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Fellow Sexuals

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ryn2

We call sandals with a thing between the toes thongs in “my” part of the US but I’ve noticed other parts do not...

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anisotrophic
39 minutes ago, Serran said:

And there was something I said that I can't even remember what it was, that my wife told me was a naughty word in the UK and it's a perfectly innocent one here. So, I looked at her funny when she got surprised I said it

might be "fanny", that one stood out to me! :) 

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Serran
1 minute ago, anisotropic said:

might be "fanny", that one stood out to me! :) 

Ha no, I know that one (fanny packs make Brits giggle). 

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LeChat
2 hours ago, Serran said:

...there was something I said that I can't even remember what it was, that my wife told me was a naughty word in the UK and it's a perfectly innocent one here. So, I looked at her funny when she got surprised I said it ( I don't swear, so she gets surprised when I say naughty words)...

🧐 Hmm...I wonder if it's the word "bloody."

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Kimchi Peanut

@Serran I’m trying to think of what it might be. That’s going to drive me nuts.

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CBC
3 minutes ago, Graceful said:

@Serran I’m trying to think of what it might be. That’s going to drive me nuts.

Same. :D 

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Kimchi Peanut

As a fellow Brit-lover, I’ve definitely come across offensive/benign words in both directions. For example, they call seizures fits. I work in neurology so it actually comes up. I’m very uncomfortable with calling seizures “fits” but I’m not even sure they knew what else to call it. I think I’ve heard that spaz is bad there? Something to do with spasms? But I can’t remember the ones that were shockingly different.

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Serran
33 minutes ago, Graceful said:

@Serran I’m trying to think of what it might be. That’s going to drive me nuts.

I honestly don't remember.... :lol: I doubt she'd remember either. Wasn't a common one. 

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Kimchi Peanut

With some help from Google, innocuous American words that have not so innocent meanings in the UK:

Spunk(y)

Shag

Randy

Knob

Cop (I didn’t know this one until literally just now and I need to know if I need to be mortified or not but Splat’s asleep!)

Thick

Dogging

Bonk

Jock? (Not sure on this one)

Poof

 

 

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Philip027
1 hour ago, Graceful said:

As a fellow Brit-lover, I’ve definitely come across offensive/benign words in both directions. For example, they call seizures fits. I work in neurology so it actually comes up. I’m very uncomfortable with calling seizures “fits” but I’m not even sure they knew what else to call it. I think I’ve heard that spaz is bad there? Something to do with spasms? But I can’t remember the ones that were shockingly different.

This actually got Mario Party 8 in a bit of hot water across the pond:

 

tumblr_mhm83n419P1rw70wfo1_500.png

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ryn2

Some of those aren’t innocuous in the US either, at least not where I live...  e.g., (some TMI and/or offensive so I’m hiding them...):
 

Spoiler

 

Spunk - semen

Shag - to have sexual intercourse with

Randy - horny

Cop (but it might be a different non-innocuous meaning since it’s not outright shocking) - to grab, as in “cop a feel”

Bonk - same as shag

Poof - derogatory/bigoted slang for gay man

 

 

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festiff

There is an offensive term for people with cerebral palsy in the UK and Ireland but the word seems ok in the USA, could it be that word that I won't use.

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Kimchi Peanut
4 hours ago, ryn2 said:

Some of those aren’t innocuous in the US either, at least not where I live...  e.g., (some TMI and/or offensive so I’m hiding them...):
 

  Hide contents

 

Spunk - semen

Shag - to have sexual intercourse with

Randy - horny

Cop (but it might be a different non-innocuous meaning since it’s not outright shocking) - to grab, as in “cop a feel”

Bonk - same as shag

Poof - derogatory/bigoted slang for gay man

 

 

Those are the British meanings but as far as I was aware, the US ones were:

 

-Energetic and determined; someone with chutzpah

-A type of carpet or hairstyle

-A first name

-Police officer. Where I live, everyone says cop, not police officer.

-Kind of an onomatopoeia for hitting, especially on the head.

-A noise indicating sudden disappearance

 

33 minutes ago, iff said:

There is an offensive term for people with cerebral palsy in the UK and Ireland but the word seems ok in the USA, could it be that word that I won't use.

Forgive me if it is offensive there but I believe that might be spaz? It has nothing to do with cerebral palsy here. It’s a personality description meaning hyperactive and prone to energetic outbursts. I’ve known people to use it to describe themselves in a positive way and even had a friend once whose self-identified nickname was Spaz.

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festiff
2 minutes ago, Graceful said:

 

Forgive me if it is offensive there but I believe that might be spaz? It has nothing to do with cerebral palsy here. It’s a personality description meaning hyperactive and prone to energetic outbursts. I’ve known people to use it to describe themselves in a positive way and even had a friend once whose self-identified nickname was Spaz.

Yes that is the word and the longer version too.

 

In school, it had been also a term used by a bully against me.

