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not sure i know what i am doing

I'm 56, and wish I had someone to talk to. That's really all I want, someone I can share interests with and have intelligent conversations with. That's been very hard to find in a society in which most are only interested in American Idol, Survivor, football, and sex.

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not sure i know what i am doing

Hi I'm new here, also. 57 last month and I don't know much about this computer stuff either. At least you managed to get your profile pic on. lol

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New here,age 58. Finding other people online who have similar experiences is kind of a shock! (In a good way :).) I have to adjust to this...btw, I also sleep alone. My husband and I have separate beds, (just like in the old TV shows). We started out as sexually oriented but neither of us seem to need "it", so we just drifted away from "it". I thought I was alone in feeling that I just don't relate to physical intercourse. So glad to find this forum!

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Good for you. What is the secret to having a happy asexual marriage?

New here,age 58. Finding other people online who have similar experiences is kind of a shock! (In a good way :).) I have to adjust to this...btw, I also sleep alone. My husband and I have separate beds, (just like in the old TV shows). We started out as sexually oriented but neither of us seem to need "it", so we just drifted away from "it". I thought I was alone in feeling that I just don't relate to physical intercourse. So glad to find this forum!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm about to hit 74. It's interesting to be learning more about my (not)sexuality and gender uncertainty at this age. Even if I'd known about it much, much earlier, it wouldn't have made a huge difference in my life. It would have eased some of my guilt about not being the best sex partner for my husband, and he would have understood me better (even though he was very patient and our sexual incompatibility didn't harm our marriage), but other than that, I can't see that it would have changed anything significantly. I'm very private, and not the kind of person to "come out" about anything.

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I'm about to hit 74. It's interesting to be learning more about my (not)sexuality and gender uncertainty at this age. Even if I'd known about it much, much earlier, it wouldn't have made a huge difference in my life. It would have eased some of my guilt about not being the best sex partner for my husband, and he would have understood me better (even though he was very patient and our sexual incompatibility didn't harm our marriage), but other than that, I can't see that it would have changed anything significantly. I'm very private, and not the kind of person to "come out" about anything.

Woooo. I'm not the oldest person on AVEN anymore, or the oldest to be learning they're asexual! :cake: to you!

I can just imagine a bunch of us older asexuals telling everyone we're asexual and hearing "So what? Do we care? You're OLD!" :lol: :lol: :lol:

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foreverastudent

New here,age 58. Finding other people online who have similar experiences is kind of a shock! (In a good way :).) I have to adjust to this...btw, I also sleep alone. My husband and I have separate beds, (just like in the old TV shows). We started out as sexually oriented but neither of us seem to need "it", so we just drifted away from "it". I thought I was alone in feeling that I just don't relate to physical intercourse. So glad to find this forum!

My husband and I slept in separate beds as well the last few years of our marriage because he was ill. It was wonderful for me because I didn't like sleeping (or anything else for that matter) with anyone anyway. I am equally as glad to find this forum because it means I am not alone and there are many many people who have the same feeling I have. Thanks for posting.

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I'm too young to remember World War II but old enough to remember the Moon landing!

Age doesn't matter here on AVEN, we're all friends.

Now where did I put that :cake:? Have some!

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Welcome, newbies! Have some :cake: (I like your user name, foreverastudent. :) )

Ah, the moon landings, I remember those, too. Weren't those amazing to see live on tv?

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They were brilliant, Dave. Absolutely nothing like them. And to think they happened in our lifetime is just amazing.

Maybe Man will eventually land on Mars or somewhere. The Moon landing proved it can be done!

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Yeah, I still get a chill/thrill just thinking of the phrase "The eagle has landed".

Some day I'm sure humans will walk on Mars (and other planets). The question is whether it will happen in our lifetimes (any of us alive today).

