Unscrewed and Illuminated Podcasts

[Pandoren]

Just listening to podcast 3... It occurred to me too that asexuality has a bearing on gender identity in that a person looking to attract might exaggerate their gender/sex in appearance and behaviour and feel more male or female because they "know their place" on whatever side of the sexual binary. I myself am fluid between female, male and neutral and as someone who is female bodied, I grew up recognising female traits, ignoring anything that wasn't, and identifying as cisfemale. I was only aware of the options of being female, male, intersex or transgender (the latter I regarded as still being part of the gender binary since you are one sex born in the body of the other) and although open minded about this, my knowledge was limited. Since I didn't feel like I was male, I happily assumed I was female until coming to Aven and being bombarded with knowledge that made me think, hold on a minute, am I what I think I am? And I do wonder if two things have a bearing on this- my asexuality alienates me from my peers since the majority of women I meet seem to be interested in sex, boys, drooling over male celebrities, makeup, clothes shopping and shoes. None of the above interests me. Similarly I know although I feel masculine sometimes, I could never fit in with a male crowd, especially not in an obviously female body. So given that gender stereotypes, usually stemming from sexuality, don't fit me, that puts me in a group on my own. Secondly, I have chronic depression and sometimes I wonder if being depressed gives me an apathy towards my gender so it isn't so much gender neutrality as irrelevance. I guess only time will tell if my perceptions of my own gender change and I identify as something different, but at the moment the confusion is such that sometimes I wish I hadn't had my happy little cisgender bubble burst, because things were so much easier when I was ignorant. At any rate, at least AVEN is a safe and accepting place for gender discussion as well as sexuality discussion so I can express myself however I identify and be respected here. And if I eventually decide to fit myself back into the female gender box, I know I won't be criticised. You guys rock.

On the topic of the poll, as I think we've discussed before on the forums, that poll isn't necessarily properly representative of the biosex prevalence of asexuality. It is, at most, representative of the biosex of people who use the internet, who socialise on the internet, and who are willing to identify as asexual. It may be that there aren't more biofemale asexuals than biomale asexuals, but instead that more females are willing to investigate their differences to their peers, or more willing to seek advice on why their relationships aren't working, or that societal pressures aren't going to be as harsh on them. A man often has his success as a man measured on the amount of sex he has and may feel compelled to fake it or deny that he has a "problem" to cover for what his peers may see as inadequacy, and that peer pressure might be perceived through the internet too, so he might keep it to himself. It might be stereotypical to say, but it seems to me that women speak more about issues than men do, so that might account for the bias towards women on this site. It has also been said that most asexuals on AVEN seem to be introverted or have social issues- well, that might be explained away by saying extroverted and socially outgoing people would be out in the real world being extroverted and social and wouldn't spend so much time in front of a computer. So while AVEN is a large gathering of asexuals, polls cannot be accepted as concrete results of any experiment they are used to prove.

[Lego M]

That was hilarious to listen to. :lol: I'm definitely going to have to keep up with these.

I really liked the discussion you had about gender; the idea that being asexual makes gender an unimportant thing is exactly how I feel. I'm having trouble with the poll though, mainly because being androgynous, I identify with BOTH male and female genders. Part of me identifies with my physical sex while the other part doesn't; technically the first two poll options both work for me.

Identifying with both or more than one means you identify with 'a' gender, so you can choose that option. ;)

What I meant was, yes I identify with "a" gender, but the gender I identify with both matches and doesn't match my physical sex, so both of the first two poll options work for me. Yes, I match my physical gender because I feel half female, and yes I do not match my physical gender because I feel half male.

I don't want to confuse things though, just wanted to mention that.

Surely my voice is distinctive? Being all deep and masculine-like :(

This probably won't make you feel any better, but I kept thinking as I was listening to you talk that you sound like Christopher Eccleston. Which I myself thought was pretty awesome. ;)

[CowsRSkary]

As far as voices go, there's the one person who sounds like a dude, and two who are definitely more... female-y. I'm not very good at remembering names of the people in my classes, so random body-less voices are even tougher.

