Hotness blindness

[Galen]

As a sexual, I probably would say the same of Jolene Blalock, she isn't all that awesome, but as the saying goes I wouldn't throw her out either.

[PyroNeko]

My roommate keeps on pointing out hot girls to me, and I can't even tell which ones he's referring to. It's not just that I would pick the wrong person out of a lineup, but that I wouldn't be able to pick anyone at all.

I feel like this is the most striking feature of my asexuality. However, I understand that not all asexuals are blind to hotness, and I've heard that some sexuals are blind to hotness.

Are there any sexuals here who experience hotness blindness? How does that work?

Yes...I'm an asexual, and I tend to be in the same boat you're describing here. I always just thought I was weird or that something was wrong with me...I didn't know anyone else experienced this.

[Apollonian]

I've never understood what "hot" is, and have always thought it to be a dumb term. Someone who's "hot" is uncomfortably warm due to temperature.

[mindsword]

I wouldn't say that I'm blind so much that attractiveness doesn't "get" to me as much as it does to other people. That is, I can recognize that a person is attractive or hot or whatever, but it doesn't really effect me as it might others.

Pretty much what I was going to say. I'm really bad at the attractive monitor, but I know that some people are attractive and some are not. I can tell, but it means absolutely nothing.

[Mogwai]

The other day I said goodbye to a client at work, and after he'd gone the receptionist said something to me about him being really hot. My response was something like "Is he? I guess." I don't think of it as blindness as such - I could see how people might find him attractive, but he wasn't my type - which is what I usually say in that situation. Sexuals understand that, because everyone has a "type" they're attracted to. The difference is, with me, absolutely everyone is like that and nobody is "my type"!

Ha! Yes, this. Thank you, this happens to me a lot with a co-worker, she says oh such and such the really good looking one and I kind of look blank and shrug. I'd use the 'not my type' line, but she'd ask me what my type was to which my response would probably be errr as yet undiscovered. Tragically some years ago I went to a film premiere and met (however briefly) Mr Depp and another co-worker is therefore convinced I have some massive crush on him (if I were going to he's certainly a good subject for it, which is probably as good an indicator as any of asexy-ness) and keeps making comments about it and gave me a really terrible cheap actor diary because of the pics in it and I just don't get it at all and I can't get this across to him.

[HeidiUK]

I've never understood what "hot" is, and have always thought it to be a dumb term. Someone who's "hot" is uncomfortably warm due to temperature.

I know what you mean and I agree. Same with "fit", "fine", and "dirty".

I don't get how sexiness = dirty or even naughty for that matter. Anyone care to explain it for me?

H xx

[Cazz333]

Im demisexual and yes im blind to who is hot atleast from a visual stance unless of course i got to know that person and thought highly of them then omg are they hot.

Yes. The daring guys I like ones who have no fear of being stupid and stumblind around until they turn from something wrong to something right.

[womaninablackdress]

Interesting that you mention this.

In my mid teens to early twenties there were people who I did look at and think "wow, he's really good looking!", even though prior to that, whilst I certainly observed that everyone looked different I didn't really think of it in terms of 'attractiveness'. Due to the timings involved, I put this down to hormones!

But over the last couple of years I have completely stopped finding people attractive. There are still people who I consider to look good or handsome, but I don't consider them attractive or hot.

I guess the difference is that during my mid teens to early twenties I had an emotional response to finding someone good looking. But that lasted for a certain number of years and now it's gone again.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense.

This is exactly the same thing I have experienced. When I was younger, I seemed like a normal straight girl. Now, it's as if I'm blind. I see it as a good thing though.

[VirginalLikeSnowWhite]

Yea, I´m hotness blind. "Hot" men and women are same mass than fat and bald. Yea, if I see some old movie and woman in gorgeous Victorian dress, roses in bodice, and blooming in good Technicolor lighting, I am "Wow!" but in every day life I´m mostly "Hot?"

[Jazmin]

I can recognize conventional beauty, but my aesthetic-attraction meter ranges aloooot. :D And, of course, the personality is VERY important. There are some people who are incredibly beautiful, but they do nothing for me because they are so "blah." I think it's the same with a lot of sexuals.

That first sentence is a nice way of putting it. :) I feel the same way.

