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TransGirls of Aven


Typical Power

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InfiniteConciousness
The best part about MtFs is that they know how to do a pushup before hitting the female stage. None of those fake girly ones that get passed around in elementary school. Nope, doing a regular pushup is something you can't forget from your early school years nor stop doing correctly when working out in your later years.

I've never been able to do any kind of press-up at any time in my life, nor could I ever envision a time or circumstance when I will ever need to. The "best part" about being M-F for me, is the fact that I was able to get surgery to correct a horrible condition, or else I would not be here. :(

All my love,

Kate

I have never been any good at push ups either. I have allso been told I handshake like a woman allso.

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Hiya! Another transgirl here. Came to join the fun. ^_^

I was born male, but for as long as I can remember, I have imagined about what it would be like if I was a girl. It has been a thought that has intrigued me... but also a secret longing in my heart...

In the past year or so, I have begun to realize that I do not identify as male. I feel that the female identity suits me better, butI have not told any of my family or friends, and I am still a little uncertain of this identity...

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InfiniteConciousness

Hiya! Another transgirl here. Came to join the fun. ^_^

I was born male, but for as long as I can remember, I have imagined about what it would be like if I was a girl. It has been a thought that has intrigued me... but also a secret longing in my heart...

In the past year or so, I have begun to realize that I do not identify as male. I feel that the female identity suits me better, butI have not told any of my family or friends, and I am still a little uncertain of this identity...

If you are unsure then thats no problem. Theres an internet test which will give you some indication of whether you are a transwoman or not. It will only give you an indication though. Just answer the questions honestly and see what you get

http://www.transsexual.org/cogiati_english.html

I got probable transexual. It said I had mostly feminine traits with some masculine or androgynous ones allso.

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Welcome, Velkas! :cake:

I personally don't trust the COGIATI or any such online test as a reliable indication of whether or not a person is trans. There are a lot of questions in the COGIATI that depend on questionable gender stereotypes about driving, spelling, mathematical, and social skills. It's also not hard to tell how most answers count toward the test results and to fill it out in such a way that it will more than likely tell you what you want to hear. That is, of course, if there are any specific results you want to see.

One of the best things to do if you're unsure about your gender identity is to talk to a therapist about how you feel, preferably one who's experienced or a specialist in gender identity issues. I don't know as much about your family or how they might react to this topic as you do, Velkas, but if you're comfortable enough and think the conversation would go well, I would watch for a chance to let your parent(s) know you've been feeling uncertain about your identity lately. You shouldn't feel pressured to "come out" as anything at this point, but they might appreciate you being open with them about your feelings. If you decide further down the line that your feelings about your identity aren't a big deal, you can let them know and that will be that. Alternatively, if you realize later that your feelings are strong enough that you want to consider more serious options, then your family might be better prepared.

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Welcome' date=' Velkas! :cake:[/quote']Hi Kelly. *nibbles cake* Mmm... delicious.

Okay, I did take the COGIATI test, and got a result of probable transsexual, but yeah, I agree with PatC that it's not a very reliable indicator of being trans.

One of the best things to do if you're unsure about your gender identity is to talk to a therapist about how you feel' date=' preferably one who's experienced or a specialist in gender identity issues. I don't know as much about your family or how they might react to this topic as you do, Velkas, but if you're comfortable enough and think the conversation would go well, I would watch for a chance to let your parent(s) know you've been feeling uncertain about your identity lately. You shouldn't feel pressured to "come out" as anything at this point, but they might appreciate you being open with them about your feelings. If you decide further down the line that your feelings about your identity aren't a big deal, you can let them know and that will be that. Alternatively, if you realize later that your feelings are strong enough that you want to consider more serious options, then your family might be better prepared.[/quote']I have no idea of how my parents would react, but now isn't a very good time to tell them, as they're living on a different continent (they moved, and I stayed here to finish the school year). But I'll see if I can talk to them this summer...
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A Long Time Ago

Welcome Velkas :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake:. Clarity will eventually come in time. PatC's suggestion to see a gender specialist sounds pretty good.