[KayleeSaeihr]

What I meant was, yes I identify with "a" gender, but the gender I identify with both matches and doesn't match my physical sex, so both of the first two poll options work for me. Yes, I match my physical gender because I feel half female, and yes I do not match my physical gender because I feel half male.

I don't want to confuse things though, just wanted to mention that.

Oh! Oh...Well that would..Damn, I thought I created a good poll. There's always one person, to come along and prove that boxes and labels, no matter how broadly defined, just don't work. Kudos to you :)

Surely my voice is distinctive? Being all deep and masculine-like :(

This probably won't make you feel any better, but I kept thinking as I was listening to you talk that you sound like Christopher Eccleston. Which I myself thought was pretty awesome. ;)

Really? I sometimes think I sound like Matt Smith in speaking style and phraseology. So maybe I'm the 12th Doctor... A Trans Doctor!

As far as voices go, there's the one person who sounds like a dude, and two who are definitely more... female-y. I'm not very good at remembering names of the people in my classes, so random body-less voices are even tougher.

I sound like a dude. Chris and Sophie have spent far too much time together and their voices have merged into some mega-voice-beast from the great beyond....

[------]

lol Ellie

Just listened to podcast 2 and if it's any consolation Saeihr, I thought I heard a girly tinge in your voice every now and then. And a high pitched voice doesn't make a woman, I'm female bodied and I swear in some ways I've got a lower voice than my brother.

Yeah it's all about resonance and intonation. And I was trying in the podcast. And I'll try again more in the next one and the next one and so forth!

I think it would be better to aim for a andro voice instead of 'feminine' because andro voices for females is generally realistic. I know that for lowering voices (e.g. for FTMs) practising does help - I presume along with hormones - so I wonder if it works the other way around. I think one exercise is to sing along with songs where the singers have low voices, perhaps the same would work for making your voice higher.

The nice podcast is helping Saeihr reflect on her voice. ^_^

Anyroad, good luck with working on your voice.

[SphereFTW]

It's up to the people at iTunes in which order they put the episodes. I think they're having a glitch in their matrix at the moment as all the podcasts I download through iTunes (about 8 of them) are listing the episodes in a sporadic order.

HD Ready whether your voice is Androgynous or whatever it's still asexy to me.

[SphereFTW]

I sound like a dude. Chris and Sophie have spent far too much time together and their voices have merged into some mega-voice-beast from the great beyond....

What the hell does that mean!? <_<

[KayleeSaeihr]

I sound like a dude. Chris and Sophie have spent far too much time together and their voices have merged into some mega-voice-beast from the great beyond....

What the hell does that mean!? <_<

No clue really...I was being silly.

[KayleeSaeihr]

I think it would be better to aim for a andro voice instead of 'feminine' because andro voices for females is generally realistic. I know that for lowering voices (e.g. for FTMs) practising does help - I presume along with hormones - so I wonder if it works the other way around. I think one exercise is to sing along with songs where the singers have low voices, perhaps the same would work for making your voice higher.

The nice podcast is helping Saeihr reflect on her voice. ^_^

Anyroad, good luck with working on your voice.

Well I'd be happy with a voice that doesn't bring my gender into question :P Andro or Feminine; I don't really care which ;)

[HD Ready]

I think it would be better to aim for a andro voice instead of 'feminine' because andro voices for females is generally realistic. I know that for lowering voices (e.g. for FTMs) practising does help - I presume along with hormones - so I wonder if it works the other way around. I think one exercise is to sing along with songs where the singers have low voices, perhaps the same would work for making your voice higher.

The nice podcast is helping Saeihr reflect on her voice. ^_^

Anyroad, good luck with working on your voice.

Well I'd be happy with a voice that doesn't bring my gender into question :P Andro or Feminine; I don't really care which ;)

I'd offer to trade voices, but I like mine and it's apparently great at confusing the listeners too.

