Somewhere Between Here And There

[PearBeBeautiful]

I am new to the site, and like many, I am seeking answers. At nineteen, I find myself trying to establish who I am. Recently, questions about my own "sexuality" have left me feeling very lost and confused.

As a born-again Christian, I was taught that God created a man and a woman to be together. I was also taught that homosexuality was wrong. I can accept these things...what others choose to do is their business and not my own. I'm not qualified to judge anyone.

But what happens when you are not inclined one way or the other? I remember at one point telling one of my close friends that I wouldn't mind NOT having sex on my honeymoon. (The discussion at the time was marriage.) She looked at me as if I had lost my mind.... In all truth, the idea sexual activity of any kind does not appeal to me. I instead, desire companionship and a closeness with someone- a fufilling relationship.

I do feel "attracted" to others sometimes...simply thinking to myself, "He's nice or I'd like to get to know her better etc. etc." But if it came down to it, and I was asked to engage in sexual activity, I would more likely than not, decline. Frankly put, the idea of such an act to some degree, repulses me. Is this what some would define as asexuality? Or low sex drive?

Some of you may laugh at this post. Countless people come here-some out of blatant curiosity, others out of need. I am one of the latter. I suppose in a way, I am looking for someone who might offer some prospective, some remnant of reason or validation. I need to know that I am not alone...and that what I feel or have come to understand is not mere absurdity.

[Ineptitude]

Welcome! You do sound like a lot of people around here, but for definitions and such you can look at the information page. Most posts of this nature are in the Welcome Area, so you may want to consider moving this post there. And don't worry; we rarely laugh at people, and you're not alone.

Anyway, welcome! I hope you find whatever you're looking for.

[cijay]

I'm not qualified to judge anyone.

nor am I, so I can't answer

But what happens when you are not inclined one way or the other?

I'm just glad you're here :)

[dabishop]

But if it came down to it, and I was asked to engage in sexual activity, I would more likely than not, decline. Frankly put, the idea of such an act to some degree, repulses me. Is this what some would define as asexuality? Or low sex drive?

Yes.

It's an awkward bind that our families and peers place us in, isn't it? It seems like having no sexual attraction or wish to get things on, even in the context of marriage, can moot the whole Christian idea of sacrifice inherent in celibacy or abstinence-before-marriage. That, to me, is the main reason why asexuality is something different and quite a bit thornier. That said, I don't think this makes being asexual incompatible with the Christian life. Either way, as you'll no doubt find in many other posts, only you can decide if our scribblings make sense in your life right now. But for now, be welcome and see what you can see.