SuperSinger Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 As many of you know, I've only just recently found the asexual community! I do not like sex nor do I want sex. Hence my reason for being here... HOWEVER.... where does masterbation fall into asexuality?! [Thread title edited by mod. It was making me nuts.] Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 As many of you know, I've only just recently found the asexual community! I do not like sex nor do I want sex. Hence my reason for being here... HOWEVER.... where does masterbation fall into asexuality?! We tend to define asexuality as not being sexually attracted to anybody. Some of us do have the necessary hormones and physiological responses for sexual acts but still do not experience said attraction. Masturbation allows one to relieve the hormone buildup without the help of another person. And some people just plain enjoy it. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperSinger Posted October 18, 2004 Author Share Posted October 18, 2004 makes sence. I'm still wondering how well... or NOT so well... I fit in here. I DO feel physical attractions... and enjoy even foreplay with girls (and I'm quite good at it too).... I just don't enjoy actual SEX. Link to post Share on other sites
Vicious Trollop Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 I couldn't find a poll on the subject, but if I had to guess I doubt a majority of asexuals here do masturbate. A number of us do, but I doubt most do. Anyway, plenty do not feel the need. So that's no reason to feel an outsider :) Link to post Share on other sites
SuperSinger Posted October 18, 2004 Author Share Posted October 18, 2004 So that's no reason to feel an outsider :) I do anyway... I'm different from "normal" people in that I don't enjoy sex. I'm different from asexuals in that I get sexual urges and have attraction and even enjoy other sexual activities.... I just don't belong anywhere! :? Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Other people here are that way--they enjoy most things up to actual genital contact. And I think Virago was saying that you shouldn't feel like an outsider here, not the rest of the world. In the rest of the world you're a big weirdo. :P Just like the rest of us. Cate Link to post Share on other sites
Dolly Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Thats kind of a bit how I'm feeling, I just didnt know how to put it! I wrote a load of stuff about things with my b/f and maybe there was somthing "not normal" about me coz I'm so scared about sex, I mean being a virgin. I began to wonder if maybe its deeper than that. I have a very close relationship involving lots of physical contact and plenty of foreplay as you put it, but when it comes to actually doing the deed, I shy away. I'm not sure if it scares or if I really dont like the idea. I dont think I'm asexual now, having got a lot of things off my chest here, but I feel as though I can relate more here - and what you've said has just summed it up perfectly! However, maybe I'll change my mind after I lose my virginity? Did you feel this way before you did? Or did you like the idea of it before, then realise you didnt after? I get the feeling I'd enjoy it (after the first few painful times!) and I enjoy everything else - I just cant bring myself to do it, so dont feel as though I "fit" in anywhere! I get comments from friends, saying well, youre going to do it eventually, so you might aswell do it now, then you wont be scared so to speak. Get it over and done with. But I dont feel like that. I feel as though my current b/f is the one I want to be my first, but I want it to be the right time and have been made to feel abnormal for taking so long over it. I dont think this is fair. Thats why I'm so glad I've met you people coz you can possibly see it from a different angle to my friends who dont see it as a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Vicious Trollop Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 And I think Virago was saying that you shouldn't feel like an outsider here, not the rest of the world. In the rest of the world you're a big weirdo. :P Just like the rest of us. Exactly -- thank you. I'm happy to feel like an outsider in the world, but I fit in here and so do you, SS. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperSinger Posted October 19, 2004 Author Share Posted October 19, 2004 Did you feel this way before you did? Or did you like the idea of it before, then realise you didnt after? I'm honestly not sure. before loosing my virginity on my 19th birthday (I'll be 21 next week), I was planning on saving myself for marriage. I've always been kinda shy about sexual stuff... I once freaked out about a girl who was topless being very playful with me..... So, I wanted to wait, and I was shy... but I wasn't really sure how I felt about sex. I guess my feelings was "what's the big deal about sex?" After loosing my virginity, I still wondered "what's the big deal about sex?"! I didn't see what was so amazing about it that people wanted to have it all time. I still don't. I've now had sex with 3 different girls... and I still feel the same way. I find it unenjoyable. It also just feels weird to me... I'm not really sure how to explain it. I'm not repulsed by it as some asexuals are... I just REALLY DO NOT LIKE IT! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest starling Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 I have to masturbate. :( It feels good, but it makes me think and do things I'm not comfortable with, and it wastes a lot of time. I can be a real slow burner at times. I tried to leave off for once, and experienced a problem similar to being on a constant caffeine high, down to muscle twitches and sleeplessness. Gave up after about 5 days, might give it another go sometime. I hear it's not as hard the second time. Some of us just have the hormones, but not the brain to deal with it. Am currently exploring external ways to adjust the hormones more to my liking. :twisted: Link to post Share on other sites
