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How social are you?


Justin Sane

How social are you?  

1 member has voted

  1. 1.

    • I am gregarious
      11
    • I am fairly social
      71
    • I am anti-social
      88
    • I am misanthropic
      37

This poll is closed to new votes


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I also couldn't decide what to check, because anti-social has the wrong connotation.

I put fairly social, although intermittently social might be more accurate.

When I'm with other people I normally act quite outgoing and chatty, and I genuinely enjoy it for a time. It IS just an act, however, and eventually I find it exhausting, both physically and emotionally. After socializing I have to have time alone to calm down or I become very irritable, :evil: or avoidant to the point that I will simply leave the house for a day or so, if all else fails. My husband, poor baby, has learned not to bother me when I'm in that kind of mood. (:roll: at myself.)

Chameleonperson, I know what you mean about initiating IMs. (I'm the same way, but even worse, with phone calls!) It is very difficult for me to do so, and if I work up enough nerve to do it and then get brushed off it's ten times harder to do it again - even though I know, rationally speaking, that people can get busy and that what I perceive as disinterest probably isn't intended that way at all. That feeling of being an intruder is just SO much stronger than any logic that I can apply toward defeating it, I usually just give up and hope that my friends will eventually want to talk to me.

And sometimes I get lucky! :wink:

-Greybird

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When I'm with other people I normally act quite outgoing and chatty, and I genuinely enjoy it for a time. It IS just an act, however, and eventually I find it exhausting, both physically and emotionally. After socializing I have to have time alone to calm down or I become very irritable, :evil:

Boy, that is me to a 't'.

I recently realised I only spend about 9 hours a week around other people. Eight of those hours are on Sunday at the bookshop and that 8 hours just about kills me. I don't know what I would do if I had to see people every day all day. Probably have to take up the 'recreational pharmacueticals'.

Cate

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Boy, that is me to a 't'.
Ditto. That's me too. But I do have to work surrounded by others, and yes it drains me. The question is, how do you earn a salary *and* manage to avoid people? I wish I knew the answer to that one :)
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Me four. After I get done hanging out with people, I just have to shut out the rest of the world for awhile. Go upstairs, turn on the computer, close the door, and the hours just fly by...

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I like people only because I like to study them, in a way. I converse and interact socially, but I still feel more like an outside observer than a social being.

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I'm fairly much a keep to myself type. Most of the people I call friends are more like acquaintances, and they're mostly work related. I'm not an unfriendly person-I just don't get a charge out of spending time with others the way some do. It's actually more draining than anything else. By the end of a day at work the last thing I want to do is see or talk to anyone for a while. Give me a few days of no contact and I might feel like visiting my mom or dad but that's about it.

I know what you mean greybird, I kind of think of it as self hypnosis-if the customer acts positively I can kick start myself into a temporary sociable mood. I blame the years I spent in retail, I'd have gone bonkers if I didn't have coping mechanisms. Mhmmm-pharmaceuticals...I wish.

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As much as I wish I could, I can't be sociable. I don't get on with people that well at all. I find it really hard to talk about things, unless it happens to be something that I'm especially interested in. If I mees someone who is a big sci fi fan I can (and do) talk for hours, but generally I run out of things to say after a few minutes. I would really like to learn how to have a proper conversation though. My family says i tend to talk 'at' people about whatever I'm into and don't care what they want to talk about. That's probably an exageration, but thats what they say

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The question is, how do you earn a salary *and* manage to avoid people? I wish I knew the answer to that one :)

I did it. But, to be fair, I spent about 20 years or so establishing a reputation and building up a clientelle before I moved out to the middle of nowhere, where I now make the customers come to me.

(I'm a bird taxidermist, and I'm the only nationally recognized one in my entire state.)

That occupation won't work for most people, though, so the questions to ask yourself are these:

What are you good at doing?

What standard of living do you need or wish to have? (This determines how much you must earn.)

How hard and how long are you willing to work in a more public setting to get the credentials you want?

Are you prepared to seek more education if it proves necessary?

Are you willing to relocate?

That's just a start, but if you seriously wish to live away from people and still earn a living it is certainly possible. You just have to plan for it and be willing to make whatever sacrifices are needed to get it.

Home businesses are becoming increasingly common, and many of them need little more than a good phone/internet connection and an address that delivery trucks can find. That, and a proprietor who can keep motivated without a boss standing by. It isn't easy.

-Greybird

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quietbraggadocio

I can interact with people rather well, and do, but in truth I'd rather not. Most people bore me and I seek out people that are very bizarre, or highly individualistic. The only problem is I have to find these people among everyone else. I go to a drinking suitcase college in Texas, so something like 70% of the students go to the christian fellowship thing. I'm a Quaker, but I associate better with the Student Pagan Association (In fact, I'm the treasurer), under their 'minority religions' clause.

