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boots57

anyone past 50 on here?

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daveb

Welcome, ecila! (are you in the looking glass?) Have some :cake:

Yep, there are a few of us who don't feel that "inescapable male biological need". :)

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Hermit Stag
... Dreaded the approach of bed time and the only way I got through it without chucking the poor man off me to the floor each time was to mentally disassociate myself entirely from the present moment.

First off, Welcome ecila! (I'm fairly new here myself) Have some :cake: !

Your comment reminded me of the time I told my mother a sex joke (not something that happened often):

What's the difference between a mistress, a lover, and a wife?

The mistress says, "Faster, faster."

The lover says, "Deeper, deeper."

And the wife says, "Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Well my Mom enjoyed the joke a lot more than I expected her to and then told me that when she married my Dad, her own mother advised her to just lie back and think of pleasant memories. That comment made me wonder if my maternal grandmother might have been just a little on the asexual side herself (a genetic link to asexuality, perhaps?).

Anyway, this is a great place to hang out once in a while.

Oh, and BTW, I'll be fifty-one and a half this month.

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Busman

Hi There.

I'll be 57 this year.Some folks say I look about 10 years younger lol!

I feel much younger inside,always have done-I guess age is an attitude-you're as young as you feel.

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CompassRose

After planning to post here when I turned 50 for almost a year and a half, when the day finally came, I forgot completely! Now it's a few days late and I'm resurecting the thread, but I can't resist. So, I just turned 50 on Thanksgiving! :cake: for me! (The virtual kind being the only kind I consume.) Thanks to everyone else in the US for celebrating with me by consuming mass quantities of turkey and side dishes, then watching football, just like the pilgrims did. :D

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Hammerhead

Belated Happy Birthday CompassRose. Welcome to the 50-something club

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Tanwen

Belated happy birthday :D

birthdaycat.jpg

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lux

My birthday was in september,now I'm 51 years old,I'm very surprised because I see that there are many people over 50 years here.Why is the reason?,I think that it is a very strange phenomena.In AVENes,all people are very young,over 20.

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CompassRose

Belated Happy Birthday CompassRose. Welcome to the 50-something club

Belated happy birthday :D

birthdaycat.jpg

Thank you both very much.

Tanwen, that picture is totally adorable!

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Sassy Frass

I'm almost 60. I think there are more older than younger asexuals, actually. Once you pass menopause, sex just isn't that important.

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Loner_Linda

After planning to post here when I turned 50 for almost a year and a half, when the day finally came, I forgot completely! Now it's a few days late and I'm resurecting the thread, but I can't resist. So, I just turned 50 on Thanksgiving! :cake: for me! (The virtual kind being the only kind I consume.) Thanks to everyone else in the US for celebrating with me by consuming mass quantities of turkey and side dishes, then watching football, just like the pilgrims did. :D

My birthday was on Thanksgiving too! I turned 54 years old. Happy Birthday, Birthday Buddy!

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Sally

I'm almost 60. I think there are more older than younger asexuals, actually. Once you pass menopause, sex just isn't that important.

Not being interested in sex isn't the same as being asexual, which is generally defined as not experiencing sexual attraction to other people. Some older women become not interested in sex because their estrogen levels go down and their libido is lowered. But asexuals can have normal or even high hormonal levels, but they don't feel attraction. That's me all through my long life -- I felt as little attraction at 18 as I do now.

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Lucinda

I would imagine that someone who is interested in having sex with other people and believes sex is important would actually be having sex ... especially if they have a sexual partner ... instead of seeking out an asexual website. ;)

Sassy Frass, welcome to the forum. If you say you are asexual, I believe you! :)

Lucinda

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Sally

I would imagine that someone who is interested in having sex with other people and believes sex is important would actually be having sex ... especially if they have a sexual partner ... instead of seeking out an asexual website. ;)

Sassy Frass, welcome to the forum. If you say you are asexual, I believe you! :)

Lucinda

That's true. But Sassy Frass was talking about menopausal women not being as interested in sex, not herself as an asexual.

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CompassRose

After planning to post here when I turned 50 for almost a year and a half, when the day finally came, I forgot completely! Now it's a few days late and I'm resurecting the thread, but I can't resist. So, I just turned 50 on Thanksgiving! :cake: for me! (The virtual kind being the only kind I consume.) Thanks to everyone else in the US for celebrating with me by consuming mass quantities of turkey and side dishes, then watching football, just like the pilgrims did. :D

My birthday was on Thanksgiving too! I turned 54 years old. Happy Birthday, Birthday Buddy!

Happy birthday indeed! :cake: for you!

Welcome to the forum, btw. More :cake: for being new!

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daveb

My birthday was on Thanksgiving too! I turned 54 years old. Happy Birthday, Birthday Buddy!

Welcome and have some more :cake:! You kid (I turned 55 in October. :lol:)

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savitarcyber

Yes, I am just 50 and am in a marriage!!!