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Thanks for the cake. *eats all four pieces at once*

Clarity will eventually come in time.
Yeah... ^_^
PatC's suggestion to see a gender specialist sounds pretty good.
Perhaps. But I want to try to tell my parents first, and I can't do that until this summer...
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A Long Time Ago
PatC's suggestion to see a gender specialist sounds pretty good.
Perhaps. But I want to try to tell my parents first, and I can't do that until this summer...

Sounds like you have some time on your hands then. In the mean time, you might consider joining a trans group or something along those lines.

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Perhaps, but only online. I have the most freedom on the internet...

But I feel that part of the problem with me being uncertain is that I'm not able to act female in real life...

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A Long Time Ago

Perhaps, but only online. I have the most freedom on the internet...

That is one of the nice things about the internet. Speaking of an internet groups, you have already found a very good one here on AVEN. I would also suggest the Yadas (also known as the TransYadas), who have close ties to AVEN (the yadas started on AVEN). We are a fun and supportive group (one does need to have fun afterall to make everything more bearable). You should check us out in the YadaThread here on AVEN TransWhatevers of AVEN (we don't use it nearly as much as we use to) and the YadaForum hosted elsewhere at transyada.net). Maybe I will see you there if it looks appealing to you.

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Yes, welcome Velkas. There's cake over at the yadas. Yes, that's right, follow the cake. ^_^ <<<Sadistic smile of innocence

We do have a Transgirls thread there too, which is where most of our conversations seem to take place.

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InfiniteConciousness

Perhaps, but only online. I have the most freedom on the internet...

That is one of the nice things about the internet. Speaking of an internet groups, you have already found a very good one here on AVEN. I would also suggest the Yadas (also known as the TransYadas), who have close ties to AVEN (the yadas started on AVEN). We are a fun and supportive group (one does need to have fun afterall to make everything more bearable). You should check us out in the YadaThread here on AVEN TransWhatevers of AVEN (we don't use it nearly as much as we use to) and the YadaForum hosted elsewhere at transyada.net). Maybe I will see you there if it looks appealing to you.

Velkas

Take time to experiment with things to truly find out what you are. I am closer to the female side and may have bits of androgyny in me but theres nothing about maculinty that make me think I want to act that way. Nothing wrong with Cis or transgender males (or masculine traits) but there is no personal draw in me acting masculine.

Coming out is going to be really hard for me since I think my mums transphobic and I really can't work out my dad at all. I want to bad so I can move on and discover myself a lot more but I am scared to death of being disowned and thrown out of home and I have nowhere else to go. Thats tearing me to bits inside. Thats the worst thing ever when you know its there but cant act on it very much.

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A Long Time Ago

Yes, welcome Velkas. There's cake over at the yadas. Yes, that's right, follow the cake. ^_^ <<<Sadistic smile of innocence

We do have a Transgirls thread there too, which is where most of our conversations seem to take place.

So is the "TransGirls of AVEN" thread turning into the "Recruit Yadas from AVEN Thread".

Velkas

Take time to experiment with things to truly find out what you are. I am closer to the female side and may have bits of androgyny in me but theres nothing about maculinty that make me think I want to act that way. Nothing wrong with Cis or transgender males (or masculine traits) but there is no personal draw in me acting masculine.

And then there are somewhat masculine transwomen like me as left to my own devices (no societal pressure), I would be slightly more masculine than feminine (funny how I guess I am continuing the long tradition of tomboys in my family).

Coming out is going to be really hard for me since I think my mums transphobic and I really can't work out my dad at all. I want to bad so I can move on and discover myself a lot more but I am scared to death of being disowned and thrown out of home and I have nowhere else to go. Thats tearing me to bits inside. Thats the worst thing ever when you know its there but cant act on it very much.