The friends I have now are creative enough to come up with 'box of wine wednesdays', but being a nondrinker, its sort of a moot point. Once I get a tightnit group of well selected friends I usually work great with them, but overall I'm natually antisocial.

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I think anti-social was used properly. Lets see:

From Dictionary.com:

1. Shunning the society of others; not sociable.

2. Hostile to or disruptive of the established social order; marked by or engaging in behavior that violates accepted mores: gangs engaging in vandalism and other antisocial behavior.

Oxford Dictionary:

1. harmful to the existing social order. 2. not sociable.

I think that pretty much implies what people are referring to. I guess its kind of like the word asexual, with one primarily used definition and then another one.

As for me, misanthropic and anti-social/unsocial, though one is not necessarily the cause of the other.

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Thanks Janedoe, I don't feel so chastised now :lol:

Greybird, I'd be interested to know whether you planned for a lone job, or it just happened by accident? I've thought of working for myself for quite some time now, and given the chance I would go for it. But I can't do that until I spot an "opening" or acquire the necessary skills.

I'd gladly forfeit a high salary, I know that. Just the stress relief of being left to my own devices would be reward enough.

I imagine motivation might be hard at times, but the benefits would be motivation enough in the long run.

It's just a shame any home business opportunities advertised in the press are blatant rip offs :roll:

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I think anti-social was used properly. Lets see:

From Dictionary.com:

1. Shunning the society of others; not sociable.

2. Hostile to or disruptive of the established social order; marked by or engaging in behavior that violates accepted mores: gangs engaging in vandalism and other antisocial behavior.

Oxford Dictionary:

1. harmful to the existing social order. 2. not sociable.

I think that pretty much implies what people are referring to. I guess its kind of like the word asexual, with one primarily used definition and then another one.

I guess you can use it. I think it just really grates my nerves, because "anti" implies that you must be against, and I think, hatefulness mostly. It would not bother me, except I have been labelled anti-social so much that I just feel it is taking it a step too far. I am not antisocial, I just have an avoidant personality. It's kind of like being labeled a "goth", I think ... I just don't know the meaning of these words, so I don't want people calling me by them...it's just irritating.

But also, dictionaries don't know everything. Some words are not real words at all, but have become so over time, and people use different definitions that some would not concider proper. All in all, I suppose it is up to individual discretion.

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Oh I get what you're saying cait. I was just trying to show that a case can be made for it. I can understood not wanting to associate with a word that has negative connotations to it.

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I'm fairly social... ...But i'm far short of Ger...oh heck, that G one.

I am very surprised with that Wombat!, i would have thought you were the most gregarious of us all!, just look at your picture! (but then again, looking at mine, and I voted gregarious). Maybe you are E-gregarious.

I am gregarious. I am known to most people in the town, everyone in my old secondary school, and most people at my old college. I am the person who walks up to you/your group and starts talking. Or the person you hear shouting something very silly/abstract at the top of his/her voice in a croud/street/room/etc...

Some people dont like it tho, some people seem to hate that im so forward, giving me evil eyes and looking down their noses. The problem is that I think that a lot of people think that people like me are forward because they want to get in your pants, which sucks.

Ben Ken

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Ditto. That's me too. But I do have to work surrounded by others, and yes it drains me. The question is, how do you earn a salary *and* manage to avoid people? I wish I knew the answer to that one

Why, there's lots of things that can be done from home (if arranged properly)

I'd often think I'd like to become a programmer that works from home. Yeah, never having to make contact with people unless I wanted to.

My social life is entirely internet-based. I just don't get along with the children of my area. Or any area for that matter. Hah.

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I am not a misanthrope. In the words of Swift, my so-called misanthropy is "provoked by the constant spectacle of creatures capable of reason, and therefore reasonable conduct, stead-fastly refusing to live up to their capabilities."

There is nothing more infuriating to an idealist than to see other people pissing on their ideals.

The fact that i'm also painfully shy and feel out of place among others, esp. when i can't join in their conversations about how many they pulled last night, is beside the point!

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i chose anti-social

and justin shane...i thoroughly understand your words...and i share deep empathy with it.

being sociable, doesn't mean that you have to talk about sex.

My bro accused me of being anti-social...but i thought..no im not anti- social.. you THINK i'm because i dun share the same interest as you do and thereofre, it seedm to be me who is offending YOU!

