Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 @pickles mcgee the dark chocolates are from Thorntons and were a gift to the team just before Xmas. I went in and threw them yesterday. Nobody wanted the last one. I always say English is my second language when it comes to words like contemplative, but I can't help thinking that there are fashions. I'm thinking of the word Himalayas here. The emphasis used to be on the third syllable, but recently it seems to have moved to the second syllable. Hmmm... Welcome @Learning1! 🍰 Probably you'll find out as much about pronunciation as you will with pronouns. This is where I was going to put a smiley face but the icons page froze my phone!... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pickles. Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 8 minutes ago, chandrakirti said: I'm thinking of the word Himalayas here. The emphasis used to be on the third syllable, but recently it seems to have moved to the second syllable. Please tell me it isn't so! 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 Heard it on TV and among the more pretentious conversations in the last couple of years. Same with the word Cephalic in medical circles...went from c then k to start now back to c again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 @Learning1, welcome to AVEN 🎂 I think it's just the flexibility of the English language, I tend to emphasise the HIM in Himalayas, the TEM in contemplate for example 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Learning1 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 3 hours ago, pickles mcgee said: Welcome, @Learning1! 🍰 🍰 🍰 I've been on Aven since 2005, and have read many stories about mixed couples trying to stay together (and not just stay together, but flourish). Two of the forums I've learned the most from are "Asexual Relationships" and "For Sexual Partners, Friends and Allies." Lots of great threads in both of those--you are likely to see bits of your own situation mirrored in the posts. I did not end up staying married to my sexual long-term partner, but our issues were more complex than "just" our sexual incompatibility. Thanks! 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 Welcome, @Learning1! In For Sexual Partners..., Lara Black, anamikanon, and anisotropic (among others) are sexual people in relatively successful mixed relationships with asexual partners. They have each done things a bit differently. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sleepy Otter Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 I think I read somewhere that Merriam Webster takes the most popular pronunciation, although how they figure that out I have no idea. I believe I have pronounced "contemplative" both ways discussed, but now I am going to switch to "con-TEM-plah-tive" just because I was inspired by @chandrakirti and @Skycaptain! But I can never figure out how I actually pronounce a word when someone brings up the subject. Like scallops... And @ryn2, I watch too much tv and have heard your pronunciation (although it rhymes with "machine", no a on the end). I agree with @Skycaptain about the fluidity of the English language. Welcome @Learning1! Please have some cake 🎂 🍰. I cannot help you with your relationship as I discovered my asexuality not in a relationship either, but there is very good advice above about where to look. Good luck! @daveb I love the bit about comedians and pronunciation. I may have to look them up...lol! 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Sleepy Otter said: And @ryn2, I watch too much tv and have heard your pronunciation (although it rhymes with "machine", no a on the end) I’ve heard vuh jean (and just vuh jee) but never vuh gheen (g like gate or Ghandi). 😂 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Muledeer Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 6 hours ago, chandrakirti said: Same with the word Cephalic in medical circles...went from c then k to start now back to c again. I'll ask our resident Scots(wo)man this one: Celtic: soft c or hard c? Gallic: soft g or hard g? And while I'm at it, is it OK to call someone a Scotsman or is that a gender specific term? 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tyke Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Muledeer said: I'll ask our resident Scots(wo)man this one: Celtic: soft c or hard c? Gallic: soft g or hard g? And while I'm at it, is it OK to call someone a Scotsman or is that a gender specific term? I'm going to have a stab at these (Mother from Scotland, don't you know...) Hard c and hard g. And I'd just use the word Scot. Gallic - as in from Gaul (modern day France)?. Or did you mean Gaelic - which would also have a hard G. But for some reason is often pronounced a little bit like Garlic (although the 'r' sound is very muted). How am I doing, @chandrakirti? 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tunhope Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 (edited) 5 hours ago, ryn2 said: Welcome, @Learning1! In For Sexual Partners..., Lara Black, anamikanon, and anisotropic (among others) are sexual people in relatively successful mixed relationships with asexual partners. They have each done things a bit differently. Hello @Learning1 and welcome . You can add me to that list. I've been married fifty years but only put a name to things a few years ago. A helluva lot of compromises - on both sides - but it can be done. (Heh, that wouldn't be com-PRO-mises would it? I'm stunned to think that I've been pronouncing 'contemplative wrong all my long life. As long as people understand, I don't really think it matters too much though.) @Midland TykeWhat about Celtic the football team though? Isn't that always with a soft 'c' ? Edited January 23, 2019 by Tunhope sentence 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tyke Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 15 minutes ago, Tunhope said: What about Celtic the football team though? Isn't that always with a soft 'c' ? It is, you are right! But Celtic Manor, the Welsh golf course that hosted the Ryder Cup a few years back is a hard C. Isn't English wonderful? There's a discussion here http://www.funtrivia.com/askft/Question20366.html 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 Now we're getting snow! Fourteen inches on the snow stick and it's still coming down. @Learning1 welcome to AVEN! I cant help you in your situation as I was never in a committed relationship before I found out about asexuality. That being said I'm sure you will find the members here very helpful. