LGBT..... should it represent Asexuality?

[PiF]

To start I need to clarify something...I am not..nor will I ever be anti lgbt..they do a brilliant job at promoting lesbian gay bi and transexual issues

The reason for the post is that on regular occasions this topic pops up and no real feeling about it as an informed number result

For me..and only me.. I do not have a sexual need,want or expectation I am to all intense and purpose..sexless and so for a sexuall orientation group to represent my group(asexuality) I feel is wrong So I would rather AS A GROUP, asexuals not be represented by the lgbt

I also know many members face a large part of there life being labelled gay just because they have no partner and have some horror stories to tell..so for the lgbt to represent us would give the other 99% the ability to say...asexual pah..told you you're gay

Now I know we do have gay,lesbian, bi and trans members and I feel it's only right that as an individual they should be allowed to associate with any group they feel is right for them

So again I need to clarify..I have no issue with individual asexuals being in the lgbt

my only issue is that I feel for them to represent Asexuality would be a huge step backwards

So again I remind those who choose to vote this is purely wether you think the LGBT should represent ASEXUALITY as a group

By all means please add your comments but also please for the numbers..vote also..thanks

[Sally]

How come we have to vote twice on the same question?

[PiF]

Sorry Sally I always fuck up polls..edited now

[Marco - Proprietor of Doom]

Err? the poll wont let me vote.

[PiF]

I'll try again.... I can never get these things right..gimme a minute..I've asked for mods to assist

edited....try now

[Marco - Proprietor of Doom]

You fixed it :lol:

[Guest Fosco]

No.

To me it's like going to Pizza Hut and ordering Pasta! WTF! It just doesn't seem logical to me at least.

[Ocelot]

I say no. Asexuals are rarely gang raped or murdered for their orientation.

[michaeld]

I say no. Asexuals are rarely gang raped or murdered for their orientation.

But apparently being beaten up doesn't count.

(Though I find the often-heard idea that qualification for LGBT requires being victim of violent physical assault completely whacked anyhow.)

[articvibe]

The LGBT community are generaly more sexualy free than straight people i dont see how we relate to that at all i mean sure some people say that we are a minority and we should band together... wtf. With that logic the seriously depressed and OCD should be locked in with physcopathic killers. wouldnt that be interesting.

Pluss theres the fact that members of the LGBT by definition are still sexual dont know about the rest of you but last time i checked i was anything but thats why we are called asexuals isnt it?

[michaeld]

The LGBT community are generaly more sexualy free than straight people i dont see how we relate to that at all

Because freedom when it comes to sex is what we really want too isn't it? Freedom includes the freedom to have none.

Pluss theres the fact that members of the LGBT by definition are still sexual [...]

By whose definition?

[Myr]

I say no, because most members of the LGBT community do not consider themselves to be asexual. Hence I don't think that it is a high priority to most members of LGBT community to spread public awareness of asexuality.

Furthermore asexuality can apply to those who are lesbian, gay, bi, transgender, hetero, etc..., as well as to those who don't have any romantic interest in anyone or identify as any gender. As the community's most commonly-used acronym suggests, LGBT seems to focus mostly on those who are lesbian, gay, bi, and transgender.

[Ocelot]

I say no. Asexuals are rarely gang raped or murdered for their orientation.

But apparently being beaten up doesn't count.

(Though I find the often-heard idea that qualification for LGBT requires being victim of violent physical assault completely whacked anyhow.)

Do you know any cases of asexuals being physically assaulted for being asexual?

[Blerdivor]

No.

To me it's like going to Pizza Hut and ordering Pasta! WTF! It just doesn't seem logical to me at least.

I agree.

[michaeld]

I say no. Asexuals are rarely gang raped or murdered for their orientation.

But apparently being beaten up doesn't count.

(Though I find the often-heard idea that qualification for LGBT requires being victim of violent physical assault completely whacked anyhow.)

Do you know any cases of asexuals being physically assaulted for being asexual?

Yes, me. Though it was probably more a result of being thought gay than asexual (which they didn't believe existed). That doesn't nullify the point though - the fact that asexuality is frequently mistaken for homosexuality and thus asexuals can suffer from homophobic abuse just underlines the fact that we're in the same boat really.

And I don't wish to give the impression I've had it that bad. I'm quite sure many (or even most) gays and asexuals have suffered far, far worse than I have. I really only bring this up when this idea arises that we don't suffer from any of the same abuses as LGBTs.

[PiF]

I say no. Asexuals are rarely gang raped or murdered for their orientation.

But apparently being beaten up doesn't count.

(Though I find the often-heard idea that qualification for LGBT requires being victim of violent physical assault completely whacked anyhow.)

Do you know any cases of asexuals being physically assaulted for being asexual?

Yes, me. Though it was probably more a result of being thought gay than asexual (which they didn't believe existed). That doesn't nullify the point though - the fact that asexuality is frequently mistaken for homosexuality and thus asexuals can suffer from homophobic abuse just underlines the fact that we're in the same boat really.