I'm pretty "good" at identifying people who most others would find good-looking, pretty, cute, hot etc etc. Some of them I personally do think are quite good-looking (though that doesn't necessarily mean I'm actually attracted to them...I can just appreciate their aesthetic qualities). Whereas others, I can identify as "what people think are hot" but I don't find them good-looking from my point of view. Just as a random example, I know Robert Pattison is perceived as hot by many girls...but personally he's not really my cup of tea. I know he's not exactly bad-looking, but I just don't find him good-looking...even though I know that he IS supposedly one of the good-looking people out there. Does that make sense? Sorry, can't really explain it any better.

And personality's very important for me. As soon as I start liking some aspect of a person's personality, they suddenly start appearing more beautiful to me, regardless of what I originally thought of their appearance. E.g. I originally thought Tom Kaulitz (from Tokio Hotel) was cuter than his twin brother Bill when I first saw them, but after a while I found out what their personalities were like and now I think Bill is so much more gorgeous :D.

(Note all of what I'm saying obviously applies to people I see in real life too, not just celebrities :D I'm just using famous people as examples coz...well you guys don't know what the people that I know in real life look like, so it would be kinda hard to use those people as examples :P)

[CaissaSoze]

yeahp.

me too on most of the above comments.

design-trained me : values aesthetics. can assess beautiful forms.

demisexual me : forget form features. remembers content, intent and gestures.

have never: neck-snap/double look, drool, melt.

have been: unaware of flirts, invites, or even dates that i was supposedly on till days later.

will always: be open for sex if stimulated.

will also: freeze and cancel out sex, if partner demonstrates typical sexual flirting.

[Guest FrozenCherry]

No,no,no,no I can see very well :lol:

Ponytails, long hairs, skinny stomachs and even I see really tiny and tight ass I can keep them real extreamely hot

like eyes and lips

I just do not want to do sex.

[sips]

I thought hotness was a taste related thing? I mean, if someone thinks someone else is hot doesn't mean another persom does, am I far out here?

[Guest FrozenCherry]

I thought hotness was a taste related thing? I mean, if someone thinks someone else is hot doesn't mean another persom does, am I far out here?

Beauty is on the eye of beholder and so is hotness :)

[Hikaru]

That's funny. Whenever my friends would talk about such things, I would always say, "I'm blind in that way" even before I knew I was asexual. :lol: Occasionally I'll see someone that I want to photograph, but this is always triggered because they are showing a certain emotion that I want to capture. Unfortunately, telling people this makes them stare at me as if I were a stalker or something. -.-' Though I could not for the life of me tell you what "hot" even means. -_-

[Aiko_spacer]

I use the word online only, but I guess I don't see it in the real context . I do know my type of men, I might even look a few seconds longer at them but thats about it.

'gah, hes handsome :)' no feelings no anything, I don't want to run behind them ask for their number and I don't want to talk to them, the only thing I feel is 'shy stress' as I don't like people to look in my eyes in general when they eventually do look back.

And yeah I'm glad I don't have to deal with the 'lewk hes hot!' stuff a la highschool anymore (or too much atm uugh) . I'd just go 'Wha , who ?' it was such a nightmare, I hung out with guys as all the girl talk and the gossip was just an epic bore fest.

[GroupX]

I am completely blind when it comes to hotness,

the other day my friend showed me two pictures of girls and asked which one was hotter,

After A while I answered, "I give up, who?"

He then told me it was more of an opinion thing, which i had never considered really.

[jonn1234]

My best friend tried pointing out the hot girls to me shortly after I told him I was nonsexual and aromantic. I then realized that I could identify attractive girls and guys, however I'd want to do nothing with them. It then got real annoying then I had to tell him to shut up.

[Hap2]

Well I find certain traits in women cute, but it feels no different than finding my pet degus cute.

Aesthetically speaking, I will admit I like the look of a woman's curves, and sometimes have to stop myself from staring or letting my eyes stray to the wrong place if I see somebody that particularly catches my eye. There's no sexual attraction there, as I don't find genitals appealing, nor do I get aroused from looking at people either, there's no desire for them, but the human form itself, I do enjoy the fascinating variety, and I find it fun to stop and people watch sometimes. It happens with men too, I'll see a man that is aesthetically interesting, and I'll accidentally stare and sometimes space out, and have to mentally pull myself back, just so I don't weird anyone out. I prefer looking at women though, their features seem more beautiful to me, and I don't regard men as being "cute". Maybe it is all the exposure to Japan over the years, I like looking at cute things and people lol.

