(SP) Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 Now this is cool. It's not from the show though. It's from the web-only area, under the 'Odd Stuff' section. It's written by Daily Show writers, and I swore I heard somewhere(but I can't confirm it)that stuff from the web-only area is considered for but not used on the actual show.... http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/thed...lines_odd.jhtml C+P ASEXUAL REVOLUTION 10/19/2004 Despite pop culture's hot, steamy suggestion otherwise, a new study shows that about 1% of adults have absolutely no interest in sex. That means if you've been striking out when trying to get laid, you're actually failing 1% worse than you thought you were. It's not too strange that 1% of people don't care about sex. There's a lot of people in this world and it takes all kinds. The surprising part is that this distinction is becoming one of pride among many asexuals. It's the first time any adults are proud of not having sex outside of prison. The new study was conducted by Anthony Bogaert, a human sexuality expert and psychologist of love at Brock University, and was published in the latest issue of The Journal of Sex Research, the only sex-based magazine that people really do buy for the articles. Bogaert's analysis looked at responses to another study in Britain, published in 1994, which was based on interviews of 18,000 people about their sexual practices. It offered respondents a list of options, including "I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all." One percent said they agreed with this statement. These same people were then asked to define love and had their systems crash. The magazine New Scientist says such studies offer insights into sexuality, but remain controversial since, "The closest we have got to understanding human asexuals comes from studies - mostly surveys - of people who report not having sex." Further muddying the results is that many of the women claiming to be asexual were responding to Dr. Sleazy McGrabbinfeel and his eternal follow-up question, "How YOU doin'?" New Scientist feels this discovery could change society, saying, "If asexuality is indeed a form of sexual orientation, perhaps it will not be long before the issue of 'A' pride starts attracting more attention." Since asexuals are unencumbered by having or thinking about sex, they currently plan on achieving “A” rights by next week and complete world domination by December. Asexuals have begun promoting awareness via the Asexual Visibility and Education Network and its online store, and Bravo has picked up 13 episodes of the new series Asexual Eye For The Horny Guy. Watch as average 20-something men are given only sensible sweatpants to wear and have their homes painted neutral whites and grays. Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 OH BOY!! Hey, Julie, your man's show's website is cool with us! :D Caye Link to post Share on other sites
Jayann Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 OMGOMGOMG!!! <3!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 Since asexuals are unencumbered by having or thinking about sex, they currently plan on achieving “A” rights by next week and complete world domination by December. December? CRAP! We're behind schedule. Link to post Share on other sites
Jordan Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 Asexuals have begun promoting awareness via the Asexual Visibility and Education Network and its online store, and Bravo has picked up 13 episodes of the new series Asexual Eye For The Horny Guy. Watch as average 20-something men are given only sensible sweatpants to wear and have their homes painted neutral whites and grays. That's not going to air, right? :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
gambit_boi Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 ......Bravo has picked up 13 episodes of the new series Asexual Eye For The Horny Guy. Watch as average 20-something men are given only sensible sweatpants to wear and have their homes painted neutral whites and grays. :D dude.... yes!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Pagan Nun Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 I love Jon Stewart! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Arcana Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 Nice! Jon Stewart and the rest of the Daily Show gang are great. Oh, and I believe you're correct about the web-only area, sacredprofane. Link to post Share on other sites
scott02 Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 "Bravo has picked up 13 episodes of the new series Asexual Eye For The Horny Guy." now that does sound like a show worth watching! Link to post Share on other sites
maco Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 I really wish that HAD aired. That'd be so funny to see. I can't find it on there. Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted November 18, 2006 Share Posted November 18, 2006 "Since asexuals are unencumbered by having or thinking about sex, they currently plan on achieving “A” rights by next week and complete world domination by December." Step one... get a bunch of people who don't like sex. Step two... start cool website. Step three... have three or four people associated with cool website go on TV and say they don't like sex. Step four... conquer the entire planet!!! Step five... after having successfully taken over the entire planet (this should take us approximately three days and six hours), we shall then save the rainforest, stop global warming, eliminate poverty and homelessness, fix the hole in the ozone layer, find alternative energy sources, fix the economy, find cures for AIDS and cancer, and end all wars... Okay! Now! Let's get started... I'll bring the beer. Link to post Share on other sites