Yes, I am just 50 and am in a marriage!!!

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Hopeless122

well past 50, nearly 60 . no dates , anything. The thing is I find that people cannot be trusted. without trust no relationship of any kind is worth anything. end of story.

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CherSK

Hi all. 56yrs here. I've blamed my asexuality on a hysterectomy, meds I have taken for 20 years as well, and rape. Since turning 50 I have come to realize I never liked it, sex that is, didn't understand the hype, it was a "duty", or a means to the end... Love. Since understanding, and accepting my asexuality, I am so much more comfortable with myself. My girlfriend and I, are very much inlove, but there is no sex between us. She seems ok with it, I do feel a tad guilty, but, I won't sell myself out.

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daveb

Welcome! Have some :cake:. It's great that you're feeling more comfortable with yourself now. :)

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Kelly

:cake: to Cher.

Welcome!

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SJ-J

not sure i know what i am doing

I can identify with that. I am new here.

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Moonchaser

I'm recent here, haven't posted much, and I'm 55. I feel a bit shy here, because I've only for a few years even understood what asexuality is and how well it explains me. I so wish I'd known what asexuality is - that it is something others share - when I was a kid.

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daveb

Welcome, Moonchaser! Have some :cake:.

I guess a lot of us "older" people spent decades not knowing about asexuality. I only discovered it myself a few years ago. So please don't feel shy because of that. At least we know now and being better informed we can make better decisions about our own lives and relationships and such. It's great that sites like AVEN exist now though, and visibility is increasing bit by bit.

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Sally

I so wish I'd know what asexuality is - that it is something others share - when I was a kid.

Oh yes indeedy! :D don't we all.

However, then I might not have had my kids. Definitely wouldn't have had my kids.

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Moonchaser

I'm almost 60. I think there are more older than younger asexuals, actually. Once you pass menopause, sex just isn't that important.

Not being interested in sex isn't the same as being asexual, which is generally defined as not experiencing sexual attraction to other people. Some older women become not interested in sex because their estrogen levels go down and their libido is lowered. But asexuals can have normal or even high hormonal levels, but they don't feel attraction. That's me all through my long life -- I felt as little attraction at 18 as I do now.

What I took Sassy Frass to mean is what I feel. I know that I've always been asexual - now that I know a name to call it. There was a time it was called low libido - which I'm sure is real but not what I experience. But I married, and did not want to displease my mate, so yes I became sexually active. Not as active as most people, certainly, but I went along with it for many years. It was ALWAYS to please him, though. Because I was perfectly happy without sex and even dreaded it to some degree.

Though I could find it enjoyable, I didn't ever seek it out. It's not something I think about, and never in the context of wanting sex. I never did, even as a teen. When I was attracted to boys, men (and I do have occasional crushes) it's always more in the context of romance.

Once I reached menopause, in addition to the physical changes that brings, I had some other issues going on (arthritis, fibromyalgia, lower back problems). It became less and less worth it to me to fake being a sexual person.

It was around then I happened across the term asexual and wondered what was meant by that. (I first read it in a biography of some famous literary person that I read on Wikipedia. I don't recall who the person was now.) So I looked it up, and one thing led to another. I joined this site a few years ago but only posted once or twice. Later I got a new computer and didn't remember my old sign-on, so here I am with a new one.

I'm a little braver this time around, a little more comfortable with the term asexual. I'm still not likely to "come out" because it's just not something I feel is important for me to do. I have talked to my husband about it, but I'm not sure he understands, and he didn't want to discuss it. My failure to ever initiate sex has always been a sticky issue.

I feel a little shy about posting all this. I might delete parts of it later. Sorry.

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Moonchaser

Welcome, Moonchaser! Have some :cake:.

I guess a lot of us "older" people spent decades not knowing about asexuality. I only discovered it myself a few years ago. So please don't feel shy because of that. At least we know now and being better informed we can make better decisions about our own lives and relationships and such. It's great that sites like AVEN exist now though, and visibility is increasing bit by bit.

Oh, thank you for the welcome and the cake! :)
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Tanwen

Welcome Moonchaser - have some more welcome :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :D

I can understand so much of your post, I'm 63 now, had spent my life trying to be like everyone else and fit in till I found AVEN and realized I was 'normal' after all - just different. Hope you'll enjoy it here as much as I do :)

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treetopteresa

Im 50 but will be 51 in a few months. I live in a small town and find it really had to meet others. I swear I need like a cheat sheet of all the terminology; I get easily confused. Never been in a relationship, but would consider myself a romantic.

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Old_Tired_Heavily_Armed

just turned 59..feel like im 159. you dont need a reason to be anywhere or a reason to be anything or a reason to be whatever you want to be. You also don't need a label to identify yourself or some imagined illness or abnormality. God is standing right beside you ready to catch you if you fall...even if you don't believe in him...and he's not very religious. He's very negative on money collected in His name to build buildings.

you are doing fine.

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