one from underneath? Kind of, but not exactly. The old shirt is off enough that my head isn't through the hole anymore and the new shirt immediately goes on with head through the hole. Then the putting new shirt on and old shirt comes off at approximately the same time. I also hunch over a little so no chest can be seen and at best my back would be a little visible. But I'm still wearing an undershirt through all this. I'm not completely topless ever. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 9 minutes ago, Kimmie. said: I agree with custard and Celyn go for it. I did go for it. The young woman who helped me was nice. I showed her a pic of me en femme and said sometimes I look like this and that I wanted sunglasses for that look. She picked out a few frames and brought them to me to try, and would have got more if I didn't like any of those ones. But I liked a few, narrowed them down to 2 choices. Then she pointed out one pair was cheaper than the other so I picked the cheaper one. She didn't bat an eye over any of it. 12 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 4 minutes ago, daveb said: She didn't bat an eye over any of it. I sometimes wonder about this whenever I make a call to the doctor or anything medical related that isn't the informed consent clinic. Sometimes I make my voice high enough that it's still "female" passable but usually I don't have the energy to. Even when I say yes, [legal name] is me in this deep voice, they never questioned me. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 @daveb I'm so happy it went well and you came out of it with a pair of glasses that make you happy! @nerdperson777 I've had the same with medical/mental health professionals being chill when I say I'm asexual and nonbinary. All I can think of is a) their training is good or b) I'm good at judging who's safe to come out to. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 3 minutes ago, Celyn said: I'm so happy it went well and you came out of it with a pair of glasses that make you happy! I won't get the glasses for a few days. The computer glasses I also ordered will take about a week, so I said I would pick up both glasses at the same time. I'll try to post a pic (maybe in the gender positive thread) once I get them. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 I am happy that people are more and more open and not judgemental. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 Before I went I deliberately chose to not wash off my red nails and glitter nails, even though they are getting a bit chipped by now. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 1 hour ago, daveb said: I did go for it. The young woman who helped me was nice. I showed her a pic of me en femme and said sometimes I look like this and that I wanted sunglasses for that look. She picked out a few frames and brought them to me to try, and would have got more if I didn't like any of those ones. But I liked a few, narrowed them down to 2 choices. Then she pointed out one pair was cheaper than the other so I picked the cheaper one. She didn't bat an eye over any of it. Yay! Hope we get a pic! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 @daveb Congrats! @Kimmie. I am happy about that as well. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 One other thing about the optometry - as far as I could see there was nothing that separated or labeled any of the glasses as men's or women's. The only separate section was for children's glasses and those weren't marked by gender either. 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 That is progress @daveb ☺️ 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Destan Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 The pronouns problem saga continues. At my friend s little birthday party, her new friends arrived late. My friend introduced them to everyone because it's their first time meeting each other, except for me. I already met them at a convention so my friend said this: " That is [name], you two already met her from before." Me: "...It's actually him ..." After I corrected her, there was this awkward moment of silence before my friend moved on to the others. This shouldn't be a surprise for anyone else because I already told them once I preferred he/him two birthday parties ago. (I can't blame her friends. We only gather once a year just for her) Especially the birthday girl, she knew it for years. I used to hide it from everyone except for my friends, but now that I try to open up myself more. It becomes awkward when I correct my acquaintances. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 On 5/24/2019 at 1:09 PM, Celyn said: @nerdperson777 I've had the same with medical/mental health professionals being chill when I say I'm asexual and nonbinary. All I can think of is a) their training is good or b) I'm good at judging who's safe to come out to. Well, in my case, I don't explicitly say anything. I just make a normal phone call but my voice is deeper than most "female" voices. All they do is check that [legal name] is my name and then I go about scheduling an appointment or whatever I was doing on the phone. There's no "are you sure?" or "I don't believe you." I've only gotten that at university when I have to show my ID because our ID card is what we use to pay for things most of the time. "I don't think this is you." "Yes it is", I said in this firm monotone voice. Then they just used my card and that's all that ever happened. Even when I had to replace my driver's license last year because I couldn't find my wallet for a month, the DMV clerk didn't say anything. Of course, they had my thumb print so even if I physically looked different, my prints were still the same. (Turned out that my wallet was in the back seat of my car, in a pocket of a jacket I never checked, and I found it right before my new replacement cards arrived.) 