And I don't wish to give the impression I've had it that bad. I'm quite sure many (or even most) gays and asexuals have suffered far, far worse than I have. I really only bring this up when this idea arises that we don't suffer from any of the same abuses as LGBTs.

Michael

I know you not to be a person of sillyness

Your comments however, could I ask you to read them again..in particular where you say you where beaten up

You say you were not beaten up because you were asexual..but because your attackers THOUGHT you were gay and the fact that asexuality is frequently mistaken as being gay

Okay...now if most haven't heard of asexuality but have heard of the lgbt do you think attacks on asexuals would increase or decrease once we are pushed out into the public domain as part of the lgbt?

The whole direction of my drive is that for individual asexuals who happen to be gay, lesbian,bi or trans then if they choose to the lgbt offers a valuable resource

But as a body to represent asexuals as a whole I think we could do it better ourselves as we have been doing and although slow..I think we are doing okay

[Guest Heligan]

I can see why homo-romantic asexuals might want to be members of the organisation... but the rest of us dont seem to fit as far as I can see.

I think AVEN is doing ok solo.

[PiF]

Thanks Hel

I think that is point that has not been stressed enough

since Dj and others created Aven (sorry I don't know everyones names) then over the years, asexulity has become more recognised and acknowledged

I understand why some gay, bi, trans ,lesbian, and I do not assume all gay asexuals belong to the lgbt, feel that to raise our profile it would be quicker to fall under the lgbt umbrella

But I do feel the only body that represents us as a group is..us

wether demi,hetero,gray etc etc the one thing that links us is being asexual.... so when some say..hey lets join..I will always say no..the only people who truly put Asexuals forward in thier true self is the asexual community

for me whilst it is slower than I would like...I think we are doing okay..infact more than okay

[Jewelsandcrowns]

I think AVEN is doing ok solo.

True, and that's the way it should be. 8) I love AVEN. 8) Those who want to be represented by LBGT can do so by signing up to a LBGT site.

[tourmaline20]

I just got voted Asexual Rep at my University's LGBTUA society.

A little history:

In my first year of Uni, I was still coming to terms with my orientation. I was told by a lesbian friend that my Uni had an asexual subforum on their LGBTUA website. I checked it out and the rep at the time had organized bi-weekly socials. I went along to one of these. I was a fresher, and nervous, and feeling isolated (yes, there was AVEN but hear me out). I went to this meeting and felt so happy to find others. It made a big ddifference to see them, to inteeact with them, and to have them close at hand. (It is why I go to AVEN meets in London, when I can) I am pleased to say that several of these asexuals are now my friends. The Pride society gave asexuals an infrastructure to work within. We had a sub-forum to organize meets and got mentioned in the Pride newsletter. As asexuality is still (imo) a sexual orientation (the word 'sexual' being in there) and a minority orientation at that, I see no reason why it shouldn't be represented under a supportive umbrella organization that recognizes that we may not all want to be having heterosexual sex.

I am immensely proud of my LGBTUA society. They have been welcoming, understanding and informative. They have given a tiny minority a local platform from which to speak. If it was JUST asexuals trying to run a society for asexuals, I don't think anyone would find each other. Many people GO to the LGBTUA society because they are not sure where they fit, or they know they are a minority orientation of some kind, and I know people at my Uni who identifyy as asexual who have never heard of AVEN, and who found peace and frienship through the Uni's LGBTUA. I personally feel we're stronger this way and get more recognition (at least for now, while we as a minority are still getting the word out there that we even exist).

That's my two cents.

[Guest member25959]

Yes, Asexuality should be in the LGBT.

Anyhthing that isn't Hetero is usually considered part of the LGBT.

[PiF]

Anyhthing that isn't Hetero is usually considered part of the LGBT.

and thats the point many who are asexual and in the lgbt keep missing

most asexuals ARE hetro

[michaeld]

I can see why homo-romantic asexuals might want to be members of the organisation... but the rest of us dont seem to fit as far as I can see.

If you don't think you fit in LGBT then no-one is asking you to be part of it. But please, do not try to speak for all non-homoromantic asexuals. As a heteromantic asexual I do feel I fit in the LGBT movement. I know aromantics, biromantics, panromantics as well as homoromantics who feel likewise.

[shaedofblue]

most asexuals ARE hetro

If you believe that the polls in this forum have merit, which you must since you have posted this one, then this statement is incorrect as 36.33% of asexuals are hetero-romantic according to this. This is slightly less than those with same-sex attraction (homo, bi, pan), which consists of 37.27%.

[michaeld]

Michael

I know you not to be a person of sillyness

Your comments however, could I ask you to read them again..in particular where you say you where beaten up

You say you were not beaten up because you were asexual..but because your attackers THOUGHT you were gay and the fact that asexuality is frequently mistaken as being gay

So yeah, a lot of us have suffered because of the misconception that asexuals are gay.

