The terms- genderqueer, androgynes, bigenders.

[Robins]

I do find these terms quite confusing. I recently realized I am an effeminate guy and like mainly girly type things but it would be quite helpful if I also got to know the exact gender label for it. I need to know the meaning of these individual terms.

Thanks in advance.

[Sammie]

Some people see 'gender' as a social construction that tells you how a man or a woman should act. By that definition, anyone who rejects those 'rules' can be defined as genderqueer, which includes men who like girly things and women who like butch things.

Some people see 'gender' as an identity and anyone who does not identify as 'man' or 'woman' is genderqueer. So if you like girly things, but consider that to be normal for a man and feel like a man, you would not be genderqueer by that definition.

So, it's a matter of perspective.

I'd say: choose whatever term fits,

If you want to label yourself 'man' and proudly do girly things because that is part of who you are, awesome.

If you want to label yourself 'genderqueer' to emphasize that you are different from most men and don't follow rules of masculinity, that's just as awesome.

or choose no labels at all.

[Elliott Ford]

Everything Sam just said :)

For me, gender is an identity thing.

If "man" works for you - wear that label proudly.

If it doesn't - find something that does.

[rahuls]

I would say identity is the main issue out here. As Sammie said, many people do even now think that there is only one type of man and one type of woman. Numerous case studies and modern scientific research has shown that even the cis gendered population has so much of variation. There are so many types of men and women with innumerable varieties of personalities and attributes even if they follow most gender-norms. Some women love jewelleries and some dont. Some men love sports some don't.

So what extra surprise if some man is a little more different than the norm by being feminine and some woman is butch? I really don't see anything strange at all and I am sure most objective people wouldn't find anything strange here as well.

Hence I do believe that a feminine male is a male and not genderqueer so long as he internally still feels and identifies as male. Same for the butch girls. It is only when you have more of a dysphoria on a physical level rather than the mere outer gender-expressions, that you should consider about gender further. And even if you end up as trans/genderqueer/androgyne, nothing wrong or unusual. Always respect yourself for what you are and live as you feel fine.

[Dannyboi]

genderqueer isn't a catch-all term for everybody who is non-binary (which seems to be implied a lot). rather, I find that the most common use by people that actually identify as genderqueer (myself included) is as a non-binary gender identity (aka not man or woman) that does not need to reference the binary at all or any related terms. aka. it's not based on terms like feminine/masculine/even androgynous, because these terms are created as a reference to the binary, and people who are genderqueer feel like their gender cannot be adequately described by any of these terms. I was talking to some friends of mine recently about this, and one of them said "I like your example of pointing to somewhere else entirely than the spectrum, because what it means to me is not having a place on that spectrum. It reminds me a little bit of being an atheist -- it's listed as a gender, same as atheism is listed as a religion, but in the end it's something a little bit different. Not better, not worse, just a little different." which i really liked. :)

Here is a bit of a post I did on it, that might help?

http://faeriedandy.livejournal.com/2842.html

[gpike]

Thanks for explaining, guys. I've been wondering about it, myself. I grew up in a household that wouldn't allow for anything but male/female, so I just naturally assumed that it was perfectly normal for some girls to not be "girly", like I wasn't. XD

I suppose I continue to identify as female just because I'm okay with my body (though I am not okay with having babies!). Personally, on the inside I don't feel "gendered" at all. I'm just me.

Do people consider there to be a difference between one's public/presented gender and personal/internal gender?

[Sojourner]

I'd never thought of genderqueer as specifically referencing people outside the spectrum, but that makes sense. I suppose the only good umbrella term then would be "gender-nonconforming." (Unless, of course, that too has a more specific meaning of which I'm unaware.) Bigender I think refers to someone who identifies as both male and female, or sometimes as one and sometimes as the other. I'm iffy on the definition of "androgyne" however.

As Sammie said, it's all perspective. I happen to have a good friend who matches the description I just gave of bigender but who identifies as agender; I think all of these terms have a little flexibility to them. Find the term that you think fits.

Do people consider there to be a difference between one's public/presented gender and personal/internal gender?

That would be gender expression (presented) vs. gender identity (internal).

[rahuls]

Do people consider there to be a difference between one's public/presented gender and personal/internal gender?

Yes, gender expression is based on what gender outlook you like and it has little to do with what gender you feel yourself from inside.

Crossdressers for instance. They feel male from inside, but they prefer female clothing.Similar for girls who mostly dress up like men. In that respect sometimes feminine men and masculine women are not really termed genderqueer,but as people with just different tastes and hence gender-non-conforming.

[Vinita]

There have been a number of instances when people with gender expressions not matching their gender identities have thought of themselves as transsexual. But my therapist has told me of late specifically that the key to transsexualism is opposite gender identity and not opposite gender expressions. I am fairly butch and I have quite often wished I were born as man, because my underlying personality and tastes make me more related to world of men and present myself with some boyish personality. But since I am comfortable in my female body and don't feel like being a real man with a male body, I am not transsexual.

Transgenderm however, is a very broad umbrella term encompassing all types of people with some or the other form of gender-variant behaviors and it has got little to do with transsexualism. Infact, even if you identity as genderqueer, bigender or androgyne personality, you are most likely to be somewhere in the gender non-binary but not transsexual.

As far as I know, genderqueer is a self-defined term. Many feminine guys and butch tomboys still call them as men and women and refrain from calling them as genderqueer. But some tomboys do term them as genderqueer, some choose the androgynous label while some don't define themselves at all. You sound to be just a feminine guy to me unless there is more to what you feel from inside. You are the only one who can know of course whether you see yourself as female or male or both. But just remember, gender expression is external presentation of yourself (feminine/masculine), while gender identity is more of internal (female/male).

I always think I am genderqueer by gender expression but cis-gendered by gender identity as there is no part of my body I would want to be that of a man and I also never feel like passing as a man though I would like to be a female with manly outlook. So, am I overall genderqueer? Depends on the classification I choose as mentioned by Sammie.