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 I have to go to a family wedding next weekend. My dad secretly gave me money to go get a haircut but his message said to not let it be too short. My parents have been saying that forever, because they want to show that they have a daughter with them, despite me not never passing as female anymore. I do need a haircut, as my hair is growing to cover my ears, but I like having short hair. I don't exactly have a style but I just like the feeling of shaved sides. That makes me wonder if I should try to find a compromise hairstyle or I should not be compromising my identity. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 48 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said: That makes me wonder if I should try to find a compromise hairstyle or I should not be compromising my identity. It's your hair, do what you want. Your parents have no right to control what you do with your body. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Fuck em @nerdperson777, have your hair how you want. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 @nerdperson777 Do whatever you please with your hair. Act like they don’t have any control over you. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Why did he give you the money for a haircut secretly? If your hair is just starting to cover your ears and your dad said to get a haircut what is too short? A total buzzcut? 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 It is your hair do what ever you want with it. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 7 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said: Fuck em @nerdperson777, have your hair how you want. Not literally, of course. 7 hours ago, ColeHW said: @nerdperson777 Do whatever you please with your hair. Act like they don’t have any control over you. I try. But my dad has had some BS logic in the past about owning me because he created me. Mom tried to make it right by saying that dad doesn't explain things well. 1 hour ago, daveb said: Why did he give you the money for a haircut secretly? If your hair is just starting to cover your ears and your dad said to get a haircut what is too short? A total buzzcut? I took clippers from my parents' place to use them but I got so busy that I didn't get to. They also wanted it back, either to trim the dog or my dad to cut his hair, so I came back with it. When I came that day, I just left them on a table in the house and my dad took it. He just happened to have needed to check the odometer on the car so he would've gone outside. Just that when I was leaving and getting into the driver's seat, I saw that he left the note with money there. So mom would not have seen this. If she was all totalitarian, then she would've just had me be a girl again, meaning I would have to grow my hair out. She tried dictating my haircuts before but all they do is look a little shorter, and dad would always say that it doesn't look cut at all. So whatever my parents want my hair to be, it's always going to be longer than what I have or chose to get. Mom freaked out at me once because all she sees is my hair getting shorter and shorter, which really has to be her anxiety and paranoia. Whenever I cut my own hair with the clippers, she would ask me practically everyday for the next week if I cut my hair again since then. No, I haven't. She has even asked me if I planned on being bald. I've done enough research to know that shaving all my hair off would make me look more feminine, because my face isn't very angled, and everything else looks rather feminine. So I would pass less if I went bald. Whatever I have is always too short and that usually is shaving my sides and then maybe an inch or two on top. I do have some pics from before. Three years ago: https://www.dropbox.com/s/pbd66bwt1es9hel/2016-03-30 02.04.43.jpg?dl=0 Three months after that: https://www.dropbox.com/s/f126nvcbdxkyxwm/2016-06-29 02.23.25.jpg?dl=0 Another three months: https://www.dropbox.com/s/0yc0izjdl80w5a5/2016-09-28 03.21.40.jpg?dl=0 Don't remember if this was for a haircut but four months later: https://www.dropbox.com/s/f6gpw9fhoqey04z/2017-01-09 12.10.22.jpg?dl=0 (Oh wait, there are dates on these links.) Well anyway, I don't think I've taken after haircut pics since then so these are pre-T times. (I wonder if I can make a pre-dysphoric times joke somewhere.) 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 I think you posted some of those pics before or similar ones. They look familiar. And you look like a guy. I wouldn't even question it. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 My mom put my name as the address of my birthday present! In the card she didn't use any name, but that's already a big step for her. I feel like my parents are trying to build a better relationship with me now, it's weird but nice. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 On 5/29/2019 at 6:02 PM, daveb said: I think you posted some of those pics before or similar ones. They look familiar. And you look like a guy. I wouldn't even question it. Yeah, considering how old those pictures are, I probably have posted them before. My parents just have trouble thinking from other people's point of view so just because they know I'm AFAB, they assume everyone else does, even when I pass a majority of the time. On T, I haven't had anyone call me a girl other than my relatives. 32 minutes ago, Finn. said: My mom put my name as the address of my birthday present! In the card she didn't use any name, but that's already a big step for her. I feel like my parents are trying to build a better relationship with me now, it's weird but nice. My dad ordered pizza and said that the name was under the name I have been going by. He told this to me as a text, never out loud, but I hope they're taking steps again? My parents did try, and then stopped previously. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 @nerdperson777, your hair looks fine in all of the photos you posted. I honestly don't see very much difference between them. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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