Children.

[ChaliceFlame]

Ok, curiously I have decided to make my first poll.

The question is about having children. Mainly exploring the child-free lifestyle.

[pawprint prettysure]

You need to add "Don't want kids" or something like that to the second part. It doesn't allow you to vote unless you answer all the questions in the poll.

[ChaliceFlame]

Ok, thanks I'll fix that.

[Tanwen]

If you already have children, you need another option for Q3, too.

[PiF]

i tried to use just the ..i have children but it wouldn't allow me to answer just that...it insisted that i use the other two sections of which none were relevant to me

[ChaliceFlame]

Opps, hopefully I fixed it.

[Euonym]

One very confused person voted in this poll, I think. :) I like children, I think I'll probably want to have one one day (probably adopted, childbirth is a bit scary...), but I'm also sixteen, so I'm a bit young for it, I couldn't really vote. It's an interesting poll, I'll be awaiting the results eagerly.

Psmith

[Sciatrix]

The second question should also have options for people who aren't sure and those who are putting off children temporarily. Me, I'm not sure whether I want to have children, and I'm not sure I'd be able to juggle children with my career even if I did.

My roommate, now, she wants children really badly. Loves kids. Has a really serious boyfriend she's thinking of marrying. But she's only twenty-one and she wants to finish her undergraduate degree and her two years of graduate school for scientific illustration before she has kids. So she uses birth control now and will until she's financially stable enough to have kids and in a place where having kids won't hurt her career.

Not everyone who wants children has them right now, and in many cases it's down to situation, not an identification as childfree. Being childfree is not the same thing as currently not having children; childfree people have consciously decided for whatever reason that they never want children. I think you're conflating "childless" with "childfree" in this poll.

[ChaliceFlame]

OK, did another edit. Maybe I should have submitted this poll as a regular thread first before doing 1-3 edits.

I've never heard of a difference between childless and child-free. I thought child-free just means you don't have children for whatever reason.

Like I consider myself child-free mostly by circumstances.

[virescence]

I voted "other" on the last question, so I just thought I'd note my reasons here: my personal reason for being child-free is that I just don't think I'd make a very good parent, and if at some point I changed as a person sufficiently that I thought I would make a good parent, I still wouldn't want to raise children as a single parent, and being aromantic I am unlikely to be in a situation where I would have someone else to raise a child with me.

I would like to donate eggs, though, and I have an infertile friend to whom my eggs are on offer should she not be able to use her sister's eggs for whatever reason.

[Sally]

I'm not sure how I could take seriously the vote of a 14-year-old on whether they want kids. Maybe you could ask how old respondents are.

Yes, I know 14-year-olds will be offended by that.

[Blerdivor]

Well I wouldn't mind fostering children, but I'm in school and will be for the next five years or so.

As for biological children same as above plus....oh size 3 how I do love thee.

[CrazyCatLover]

My primary reason for not wanting children is that I'm not very fond of them and would make a poor mother.

Other reasons include the following:

Want more time for my career.

Want more time for myself [and my partner].

Want more time/resources for hobbies.

Want more time for pets.

Other personal reason: Any child that I had with my partner would be at high risk for a number of mental and physical disorders. Postpartum depression runs in my family, so I'd be on suicide watch for the first few months of my baby's life.

ETA that I recently found a song that describes my feelings about children very well:

[annwyl_cariad]

I haven't decided yet, but if I did have kids, I'd want to adopt school-aged children or be a foster parent. I have absolutely no desire to go through pregnancy or deal with infants. And there are plenty of older kids out there who need someone to be their parent. However, if I did adopt or foster, I wouldn't do so until I had a partner. Having your single mom be away doing research in another country every summer is probably not too good on a kid, and I doubt they'd even let me adopt/foster given the career I'm going into if I didn't have a partner to help.

I wouldn't say that I'm a supporter of VHEMT but I respect that point of view. It's not an overpopulation thing for me, it's just the thought that I'd rather take care of the kids we already have on this world before making new ones.

[ghosts]

1. I'm choosing to be "child-free." I don't see that changing any time soon, but you never know, right?

2. Child-free by choice.

3. Various reasons - mostly because I want that time to be doing things that I'd like to be doing & not raising children. If I had a kid, it'd be a little difficult to be doing the things that I'm really into right now. But also, some other personal reasons are involved.

[Sleeping Beauty]

Question 1: I want natural children or to adopt.

Question 2: Don't have yet because I lack of partner and I cannot raise a child alone.

Question 3: I voted the already have even because I read cursorily and thought it was in general for those who want any because you have to answer to all the questions.

[P is for...]

i'd like to point out the difference between actively and passively "choosing" to be child-free. i was going to vote in the poll, but didn't really find an option that accurately described my situation; so if i can fill a purpose by skewing the sample a little bit...

i have an endocrine dysfunction that causes infertility. it was diagnosed when i was a teenager and the ramifications of it were explained to me then. so although i liked children very much, i knew having them would probably not be an option for me. as an adult, i had everything double-checked and found out that, yep, it wasn't gonna happen. by that time i'd spent my life operating under the assumption that i wouldn't have children anyway so the "choice" not to have them was a fairly passive one. had i been rabidly determined to have a child i could have adopted one; but at great expense, both financially and emotionally. since it was never that big a deal to me either way, i opted not to do that. it doesn't really feel like the same thing as making a conscious choice not to have children.

i think there is probably a certain percentage of asexuals for whom not having children is merely a passive choice. i also think that there is probably a similar percentage of sexuals for whom having children is a passive choice. i mean, sometimes things just happen... or else they don't. there's not always a grand design or a manifesto behind everything. sometimes the only choice you have is to play the hand you're dealt the best way you know how, and try not to make too big a deal out of it.