Placebo Posted November 18, 2006 Share Posted November 18, 2006 Wow, thylacine! It looks like there are only two more steps to go! We really ARE amazing! ;) Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted November 18, 2006 Share Posted November 18, 2006 "Since asexuals are unencumbered by having or thinking about sex, they currently plan on achieving “A” rights by next week and complete world domination by December." Step one... get a bunch of people who don't like sex. Step two... start cool website. Step three... have three or four people associated with cool website go on TV and say they don't like sex. Step four... conquer the entire planet!!! Step five... after having successfully taken over the entire planet (this should take us approximately three days and six hours), we shall then save the rainforest, stop global warming, eliminate poverty and homelessness, fix the hole in the ozone layer, find alternative energy sources, fix the economy, find cures for AIDS and cancer, end all wars, and make sure all children have good manners... Okay! Now! Let's get started... I'll bring the beer. Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted November 18, 2006 Share Posted November 18, 2006 "Since asexuals are unencumbered by having or thinking about sex, they currently plan on achieving “A” rights by next week and complete world domination by December." Step one... get a bunch of people who don't like sex. Step two... start cool website. Step three... have three or four people associated with cool website go on TV and say they don't like sex. Step four... conquer the entire planet!!! Step five... after having successfully taken over the entire planet (this should take us approximately three days and six hours), we shall then save the rainforest, stop global warming, eliminate poverty and homelessness, fix the hole in the ozone layer, find alternative energy sources, fix the economy, find cures for AIDS and cancer, end all wars, and make sure all children have good manners... Okay! Now! Let's get started... I'll bring the beer. Link to post Share on other sites
birdnerd Posted November 18, 2006 Share Posted November 18, 2006 Two more steps to go, but then where's this beer? I'm waaaiiting... Link to post Share on other sites
Placebo Posted November 18, 2006 Share Posted November 18, 2006 Will do while you're waiting? Link to post Share on other sites
ChildOfTheLight Posted November 19, 2006 Share Posted November 19, 2006 Nice bump from oblivion...I got a good laugh out of this. And since I didn't hear about you guys until the summer of 2005, and this was from 2004, you're obviously still struggling to achieve world domination...any way I can help? Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 How did that get in there 3 times??? Link to post Share on other sites
Neabsco Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 :lol: It would be really cool if some AVENites got to be interviewed by Jon Stewart for that show. Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted November 21, 2006 Share Posted November 21, 2006 Yes, it would be. But then everyone might find out about our... Plan to Take Over the World!!! (Evil laughter echoing in the background.) Link to post Share on other sites
! Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 "Since asexuals are unencumbered by having or thinking about sex, they currently plan on achieving “A” rights by next week and complete world domination by December."Step one... get a bunch of people who don't like sex. Step two... start cool website. Step three... have three or four people associated with cool website go on TV and say they don't like sex. Step four... conquer the entire planet!!! Step five... after having successfully taken over the entire planet (this should take us approximately three days and six hours), we shall then save the rainforest, stop global warming, eliminate poverty and homelessness, fix the hole in the ozone layer, find alternative energy sources, fix the economy, find cures for AIDS and cancer, end all wars, and make sure all children have good manners... Okay! Now! Let's get started... I'll bring the beer. Rotflmao thylacine, that was awsome. I'll bring the virgin drinks. that pun was not intended Link to post Share on other sites
Aangie Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 lol, I love the Daily Show too, so this is just excellent. Link to post Share on other sites
Mona Koza Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 :lol: Man, that is too awesome! I love the Daily Show, and Jon Stewart is the best. :D Link to post Share on other sites
agentkgb Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Since asexuals are unencumbered by having or thinking about sex, they currently plan on achieving “A” rights by next week and complete world domination by December. Sweet. Also, the Daily Show is awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
AVENguy Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Can we hold off on the Daily Show until we have a book to promote? Though I really think we deserve some love on Colbert's Threatdown. It's time someone had the guts to stand up and accuse us of threatening America. Link to post Share on other sites
spinneret Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 oh, we're SO threatening America! CLEARLY! . . .wait, does this mean the book's getting closer to realization?? Link to post Share on other sites
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