Could my fantasies mean I am man inside or transsexual?

[Putli]

I am a butch asexual lesbian and I guess I have some stereotypical masculine interests. I often get strong feelings for girls and have some romantic fantasies about them which aren't too sexual. But in almost all fantasies,I imagine myself more as a masculine object, more like a man in the relationship. I don't think I am unhappy being female, but I do think I am not like a typical femme woman. I am recently getting quite confused about my feelings. Could I be some man inside? Could I be trangendered?

[TheLocalDinosaur]

This sounds very similar to my situation. I'm not lesbian, but I am often mistaken for one due to my more masculine appearance (short hair, boy clothes, interests, etc.). I get sterotyped, but maybe I can relate. I've never wanted to accept and embrace my femininity (much to my mother's disappointment), and I have made it very well known that I do not like dresses, skirts, the terms boyfriend and girlfriend, etc. I just don't really like the concept of gender at all, so I guess I could be considered somewhat androgynous.

Just yesterday I told my mom that I didn't like being a girl and that I'd probably rather be a guy, because of societal benefits and also that I just identify with males more than females. She freaked out and said, "So what, you want to get a sex change?!" I told her "no," because it wouldn't change my genetics, and just because I want to be male doesn't mean I won't cope with being female.

So does fantasizing about yourself as a male make you transgender? I think that depends on how you feel. If you feel that you are really a man trapped in a woman's body, I suppose it would. The lines of transgender have always been a little hazy to me, and honestly I'd like to know what the word means in my situation as well. :P All women are different. I know I feel sometimes that all women have to be feminine, but you can still be very womanly and masculine at the same time. :) I hope I could help!

[sindi]

You are the only one who can really know, after all...

But I guess that sexual fantasies can be quite random - they don't necessarily mean anything. I barely have sexual fantasies myself, but a few times I've had something that maybe counts as such (something that popped into my mind when I masturbated, the rare times when masturbation felt like something), and they've been absolutely bizarre (one included a lot of girls made of modeling clay, melting together into a big, shapeless pile ). I'd be quite worried if that kind of fantasies would tell something about my true self ;)

I think that the thing that matters is how you feel about yourself IRL - do you feel male? If you imagine, that your body & appearance would perfectly match the way you see yourself - would it be a man?

This sounds very similar to my situation. I'm not lesbian, but I am often mistaken for one due to my more masculine appearance (short hair, boy clothes, interests, etc.). I've never wanted to accept and embrace my femininity (much to my mother's disappointment), and I have made it very well known that I do not like dresses, skirts, the terms boyfriend and girlfriend, etc. I just don't really like the concept of gender at all, so I guess I could be considered somewhat androgynous.

I feel absolutely similarly about the concept of gender, and in my case it makes me genderless(/neutrois)...

[Vinita]

I wouldnt say you are transsexual from whatever you have mentioned since you say clearly that you identify as female comfortably. What you like has nothing much to do with what your internal identity is. I am straight female but I have also had desire to be man and just a couple days back, i met a guy who says he is comfortable as guy but wishes he were girl. I just think gender and sexuality both are extremely fluid concepts. We have people who dont at all have problems fitting into stereotypes, but many do, without it being a transgender issue.

[Vinita]

I know I feel sometimes that all women have to be feminine, but you can still be very womanly and masculine at the same time. :) I hope I could help!

You are not correct with that. Women dont have to be feminine and men dont have to be masculine. One who does not follow the stereotypes is not necessarily transgender either. I am full butch, in and out, but I am still comfortable identifying as woman. Just that I would like to be seen with a manly style on a female body. I guess thats really not transgender but gender expression?

[Pandoren]

I've heard of the term "autoandrophilia" (auto = self, andro = male, philia = sexual?) which is where a woman imagines herself as a man in sexual fantasies. Maybe that helps?

