45 years old and older HELLO is there anyone here?

[Islander9]

berrie- counts in all sorts of ways!

Have some cake (which appears to be *the* welcoming gift here.)

Cheers, kia ora, Islander9

[Animal_Headbuts]

:) Hello Oz,

Has your Asexuality caused you to remain single or have you been blessed to find a good match for a mate?

Thanks for responding. :D

Still single and resigned to staying that way :(

Hi Oz,

I was resigned for a long time too. Then I learned there were a lot of Asexuals so I felt very hopeful. My level of hope does vacilate.

I think it's just a nice way to live in sharing meals, ideas, a laugh and memories. This just seems like a way living that makes me smile.

[Animal_Headbuts]

Hi Animal_Headbuts,

I'm 55, single and fairly happy to remain so (unless Miss Right comes along).

I won't bore you with my life history (at least not yet, and not in this thread <grin>), but even as a teenager I was never that interested in girls, and although I did date one or two, there never was any thought or connection to them being potential life-partners.

Brian

Hi Brian,

well, some people are simply loners. You may very well prefer to be alone. If this is a better way of life for you, then go for it.

Not everyone who wants a roommate, partner or marriage even wants this from the opposite gender. I say this without the intension of suggesting homosexuality, although there are Asexual Gays too. I am saying sometimes Asexual people simply relate to there own gender sometimes. This may be due to the same interests since there is no sexuality being shared. Then I know of Asexuals who prefer the company of the opposite gender either because they are an Asexual heterosexual or simply more connected to the opposite gender.

I only met one guy in high school that I ever felt connected too. I felt connected more times in life with women than men. Since I have felt connected, relaxed, at home with both genders at different times, then for me it is just feeling that connection and comfort level. I also think it is easier socially if there is the opposite gender with marriage just due to our societal make-up.

[Animal_Headbuts]

AnimalHeadbuts (sorry for mis-spelling in earlier post - it was made pre-2nd cup of coffee) - many thanks for the explanation re Bunko. Sounds a lot of fun in good company...

Self: always been single, but am part of a large family(4-generational), and have a wide range of friends. Stuff I do: make a living by writing; fish; read heaps; paint & draw a bit, and dream a lot. Eat and drink a lot too. Am going to be building myself a new house in the new year, so will probably get reasonably fit again (I've been fairly sedentary for the past few years, and while I'm fond of being a blob, it does tend to limit the capacity to heave round 4x2s and handle a hammer for any length of time...)

Good to make your e-acquaintance :) - cheers/kia ora Islander9

Hya Islander9,

Well, I gained a lot of weight due to 2 nerves in each foot enlarging like tumors. Then when I finally had surgery on each foot separately, the recovery is not real quick. The initial recovery can be 2 weeks to 6 months. After this initial recovery there is a lot of internal tissue healing and relearning to walk correctly once again.

Now that I am healed pretty well and can walk pretty well, I'm going to the gym to use the treadmill daily and hope to increase the distance to 5 miles per day.

I hate being over weight because I don't like how I look or feel. The part I dislike the most is the how it effects my health and like you said.... getting around and heaving things around is not so easy.

I do mind being a blob but I know many people don't mind.

It also sounds like you don't mind being single. I've been single most of my life but I don't care for it.

Building a house? Now, that sounds exciting. That is something I think I would absolutely love doing.

[Animal_Headbuts]

brand new here, 46 years old. That counts, right?

Hello Berri,

LOL yes that counts. Of course you count silly. So share about yourself PLEASE. :D

[Islander9]

Animal_Headbuts - ouch, that nerve/ffot problem sounds...painful.

I've always been - large, so I dont mind getting a bit larger.

When osteoarthritis isnt kicking me round, I walk about 3-5 miles a day too

(beaches or along a bush road mainly). Took me a while, but I've come to enjoy walking very much.

Housebuilding; to date, I've built two sheds, a garage, and a fullsized house (that latter from the ground up, and 80% all-my-own-work), and renovated an old house.

This coming home, I'll really know what I'm doing!

Dont plan to do everything from the ground up this time (some of my musculature-turned-fat came from mixing concrete in a wheelbarrow with a shovel) but because I'm OK with hammer & saw - and enjoy that kind of work - I'll be in there. Gibbing & painting I like too.

I'm *really* fortunate because I have a younger brother who's a building contractor... :D

Cheers, kia ora Islander9

[♫el]

I've been married twice, and neither time worked out all that well. There was this little problem of sex. I kept thinking there was something wrong with me and kept trying to find cures, and it just never worked. I really tried, because I loved him and wanted to make him happy (the second one, anyway), but apparently my lack of passion was as frustrating to him as no sex at all, so we ended up splitting up.

I did get a wonderful daughter out of it, however, which I really wanted.