[KayleeSaeihr]

I sound like a dude. Chris and Sophie have spent far too much time together and their voices have merged into some mega-voice-beast from the great beyond....

What the hell does that mean!? <_<

And, sorry. Please don't hurt me.

[SphereFTW]

Lol. I'm just giving you crap. 8)

[KayleeSaeihr]

Lol. I'm just giving you crap. 8)

People keep doing that... :|

:P

[KayleeSaeihr]

Episode 4 @ our new website!

Host: Sophie, Chris, Kayleigh & our new friend Amy!

• - Intro
  
  • With new Panelist - Amy from Ohio!

  [*]- Feedback

  • AVEN - Episode 3 Feedback Thread
    
  • Poll Results

  [*]- What’s Happening on AVEN? Am I asexual?:

  • Am I an asexual? Female, attractive, mid-20s...
    
  • Am I Asexual?
    
  • Questioning my sexual orientation

  [*]- Topic: Types of Asexuality

  • Aromantic, Romantic, Heteroromantic, Homoromantic, Biromantic, Panromantic, Demisexual, Gray - A, etc
    
  • Wikipedia Article
    
  • AVEN-Wiki - Grey/Gray A
    
  • AVEN-Wiki - Rabger's Model

  [*]- Google random word

  • Asexual Playground = Sherlock Holmes is apparently asexual. http://queeracegeek.wordpress.com/tag/sherlock-holmes/

  [*]- Wrap up

  [*]- How you can contact us

  • Old Wordpress Website
    
  • New Website - http://unscrewedandilluminated.galileoace.com/
    
  • AVEN - Episode 4 Feedback Thread
    
  • Facebook
    
  • Email - unscrewedpodcast@gmail.com

  [*]- Goodbye

In this episode we discuss "Am I asexual?" and the myriad concerns around that. Chris hands out props for avs. Cover the types of asexuality, and go off on a tangent on a few movies while discussing Sherlock Holmes' sexuality...Including a short explanation of Slash FanFiction. In otherwords a normal episode of Unscrewed & Illuminated!

Your thoughts? Comments? Hate? Love? ;)

[HD Ready]

I just listened to it and laughed so hard at the crazy voice from someone saying "fun fun fun" and the "fun" ;)

[Pandoren]

I can't even remember what my first post was, maybe it was an "am I asexual?" post, which would be kinda embarrassing now since I facepalm whenever I see a new thread like that. The sad thing is, since there are so many, people might not get the number of responses that they want to (after all, a new member's initial world will revolve around their opening thread and if they aren't welcomed to the social circle, they can feel awfully left out) and it's only due to the persistance and dedication of some members who seem to have endless patience in repeating their answers in these threads. I did see a thread once where only newbies answered, and that was a sad thread since I thought it was in a way "like the blind leading the blind". People who didn't know the answers were trying to supply them to others. AVEN seems to be a good site for that kind of persistance and I'm glad that, in the majority of cases, there seem to be people willing to keep up the good work.

As for experimenting with sex or bowing to peer/society pressure- there are some things that we know before we do. I don't put my hand in fire because I know it will burn. I don't throw myself off a building because I know it will hurt. And I don't have sex because I don't want it thank you so much. I cannot for a moment see myself enjoying sex and that's fine for me. Why should I bow to the wishes of other people? Friends come and go, only rarely are they for life- but those lifetime ones are the ones who are worthy of it, people who love and respect you, not morons who try to force you to become like them. Even family will not be your entire dependant world forever- only until you move out and can be yourself. In the end, in basic fact, we have ourselves. We will always have ourselves, even if other people leave. So we have a duty to be true to ourselves and be strong for ourselves. When all is said and done, it will be you that you have to make peace with when you have done things you didn't want to do. Never betray yourself, then you have nothing to try to forgive yourself for.

