Tavi Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Sorry to post this outside the all-about-binders thread that already exists, but I thought this might not be noticed otherwise. I've got some atypical questions here. OK then. So, I've researched and scoped out binders quite a bit, and I think getting one could have a big positive impact on my life / self esteem and other good stuff. I'm an agender-minded, asexual, androgynous to the max sorta person (not to be hypocritical by labeling myself, but I find these words liberating as they accurately describe me.) Appearing male or female causes me lots of stress, and makes me feel completely wrong, like I'm getting stuffed into a box. All the good stories I've read about binders have encouraged me to try one out and hopefully increase my androgynousness. Enough exposition, here are my actual questions: 1) Can you wear a plain t-shirt over a good binder without being given away? I mean, without it looking like you've got a bulky bra on, or breasts of course. If it looks like an undershirt or is undetectable, that's good. As much as I love button-up shirts (they are wonderfully androgynous and concealing) I would enjoy some variety that is not so hot in the summer. 2) I haven't had a need or an opportunity to talk to my family about my agenderness and identity and so on, and it's not quite right the right time yet. I really hope to tell them one day, but not now. So I'd like to get my binder in the mail as discreetly as possible. I don't want the delivery truck to come while I'm out and leave a big box with, like, a really give-away title or something on it. >____< That would be too abrupt. I'm going to be ordering several other things at the same time, so hopefully the package will blend in anyway. I'm planning to order from Underworks. So basically, if I want to avoid my family learning about the things I'm not ready to tell them, should I wait to order? Long message. o___o;; Enormous thanks to anyone who can offer me advice!!! (and who takes the time to read this.) Link to post Share on other sites
Lego M Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 I can't answer the second one as I haven't ordered from Underworks, but I can say that I wear regular, normal t-shirts all the time and you can't tell I'm wearing a binder underneath. I do have to pay some attention to the material of the shirts I'm buying; some shirts are more clingy than others and don't really work. But a normal cotton t-shirt looks fine. ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Professor T. Pollution Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 I have ordered from Underworks, and I can easily wear normal t-shirts without the binding being obvious. As to your other query, it depends on how observant or nosy your parents are; as far as I can remember, it just comes in a brown box that says it's from Underworks, nothing flashy or attention grabbing about it. Unless you think that their response will be horrible, I'd suggest telling your family — I know it's difficult and nerve-wracking, but the sooner you tell them, the longer they will have to adjust. I made the mistake of waiting too long, and it's going to take my dad years to come to grips with the reality of the situation...if I had told him a year earlier, right now he'd be one year further along the path the accepting me. It's up to you, of course, but that's my experience on the matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 It depends on chestsize and the effectiveness of your binder. I am a rather large chested guy and I tend to get my t-shirts one size too large as a tight t-shirt will give me the annoying 'uniboob-effect'. Link to post Share on other sites
Wade Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 2. Anything you order from Underworks should arrive with a rather discreet return address of a company called "Simple Solutions." A quick google search doesn't yield any connection to binders and such. 1. I agree with Sammie and Lego, it depends on your build and your shirt. I get away with a simple t-shirt over mine, and I tend to pick them fairly thin because I overheat easily and I bike everywhere/work on my feet. Link to post Share on other sites
KieranTheWerewolf42 Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 2. I agree with Wade. My binder just came in a regular mail envelope, and was very discreet. I also have an online shopping addiction so my parentals thought nothing of it. 1. I agree with Sammie. I'm rather large-chested myself, and My binder doesn't get me completely flat. So I have to layer things up and get things in bigger sizes which is turning into complete hell considering the summer heat. Link to post Share on other sites
Oka-sama Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Unfortunately I think you have to have a credit account to buy stuff online...so my problem is the same as the OP's. However I was thinking about telling my parents it would lessen the pain I have walking up and down stairs, considering I have a large chest. Link to post Share on other sites
Tavi Posted May 21, 2010 Author Share Posted May 21, 2010 Wow thanks for the replies everyone, you're awesome. ^____^ I'm luckily on the small side chest-wise, so it sounds like it'll work well. I'm really really looking forward to wearing t-shirts without fear. XD As for what Monochromania suggested, yeah, I think that's good advice. It's strange, the closer you are to someone, the harder it can be to tell them something you've held in for so long. I'll be looking out for the soonest opportunity to tell them. :) Link to post Share on other sites
sindi Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 I've got a clue of what a binder is, but I don't know precisely... I guess I can find some information here or elsewhere? But as I don't have a credit card, I guess I wouldn't be able to get one anyway.... I guess I'm stuck with the sport tops? But I have one question, and I'm sorry to post it here... but is it worth getting a binder if you're quite small-breasted anyway. I mean, does it help better than a tight undertop for small-breasted people? (I mean like very small-breasted, AA in bra-sizes or something I guess, (but as I don't wear bras I'm not sure)). Link to post Share on other sites
Rook Wallace Posted May 23, 2010 Share Posted May 23, 2010 I have an underworks, and I love it. It's a tank top styled binder and works great! The packaging was very discreet and the the price reasonable. The effectiveness does depend on breast size and what kind of shirt you wear, though. I've never heard anything bad about underworks though. Link to post Share on other sites
Frey Posted May 23, 2010 Share Posted May 23, 2010 lindi; At that size, if a tight undertop provides satisfactory results, you might as well stick with the tight undertop. Binders aren't as cost-effective and can be a bit unnecessary if you're already small enough to do what some of the rest of us can't -- just smoosh the bad boys :P Link to post Share on other sites
The MoUsY spell-checker Posted May 23, 2010 Share Posted May 23, 2010 For people who don't have a credit card: a prepaid card is probably easier to get than a regular credit card. Some convenience stores sell them. Link to post Share on other sites
sindi Posted May 23, 2010 Share Posted May 23, 2010 lindi; At that size, if a tight undertop provides satisfactory results, you might as well stick with the tight undertop. Binders aren't as cost-effective and can be a bit unnecessary if you're already small enough to do what some of the rest of us can't -- just smoosh the bad boys :P Thanks for answering my question, even if it was in a such random place ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Wade Posted May 23, 2010 Share Posted May 23, 2010 Regarding binders for the small chested-- It depends on what you're going for. Personally, despite being AA or small A (online calculator, I don't know for sure, never been measured), I can't function without my (Underworks) tri-top. I started binding over five years ago when that was the only thing I could do to relieve some of my dysphoria. I used to wear the double fronts but quickly moved onto the tri-top for the extra compression (and the shorter length). There is only an inch difference when I measure around my chest bound versus my ribs right under and I still worry about my chest being visible. So it's entirely personal, whatever gets you to what you want to achieve. I've got a clue of what a binder is, but I don't know precisely... I guess I can find some information here or elsewhere? But as I don't have a credit card, I guess I wouldn't be able to get one anyway.... I guess I'm stuck with the sport tops? For information on binding, here. Most of the binders people have been mentioning are viewable at ftm.underworks.com. Link to post Share on other sites
Frey Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 I noticed that the smaller size My binder is, the more I look like I have pecs instead of just... blehhhhh. I got a new binder recently and I tried it on today and I was like... 8D Unfortunately, I ate a lot at group tonight and My stomach got compressed... that was very uncomfortable. :( Ha. Random... I know. to you too @ lindi :P Link to post Share on other sites
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