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Kimchi Peanut
Just now, iff said:

Yes that is the word and the longer version too.

 

In school, it had been also a term used by a bully against me.

😨 I’m sorry. I don’t even know what the longer version is. I hope I haven’t offended you.

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alibali

Spaz = spastic. Rarely used in the UK now.

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ryn2
2 hours ago, Graceful said:

Those are the British meanings but as far as I was aware, the US ones were:

The US meanings you listed are indeed used but the ones I listed are (in my part of the US) amongst the slang meanings as well.  It’s like “pork” - officially it’s the meat of a pig, and it’s also political slang for certain types of funding, but it’s also a slang synonym for shag.  Depending on your audience, using the official meaning will elicit snickers.

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ryn2
4 hours ago, alibali said:

Spaz = spastic. Rarely used in the UK now.

When I was a kid it was used this way in the US too - as an offensive term (and also a correct medical term, in the long version) for people with conditions like CP, epilepsy, essential tremor, etc., that caused jerking or “puppetlike” movement.  I can’t say it’s never used that way now but it seems to be used more often in the way mentioned above... to mean hyperactive and a bit clumsy.

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festiff
4 hours ago, Graceful said:

😨 I’m sorry. I don’t even know what the longer version is. I hope I haven’t offended you.

No, I'm not offended 

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Apostle
On 2/19/2019 at 12:02 AM, ryn2 said:

 

x

 

 

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Apostle
On 2/28/2019 at 8:22 AM, disGraceful said:

 

x

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Philip027

Over here in the US, it's usually just a term used for someone that's particularly prone to physical hyperactivity (often things like kids and dogs, because of how they typically are).  It doesn't have nearly the same level of negative connotation, which is probably why whoever put it in Mario Party 8 probably thought nothing of it.

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ryn2
1 hour ago, Apostle said:

Waste of time and effort if the asexual is in denial or does not want to talk.

The point of couples therapy is largely learning how to talk to one another.

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ryn2

Also, not sure if that’s what you meant since you did say “usually,” but CP isn’t really a mental disability in the usual sense.  It’s a movement disorder.  Some people with CP also have intellectual disabilities but many do not.

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Telecaster68
1 hour ago, ryn2 said:

The point of couples therapy is largely learning how to talk to one another.

They both have to want to talk though. This is far from a given with many asexuals.

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festiff
1 hour ago, ryn2 said:

Also, not sure if that’s what you meant since you did say “usually,” but CP isn’t really a mental disability in the usual sense.  It’s a movement disorder.  Some people with CP also have intellectual disabilities but many do not.

Yes, for me cerebral palsy affects my co-ordination a little bit as it is damage to the basal ganglia, which acts as the coordination switchboard of the brain.

 

The intelligence part of the brain is not affected. The perception that some people have that it does, does annoy me.

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ryn2
52 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

They both have to want to talk though. This is far from a given with many asexuals.

It’s far from a given with one party in many relationships, asexual/sexual or not.

 

In the original context (this was quoted from over a month ago) the couple in question was struggling with effective communication.  Couples counseling could potentially help with that.

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ryn2
39 minutes ago, iff said:

The intelligence part of the brain is not affected. The perception that some people have that it does, does annoy me.

To that point, I should probably also have expressly stated that - when people who have CP also have intellectual disabilities - the two things may (or may not) result from one event... but even when they do, CP itself isn’t the cause of those intellectual disabilities.

 

So, that perception is not only annoying but also completely inaccurate.

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Telecaster68
1 hour ago, ryn2 said:

It’s far from a given with one party in many relationships, asexual/sexual or not.

True, and I know you were the one trying to establish communication in your own case, but my perception is that more often, it's the sexual partner who wants to talk, and the asexual who doesn't. It makes sense: the sexual partner wants something to change (the lack of sex/desire), so needs to initiate dialogue. The asexual partner doesn't need to talk beyond 'no', because that will sustain a situation they're less unhappy with than actually having sex.

 

In those circumstances, it may be that the asexual has a good reason for not wanting to talk, and not wanting to take part in counselling, particularly if they see it as an effort to get them 'healed'.

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ryn2
17 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

True, and I know you were the one trying to establish communication in your own case, but my perception is that more often, it's the sexual partner who wants to talk, and the asexual who doesn't. It makes sense: the sexual partner wants something to change (the lack of sex/desire), so needs to initiate dialogue. The asexual partner doesn't need to talk beyond 'no', because that will sustain a situation they're less unhappy with than actually having sex.

 

In those circumstances, it may be that the asexual has a good reason for not wanting to talk, and not wanting to take part in counselling, particularly if they see it as an effort to get them 'healed'.

Ultimately, regardless, a relationship where the partners struggle to communicate effectively (and where there are any significant issues) is likely doomed.

 

The hard part is that - in a lot of situations - talking feels like “doomed now” (which makes sense because it sometime is exactly that) whereas not talking feels like “maybe not doomed later.”  It’s easy to hope something will forestall doom before later comes.

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