*hug* It really is hard to probe people without tipping your hand. I guess, you need to somehow set things up so that you find out where they stand. One way to do that would be to look in the TV guide and see if there is any station that might have something even trans related at a time of the day your family might watch TV and simply ask what is on that channel if it is a channel you normally watch. That way, it will be like stumbling into it and you can find out where the stand by their reactions and you will not have tipped your hand (assuming you can control the tone of your voice well enough to not make them suspicious).

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InfiniteConciousness

Yes, welcome Velkas. There's cake over at the yadas. Yes, that's right, follow the cake. ^_^ <<<Sadistic smile of innocence

We do have a Transgirls thread there too, which is where most of our conversations seem to take place.

So is the "TransGirls of AVEN" thread turning into the "Recruit Yadas from AVEN Thread".

Velkas

Take time to experiment with things to truly find out what you are. I am closer to the female side and may have bits of androgyny in me but theres nothing about maculinty that make me think I want to act that way. Nothing wrong with Cis or transgender males (or masculine traits) but there is no personal draw in me acting masculine.

And then there are somewhat masculine transwomen like me as left to my own devices (no societal pressure), I would be slightly more masculine than feminine (funny how I guess I am continuing the long tradition of tomboys in my family).

Coming out is going to be really hard for me since I think my mums transphobic and I really can't work out my dad at all. I want to bad so I can move on and discover myself a lot more but I am scared to death of being disowned and thrown out of home and I have nowhere else to go. Thats tearing me to bits inside. Thats the worst thing ever when you know its there but cant act on it very much.

*hug* It really is hard to probe people without tipping your hand. I guess, you need to somehow set things up so that you find out where they stand. One way to do that would be to look in the TV guide and see if there is any station that might have something even trans related at a time of the day your family might watch TV and simply ask what is on that channel if it is a channel you normally watch. That way, it will be like stumbling into it and you can find out where the stand by their reactions and you will not have tipped your hand (assuming you can control the tone of your voice well enough to not make them suspicious).

I am not the hyper feminine type. I would not have got this far if i was. Most of these come out/start homones/then have SRS as soon as legally possible as someone else said. I am a plane enthusiast (allbeit I don't go to watch aircraft as much as I used to) and am seeking work in aviation engineering. So I have elements of tomboy in me. I just have no draw to acting masculine in any way. I have other interests and nightclubbing has to be the biggest. Ahh the euphoria of it all. *losing myself in the thought of it alone*

I will try the TV thing and see how it goes. thanks for that. *hugs*

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Most of these come out/start homones/then have SRS as soon as legally possible

Most of the post-ops that I know had surgery (and started HRT) later in life.

I...am seeking work in aviation engineering. So I have elements of tomboy in me.

Tomboys are cool.

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Ya, being hyperfeminine can suck. My femininity is fluid, and lately I've been hyperfemme a lot and my dysphoria is just. Blergh. Why.

As for coming out, my mum has betrayed me too many times that when I move out, I won't care if I ever talk to her again. In which coming out will be unnecessary. For her. My dad though, even though that side of the family is Mormon, I have this strange feeling like he'll be accepting of it. That or in denial about it maybe, but I just cannot see him hating me for it or wanting to disown me.

And, why yes, I think this is an excellent breeding ground for new yadas.

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  • 2 months later...
  • 2 months later...

Ooh, I guess I can join now.

I've always been a transwoman the more that I think about it but ultimately decided that it wasn't worth transitioning. I really didn't consider myself trans at all until 5 or 6 weeks ago.

Now I'm on week 2 of therapy and soon will be getting on HRT. I'm super duper excited. This is really the most refreshing and happy period of my life in a lot of ways right now.

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Even though I identify as cisgender now, I've gone through a good deal of gender issues throughout adolescence. I'm happy with my female identity now though. :)

Would someone please tell their own story, say when they've found out they were trans, how they reacted to it, why they decided to transition/not to transition, and so on? I would be very interested to hear some experiences.

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Welcome to the forum!

Now I'm on week 2 of therapy and soon will be getting on HRT. I'm super duper excited. This is really the most refreshing and happy period of my life in a lot of ways right now.

