Another Dan Savage column

[(SP)]

http://www.theonionavclub.com/savagelove/i....php?issue=4041

The link contains cartoon nudity.

Do you think the very first letter has anything to do with asexuality or not, a couple of people have thought so, but I'm not sure.

I'll copy it here-and no cartoon nudity.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I am a 35-year-old straight male, and my sex drive is all but dead.

I find sex tedious and repulsive. The odors of sex disgust me; I find the grunts and positions absurd. Lately, whenever I meet a woman, I immediately size her up: Is her skin leathery? What about cellulite? Weight distribution? Stained teeth? Arm hair? Bad breath? Even if most of these things are a pass, I seem to have some compulsive terminator-like mechanism that sizes up how she'll look naked—in the morning, in a year, or in 20. All women fail this test.

As a result, I haven't dated or had sex in more than three years. When I was younger, I never used to notice these things. Most of the available women my age have tanned, smoked, or had drug problems—and I can read this stuff on their skin like text on a TelePrompTer. I've discussed this with therapists and psychiatrists. They always say, "You don't want a relationship." But that never stopped me from dating and fucking when I was younger.

My other area of concern is that I go weeks without masturbating, and when I do, it's hard to keep my mind from wandering. I've had my testosterone checked, and it's normal. I don't do any drugs, and am in very good health and shape. There was a time when just about every girl I saw turned me on—stretch marks, cellulite, bad breath, and all—so I know there's something wrong. So, Dan, am I just fucked up? Are my balls broken? My antidepressants not working? Are they working too well? Do I have an unborn twin in my scrotum? Should I start popping Viagra and humping strippers, like Mom tells me to?

Nothing Arouses My Broken Libido's Ambition

My first reaction to your letter: Christ, what a mess.

As someone with body-image issues of my own, I can’t in good conscience send innocent women into the buzz saw that is your cruel gaze.

My second reaction: I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I gave you advice, NAMBLA (cute), that actually resulted in some poor woman waking up next to you one morning. No woman's ass, to say nothing of her self-esteem, could possibly survive the kind of scrutiny to which you would subject it. As someone with body-image issues of my own, I can't in good conscience send innocent women into the buzz saw that is your cruel gaze. So why not leave all those nice, leathery women alone and just be a single guy?

Wouldn't you be happier alone anyway? I detect in your letter a desire to please your mother and/or your therapist by getting it together and starting to date again. But you seem content to me as is. You can't stand stinking human bodies, you don't miss sex or masturbation, and you're only in psychological torment when you worry about the sexual relationships you're told by society (and mothers and therapists) that you're supposed to want. But if you can't stand real human bodies—all of which stink from time to time, all of which eventually fall apart in revolting ways—and if you don't miss sex, well... gee... why not do all the women out there a favor by forgoing sex altogether? Bag it. Sex just isn't for you. Move on.

[Kez]

Wasnt there a thread about NAMBLA a while ago?

[Islander9]

NAMBLA/AMBLA = North American Men/Boy/Lovers/Association

-American Men/Boy/Lovers/Associated

Sorry.(Well, no I'm not - I HATE) cant stand paedophiles, havent any time for them at all-

you're right in there with bestialists, necrophilists, rapists of all & any descriptions-

the only kind of sexual congress that *should* be legitimate is

between CONSENTING KNOWLEDGABLE FULLY AWARE ADULTS-

(and okay, we wont go into juvenile/junvenile/adolescent/adolescent sex

because, hey, do we need to? Nope.)

with fervour, Islander9

who spent 5 dreary years on my country's Print & Media Censorship Board

aka The Indecent Publications Tribunal

[mindlife]

As someone with body-image issues of my own, I can’t in good conscience send innocent women into the buzz saw that is your cruel gaze.

My second reaction: I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I gave you advice, NAMBLA (cute), that actually resulted in some poor woman waking up next to you one morning.

One thing I've always admired about Dan Savage is his capacity to see the complex relationship of emotions involved in sexual or intimate interactions. Once he was describing the relationship of contempt to attraction, and said that it really amounted to a cover for the vulnerability we all must show when we are romantically or sexually attracted to someone. It is a vulnerability we cannot mask if we try, and so we add the notes of contempt to somehow feel "safe." It was one of the most incisive observations about emotions, about love and defensiveness, I've ever heard. I think Savage is brilliant and his compassion is well illustrated in the column above. He's a good voice to have out there, thank God for him.

[Cate Perfect]

I agree with mindlife--Dan Savage can be incredibly (surprisingly) insightful [sp?]. And I think the guy in the column could very well be a. He could also be a misogynist. His hatred of...pretty much everything human about a woman might just be a mask for his asexuality, though.

Cate

[ApolloSeek]

The Onion is a satire magazine-a very good one. Its content should be viewed with that in mind.

[Eta Carinae]

The Onion has a non-satire section, of which Savage's column is part. Note that the column appears other places besides the Onion, too.

[Fermatprime]

NAMBLA/AMBLA = North American Men/Boy/Lovers/Association

National Association of Marlon Brando Look-Alikes!

It's an interesting letter, but I'm not sure about the dude's being asexual. Read the very end.