JJthe8th Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 I DO feel physical attractions... and enjoy even foreplay with girls (and I'm quite good at it too).... I just don't enjoy actual SEX. I feel the same way. I enjoy giving, I just don't want my bits and peices touched. So, you know that there is someone else like you out there. Link to post Share on other sites
katilian Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 I get comments from friends, saying well, youre going to do it eventually, so you might aswell do it now, then you wont be scared so to speak. Get it over and done with. But I dont feel like that. I feel as though my current b/f is the one I want to be my first, but I want it to be the right time and have been made to feel abnormal for taking so long over it. I dont think this is fair. Thats why I'm so glad I've met you people coz you can possibly see it from a different angle to my friends who dont see it as a big deal. Seriously, sex is always a "big deal," if only because it carries the potential of pregnancy and the transmission of STDs. Pardon me for being preachy, but when you're confident you're ready (and hopefully not before then) and you decide to go ahead and have sex with your boyfriend, be very, very sure that you're using adequate protection--preferably more than one type. /sermon Back on the topic of the thread--every several months, I'll feel the need to masturbate, but it's all hormone-related and happens at a certain point in my cycle (thankfully not every time I hit that point). It's not related to another *person* at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Hermitess Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 So that's no reason to feel an outsider :) I do anyway... I'm different from "normal" people in that I don't enjoy sex. I'm different from asexuals in that I get sexual urges and have attraction and even enjoy other sexual activities.... I just don't belong anywhere! :? Hey, I'm normal and I don't enjoy sex! :cry: Link to post Share on other sites
balletrich Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 Hello, I am 31, I have been sexually active since I was 16 years old, and NOT ONCE has it done anything for me apart from cause discomfort. Also, I am attracted to people of both sexes, by the way they articulate themselves, or by their personality, but in NO WAY is this attraction sexual (something I have had great difficulties with, in social situations with others getting the wrong ideas) That said, very rarely, I do get the urge to masterbate, but I couldnt possibly get "arroused" by, or with someone else, it just doesnt happen for me. Before discovering this site, I thought I was the only one, as thats what everybody else leads you believe. Link to post Share on other sites
Metsubo Posted October 27, 2004 Share Posted October 27, 2004 makes sence.I'm still wondering how well... or NOT so well... I fit in here. I DO feel physical attractions... and enjoy even foreplay with girls (and I'm quite good at it too).... I just don't enjoy actual SEX. I'm in the same boat as you, almost exactly. Especially on the good at outercourse bit. I've made the few women I've been with have orgasms simply from foreplay. One of them had a mighty powerful one, and I felt pretty proud of myself for that. I get the feeling I'd enjoy it (after the first few painful times!) Another reason to masturbate. I strongly reccomend every female to break their own hymen, simply because it makes tasks for the...downstairs...much easier, not to mention if there is ever a period of time in your life when you feel sexually inclined enough to experiment, you don't have to worry about hating it after the first time because it was painful. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly Green Monkey Posted October 27, 2004 Share Posted October 27, 2004 The hymen is not the only barrier to intercourse, and is often broken by exercise or tampons. Another factor causing pain during intercourse is the tenseness in the muscles of the pelvic floor, which resist stretching. Stretching the muscles is recommended before intercourse to minimize pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Dolly Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 Oh yay, I'm so looking forward to it all now! Not! I wish us women didnt have to go through all this and we could just get straight to the good stuff instead of all the s**t before! Actaully, me a my b/f were talking about that - breaking my barrier! I was like, nah, lets just do it, get it over with - short and sharp, rip the plaster off so to speak. He seems to think it would be better off to try and erm, prepare me a bit more - stretch me a bit! Pull the plaster off slowly. Less pain for a longer period of time or bloody hell get that thing out of me but at least its over quick. I just cant decied! Link to post Share on other sites
Metsubo Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 Uhhh, it's either less pain for a longer period of pain, or a lot of pain for a long period of time. It's not something that happens instantaneously. Like she said, the muscles DON'T WANT TO STRETCH. Also, you don't sound very asexual >_> Link to post Share on other sites
Aeireono Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 I think Dolly's already stated that she isn't asexual? I don't really know if I still have mine. I'm going to assume so, though... not like I've ever cared to check... or that I really care to do anything about it. If I ever were to suddenly become interested, then yeah, maybe I would see about breaking it, I dunno. As it stands, though, I have no reason to bother. (as for medical exams, my doctor took me off the list for those upon learning I was a virgin, so that seems okay) Link to post Share on other sites
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