Adultery

[Arvandor]

Where would you rank adultery as a crime/sin?

I've always classified as just a minor sin. It's wrong, but understandable and forgivable. Especially if you're NOT the one being cheated on, then you shouldn't really hold it against the cheater.

But I've been arguing on another forum with people who seem to believe that adultery is a major sin. They seriously ranked it alongside murder and child abuse (their justification being that a broken marriage leaves children traumatized).

My opinion, of course, is from the viewpoint of someone who has never known romantic love, and never will.

What do you think?

[Vicious Trollop]

For me, adultery is, well, generally wrong, but relative. If you're in a loveless or abusive marriage, it is less wrong. It's not something I get worked up about. It violates the fundamental trust in a relationship, and I believe honesty has to be #1, but I don't think of it as a major sin and certainly not a crime. But that comes from someone who both is an agnostic and places no emotional or moral importance on sex.

[JimDandy]

Well, I've never much thought about it.

Unless a law or legally binding contract is broken, it certainly isn't a civil crime. Which leaves us in the realm of religion and ethics.

As far as sin goes, it depends on the religion. But, being an athiest, that's taken care of pretty neatly. :lol:

Which leaves us with ethics. Adultery, I think, would fall pretty well into the "Lying" catagory. That is, a person promises another person they will have sex with only that person and no one else, and then goes out and does it anyway.

So, to sum up.

Illegal? No.

Sin? Depends.

Unethical. Yep.

How's that for stating the obvious! :lol:

[fluffy_hime]

If I ever got married, adultery on my partner's part would pretty much break the deal. EDIT to say, or any dating relationship as well.

I do not understand cheating in marriage or other relationships. Loyalty & trust are extremely important to me. I HATE it when people are disloyal.

[mizkitty2107]

I think adultery would rate pretty high on my list of sins. That's just a betrayal that would be hard to get past. I understand that there is going to be some reason behind it, and maybe getting to that reason would help, but I couldn't imagine looking at Josh and not seeing the other woman in his arms. That would definitely hurt my heart.

[Rabger]

Well, I don't believe its a sin because Im an atheist and think sins are just human made stuff that has no bearing on anything. Crime... well, not really. But its something that really gets me off on a tangent, just like casual sex. I know other people have other morals, but for some reason those two just get me bitching. I'm in a romantic relationship, so that's where I'm coming from. But even before that, I just generally lose some respect to anyone that does that sort of thing. I think sex should only be done with emotion behind it (not so say that its THE top intimacy thing, but I can't understand it in the least when people do it just to do it). I say, if the idea of cheating even creeps into someone's head as something they want to do, they should just break up with the person theyre seeing and then do it. It doesn't seem like a hard thing to do in most circumstances. I mean if they want to cheat in the first place, the relationship must not be that big a deal to them anyway.

[LC]

I'm not generally comfortable with "ranking" sins in terms of which ones are worse than others, but I do think adultery is wrong. It is a huge betrayal of trust to someone you've made a lifelong commitment to. And if there are children involved, you're likely to do a lot of damage to them as well as to your spouse if you commit adultery.

Also, my personal belief is that sex (for those who choose to have it) should be reserved for a monogamous, lifelong relationship, and adultery certainly isn't compatible with that!

[Guest]

Marriages don't need adultery to break them up and traumatize the kids. Personal incompatability+mid life crisis did my parents in quite handily.

While I don't think in terms of adultery being a sin, it is a serious breach of trust. :cry: :? :( :x

It's probably the single most conservative opinion I hold that marriage should be a lifetime committment, so anyone entering into a marriage had better be best friends, buddies, and hold each other to be utterly trustworthy. Oddly, my mother (the religious nut) and I (the athiest) actually agree on something.

I'm also of the opinion that Dating is for the purpose of seeing if two people are compatible to marry. My mother though divorced (after 18 years and three kids) married the first guy she ever dated. She now claims she was too young to know any better but what adult decades after a mistake doesen't blame youth? She has now been happily married for ten years to the second guy she ever dated. Seems to work for her. Damn if I know how though.

Now as for the biggest, stupidest, most dishonest event I have ever personally witnessed...