As far as I see it there are two obvious options. One would be to distance ourselves from homosexuality in the hope that the homophobic bigots will leave us alone if they are persuaded that asexuality is a different thing to homosexuality. (Good luck with that!)

Alternatively we could recognise that LGBT issues are also our issues (precisely because we suffer from the same abuse), that LGBTs are our natural allies and that our best bet is to join them and help them fight all forms of prejudice. At the same time we can also explain the difference between asexuality and homosexuality using the LGBT platform.

If you prefer the first option then go for it, but some of us like the second approach better.

Okay...now if most haven't heard of asexuality but have heard of the lgbt do you think attacks on asexuals would increase or decrease once we are pushed out into the public domain as part of the lgbt?

Who knows?

The whole direction of my drive is that for individual asexuals who happen to be gay, lesbian,bi or trans then if they choose to the lgbt offers a valuable resource

But as a body to represent asexuals as a whole I think we could do it better ourselves as we have been doing and although slow..I think we are doing okay

It's not either-or. No-one has ever suggested asexuals should abandon AVEN, their movement or their own visibility efforts. I thought this was obvious.

[AVENCakes]

I don't see why any group who will accurately represent asexuality shouldnt' be allowed to spread awareness for it. There's strength in numbers and all that. The biggest thing is that htey'll be accurate about it. Also- there's a difference between allying with someone and having htem represent us. No one has suggested that we give all control to someone else- they've just said that they can see the benefits of allying with the LGB.

[PiF]

I don't see why any group who will accurately represent asexuality shouldnt' be allowed to spread awareness for it.

I only have two concerns but they feel important to me

firstly I understand that asexuals that are within the remit of the lgbt do inform the lgbt of the correct promotion of asexuality however there is not a welcome for asexuality in every local lgbt as mentioned..which leads onto....

Secondly the biggest worry for me is perception..for the majority of people they have never heard of Asexuality and if the only time they hear of Asexaulity is being represented through a percieved (and please lets be honest most sexuals do think of the lgbt as a gay sexual orientation body) group that is largely gay and sexually active then the common missconception will be that if your asexual your gay

It does seem we argue amongst ourselves but we know the difference..in the real everyday world most people do not know the difference and we are poor at pointing it out it is an association I feel could be better directed and long term sustainably correct

as to some who have said..."then we need to stand up and correct them" which is an admirable statement..unfortuneatly I have said it before..most asexuals are very secretive about thier asexuality and so standing up to correct the ignorant..is unlikely

If we use the lgbt to promote ourselves we will have trouble later on should we wish to branch out hopefully ...and push asexuality as a non sexual group

I forsee the link with a commonly percieved gay sexually active group unable to be shrugged off

so what is the answer?

if we do not stand up for ourselves..be honest with those around you..promote asexuality for it's own merits...but instead allow just one group instead of ourselves to promote us then we will be eternally known as the gay group...which I feel could be avoided

this is not anti lgbt..this is looking long term for additional ways to promote asexuality for all of it's members and not just a section of it

[kt8]

I say yes because asexuality is out of the hetero "norm". We're working for acceptance, like the LGBT people are, and, besides, it's not widely known yet, and I think being represented in LGBT would help with that. Just think about the asexuals there might be that don't know that asexuality exists and are confused...

As long as we're represented accurately, I don't see why not. I don't see how it would be a step backward for LGBT - they represent minorities of sexualities, and this includes those of us who are asexual.

[Unibabe]

i joined the same society as tourmaline at uni but i joined coz im bi. before i knew there as a term for asexuals etc i thought i was weird so it was a god send for me (who hadn't found AVEN at that time) and i realised i was normal and it was cool. admittedly there weren't many of us but they welcomed me when i came out as asexual as well as bi and told me about aven etc.

i agree it is a shame that we get lumped with lgbt BUT it provided me with an awareness i didn't have in the first place and these people are people who know who feels to come out as something other than a hetero sexually active person. they know how it feels when friends are surprised or confused by certain aspects of their identity and so, in the same way that im not sure trans is the same as being homo(a/bi)sexual, we are still a minority sexual identity and so i think there are worse people we could be grouped with.

i get your initial point tho! and i understand when people think asexual is a metaphor for stayin in the closet. it isn't, as we all know, but there is a mentality whereby sexual orientation is binary and you're either straight and hence 'normal' or your not and the other option is usually gay. especially as millions haven't heard the word asexual or know what it means.

[WasabeFan]

I am a lesbian because I relate emotionally and intimately to women. But I am also asexual and not attracted sexually to anyone. I am partnered with a woman who is also asexual. We are in every sense life partners - we just do not have sex. Our attaraction is emotional, and we do cuddle like anyone else.

The term homosexual IS a sexual term...because it is defined as a person who wants sex with the same sex.

Bi-sexual is by definition someone who wants sex with both.

But the term Gay, Lesbian, Transgender do NOT always mean sex is involved. They are LIFESTYLES.