Why dont they change the perspective and try to find resemblance with us instead?

i am very happy to chat about anything, apart from sex.

i find it just annoying to repeat sexual things that would mean nth after the whole discussion, unless you're a hookerand need it for your job info.

i have a feeling that every sex intercourse is the same...the guy pushes his penis in nad move it around.

it;s just repetitive...and repetitive =boredom

if i only wished that i knew a superior who was al;so asexual

i do beleive that asexuals find it easier to view things objectively...because sex and intimate things dun bother them that readily

for example, i was in univeristy last eyar and joined rugby...

i have a better physique buildup and fitness, and of coruse clean..but i was even placed to play for the team, instead.. these..i find perverts get to play so often... even when they watch bestality things and smoke marijuana...

it IS UNFAIR, but then...waht cna i actually do to remedy the situation?

I thinkthey realise th erpoblem, but the fact is that..i dun find joy in chatting about sex films... what is SO enjoyable about PORN?!

to me, sex should maybe be elft inside bedroom between you and your partner...talking about it public, is just gossiping and evealuating another person's physical attributes in a harsh and unforgivable way.

being an asexual means to be a totally clean perosn and being able to have full autonomy over my life.

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I chose antisocial because it was the closest. I am an introvert (was INTJ in Myers Briggs and am now INFJ) and shy and slow to make real friends. If I do consider someone a friend and feel emotionally safe around them then I enjoy talking. I often say that I don't take my pleasures from reality (taking them more from books or movies or my own imagination). Yet one of the things that I enjoy the most about reality is having an interesting discussion with friends. Like many here; I want the talk to be more than just small talk. I like philosophy and psychology (I can be a non-social people watcher :? ).

Related to this is that today when I told my counselor about being asexual; he wondered if it was me being schizoid (lacking in emotional reactions to others as a form of covering up their oversensitivity to others' attitudes). I think the idea of asexual is just hard for even professionals in psychology to accept.

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JustinSane-

Greybird's said it all re practically finding non-salaried (maybe home-based) work.

I worked in over 20 different (mainly shit) jobs, before what I *really* wanted to do became possible. You may be discouraged to learn it took me until I was 36...

21 years later, I'm not wealthy but I live a rich life.

It truly is a matter of finding out what you really *need*, what you can do

(that local society rewards, one way of the other) and what you *want* -

and all the very best to you in attaining that - cheers/kia ora Islander9

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  • 3 weeks later...

I guess I'm a sort of wannabe social! I wouldn't consider myself unsocial because I enjoy spending time with people though I also love time on my own too.

In the past Ive tended to be quite avoidant because of social anxieties, Ive also had difficulty finding people that I can fit in with, I've tried the whole mainstream alcohol + clubbing thing but I can't drink due to allergies and people always gave me a hard time about it. A while ago I decided I would rather be alone than trying to fit in with people who didn't accept me as I am - hmm maybe I am unsocial after all :)

Having said that I would love to have more friends, but I'd rather hold out until I find people that I have things in common with and can do things we both/all enjoy.

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I voted for gregarious - yep, that's me. Very chatty and love to engage people in all forms of radiant conversation. In fact I often go a bit too far, and then I become a nuisance...blathering away. But, I can be quite happy sitting at a keyboard, still chattering away to all and sundry, remotely. There's no escape...

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I voted fairly social. I have many aquaintances and friends that I usually see at the coffee shop. I do not really have many visitors though. Maybe a few close friends drop by for tea or coffee every so often. For the most part it is just me and my cats here. :) This is because I concider my home a place for me to get away from the world and have solitude. I do love solitude. :) Being around people all of the time would be too draining for me. :shock:

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sorry if i am stupid, but what is gregarious????

gregarious --

a : tending to associate with others of one's kind : SOCIAL;

b : marked by or indicating a liking for companionship : SOCIABLE

(Source: Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary)

I'm an introvert, I live alone, I tend to be solitary. But I do go out with friends from time to time, and at work during breaks and lunch I will associate with co-workers, to the point of sometimes accompanying them out to the smoking area to chat even though I don't smoke. So while I'm not gregarious, I'm not anti-social either.

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I like what Marc had to say. Though I voted "fairly social" because I also misunderstood the "antisocial" choice (have a degree in Psychology, what can i say), I can identify with *asocial*.

I like people but have a very hard time making friends. I would love to have a couple of close friends...

I too have trouble with social anxieties. When I was at college the main thing that helped me make friends was drinking at parties (social lubrication). Since then it has seemed that what friends/acquaintances I did have became more and more busy, and finally I was totally left out (in their defense I am the type of friend that wants to get together maybe once a month). And now the occasional person i meet who i'd like to get to know better has family responsibilities and no time for new friends.

For the moment I've lucked into a work situation that suits me well. My main coworker is my exboyfriend (we're already good friends) and I don't have to interact too much with other people. So I'm happy for now (and feel fortunate).

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