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Fellow Sexuals

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ryn2

For some reason the option not to show edits is gone, so now it flags every time I fix a typo/extra return (which is every post as I am 100% a phone user)...

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Telecaster68
1 hour ago, Apostle said:

Yeah, why is it that all politicians are dumb as a brick then?

They're not.

 

How many have you talked to directly, and seen actually sorting stuff out rather than performing for the cameras?

 

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☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
37 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

That circles back around to the whole discussion of “if sexual compatibility is very important to you, you need to assess it carefully before committing and not commit while in the NRE phase.”

 

There are lots of reasons sex might die off, or not be the same

priority to both partners:

- your partner is primarily in the relationship for other reasons

- overall loss of interest in sex (medical, emotional, medication, aging, etc.)

- partner does not find you a good fit sexually

- life demands (career, children, homeownership, etc.)

- cultural preconceptions about relationships

- mismatched orientation

- etc.

I actually can relate to this.  And I still don't know exactly what happened.  But in my last marriage I went through a large period of time (roughly 7 years) where I was completely uninterested in sex.  It started with me thinking that I just wasn't sexually experienced enough.  I had only been with one person before this.  It turned into guilt and then frustration.  I felt broken.  Towards the end of our marriage we started to explore my Bisexuality.  My husband just thought I was straight up gay.  (I'm not) But, adding women into the mix turned me right around.  And after a bit of that, I was much more comfortable with the two of us in general.  We did the open marriage thing for a few months.  This completely woke me up sexually and I was very happy in my marriage.  But my husband was not.  He became depressed.  I cut everything else out of my sex life and went back to monogomy.  And not the old pattern that we had, but one where I was very into our sex life.  But it was too late.  I tried to keep onto him for 2 more years.  But he wasn't able to recover.

 

Long story short, life is strange.

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Telecaster68
2 minutes ago, xstatic said:

 

Long story short, life is strange.

I think it's more that if you've had your sexual needs dismissed by someone for 7 years, then they get back into sex by opening the relationship and sleeping with people of the same sex, it's going to be pretty hard to feel close to them again.

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ryn2
14 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

They're not.

 

How many have you talked to directly, and seen actually sorting stuff out rather than performing for the cameras?

 

I figured I was missing some UK joke when I read the original post, because politicians aren’t all female, all young, OR all dumb...

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Telecaster68

I imagine if you think everything's a conspiracy, it helps if you think politicians are stupid as well. Though logically, they'd have to be incredibly intelligent to out think everyone.

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ryn2
8 minutes ago, xstatic said:

I was completely uninterested in sex.  It started with me thinking that I just wasn't sexually experienced enough.  I had only been with one person before this.  It turned into guilt and then frustration.  I felt broken.  Towards the end of our marriage we started to explore my Bisexuality.  My husband just thought I was straight up gay.

This above does not sound like the below:

 

5 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

you've had your sexual needs dismissed by someone for 7 years

The top sounds more like two people trying to work together through an upsetting issue.

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☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
2 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

I think it's more that if you've had your sexual needs dismissed by someone for 7 years, then they get back into sex by opening the relationship and sleeping with people of the same sex, it's going to be pretty hard to feel close to them again.

Oh I didn't dismiss his needs.  I tried my ass off.  It's just that he could tell.  Of course he could tell.  And to be fair, all of the exploratory stuff was his idea.  I wanted nothing to do with it.  But he kept pushing the idea.  So eventually I was like, fine.  Okay, let's do that then.  I think maybe he opened Pandora's box and suddenly he didn't like it anymore.  I think that he thought it would be fun for him.  But he was wrong.  

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Telecaster68

Fair enough. But he'd still had seven years of rejection, followed by 'guess what... I didn't want sex with you for seven years, but, these new people? Yes please!'

 

Not saying it was your fault, but I think it was a tad optimistic to just expect it all to be okay.

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Traveler40
2 hours ago, ryn2 said:

For some reason the option not to show edits is gone, so now it flags every time I fix a typo/extra return (which is every post as I am 100% a phone user)...

I would like to test it since I’m a 100% phone user as well and find myself making minor edits all the time.  👉🏻Anal retentive👈🏻 (As opposed to Tele’s more eloquent “pedantic antics”. 😬)

 

Yep, it’s as you state.  Officially, I loathe the change. How to give feedback?!?

Edited by Traveler40
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iff
3 hours ago, Apostle said:

No, not at all, only when we had the last of our three children. She has never taking the lead but I've dated several ladies whereby this seemed to be normal so I didn't think anymore of it at the time.

 

Brings to mind  a sentence from a Daniel woodrell novel

 

At the birth of the second child it was as though she'd broken the tape at the end of an arduous race, and would race no more, she had her trophies

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☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
4 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Not saying it was your fault, but I think it was a tad optimistic to just expect it all to be okay.

I do have a tendency to be a bit naive and overly optimistic.  That's completely true.

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alibali
3 hours ago, Apostle said:

No, not at all, only when we had the last of our three children. She has never taking the lead but I've dated several ladies whereby this seemed to be normal so I didn't think anymore of it at the time.

Reading through these forums it is quite common that many asexuals do not know that they are just that and go along with the flow, sexually that is. However, there comes a time when they may see themselves in a different light or that they change due to circumstances, like failed partnerships, having children, financial independence etc. The list is probably endless as to the reasons why. 