I'm not keen on the word "transromantic" because it's an odd one out- others have "heteroromantic = heterosexual", "biromantic = bisexual" but transromantic goes to transsexual, which is something else... as for polyromantic/polysexual- I define poly as "romantic/sexual attraction towards at least one binary sex- (cis)male/female- and at least one non-binary sex or gender- eg, intersex, androgynous, genderqueer, neutrois etc. I tend to define it this way because I see attraction towards two binary sexes as bisexual, and I believe there is a word for attraction towards only nonbinary genders but I don't remember what it was. Pan is sexual/romantic attraction towards potentially any sex or gender.

(I can't believe you are arguing over the pronunciation of Asperger's, rofl)

I don't see why there shouldn't be such terms as grey-romantic or demi-romantic. Grey might be "usually aromantic but occasional instance of romantic attraction..." in a similar way to grey-A but romantically instead of sexually. As for demi-romantic, again like the sexual level, it might be only experiencing romantic attraction after a strong emotional connection with someone, such as after a close friendship. Many people might be thinking "isn't that the way it normally works?" but I don't think so, I think you can look at a person and see some attributes that you might like in a partner even if you don't know them yet. You might see them as potentially cuddly, perhaps, or the sound of their laughter sparks your interest, and that little voice inside encourages you to get to know them better in case you were right and their personality might just be the one you were looking for. Between those two options, I'm not sure myself which of these I am. I've had fantasies for years about loving someone and being loved and only recently have I thought that although I want to be loved, I'm not sure I want to put up with another person in my life, which as confused me somewhat. I know that I'm asexual- I don't want sex and cannot foresee in my life a time when I ever will be sexually interested in another person, but it's a different feeling with romanticism- I can feel that potential there, that in the right circumstances, with the right person, maybe in the right time of my life when I've done all the things I wanted to do alone, I might settle down with another person.

(Excusing him being a fictional character...) Sherlock Holmes may or may not be an asexual... but dammit, if we can't prove he was, no one can prove that he wasn't! He has been officially claimed!

Slash fiction... I do read slash and I am asexual... I read it because it makes me literally rofl. The more graphic it is, the more ridiculous it seems to me, and it just makes me scream with laughter. I can while away a dull evening nearly crying, especially if I know the characters from a book or tv programme.

That's all I can think of at the moment :)

PS as for the last few minutes with the chatter, very funny, and you guys are mad :P

PPS Just looked up my first post... I just told people about myself... I think I got away with it :D

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

Im definatly hyper-romantic.

[KayleeSaeihr]

I just listened to it and laughed so hard at the crazy voice from someone saying "fun fun fun" and the "fun" ;)

You mean you? :P

I'm not keen on the word "transromantic" because it's an odd one out- others have "heteroromantic = heterosexual", "biromantic = bisexual" but transromantic goes to transsexual, which is something else... as for polyromantic/polysexual- I define poly as "romantic/sexual attraction towards at least one binary sex- (cis)male/female- and at least one non-binary sex or gender- eg, intersex, androgynous, genderqueer, neutrois etc. I tend to define it this way because I see attraction towards two binary sexes as bisexual, and I believe there is a word for attraction towards only nonbinary genders but I don't remember what it was. Pan is sexual/romantic attraction towards potentially any sex or gender.

I think pan romantic/sexual covers transgendered people and both the heteronormative genders effectively. :)

(I can't believe you are arguing over the pronunciation of Asperger's, rofl)

But of course ;)

I don't see why there shouldn't be such terms as grey-romantic or demi-romantic.

I have no qualms with those terms :)

PS as for the last few minutes with the chatter, very funny, and you guys are mad :P

Yep.

Im definatly hyper-romantic.

Like me :)

[HD Ready]

I'm also waiting for someone to pull me up on the fact it wasn't Jennifer Lewis but Juliette Lewis that co-stared in "Natural Born Killers" :P "FUN FUN FUN"

[KayleeSaeihr]

I'm also waiting for someone to pull me up on the fact it wasn't Jennifer Lewis but Juliette Lewis that co-stared in "Natural Born Killers" :P "FUN FUN FUN"

:P

Also, change your signature to the new site.