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There used to be a poster in the 70s that showed one woman saying to another, "If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they put them all there?" Many women had that poster. Of course, we don't feel that way now. ^_^

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My earliest memory of historical importance was 'The Bay of Pigs affair' and for three nights we'd go to bed not knowing if we'd wake up in the morning (my parents weren't bothered of course as they'd experienced the Blitz on Liverpool). Lightning hit the school I was in and we though the bombs had started flying :(

But I also remember the first live transmission from the USA via Telstar (and Goonhilly Downs - don't you think that's an amazing place name?) The moon landing was amazing though and looking up at the moon knowing men were looking down at earth...and that picture of earthrise when for the first time we saw what a jewel we lived on!

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My earliest memory of historical importance was 'The Bay of Pigs affair' and for three nights we'd go to bed not knowing if we'd wake up in the morning (my parents weren't bothered of course as they'd experienced the Blitz on Liverpool). Lightning hit the school I was in and we though the bombs had started flying :(

But I also remember the first live transmission from the USA via Telstar (and Goonhilly Downs - don't you think that's an amazing place name?) The moon landing was amazing though and looking up at the moon knowing men were looking down at earth...and that picture of earthrise when for the first time we saw what a jewel we lived on!

I have a rotten memory for specific happenings, but I do remember the end of WWII because my mother told me that my father would be coming home from the navy. But my strongest early memories are about fearing the end of everything in an atomic explosion. That haunted my late childhood and adolescence.

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The earliest memory I can tie to a specific historical event is the day JFK was assasinated. I don't really member any specifics, though (and what I think I remember may be colored by things I've heard since). I have one or two earlier memories and hints of memories, that I can place due to local/familial circumstances. But there are many things about my childhood I have forgotten (and many things about my adulthood, as well. :lol:).

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Here I am. Replying. To what I'm not sure, other than the fact that this is the first time I've been here and want to tell somebody my story. First of all, I'm 77 years old and way over the 50 spot, but I have just begun to realize that I am asexual. Now, you probably don't think it matters to someone my age, but I don't want to die not realizing it, nor finding out how come. For most of my life I have been convinced that I was gay. Well, it may not be so. I was brought up a Catholic and told, repeatedly, "Don't you EVER touch a girl." by my mother (what???? an authority figure?) Well, I didn't, but there was only one alternative, and to a 7 year old or 12 year old it worked pretty well and I made it keep on working (at least in my mind) for many, many years and FOUGHT to be who I thought I was (trust me, it ain't been easy). Can you imagine "wondering" for all these years? The thought struck me only in the past few weeks that I might not be straight but it needn't mean I'm gay, and I may really be asexual (I wasn't a very good "gay" either, I never did really get turned on.). I now know that I recognize beautiful women and handsome men, and thought I was having a really hot time until I realized that I talked the talk but didn't walk the walk. This gets complicated, but I have lived a two-dimensional life up until now (from coast to coast and every gar bar in between) and would not let the third dimension in. Now I see the entire world in a different way. I need encouragement, conversation with others who might really understand me, etc.. I know, I'm old. But as I say, the answer before I'm not here anymore would be wonderful, and MAYbe, just maybe I can hold a human in my arms like I hold my dog, with complete love. I've checked out the Platonic thing and it comes close - maybe I have to read more there. I'm open to all. Thom (If this gets as interesting as it could I don't know if I could stand it,which might make the whole thing an exercise in futility - but lets try.)

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Welcome, Thom. I hope you find some answers.

Have some :cake: (it's something we do here, because cake is better sex)

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Lissen. I have recently joined a group addressing agoraphobia also. I don't know if the two are connected,might be (Agoraphobia and Asexuality)- but you can't do a lot of running around if you're phobic, and you don't want to run around much if you're asexual. I had thought of trying to start an Agoraphobia Anonymous group locally but I don't think I could get anyone to come. When you realized, or decided that you were or are asexual, did a big load lift from your shoulders? I seem to see people in an altogether different light now. Actually, I'm looking with more personal interest than I used to. Years ago, when I worked in retail and thought I was gay, a really hot guy came into the store and I got really excited. It took me a while to realize that I didn't WANT him, I wanted to BE him. There was a difference. Anybody but me, and he looked "together" whereas I'm not and may never be (and "never" isn't that long a time, trust me). I've played games with me and everybody else all my life and now that it's stopping I'm scared to death. Popular? Some days I am, and some days I take a really good look around and thank God I'm not - I couldn't handle the games played by others. I know, I sound "out of it" and may well be, but time's aflying, folks and I have to get this straightened out. Who am I anyway. What's left when you take away the sex? Mine or anybody elses? I gotta get digging. But enough about me. Anybody got any more cake?

