Lady Longshadow Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Some interesting comments, so I thought I would add mine :) I think there are two main reasons for so few transwomen on AVEN. Firstly there are a large number of TG forums that are almost the complete preserve of M-F people. There is a range of support there. Being TG is probably viewed as a need that needs more support then being asexual. Secondly, many who transition, as has been stated, turn their backs on the TG community deciding that it is safer to go "stealth". Mixing with other transexuals might "give them away". I must admit that it's something I have been thinking about a lot, as I am coming to the end of my personal transitioning. I am not a big supporter of the TG community, but I do help on the fringes. I hope I have the time and desire to continue, so I can hopefully help others, as I have been helped. The temptation to see myself as "cured" and just get on with my life is very tempting, however. All my love, Kate I've also been thinking of leaving the trans community behind me, but I think I'm a bit of an addict. I've tried to leave twice, but just found myself feeling really lonely. But I'm so eager to move on and define myself as something beyond my "transness". Maybe I should start by not posting on trans related forums. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 That is quite understandable--leaving the Trans community and just being yourself, now basically a ciswoman (or cisman if you are FtM). You have done so much to get there and it is time to live a more normal life, and leave a life not so burdened by GID. Many (most?) post-transition, especially post-op transpeople do that or strive for it, and not wish that others know of their past life of one with a different gender role, and getting (or hoping not to get) the discrimination that comes with that. That is muchly what going stealth is about. However, often people make freinds with other T people suring transition, and the bond can be deep. You may not wish to lose them. And the desire to help others that are beginning to transition--help them succeed--can be part of you as well. Certaily, you can generally have more sympathy (and empathy) for other transpeople, whereas many of the general population may give the transitioners scorn or worse. And there is the wonderfulness of letting early transitioners know that you did it, and so can they--there is hope. *gives to post-transitioners who still add their input into trans-related groups* Link to post Share on other sites
KayleeSaeihr Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 I don't consider myself part of the trans-community... I am trans, and have a few trans friends, but I know almost nothing about anything or anyone in the trans community in my area. So it'd be a little hard for me to leave a community I'm not really a part of. (I'm on two trans-ish forums...sorta counts maybe) Having said that, if I ever have the opportunity to help someone with my experiences I'd gladly do so. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Longshadow Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 That is quite understandable--leaving the Trans community and just being yourself, now basically a ciswoman (or cisman if you are FtM). You have done so much to get there and it is time to live a more normal life, and leave a life not so burdened by GID. Many (most?) post-transition, especially post-op transpeople do that or strive for it, and not wish that others know of their past life of one with a different gender role, and getting (or hoping not to get) the discrimination that comes with that. That is muchly what going stealth is about. However, often people make freinds with other T people suring transition, and the bond can be deep. You may not wish to lose them. And the desire to help others that are beginning to transition--help them succeed--can be part of you as well. Certaily, you can generally have more sympathy (and empathy) for other transpeople, whereas many of the general population may give the transitioners scorn or worse. And there is the wonderfulness of letting early transitioners know that you did it, and so can they--there is hope. *gives to post-transitioners who still add their input into trans-related groups* Thanks for the cake! =9 When I first started out I realized how our community was for wont of roll models since all of those who successfully transition seem to disappear. It was for this reason I swore I would never leave that community and act as a mentor to the next generation of transitioners. Now I'm not so sure that's what I want to do. When I look at my facebook, for example, I realize it is immediately apparent, because of the groups I've joined and the people on my friends list, that I am transsexual. That didn't used to be a problem, but as I start to make new friends outside of the queer community I find myself reluctant to add them. I also feel increasingly uncomfortable going out in public with groups of trans people because then I get outed by proxy. I feel kind of guilty because I realize that this stratification of the trans community between those who integrate and those who do not contributes to our marginalization. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted August 6, 2010 Author Share Posted August 6, 2010 I recently gained the support of one of my friends for my transition. I'm so happy. ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 I recently gained the support of one of my friends for my transition. I'm so happy. ;) Whoo! Congrats! I still have yet to come out to my best friend, but with some of the drama among my friends right now, I haven't found it to be the right time. Link to post Share on other sites