Huge congratulations! :cake:

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Captain Paige

yaaay theres actually a transgirls thread now x3 hello all :3 i checked a week or so ago and couldn't find one xD

I'm out to family and friends about my issues although, i think mum thinks i meant it in some sort of sexual way (despite telling her that ive known and felt that somethings wrong since i was about 7 years old!) so family dont seem to realise (or are blocking it out?) that i hate the body i was born in, and would want to do anything to change it, not a moment goes by when I don't think about it and i can be out and about and some stupid little thing may bring it to mind and i'll just suddenly get really low for the rest of the day :o but my main problems with transitioning are that i would probably lose my family, some friends, my job (and before you say 'thats illegal' technically it isn't, i work with family and because our business is built on respect and reputation, theyd argue it compromises local reputation) considering the very homophobic nature of the area (let alone transphobic) and i would probably lose my band too! (who don't know about me yet)

It basically seems that i'm destined to be unhappy, either stuck in this body, or if i modified myself then i'd lose any semblance of an actual life :/

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Typical Power

I come back after a year of vanishing, see the thread I made so very long ago, and the latest comment is someone who just now noticed there was a thread... What a strange world.

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Lord Kallarch

Greetings to all

Figured id take a step in the right direction and make a post here, hadnt seen it before today so I guess its good it was near the top of the active threads and therefore easily found.

Ive been born and raised male but my earliest memories were those of confusion as to why I had a male body. Being young and impressionable although the issue came up early on it was repressed and forbidden and as such over time I have basically been forced into the male persona to a point know that leaves me with a serious amount of confusion.

Either way although ive always wanted to be physically female I am also incredibly shy and reserved and quite terrified of society and appearing as a male in a dress. As such ive lived quite repressed and in fear. Even around those who are accepting and open my fear is palpable which is truly quite unfortunate.

Living in a working class town as a combined service firefighter/EMT-A has not made this challenge any easier. I am now at a point where I know I need to find a gender specialist and have some serious talks but I cant help but fear for my career which I am so dearly impassioned about. The thought of being able to transition and to almost find that balance within is far over shadowed by the possibility of being driven out of the job I was born to do and love with a passion.

only time will tell I figure but who knows. I figure I just need to try and be myself and avoid labels live my life how I see fit and perhaps try to become more comfortable about the inner self. Easier said than done though.

I look forward to conversing with you all and enjoying whatever it is that I may be.

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Captain Paige

I come back after a year of vanishing, see the thread I made so very long ago, and the latest comment is someone who just now noticed there was a thread... What a strange world.

Yeah sorry :/ I guess it was just buried under a lot of other posts :/

And Lord Kallarch, I sort of know how you feel, I think I may need to see a gender specialist, but theres the possibility of losing everything :/ I mean as LGB friendly as th e Heavy Metal world has become, unfortunately I don't think it's anymore transfriendly than it ever was, so, whilst all of my friends and some family know about me being trans, unfortunately my band don't, and I think I'll have to keep it that way for a while as we are in our growth stages so one slipup and its easy to just kick me out (even if I have wrote like 10 songs with them >.<) and also if those of my family who don't know find out, I could lose my job too! (I work with family) :/ not to mention those supportive friends probably wouldn't be as supportive if I ACTUALLY went for Gender Realignment :/

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Lord Kallarch

It is no easy feat living in constant fear and worry. Especially when you enjoy what you do. I have found over time that I have let my fear consume me and it has prevented me from being who I am and as such although not unhappy there have been times.

Not sure how its been for everyone but yeah pastlea7x ive found eventually ive tried to sell myself out there has always been the inner defenses but eventually we slip up and make a mistake...what happens at the point is anyones guess. Ive found most people dont tend to pick up on the little "mistakes" or they brush them off whereas ive been freaking out worrying ive just been discovered.

Either way at some point I will have to decide whether I want to live in fear or live freely and deal with the consequences of that liberation when it comes. I guess we all do to varying degrees.

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