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[Megan, from what you mention about your marital relationship and your both seeming to be comfortable, sounds like you're way ahead of the gang. I live alone, and I know what it's like not to have someone to talk to and with, so if that's what's missing I think you're making a good move here. We can pray. Thom

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They were brilliant, Dave. Absolutely nothing like them. And to think they happened in our lifetime is just amazing.

Maybe Man will eventually land on Mars or somewhere. The Moon landing proved it can be done!

La Maestra - your quote is wonderful, and if it's any indication as to who you are, you're a one man band. March on and lets all have a parade. Thanks for the neat thought. Thom

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Lissen. I have recently joined a group addressing agoraphobia also. I don't know if the two are connected,might be (Agoraphobia and Asexuality)- but you can't do a lot of running around if you're phobic, and you don't want to run around much if you're asexual. I had thought of trying to start an Agoraphobia Anonymous group locally but I don't think I could get anyone to come. When you realized, or decided that you were or are asexual, did a big load lift from your shoulders? I seem to see people in an altogether different light now. Actually, I'm looking with more personal interest than I used to. Years ago, when I worked in retail and thought I was gay, a really hot guy came into the store and I got really excited. It took me a while to realize that I didn't WANT him, I wanted to BE him. There was a difference. Anybody but me, and he looked "together" whereas I'm not and may never be (and "never" isn't that long a time, trust me). I've played games with me and everybody else all my life and now that it's stopping I'm scared to death. Popular? Some days I am, and some days I take a really good look around and thank God I'm not - I couldn't handle the games played by others. I know, I sound "out of it" and may well be, but time's aflying, folks and I have to get this straightened out. Who am I anyway. What's left when you take away the sex? Mine or anybody elses? I gotta get digging. But enough about me. Anybody got any more cake?

I'm also agoraphobic. I had two years housebound but I get out more these days. It's a nightmare and I get no help with it, other than a local church group who do my shopping for me on really bad days.

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Shadow and Sally - it is funny, isn't it? It's almost as exciting as the day I quit smoking. The day I woke up and found out that "OMG, He/She' got one tooooo???? And here I bin worrying about it all these years. Long as you have your minds m'friends, you're alright by me. Be happy and lets talk (I'm 77 and male). Remember, ALL of us are younger than Joan Rivers. I enjoy just talking (and laughing, big time). Always did. Thom

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Kalla, I don't know if you've read my posts or not, but I really am interested in meeting other minds with the same questions. This could be a most exciting time for you, you've got time to work out some great stuff. Maybe I can help, maybe not, but as you may have noticed I can talk (and talk and talk). It's a trait of agoraphobics and closet asexuals. We're here, lets go. thom

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I have a strange form of agoraphobia -- I can go places by driving myself, but can't stand to be driven or go on public transportation. And even driving myself, I worry about the car breaking down and having to ride in a tow truck. Maybe I've been told I'm agoraphobic because they can't figure out what I actually have.

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  • 2 weeks later...

not sure i know what i am doing

Hi! I just found this place last night. I will be 53 next month, and I really never knew there was such a thing as asexual, but I always knew I was different, that I just never felt a need to have sex with another person, it just never happened for me. It is so good to know I am not alone. I have felt that way a lot over my life, never felt like my friends understood me, or my family. So, I hope we can be friends!

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not sure i know what i am doing

Hi! I just found this place last night. I will be 53 next month, and I really never knew there was such a thing as asexual, but I always knew I was different, that I just never felt a need to have sex with another person, it just never happened for me. It is so good to know I am not alone. I have felt that way a lot over my life, never felt like my friends understood me, or my family. So, I hope we can be friends!

Welcome Neffie! Have some :cake:

(We give lots of cake out around here, since :cake: is better than sex)

I discovered the existence of asexuality last summer when I was 48. It is indeed good to know we are not alone, isn't it?

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