I know a woman a few years older than I am who got married three years ago. The bride had two pregnancies close together, both by the same father who she'd been living with for some time. Then the father's brother moved in and she got involved with him whilst daddy was out at work doing long hours. When he found out she broke up with both of them and married the next door neighbour. Who she had apparntly been having long heartfelt discussions with for sometime. One of the daughters was a flower girl and the other the ringbearer. The truly appalling thing is mommy dearest has been a friend of the family all her life. She used to babysit me. Guy number three is a nice guy, but one and two including daddy were total loosers. So what was this reasonably bright girl DOING for cripes sake??? I do not get it.

[Alya]

Marriages don't need adultery to break them up and traumatize the kids. Personal incompatability+mid life crisis did my parents in quite handily.

While I don't think in terms of adultery being a sin, it is a serious breach of trust. :cry: :? :( :x

It's probably the single most conservative opinion I hold that marriage should be a lifetime committment, so anyone entering into a marriage had better be best friends, buddies, and hold each other to be utterly trustworthy. Oddly, my mother (the religious nut) and I (the athiest) actually agree on something.

I'm also of the opinion that Dating is for the purpose of seeing if two people are compatible to marry. My mother though divorced (after 18 years and three kids) married the first guy she ever dated. She now claims she was too young to know any better but what adult decades after a mistake doesen't blame youth? She has now been happily married for ten years to the second guy she ever dated. Seems to work for her. Damn if I know how though.

Now as for the biggest, stupidest, most dishonest event I have ever personally witnessed...

I know a woman a few years older than I am who got married three years ago. The bride had two pregnancies close together, both by the same father who she'd been living with for some time. Then the father's brother moved in and she got involved with him whilst daddy was out at work doing long hours. When he found out she broke up with both of them and married the next door neighbour. Who she had apparntly been having long heartfelt discussions with for sometime. One of the daughters was a flower girl and the other the ringbearer. The truly appalling thing is mommy dearest has been a friend of the family all her life. She used to babysit me. Guy number three is a nice guy, but one and two including daddy were total loosers. So what was this reasonably bright girl DOING for cripes sake??? I do not get it.

[O'Really]

It is debatable that adultery is wrong, but a crime? A crime based on what? Religious beliefs?

[Lorelei]

Adultery is majorly wrong to me because it's breaking a promise, and in a sexual relationship you might also bring home an STD that will permanently screw the other person.

A crime? Sure, why not? A marriage is as much a financial agreement as it is anything else, and if contract-having business partners break their agreement, one could sue the other other. I don't think it's a go to jail crime, but certainly a wind up in civil court sort of thing. (Is that called a crime? I guess not, then, since you're not arrested or anything. But you should certainly wind up in court over a broken contract.)

[KidKash]

Sin: I do not have the religious foundation to decide whether it is a sin or not.

Crime: It's not against the law, at least not as far as I know.

I do believe that adultery is deceptive. While I think that there a many temptations in this life for everyone, I do not believe that they must be acted upon. If one's temptations are affecting him or her that drastically, then I believe that that person should end the relationship as opposed to lying to someone else.

In addition, there are so many traceable and nontraceable STDs going around the place; I know I would be pissed if my body parts were not functioning properly because of a disease and I've been the faithful one in a relationship.

[HansonFan82]

No, adultery is not a crime. I don't like the word "sin". But I think that it IS morally wrong.

[Shivers]

If you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship. If you dont wanna be in the relationship anymore, find your backbone and fess up. If you want both, dont be friggin greedy. You're just screwing with others' emotions.

People who take back cheating spouses REALLY tick me off. They'll do it again, you know, folks.

[anakin005]

Adultery is horrible and while you hear about it all the time If I was hetero I could never ever imagine doing it.

[anima]

Crime? No.

Sin? Yes.

Adultery is betraying someone's trust and that is the worst thing you can do to someone without physically harming them.

[Hexpiral]

If we see marriage as a legal contract, and adultery is a one-sided breaking of the contract, shouldn´t it be a crime? I know little of American or British legal systems (But know enough to know they´re horrendously complicated), and perhaps crime is not the best word for it, but it should be penalized.

Obviously I´d say it´s a sin, but I´m religious and it´s personal concept. But I beleive any kind of betrayal is universaly immoral.

[ATLien]

As for adultery and the break-up of a marriage traumatizing the kids, in my case living with my parents is what traumatized me. Even if they broke up, i would likely have had to live with one of them anyway, and i'm not sure how much of an improvement that would have been.

On another message board i belong to the question was asked: "If your present self could go back to your 12-year-old self, what would you tell him/her?"

My answer was: "Run away from home -- NOW!