[Ocelot]

People actually support the voluntary human extinction movement?

To answer the question, no, I don't intend to have children. And I wouldn't want to have them the normal way, even if I did want to have kids. I think sexual reproduction is very inefficient and gives you very little control over the genetic makeup of your offspring. I would use a combination of cloning and genetic engineering. How many kids does the average couple have. Three? What if I want to make an impact? I would need to have thousands to do that, and sexual reproduction just doesn't cut it.

[Julesie]

For the last part I voted other.

Reason: I really want a child but I have a bad feeling that with my social phobia/anxiety/panic attacks. Lack of lover and problem showing affection. (I just don't know how and I get fearful of children) that I would be a terrible mother, despite the feeling that I would love one.

Often I think about it and I really hope I do have one... but it just seems very unlikely, sadly.

[Super Erinaceinae]

I don't want biological children. Ever since I was a child, I've told people this, and been annoyed to no end when I got the "oh haha, you'll change your mind when you're older" spiel from them. I've never felt an ounce of 'maternal instinct', and now I am older now and still feel exactly the same—and anyone who knows me must have realised I'm stubborn as a mule. It takes a lot for me to change my mind, especially over bigger things like this. Childbirth is horrific, and I have enough trouble trying to keep myself in a decent state of health, never mind struggling to keep it up for a tiny person inside me. Not to mention I have no intentions of going through any processes required to get pregnant in the first place... *shudder*

However, I've got nothing against children whatsoever, and an odd time have thought about all the kids who need homes.

But at the same time, I'm not good with respsonsibility. I can just about handle my pets and myself.

I don't deal too well with other human beings, nor am I very adept at showing affection, so you can imagine it probably wouldn't work out so well. Add it that I'm materialistic and won't deny I'd rather splash out on fun things for myself rather than fork out the money to keep a child in toys, clothes, food etc, and you don't exactly have parent of the year material.

Yes, perhaps it's selfish. But at least I'm honest. :B There are enough neglected children in the world without me adding to it.

[Admiral Kitteh]

I don't dislike children but I don't want them myself. I really really hate the whole "oh you'll change your mind" shtick! It REALLY pisses me off. I've felt this way ever since I was a small child. My views have not changed. I am turning 23. I do not want children!

The very idea of being pregnant makes me want to kick a puppy. The very idea and look of being pregnant is absolutely gut revolting to me and just the thought of having some creature GROWING inside of me and sucking up all my own nutrients that I NEED to survive on just sickens me. Also I do not want to experience childbirth. I've been told by many that is the worst pain a person could go through and I do not want to experience a spawn coming out of my vagina or getting cut open just for it to come out.

I have nothing against children and I won't mind taking care of someone else's if I have to baby sit but for me to have or adopt my own, the very idea is preposterous. I can see myself donating money to help children (like charities) but yeah, I am going to be child-free.

[LaMaestra]

I decided I didn't want children when I found out what you have to go through to get them. Then as I got older, I grew to dislike, in fact detest, them.

[Mrgnrykn]

I do not want kids. I'd like more time to devote to my own pursuits, I would rather not go through what it takes to get them, and I see no reason why I should have kids.

[Kafka Sometimes]

I am not a fan of children. I mostly find them to be annoying, and the fact that you never know what they are going to say or do makes me uncomfortable.

Of course, even if I didn't have a problem with kids I wouldn't have any. I'd be a terrible parent. I honestly have enough trouble taking care of myself, so there's no way I would be able to take care of someone else.

[Hayley]

Right-o... I would say child-free by choice. At present I am in a relationship with someone who would like eventually to do the whole marriage, kids, big house thing, so eventually I'm likely to have to make the decision there. Now, however, I choose to be child-free due to "mental/emotion issues" and just generally not having the time or patience - I would not make a good mother in any way or form, and I am fully aware of this fact.

[LittleMissAwesome]

I can barely take care of myself, never mind a kid! I'd be sure to screw it up somehow :)

I think if I ever got pregnant I'd definitely keep it, but I wouldn't have kids by choice. I used to maybe imagine having kids when I was little, but I kept forgetting a rather important guy.... what's his name? Dad? :lol: I imagined children but never a father. Guess that's ace-ness for ya :D

[Sam(MadiLee)]

I choose to be child-free. I can barely look after myself sometimes, so I would not want to risk the harm that I could cause to a child.

[Mads]

I'm 19; a lot of 19 year olds already have children but I feel like I'm definitely still too young and have too much else to do.

I think I want them someday, but I'm not sure if it's just because I've been culturally conditioned that way. And either way I'm not really seeing how it's going to happen. Raising children without a partner would be too much for me.

[Hayley]

Haha, wow, thread revival.

Right-o... I would say child-free by choice. At present I am in a relationship with someone who would like eventually to do the whole marriage, kids, big house thing, so eventually I'm likely to have to make the decision there. Now, however, I choose to be child-free due to "mental/emotion issues" and just generally not having the time or patience - I would not make a good mother in any way or form, and I am fully aware of this fact.

When I wrote this, I was 4 months pregnant and had totally no idea. I now have a 7 week old daughter.

I still think I'm not mummy material, and still don't feel that children are something I need in my life, but I love my little girl more than anything.

[henrik]

Minced and deep fried for me, thank you.