Right now, I have a homeless female friend staying with me most of the time. We're just friends, and it works out great for both of us. She's got a comfortable place to crash, and I get her companionship. I don't need hugs (I get plenty from my little girl). I just like to have someone around.

I tend to hang out with people in their 20's and 30's for the most part. Most of my friends were met initially through the Internet, and most people on the Internet are in their 20's and 30's, I think. Definitely younger than 40s.

I tend to have the mentality of a 21-year-old guy (minus the sex part). I like heavy metal and other loud music, crazy parties, Dungeons and Dragons, swords, geeking out on my computer (I just got a CD with old Atari games on it like Centipede and Super Breakout! W00t!) and I tend to be a slob. My idea of cooking is mac and cheese, and I consider myself a scavenger (quote: "hey, you gonna eat that?)

[Nicky]

47 years young! Where did all those years go, I wonder? Never mind - don't feel my age at all.

Nick.

[Animal_Headbuts]

I've been married twice, and neither time worked out all that well. There was this little problem of sex. I kept thinking there was something wrong with me and kept trying to find cures, and it just never worked. I really tried, because I loved him and wanted to make him happy (the second one, anyway), but apparently my lack of passion was as frustrating to him as no sex at all, so we ended up splitting up.

I did get a wonderful daughter out of it, however, which I really wanted.

Right now, I have a homeless female friend staying with me most of the time. We're just friends, and it works out great for both of us. She's got a comfortable place to crash, and I get her companionship. I don't need hugs (I get plenty from my little girl). I just like to have someone around.

I tend to hang out with people in their 20's and 30's for the most part. Most of my friends were met initially through the Internet, and most people on the Internet are in their 20's and 30's, I think. Definitely younger than 40s.

I tend to have the mentality of a 21-year-old guy (minus the sex part). I like heavy metal and other loud music, crazy parties, Dungeons and Dragons, swords, geeking out on my computer (I just got a CD with old Atari games on it like Centipede and Super Breakout! W00t!) and I tend to be a slob. My idea of cooking is mac and cheese, and I consider myself a scavenger (quote: "hey, you gonna eat that?)

El,

it sounds like you have a great and fulfilling life which I think is fantastic. I don't think most marriages with Asexuals work out very well if one is a sexual person. I know some do but I don't think most do too well.

That is just fabulous that you were blessed with a daughter from one of the marriages. I wish I would have married just for kids even if I knew it wouldn't work out. I know I decided not to due to my old fashioned back ground. Now I wish I did things a bit differently since I went into menopause so young.

ROFL, you have a homeless roomie. That's great since it seems you get along and get the extra company.

Thanks for sharing about yourself.

[Animal_Headbuts]

47 years young! Where did all those years go, I wonder? Never mind - don't feel my age at all.

Nick.

Hey Nick,

I see you can wag that doggie tail very well like a joyful puppy. Are ya gonna share about yourself? I would love to hear about you.

[therealme]

Hello Headbutt and all other friends!

So glad I've found Aven and you. I didn't even know until today that there was another way to think about myself, not just "sadly-not-interested:what's-wrong-whit-me?" This is just so uplifting...java script:emoticon(':)')

java script:emoticon(':)')

As for me, I am all of 48.

I don't know that I've always been asex... I started dating and sleeping around in my teens, if anything too early, thinking back... But by my early 30s I lost virtually all interest. Luckily -- or maybe not? java script:emoticon(':?')

java script:emoticon(':?')-- by then I had a serious, loving relationship and we went ahead and got married. I have two lovely daughters, but not everything is hanky dory because while I am "not interested", my husband still very much is. It is a credit to his love and tolerance that he has put up with my lack of interest for so long, I suppose. But, as I said before, it never dawned on me that I might just be like this by nature. I even tried psychotherapy and we went for couselling... didn't make any difference, mind you.

Well, that's enough from me. Anyone here in the same position as me?

Love to all.

Four Eyes :shock:

[Guest]

Sounds like my situation, therealme, except my husband was unfortunately unable to put up with it. We've remained best friends, and he's still technically married to me although he doesn't really live with me anymore.

Also, I've always been like this, even as a teenager. I never tried psychotherapy, but I did try a great many other "cures".

[Animal_Headbuts]

Hello therealme,

I'm glad you found this place and that it has brought you peace.

I'm not in your situation as I have never married. I do wish I had children.

[Animal_Headbuts]

Animal_Headbuts - ouch, that nerve/ffot problem sounds...painful.

I've always been - large, so I dont mind getting a bit larger.

When osteoarthritis isnt kicking me round, I walk about 3-5 miles a day too

(beaches or along a bush road mainly). Took me a while, but I've come to enjoy walking very much.

