How do you know you're romantic/aromantic?

[eee]

Ok i have recently came out as a aromantic and asexual............I still have a sex drive but just can't put a person in my brain because intimacy is so unappealing almost to the point of gagging. I see the world as a platonic, happy and positive place. I have lots of friends where I do best express emotions by intellect and daily interactions. I hardly form attachments with anyone in general so freedom is my best gift to friends. I can say I love my friends but I never miss or need anyone. Back in the days (26 now) I have dated and had relationships like everyone else, I thought it was normal to do so. I was never happy and complete in relationships even in the best of companies. I always value me and myself relationship first . The thought of me might end up with a soul mate or the one saddens me because I see single life as the most loving experience. People who crave romance and love get that sad feeling when they are alone, I am the opposite. The best of my life is my single life. I was quite the popular targeted mate on the market. But the thought of being with someone has always bothered me. No it's not that I haven't met the right one, I made him leave so I can be with myself. I am not a narcissist because I appreciate my friends and treasure other things. I just don't see myself being an attractive female and have absolutely not the slightest desire to meet anyone except good friends to hang out with. I hope to God no one will ever get attracted to me or fall in love with me, I don't like dramas, emotions and disappointing people. I love music, art, writing, having crazy fun with my friends and jokes. Emotions also make me uncomfortable even if my friends lay their heads on my shoulder. I guess any kind of human touch sends chill down my spine. I love fashion and looking nice, but no to anyone or men. In my eyes, the perfect world I would be in is where no one is attracted to anyone, we are just one peaceful, platonic, neutral happy community with lots of activities and sports going on. I am so deep in this habit and mentality that I am starting to behave neither masculine or feminine and frankly I don't care what people think but I know they judge anyway. I don't want to judge others and bent their ways to comprehend mine, I love people and culture and would like to spend the rest of my life this way, happy, learning, exchanging and seeing the world. I do think there are people who can relate to me.

[Amedot]

Figuring out the romantic/aromantic stuff was far more difficult than realizing I was asexual.

Though I could identify as biromantic, I'm currently identifying with aromantic as I've no desire to be in a relationship... I can't even understand relationships, really.

It is possible to be a grey a/romantic, or a demiromantic.

I seem to be demiromantic with one gender, and grey towards the other... Confusing...

The term 'aromantic' just seems easier than trying to explain the mess of what I feel. I have no desire for a conventional relationship, and my infatuations are rare, infrequent, and pass quickly. Should I meet someone and we both like eachother, we both want the same things in a relationship, I'm not going to avoid it because I currently identify as aromantic, I'll go for it. But really, the chances of me finding another ace, one who doesn't want your conventional, dedicated relationship, and then, the chances of both of us liking eachother? Pretty much nonexistant. On top of that, I fail to see WHY people want to be in a relationship.... It's going to end, sooner or later! And most people can't be friends after that. Why would I want to guarantee losing a neat person who I get along with?

[Kalea]

People, even people I love, start to annoy me at some point and I don't want to spend too much time with them

Ohhhh yeah. Totally get that. You're special indeed if I can spend hours on end with you without feeling like you're annoying me and/or infringing on my personal space. (That's a generic "you", in case someone was wondering!)

[templecat]

I'm sort of in the middle between aromantic and romantic. I've only ever experienced one instance in which I wanted to be with someone in the sense of a significant other or companion (granted I was in high school so I guess the correct term should be boyfriend, but I've never liked the terms boyfriend or girlfriend. They've always sounded a bit silly to me, or at least when I tried to use them). I'm still good friends with this person and so I still experience some feelings beyond friendship, but not like before where I wanted to date them. I've also never experienced this feeling with anyone else. I guess I'm just really, really selective? :P

[Hot_Air_Balloons]

Hey I had no idea so many people had the same dream as me, having bunches of friends, of just a best friend! Cool to know!!!

As far as figuring out if you are aromantic or romantic, you could be somewhat in the middle. I would say if you feel like you want a relationship then you are probably romantic. If you really just want a best friend I suppose that's more aromantic. But it's up to you how you label yourself.

[Siggy]

I am having this exact same problem. I have no idea whether I am heteroromantic or aromantic.

This sentence jumped out at me, because it framed it as a problem. I think It's totally okay to be confused about one's romantic orientation. If you're neither completely romantic nor aromantic, that's okay.

Since I joined AVEN, I shifted my identity from aromantic to something way more muddled. I feel so much better this way, like I can do whatever the hell I want and see if I like it.