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Tunhope said: What about Celtic the football team though? Isn't that always with a soft 'c' ? Same for the Boston Celtics (basketball?). With names I always figure whoever the name belongs to has the right to say how it is pronounced, even if that is different from standard pronunciation otherwise. I agree with hard c otherwise, and hard g for gallic/gaelic. Will be interested to see if our resident Scot has a different take. I agree with these comments: 1 hour ago, Tunhope said: As long as people understand, I don't really think it matters too much though. 1 hour ago, Midland Tyke said: Isn't English wonderful? 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spotastic Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 16 hours ago, Midland Tyke said: I've been reading that word as con-tem-PLAY-tive Am I alone? Same way I say it. And I've found that since I've lived in several different places around the US now, and live with people from Wisconsin, Texas, and New Jersey, you can't say that any word is just the "American" pronunciation. My sister, from NJ, pronounces crayon like "crown", but me, from the same place, pronounce it like CRAY-ahn. I pronounce bury like buhr-ree, and everyone not from NJ pronounced it like berry. I like how Spanish pronunciations are mostly always the same, since each letter has one way it is pronounced. LL has some variances by region, but that's mostly it. 13 hours ago, Learning1 said: Hi, Recently (given my age) realised I am asexual and am now in the difficult process of explaining to a very sexual long-term partner. Wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation and has been able to work through things to stay together? If so, what things helped? I've been married for 11 years and found out about asexuality almost 5 years ago. It actually helped with my marriage, because my wife knew that I wasn't just not interested in her, it was the sex and kissing that was off-putting. It took a long time (over a year) of discussing what we each wanted for intimacy, but eventually we found things that work for both of us. Making it work requires a lot of communication and not being afraid to talk about "awkward topics". 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, Tunhope said: @Midland TykeWhat about Celtic the football team though? Isn't that always with a soft 'c' ? Same for the Boston basketball team... ETA: oops, I see Dave beat me to it! Edited January 23, 2019 by ryn2 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 I'd say gallic for Scots language and Gaylic for Irish language - that's how the two cultures separate each other (not that Scots and Irish language is much different) @Midland Tyke. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 (edited) Excepting sports teams, the area where I live says Gaylic and Keltic. Agreed that there is no unified US pronunciation on many words. Even within my state there are significant pronunciation differences from place to place. We say cran (for crayon) and berry (for bury)... but we say droor (rhymes with door and floor) for drawer (the thing in your cabinets, not a person who draws) whereas the NYC folks say draw (for drawer). Edited January 23, 2019 by ryn2 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Muledeer Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 (edited) Here's my take: CONtemplative Keltic, except when they are the Boston Seltics GAalic (Ididn't know there was also a Gaelic but I never say those words anyway. hard g. CRAYon, berry and draw er I say mirror as mir and garage as grage, drawer as drar and police as plece, making them into one syllable words. There is a town close to me named Kemmerer, which everyone drops the last er. oh, and @Skycaptain I call them the Hima LAY as Edited January 24, 2019 by Muledeer 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Seltic describes a Scottish football team in my parlance and keltic , the culture. It's all a bit of a minefield! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 4 hours ago, chandrakirti said: Seltic describes a Scottish football team in my parlance and keltic , the culture. It's all a bit of a minefield! So we’re consistent with that, at least! 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tyke Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 On 1/21/2019 at 5:00 PM, Midland Tyke said: about 40F/4.5C here today. Ideal for a game of golf because, hey, why not? It was 0C(32F) - wind chill of minus 5 yesterday. So we only played 13 holes.... 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 40 minutes ago, Midland Tyke said: It was 0C(32F) - wind chill of minus 5 yesterday. So we only played 13 holes.... Wow! Your balls must have been frozen. Sorry. Couldn't stop myself. 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GarethOz Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Hi All, 50s here. Worked out after a string of go-nowhere relationships (mostly flings) that I must be asexual. Don't get the point. Don't have children. The trick is to find other things to make your life fulfilled. Also, learn not to be too hard or dismissive of ppl who rave about their kids or love life. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Welcome to AVEN, @GarethOz! 🍰 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nick2 Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 11 minutes ago, Tja said: Wow! Your balls must have been frozen. Sorry. Couldn't stop myself. Is this an asexual moment? 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 10 minutes ago, Nick2 said: Is this an asexual moment? Only if you thought he meant golfballs. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Welcome @GarethOz...🍰 Shame on you golfing jokers!😂...just joking! Its sooooo quiet here I think people will be redundant soon. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Too bad they couldn’t let you give shorter notice then! 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spotastic Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 We have a wind chill warning for this evening into the night. It is supposed to get down to -35F (-37C) and you could get frostbite within 10 minutes, even with layers on. Glad I didn't have anywhere to be today... 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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