Housebuilding; to date, I've built two sheds, a garage, and a fullsized house (that latter from the ground up, and 80% all-my-own-work), and renovated an old house.

This coming home, I'll really know what I'm doing!

Dont plan to do everything from the ground up this time (some of my musculature-turned-fat came from mixing concrete in a wheelbarrow with a shovel) but because I'm OK with hammer & saw - and enjoy that kind of work - I'll be in there. Gibbing & painting I like too.

I'm *really* fortunate because I have a younger brother who's a building contractor... :D

Cheers, kia ora Islander9

Hi Islander9,

It's a very healthy thing to walk 3-5 miles per day. I've gotten myself up to 3 miles for the last 2 days. I've only been walking for a week in half. It just kills my feet and I do it within an hour so it really makes me push myself. Also, I'm doing this indoors at a gym so there is no scenery. It sounds like where you walk is a lovely walk.

The great thing about it is that severe cramping in my feet and calves doesn't happen if I do this walking. That is what I discovered.

Yep, you are right the nerve problem in my feet is very painful. Prior to surgery on both feet it was intolorable. I bet the ostioarthritus really kicks your butt with pain too.

Wow, you have done a lot of building and it sounds like it is just a blast. The renovating sounds like a lot of fun too. I know it's hard work which I don't mind. I would thing there is a lot of satisfaction as you see the nice changes you've made.

One of my brothers helped me enclose a porch at an apartment for my cats. We made it so they could see out over the fence on all 3 sides. Then we made a cat run that ran the length of the fence and gave them a nice wide corner to snuggle or stretch. After we covered the top with chicken wire so they couldn't excape we used a mesh as a very light cover to keep the direct heat of the sun off of them. This also prevented a lot of debris from entering the porch.

I prefer my cats being able to run free but they don't allow this at these apartments. Right now they mostly stay at my mother's home. This is a seniors gated community so no one drives fast and they can run around outside.

After my brother and I did all that work, I moved about 4 years later. The move was this year so I haven't decided what to create for them at this place. they won't let me do the same thing but I'll figure out something that will let them see and smell the outdoors and to be able to lounge outside.

I really enjoyed your building stories a lot.

[/b]

[Islander9]

Hey A-HB! Neat to get generous feedback! Thankyou!

Re: cats: yep, they need room to play & roam as we all do.

I was intrigued by the multiple useages you made for your animals

with help of your brother- 8)

And that your mother is prepared to help 8)

I havent 'owned' cats since I was small, but almost all family do.

And dogs. And horses, donkeys, llama, and axolotyls...

Cool!

All best to us all - kia ora, Islander0

[Ikonta]

Well, I'm over 40, always single and new here! Seems the crowd here is as varied as anywhere else. See you all around.

[littlefuzzy]

From one cat lover to another...

I am 42 and live in Cali too. I know it is hard to meet others who are around the same age and similar interests. I may be 42 but I dont look or act it, unless in a professional work environment.

littlefuzzy2000@yahoo.com

[Animal_Headbuts]

From one cat lover to another...

I am 42 and live in Cali too. I know it is hard to meet others who are around the same age and similar interests. I may be 42 but I dont look or act it, unless in a professional work environment.

littlefuzzy2000@yahoo.com

Hey Little fuzzy, I see you love cats. Me too. They are sweet and wonderful fuzzballs. I have 2 cats. My male cat thinks he is half dog.

In the past I did a lot of sports but not anymore. Now that I am recovering from surgery on both feet I am back at the gym. I need the gym badly due to the lack of activity for so long, I became pretty fat. So I go to the gym most days to drop the weight and get into shape.

Whew Hockey? That's a rough game.

Since the only sport I do now is work out at the gym, I play board games at a public gathering and am thinking of volunteering with an animal shelter.

I think you may live around 100 miles from me.

[gypsylady]

I'm 46 and live in the central part of the US. It *does* seem as if the majority of posting members are twentyish, so it's good to see some more "seasoned" folks checking in.

In the next couple of days I need to get around to posting an intro so look for me there.

[Blue Jay]

I'm 43. I'm a California native living in Ohio (long story short: lost job in the early 90s, broke and moved in with family in Ohio). I wish I knew about asexuality when I was in my 20s. It would have answered a lot of questions.

[TheSMMG]

Hi Animal Headbuts, I'm 40 but certainly don't act like it!

[VivreEstEsperer]

AH, i think i recognize your screenname. Are you on any AS sites by any chance? the former aspergia or wrongplanet?

could be wrong of course but the name seems awfully familiar :)

and welcome to AVEN!!

Kate

[Animal_Headbuts]

AH, i think i recognize your screenname. Are you on any AS sites by any chance? the former aspergia or wrongplanet?

could be wrong of course but the name seems awfully familiar :)

and welcome to AVEN!!