Rivan Vox Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I think I can post here now. Though I'm not sure, and I'm very, very scared :( Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Feel free to talk to us. I'll talk with you if no one else will. Welcome to the thread regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
Rivan Vox Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Thanks. I'll be seeing a psychiatrist soon. Hopefully a nice, understanding sort. One of my big brothers and two of my sisters know. I already know my parents won't believe me. Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Hugs and I hope you find a good psychiatrist. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 More hugs and cake from me. Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 I just came out to my best friend. It took a lot of courage for me, despite knowing that she would accept me. But now it feels like a lot of weight just lifted from my shoulders. She completely accepted me as I had anticipated and is proud of me for being true to myself. :D :D :D Now that I have some peer support, I think it will be easier to come out to other friends. Revolution starts with one gunshot afterall, and tonight was the first gunshot. It will just keep getting easier the more I do it. I love my bestie (in a non-sexual, non-romantic, filial sort of way). Cake to go around! Also, Valentine, how is your situation? I hope you're doing well. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted August 24, 2010 Author Share Posted August 24, 2010 That's such good news Silence! :cake: :cake: As an update on myself, I'm going to see my psych very soon. She's been talking to an endocrinologist about my starting HRT. I'm hoping for the best. I've been waiting so long. Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Oh that's good news too. Good luck :) . Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted August 25, 2010 Author Share Posted August 25, 2010 More cake for the hell of it. Let's make a swimmingpool! :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 Oh yes, a giant pool of cake! Because the transgirls of AVEN know how to party ;) . Link to post Share on other sites
Aleawyn Posted September 1, 2010 Share Posted September 1, 2010 So, a question that will likely result in some explicit answers (I'm not entirely sure what the boundaries are on the forums): I notice there are several ongoing conversations about, and an entire thread dedicated to, binders and binding, but I haven't seen anything on tucking. Has anyone tried tucking? Do people have suggestions or experiences about what works and what doesn't? Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted September 1, 2010 Share Posted September 1, 2010 So, a question that will likely result in some explicit answers (I'm not entirely sure what the boundaries are on the forums): I notice there are several ongoing conversations about, and an entire thread dedicated to, binders and binding, but I haven't seen anything on tucking. Has anyone tried tucking? Do people have suggestions or experiences about what works and what doesn't? Well, I haven't tried it myself on account for the fact that I haven't even begun transitioning (and I'm still not sure if I want to; I'm still in the coming out stage). But I have heard that if not done correctly (and perhaps doing it period) can be unhealthy as it can cut off circulation to the... nether-parts... And as has been mentioned before, there are more transguys and other transgendered peoples than there are transgirls here on AVEN, hence why there likely hasn't been a topic on tucking. Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted September 1, 2010 Share Posted September 1, 2010 Ugh, so does anyone else here feel violated when their chest is touched? I may not have breasts (yet anyways (if ever)), but I hate it when my guy friends give me those damned "titty-twisters." <_< I'm still female-minded and it feels like a violation of my body. Earlier today my special needs sister pushed me there because I was playing with her, and it almost made me jump. >_< I don't want to be touched there. (It probably doesn't help that I've been feeling extra feminine today) Link to post Share on other sites
Rivan Vox Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 SILENCE: Oh yes.. TODAY: I met a transgirl at school! her name is Jacob. I found it amusing that she didn't know she was talking to fellow transgendered person :P I totally have an asexy crush on her and want to get to know her better. I thought she was a transguy, actually, because she looked a girl with a more masculine face than most, and her name is Jacob. I'm still confused because she has breasts.. like I'm talking c or d cup, and I can't tell if they're real of not. She's a riddle :P Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 Cool! That's pretty awesome. I haven't really gotten around to meeting any transfolk at my school (just started college last week). I've just been focused on getting settled into college life. But I am considering joining the LGBT at school, although one of my classes requires a supplemental instruction type of thing, so I'd rather only do one or the other (I'm not too into extra-curricular things). I'm pretty sure I've seen some transfolk on the way to my classes though. