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benderoftime

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Okay.. I'm new to this forum and to being asexual. Should I tell my parents of what I am? I'm extremely scared. My dad is the kind of person who would be ashamed to have a son who isn't attracted to either sex. However, my mom has always told me that I can tell her anything.

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Hmm. I told my parents, but I knew that they woudlnt be too freaked out about it.

Maybe put some feelers out when the subject comes up, like 'no, I'm not interested at the moment', and see where that goes.

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It's honestly not your parents' business whether or not you feel sexual desire, is it? Why would it ever be necessary to tell them that you don't feel any... would you feel like you had to tell them if you had super-HIGH levels of desire and were masturbating 10 times a day to relieve it?

If, as time passes, it becomes clear that you have no interest in dating or relationships, however, then yes, you WILL need to tell them something, because they WILL ask; until that point, why sweat it, even if you're sure right now that you'll never want a relationship with anyone? Who can tell what any of us will want in a year, or 5 years, after all?

The important thing right now is for you to understand that there's nothing whatsoever wrong with you, and that you should be proud of who you are, and like yourself for who you are. :-)

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Depends entirely on your parents beliefs and comfort levels. I could tell my father and he would probably be like "oh, so thats why you don't date, I just thought you were anti-social." and that would be that.

Being Asexual is a far cry gossipwise in the family from discussing my cousin the gay-transvestite's latest look, or the ordination of his father the gay-anglican-minister. Or my other cousin's being taken for a pregnancy test at age thirteen, or such and so's got ANOTHER bun in the oven. I've got a lot of cousins... If the rest of the relatives got wind of it they'd say oh, well we knew she was strange... :wink:

My mom might be a harder sell-but if I started out "well Mom, I've come to realize I'm NOT a lesbian...but..." she'd probably say "its just a Phase..." and be okay with it. I hope. I'm having dinner with her Sunday. And I'm still debating whether or not to say anything. It probably wouldn't change much really, but I might tell my brother and sister first.

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While the others make some fair point ie, its not up to your parents to decied or tell you how to feel, and they should love and respect you no matter what (I'd gether from what you said about your mum and talking to her about anything that this is how theyd be!), there are other points I believe should be raised. Obviously it depends entirely on your situation, but I think it might necessarily have to "come out" at some point, and better from you than them starting to make assumptions as princess spoke mentioned. Also, if sex really is out of the question and you have no intent on a relationship, that would mean no children. I know it sounds awful, but my parents would be devestated if I told them I wouldnt ever be having kids and they would get no grandchildren. If you keep quiet this is probably going to be raised by them at some point, unless this isnt an issue to them.

However, if you do decied to tell them, or your mum at least (maybe confide in her first and see what her reaction is and how she thinks your father might react) but do it in your own time, if and when you feel ready.

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