Kate

Yep. In fact I remember your face and first name. I also remembered you are in MD for college. 8)

[Tikva]

Okay...okay.... :roll: although I'm still new here, I'll go ahead a 'fes up. I'm a forty-something. I don't mind my age, since it IS only a number, and like many of you, I don't feel or act my age. I work with disabled kids, so they keep me thinking and acting young!

I really enjoy reading all the posts from everyone---regardless of their age or gender----I was just afraid that if I admitted to my age, the young people might say, "ugh!"......but at the same time I really am curious about those of you in my age bracket. We Do seem to have the common trait of not feeling or acting our age-----That's so, like, totally cool 8)

Tikva

[Animal_Headbuts]

Okay...okay.... :roll: although I'm still new here, I'll go ahead a 'fes up. I'm a forty-something. I don't mind my age, since it IS only a number, and like many of you, I don't feel or act my age. I work with disabled kids, so they keep me thinking and acting young!

I really enjoy reading all the posts from everyone---regardless of their age or gender----I was just afraid that if I admitted to my age, the young people might say, "ugh!"......but at the same time I really am curious about those of you in my age bracket. We Do seem to have the common trait of not feeling or acting our age-----That's so, like, totally cool 8)

Tikva

I enjoyed your post and your profile.

[Tanwen]

Thought I'd already posted but it seems not. I agree that it's liberating to realise that I'm not a freak, or abnormal or even ....(gasp) frigid.

I recently tried admitting to a male friend that I was asexual, which seemed to be the trigger to ask all sorts of personal questions. Seems hetros can't cope with the concept...but perhaps others have different experiences.

I do miss the closeness of another human being, being able to share good and bad times, sometimes just to be held - but I don't want anything more.

Anyway good to know I'm not alone, that there are people out there who understand - and like others here, although 55 (soon to be 56), my brain stopped aging at 17 (hey, that makes me relatively mature :D )

[Animal_Headbuts]

Thought I'd already posted but it seems not. I agree that it's liberating to realise that I'm not a freak, or abnormal or even ....(gasp) frigid.

I recently tried admitting to a male friend that I was asexual, which seemed to be the trigger to ask all sorts of personal questions. Seems hetros can't cope with the concept...but perhaps others have different experiences.

I do miss the closeness of another human being, being able to share good and bad times, sometimes just to be held - but I don't want anything more.

Anyway good to know I'm not alone, that there are people out there who understand - and like others here, although 55 (soon to be 56), my brain stopped aging at 17 (hey, that makes me relatively mature :D )

Dang, dang and dang it! Why don't anyyyyy of us child like fun filled Asex's live closer to each other eh?

[Shelea]

Hi from a (newly) 63yo native Californian now firmly planted in East Central Illinois and lovin' it!

After 3 failed marriages, I finally came to terms with my asexuality -- although a bit jealous of those who do truly enjoy sex. I'm much more comfortable with myself now!

What I really long for is a companion. I've tried roommates (of both genders) but it has either ended up being a kind of 'tenant/landlord' situation (you know...the divided refrigerator, different shelves in the cabinets) or house-mother, or other forms of non-companionable coexistence. Since I'm very much a home-body (not to be confused with house-proud!) it's difficult to find kindred spirits, especially after so many disappointments!

Could be something about the fact that I think (sans mirror) that I'm still a 35 year old determined to never become a 'matron.' The older I get the bigger the gulf between self-image and real image. One of these days maybe that 35 year old will simply burst out of my chest a la 'Alien.' (I could only hope...)

In the meantime, am I the only 60-something here?

[Amcan]

Hi nad welocme Shelea.

Hsve some

I think we do have some members close to you age although the census forum says we don't.

Anyway why not make your own welocme thread so we can adorn you with ?

[dyyanae]

Dang! Can't seem to get the hang of the quote function. Newbie here and a techno-curmudgeon to boot

But Welcome!

I am 47, and like Shelea came to accept my nature after a few failed marriages. I've also come to realize how much I would prefer to live on my own. There were only a few times in my life that I could do that, and I was so happy!

Things aren't horrible now, I am the caregiver for my elderly dad and we've got privacy and such worked out pretty well. But one of my life's regrets is not having lived alone longer when I was younger. Oh well.

I'm a little *unlike* Shelea though, in that I've always looked forward to my 'matron' status. Perhaps this is because, having observed my Grandparents, it seems like the society of their times allowed them to 'relax' after a certain age. And they seemed so happy about it all. They didn't get slovenly or anything like that, but they no longer worried about being judged or competeing in the sexual arena. They could just get on with their interests in life. Of course, I may be seeing this through rose colored glasses, and I have some suspician that three out of four of my granparents may have been aesexuals themselves :lol:

Anyhow,

Welcome again!