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

lol I get that sometimes too and i can be pretty girly sometimes. I used to think I was meant to be a boy and if I were born a boy I wouldnt feel much different to how i do now. But I dont yearn to be a male also I like guys more often than girsl with a ratio of 3:1 corresponding to attractions to males and females respectively. So I'm almost even, but think female is easier for if i like guys more (I like manly guys and effeminate girls). I think I'm the kind of person who feels male, female or neither/both at random points (trigender or gender fluid or whatever). So thats how I explain it. In relationships, I normally take the manly role with decisions and protecting and such even the way I hold people when lying down is more manly on my part than the other. But right now I think being asexual is linked to my not being constrained by the social norms of gender. When I 'feel' female its more because Im feeling to act in ways socially considered effeminate so in that case my gender doesnt change as much but my identity will be fluid with my 'mood' and this will reflect different aspects of my being corresponding to whatever gender (stereotype) I describe myself by.

In my case I've realised I'd be this way regardless of my body. It would be eaiser if I were intersex. I tell people Im intersex when they wont leave me alone and take asexual as reluctant or inexperienced. hehe

Anyway I know that was just all about me but the point i wanted to higlight was its how YOU see yourself. Just because you fantasis about being male doesn't mean you definatly want to be male. I think seriously asking yourself and giving it time will let you know. If you can tolerate your body, feel like its yours, but dont like the nasty female things we deal with physically or the social issues we get and sexual insecurity we deal with (ie rape threat) then I'd say those wouldnt immediately indicate you were supposed to be a dude. Sometimes I absent mindedly go for a waz and wonder why I can't go standing up; as if Im used to standing up... Dunno why, standing up would be easier though what with my germ phobia... But yeah, even that doesnt mean I want a wang... All I can say is maybe, maybe not. You will figure yourself out in time I am pretty sure. But if you swing from feeling in the right body to in the wrong one you might be like me and I personally put that down to fluidity of gender (and sexuality as I am more likely to like guys when feeling like a chick and more to like girls when feeling like a dude, and androgynous types when neither/both for some reason lol).

[rahuls]

I entirely agree with vinita and qwan. I am biromantic ace guy and sometimes I feel quite girly when I develop feelings for guys. I almost feel as if I would be better off as girl (I mean, the effeminate mannerisms and all are quite cute lol). Again with the girls, I never feel that way, I in fact butch up quite automatically. I do think sexuality and gender issues are quite fluid and need not be strictly labeled for everyone. Liking gender mannerisms of the opposite gender is natural for quite many people and that necessarily does not imply transgenderism (unless you just keep thinking that males should be MASCULINE and females should be FEMININE). If you feel aligned with your body well and are comfortable identifying as female without hassles, except some of those fantasies, I would say you are not the least transgendered but just are a person who loves exploring a lot more than an average person. And your lesbianism feeds into this desire to expand your horizons even more.

Just think, it might be more common than you probably ever imagined to be.

[sindi]

(I like manly guys and effeminate girls).

Lol, I for one like effeminate guys and manly girls or something XD XD

And I guess I could also describe myself as somewhat genderfluid, if genderless wouldn't describe me much better :) Anyway, I can totally relate to that my masculine/feminine features might alternate radically according to my mood and the situation I'm in :P

For instance, the way how I behave when I'm upset is very masculine I guess (this whole feminine/masculine-deal is quite unclear to me, but I try to grasp it XD). I think the more typical feminine way to deal with anger is to yell/nag/complain (something verbal anyway) and stay around but act up. Also... maybe "getting angry" is somehow more gradual for women? For me, I usually get very angry at once (not gradually... ), probably say something short but savage (or nothing at all) and then leave the place to ponder over the thing alone. At first I have some overly furious thoughts going on, but then I calm down and make some decisions how to fix the issue on my part, or how to express my stance as simply but strongly as possible. I hate "talking things through", which is a downside I guess...

Also, I often take the protective role...

But on the other hand I have some most girly interests, like the love for everything cute, collecting dolls... etc And I'm very sensitive, even vulnerable about certain things, way more intuitive than rational...

It keeps on varying which features are more "on the surface", and which ones lay dormant in the depths

[Sammie]

I see you've set your gendermarker to male. So do you think you are transgendered?

There are plenty of women, especially butch lesbian, who like taking a role in relationships that society would describe as being 'the man' in the relationship.

But then, there are also a few rare women, especially butch lesbians, who are not women at all and eventually realise they are straight men.

So there's no clear answer.

I'd say trust your heart. If you could change your body at will and no one in the world would judge you for it, which body would you choose?