[Cilas]

Sherlock Holmes may or may not be an asexual... but dammit, if we can't prove he was, no one can prove that he wasn't! He has been officially claimed!

I think so as well. I haven't read any of the books myself. But I have seen the film, and I liked it alot (not least of which because I love Martial Arts too, and this movie went into great detail of the damage caused, most martial arts movies don't do that).. and I think that asexuals can claim him as much as homosexuals can.

I like to think of him as asexual though!

As for the rest of the podcast. Well, I consider myself aromantic. That is, I have never felt romantic feelings or been in love (to be honest, I have no real idea/comprehension of what that phrase means. I also personally find the plethora of terms confusing myself, but I also think that they would be useful to others, so I don't think there should be changes, if anything it just shows how complex people are.

I also find the (tangential) discussion of age and sexuality interesting too. I think that would be s topic worthy of its own cast - Is there an age where people can legitimately claim their sexuality? etc

btw if you want the (in my mind) pronunciation of my username if you guys have ever seen the Da vinci code? Same way as the albino monk (Silas)..if you haven't seen it, don't worry about it :P

[HD Ready]

The Da Vinci Code is also another movie on the list of movies I've never seen :P

[Pandoren]

I'm not keen on the word "transromantic" because it's an odd one out- others have "heteroromantic = heterosexual", "biromantic = bisexual" but transromantic goes to transsexual, which is something else... as for polyromantic/polysexual- I define poly as "romantic/sexual attraction towards at least one binary sex- (cis)male/female- and at least one non-binary sex or gender- eg, intersex, androgynous, genderqueer, neutrois etc. I tend to define it this way because I see attraction towards two binary sexes as bisexual, and I believe there is a word for attraction towards only nonbinary genders but I don't remember what it was. Pan is sexual/romantic attraction towards potentially any sex or gender.

I think pan romantic/sexual covers transgendered people and both the heteronormative genders effectively. :)

I neglected to include transgender in the definition because although I admit I largely include them as a form of non-binary, I think the attraction depends on the beholder. A woman who is attracted to cismen and transmen might not consider herself poly, she would be well within her right to consider herself solely heterosexual. But a bisexual person who likes both the male form and the female form wouldn't necessarily like a) someone with both features or b) someone who used to be in the body of the opposite sex or c) who wants to be respected as one sex while still in the body of the other sex. Kinda complicated.

And then of course, you get the words about sexual/romantic attraction FROM someone who is non-binary and end up with words like "androsexual" or "gynesexual" although if it's attraction from one non binary to another... You know, if someone's making a list, how long have you got?

I don't see why there shouldn't be such terms as grey-romantic or demi-romantic.

I have no qualms with those terms :)

Didn't say you did, my dear Saeihr ;)

[KayleeSaeihr]

:)

[Lego M]

I made it into a podcast! :lol: I really wasn't trying to be difficult with the poll last time, but you know how it goes.

I also don't really get the term polyromantic; when I first saw it I thought it meant they were asexual but into polygamous romantic relationships. I agree that the definition provided for it sounds like panromantic.

I wish I had a microphone, I'd love to chat with you guys on there sometime!

[Aimeendfire]

I've merged all the podcast threads and pinned it for easier access.

Aimeendfire-World Watch Mod

Great job guys :)

[KayleeSaeihr]

But but but but...Polls?

[------]

But but but but...Polls?

A Life post in the Census forum. Post a link to it in here and people shall vote.

I like the mushing them together. Making two threads for each episode was too much.

[KayleeSaeihr]

It wasn't my idea to make two threads :: looks at HD Ready ::

[20thCenturyGirl]

I submitted a rating on iTunes and it finally showed up. Soooo.. You guys have a 5 star rating now. Congrats! Hahaha