Personally, I think there is a genetic link with my SO as she has a brother, now 60 years old, one failed relationship in his 30's and a bachelor boy ever since. There just doesn't seem to be that sexual spark in their physiology.

I blame my MiL.😈

 

I was sex neutral when I got married and I just thought that sex was supposed to be part of life. It was only several years later that I became sex repulsed. People change.

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ryn2
12 minutes ago, Traveler40 said:

How to give feedback?!?

Maybe in Site Comments?

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Traveler40

I just used the contact us route.  Who knows, but I foresee the majority of my posts marked edited. Thanks

 

just to make my point 👇

Edited by Traveler40
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ryn2

Yeah, I can’t see when I’ve accidentally hit return until I post so I edit 50% or more (and pretty much every long one)...

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iff

Thanks, this will be looked at :)

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ryn2
5 minutes ago, iff said:

Thanks, this will be looked at :)

 

Thanks!  Whatever it is changed either overnight or this morning GMT-5... the first time I thought I hit the wrong button but nope...

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Apostle
14 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

They're not.

 

How many have you talked to directly, and seen actually sorting stuff out rather than performing for the cameras?

 

Broad terminology.

My MP is a complete self serving idiot with the charm of a serial killer.

I've met many a local councillor and most seem to be 'different' than normal people. 

I would call most of them egoists.

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Telecaster68
4 minutes ago, Apostle said:

Broad terminology.

My MP is a complete self serving idiot with the charm of a serial killer.

I've met many a local councillor and most seem to be 'different' than normal people. 

I would call most of them egoists.

I've worked alongside a lot of national politicians and councillors. Absolutely they're egotists, most of them, but that doesn't make them malign or stupid.

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Apostle
13 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

I imagine if you think everything's a conspiracy, it helps if you think politicians are stupid as well. Though logically, they'd have to be incredibly intelligent to out think everyone.

Quite, regarding the conspiracy theory of course.

Prime example of complete stupidity and downright idiocy/egoism is David Cameron giving the country a vote to leave Europe with absolutely no thought to the consequences.

He did it because his own party and therefore his leadership was being challenged by a right wing party led by a beer swilling egoist.

 

I rest my case m'lord.

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Telecaster68
1 minute ago, Apostle said:

Quite, regarding the conspiracy theory of course.

You think politicians are simultaneously stupid and incredibly intelligent?

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Apostle
13 hours ago, iff said:

Brings to mind  a sentence from a Daniel woodrell novel

 

 

 

 

 

13 hours ago, iff said:

At the birth of the second child it was as though she'd broken the tape at the end of an arduous race, and would race no more, she had her trophies

It's a sound piece of evidence I admit. Not that she wants to talk about it though.......

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Apostle
2 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

You think politicians are simultaneously stupid and incredibly intelligent?

I'd use the word 'cunning' over intelligent. These people are mostly in it for themselves. They also have to be pretty thick skinned.

There are a lot of behind the door goings on as well. I know, I've had first hand experience in blocking housing developments on school playing fields. There is a lot of skulduggery in politics. I wouldn't trust any of them to babysit, that's for sure.

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ryn2

Here some politicians use their positional influence more positively than others do but there aren’t many who are outright stupid.  The problem (here) is less often the politicians themselves and more often the citizenry and/or special interest groups who support them.

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)
14 hours ago, ryn2 said:

Yeah, I can’t see when I’ve accidentally hit return until I post so I edit 50% or more (and pretty much every long one)...

It's bugging the crap out of me too!! I make so many typos which I try to edit the moment I spot them, but I don't need everyone to know that I'm such a useless typer on mobile (and on a regular keyboard too sometimes!!)

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Traveler40
On 1/23/2019 at 3:54 AM, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:
On 1/22/2019 at 1:50 PM, ryn2 said:

Yeah, I can’t see when I’ve accidentally hit return until I post so I edit 50% or more (and pretty much every long one)...

It's bugging the crap out of me too!! I make so many typos which I try to edit the moment I spot them, but I don't need everyone to know that I'm such a useless typer on mobile (and on a regular keyboard too sometimes!!)

Someone emailed me from the admod team and said this change was before the board  and in review.  They plan to make some kind of an announcement on it soon.  Sidenote: Site comments is the preferred communication route apparently. 😬. Anyhow, here’s to hoping they go back to how it was.

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CBC

Yeah I fix typos and edit wording choices and add additional sentences and stuff all the time. Mostly it bugs me because I think people will automatically assume I back-pedalled on something and I'm changing my view or whatever haha, which is illogical to think they'd assume that, but still. I would never edit a post to say something entirely different or just to make someone else look bad.

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Sally

I don't think you have to have it appear under your post if you edit, do you?  Doesn't it ask  you if you want that known?

 

I don't know how anyone can type on their phones.  I still use one finger to type on my phone;  it would take forever to do a post and it would be completely unintelligible.  

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CBC
22 minutes ago, Sally said:

Oh I don't think you have to have it appear under your post if you edit, do you?  Doesn't it ask  you if you want that known?

It's happening automatically for a lot of us now, no choice in the matter, no box available to tick.

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