[pejoratist]

I do not view adultery as wrong on a moral basis. I can see nothing truly "immoral" in the act of adultery. Adultery breaks a marriage contract, which I could see as wrong on a certain level, but not a moral one.

[biggreenmonkey]

I don't think crime, however it should be penalized somehow. Like other have said, it's a serious breach of trust. Also, you are endangering the person you're married to, as you never know what kind of STDs are living in someone. So you're knowingly breaking someone's trust AND threatening their health- I think there should be some sort of legal reprocussion for that.

[anakin005]

Crime? No.

Sin? Yes.

Adultery is betraying someone's trust and that is the worst thing you can do to someone without physically harming them.

i find mental pain a million times worse than physical (maybe cuz im a masochist and MA?.) anyone else this way?

[Shivers]

Crime? No.

Sin? Yes.

Adultery is betraying someone's trust and that is the worst thing you can do to someone without physically harming them.

i find mental pain a million times worse than physical (maybe cuz im a masochist and MA?.) anyone else this way?

Yup... 3 of the 4 worst traumas I can remember are mental.

[borrowedTime]

Part of what religions are about is defining what is right and what is wrong. And so I think it is totally justified that most contemporary religious thought sees it as a sin - this is a reasoned and logical approach, because, as has been said, it centres on a betrayal of trust.

In a non-religious frame of reference, I'd say that saying it is unethical is pretty much the same thing as religions defining it as a sin. Both of these classifications are simply declaring that adultery is wrong.

If we see marriage as a legal contract, and adultery is a one-sided breaking of the contract, shouldn´t it be a crime? I know little of American or British legal systems (But know enough to know they´re horrendously complicated), and perhaps crime is not the best word for it, but it should be penalized.

I somewhat agree with you...

Part of what marriages are is a legal contract. And indeed, adultery generally breaks that contract (depending on the implicit wording of the contract, which is really defined in law).

So it's fair to say that adultery can be used as a reason to dissolve a marriage, and possibly have some effect on the resulting divorce settlement.

I don't think, however, that it should count as a 'crime', as such (which would place it in criminal law, not civil law). That is to say, I don't think there should be any penalty beyond what may be defined in the (civil) divorce proceedings.

Personally I'd say it should be forgivable - humans are prone to weakness in spite of their best intentions. This is especially so when the person who cheated is truly sorry for what they've done.

But if it happens more than once or twice, it may indicate a problem in (or perhaps the end of) the relationship. It would be wrong to expect someone to constantly put up with their partner cheating on them. (But there should still be forgivness, even then - along with an acceptance that the relationship no longer worked for them.)

[Rukin Vinter]

There's no religious ideals involved int the adultery question for me, as I'm agnostic. However, my parents' marriage broke up over an affair, and I tend to think cheating as the "weasel way" out of a relationship.... betrayal, deceit, not at all how a relationship should be conducted or ended. Then there's the whole issue of how it shows an incredible lack of responsibility or restraint to abandon an already existing family that a person chose to have for a better sex life. Even when a family's not involved, I think a commitment takes priority over animal urges. I find cheaters and cheating incredibly hard to justify.

On the other hand, I find the following the following scenario very annoying: Person A and Person B are heterosexual, and dating/married. Person B is female, and has a close friend, Person C, who is male. They talk often and casually hug once in a while, because they know each other. However, Person A assumes that Person B is cheating on him because of this, or he thinks that Person C is trying to steal his significant other, and Person A's friends all make stupid remarks about both Persons B and C having an affair. That's just paranoid, stupid, and creating divisions based on gender for people who are romantically or sexually committed.

Relationships should be filled with loyalty and commitment between two people, and a betrayal of that commitment is not respectable. However, if being in a relationship means that you have to give up certain (platonic) friends or way of expressing said form of friendship, that's going too far.

[Orpheus]

Its a crime in the military, adn should be in the civilian world. ITs the reason Im not married, I was suppose to be but she slept around, now we're no more. Shame, I really like her, Hell I had sex with her!!!

fucking bitch :evil:

[Silly Green Monkey]

Orpheus! You exist!

[Orpheus]

What's that suppose to mean? Am I some kind of a legend?

[Silly Green Monkey]

I've just only seen you in ancient posts, and you're listed as missing.

[Orpheus]

I am? COOL! Where?

[Silly Green Monkey]

Hmmmm.... I don't know if it's in the MIA thread or somewhere else...