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted September 3, 2010 Author Share Posted September 3, 2010 Does anyone else ever feel like transition would cut down what they could do in life? Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted September 3, 2010 Share Posted September 3, 2010 Does anyone else ever feel like transition would cut down what they could do in life? Hmm, well I've heard that transexuals have a harder time finding a job. But in some states at least, it's illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity or presentation. Also, if you're limited in money, then doing something like transitioning in college may not be the best idea. It's probably better to get a college education and transition later on. I'd ask Lady Longshadow. She has transitioned. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted September 3, 2010 Author Share Posted September 3, 2010 Does anyone else ever feel like transition would cut down what they could do in life? Hmm, well I've heard that transexuals have a harder time finding a job. But in some states at least, it's illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity or presentation. Also, if you're limited in money, then doing something like transitioning in college may not be the best idea. It's probably better to get a college education and transition later on. I'd ask Lady Longshadow. She has transitioned. I mean more of a generalized way. I really want to travel the world, but if I am female bodied, that's going to be unfortunately more dangerous then if I didn't transition, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted September 3, 2010 Share Posted September 3, 2010 Does anyone else ever feel like transition would cut down what they could do in life? Hmm, well I've heard that transexuals have a harder time finding a job. But in some states at least, it's illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity or presentation. Also, if you're limited in money, then doing something like transitioning in college may not be the best idea. It's probably better to get a college education and transition later on. I'd ask Lady Longshadow. She has transitioned. I mean more of a generalized way. I really want to travel the world, but if I am female bodied, that's going to be unfortunately more dangerous then if I didn't transition, etc. Well I suppose that that's true. But with that in mind, you'd be at just as much risk as any other woman or female-bodied person. It's those sorts of things that I find my male body to have an advantage. My friend doesn't want to go to these meetings at school because she doesn't want to ride the light rail home from downtown at five in the evening, after all the business men get off of work. As such, she is trying to make me go with her so she doesn't get raped, but I have to get my mum to make changes to her schedule if I do go with my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted September 3, 2010 Author Share Posted September 3, 2010 Does anyone else ever feel like transition would cut down what they could do in life? Hmm, well I've heard that transexuals have a harder time finding a job. But in some states at least, it's illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity or presentation. Also, if you're limited in money, then doing something like transitioning in college may not be the best idea. It's probably better to get a college education and transition later on. I'd ask Lady Longshadow. She has transitioned. I mean more of a generalized way. I really want to travel the world, but if I am female bodied, that's going to be unfortunately more dangerous then if I didn't transition, etc. Well I suppose that that's true. But with that in mind, you'd be at just as much risk as any other woman or female-bodied person. It's those sorts of things that I find my male body to have an advantage. My friend doesn't want to go to these meetings at school because she doesn't want to ride the light rail home from downtown at five in the evening, after all the business men get off of work. As such, she is trying to make me go with her so she doesn't get raped, but I have to get my mum to make changes to her schedule if I do go with my friend. Exactly why I wish I was happy with being male sometimes. I wish I was Cis so much right now. I have to much stuff to think about while thinking about being trans as well. Link to post Share on other sites
KayleeSaeihr Posted September 4, 2010 Share Posted September 4, 2010 Does anyone else ever feel like transition would cut down what they could do in life? In some minor ways, probably yes. But I think mostly no. Transitioning seems to have thrown open the door in terms of what I could do in life. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted September 14, 2010 Author Share Posted September 14, 2010 Considering how small we are as a Minority on AVEN, maybe we should get a pinned thread... not that there isn't enough pinned threads on the gender forum. Let the other girls know that there are in fact MtF's here considering the overwhelming majority of Trans-yadas, and Trans-Males. Link to post Share on other sites
Aleawyn Posted September 14, 2010 Share Posted September 14, 2010 We need to do a better job conversing about random topics that come to us! Link to post Share on other sites
Oceania Posted September 14, 2010 Share Posted September 14, 2010 Haha, yes, pin it indeed. I can't think of anything to talk about at the moment though. Hmm... Link to post Share on other sites
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