I can tell if someone is aesthetically pleasing to my eyes, but I don't really understand sex appeal or what draws some people in. Skimpy dressed people bore me, and just because a women has curves, doesn't make them beautiful (anyone watch WWE in the early 2000's? Does Victoria ring a bell? She looked like the Wicked Witch of the West in a bikini, yikes!). There's so much fake beauty going around these days in the media, that it leaves me going "WTF? That is supposed to be hot??" whenever somebody points out someone as being 'hot'. Like supermodels and such.

I'm not blind to a physically beautiful person, but I don't necessarily get what is 'hot' either, and usually have to guess, or go along with whoever says so.

[Chickenpede]

I'm asexual, and I just don't get it at all. I've been asked so many times what my "type" is, or "Don't you think he's hot?" or whatever, and I never have an answer :lol: . I like to see nice-looking people, but the highest level of appreciation I get to is "Wow, they are a perfect model for my drawing right now". So yes, I do have hotness-blindness.

[Hi =)]

Each individual may have their own definition of what's "hot" or "sexy" to them. I know what society labels as "hot" but I usually don't agree and actually often find people touted as "hot" or "sexy" or otherwise highly attractive to actually be kind of gross, weird or just mundane. I can be very surprised when I hear who the latest heartthrob is, or when someone points out a "hottie." I don't find anyone "hot," but I do find some people pretty/handsome/beautiful/cute/otherwise-nice-to-look-at. I don't have a "type" and there is no one thing I find attractive. To me, what makes someone handsome or beautiful or cute is a case by case thing determined by the overall combination of attributes. I can't summarize it, because there are plenty of people who may look very similar to someone I think is cute, but those others are just not, and people I do think are cute may look absolutely nothing alike.

[BonesTheHeretic]

I'm asexual, and yeah, I have the same thing. I mean, I can tell if someone is conventionally ugly, but I can't tell 'average' people apart from beautiful ones. If someone asks me out of two random people, which is hotter, I usually just pick the one with the more expressive or interesting face.

[Siggy]

I started this thread almost a year ago to see if any sexuals on the board happen to have the experience of hotness blindness. I was thinking that sexual attraction doesn't necessarily require the ability to see "hot" people.

I'm kinda dismayed that this thread persists because so many asexuals do not bother to read the title. It's like this thread would be more appropriately placed in the Musings/Rants forum now.

[BonesTheHeretic]

Sorry... I figured you wanted sexuals, but thought it would be OK to share as long as I mentioned that I was asexual.

Whoops!

[Samael]

Depends how you define "hot". Is a hot person someone who you would find sexually attractive? Or perhaps romantically, or aesthetically? Or in some other way or in all possible ways?

I however, find certain people attractive in terms of their intellect and in some cases in terms of their looks. This attraction is purely aesthetic in nature regarding looks (just like enjoying a good piece of art like a painting), and if I find their mind and thoughts compelling I feel intellectual attraction. I've never experienced sexual or romantic attraction though, so a "hot" person to me is someone I might relate to intellectually for example.

[Siggy]

Oh, no it's okay for you to share. I just think it's kinda ridiculous that this thread is still lingering after a year, despite its utter failure to turn up any experiences of sexual people.

[Olivier]

Hey, I'm sexual and I realised I haven't posted here yet, so if it makes you feel better, Siggy ;) ...

I don't experience hotness blindness.

What constitutes "hot" to me is not necessarily what the lads'/ladettes' magazines define as hot, but it's not a million miles away, either, and I sure as hell know it when I see it.

[.mouse.]

I started this thread almost a year ago to see if any sexuals on the board happen to have the experience of hotness blindness. I was thinking that sexual attraction doesn't necessarily require the ability to see "hot" people.

I'm kinda dismayed that this thread persists because so many asexuals do not bother to read the title. It's like this thread would be more appropriately placed in the Musings/Rants forum now.

So one of my asexual moments went like this...

Just kidding!

Maybe it would've helped to capitalize the word "sexual," since so many people just assume you're talking about asexuals here.

[hollowsky]

Hotness blindness was the biggest tip-off for me being a little different than most sexuals. I've never personally understood the word (though I understand why other people use it), and only use it myself when joking. When I was young, I even used to think the word was disgusting. Still irks me a little.

When I found AVEN a few years back, I suddenly completely understood why 'hot' was not a part of my vocabulary.

[LouLou]

I would definitely say that I'ma bit blind to hotness lol I do find some people hot or good looking, but it takes a lot for them to stand out to me.