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What are you thinking? (gender forum)


Guest Edward's Gory Daughter

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Psychologists that don't take you serious are a pain in the ****. Yes, psych's are supposed to know stuff, but they can be as bigotted and closed-minded as the rest of us.

I would defenitely see a second psych or even a third, if you feel she's not being fair.

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Psychologists that don't take you serious are a pain in the ****. Yes, psych's are supposed to know stuff, but they can be as bigotted and closed-minded as the rest of us.

I would defenitely see a second psych or even a third, if you feel she's not being fair.

I've not seen her yet and am getting this on hearsay (but where else do trans people learn about the attitudes of potential therapists than from other trans people?). I'm going to give her the benefit of doubt but I'm really scared cos I'm quite a femme boy. And i can barely explain why it's so important to me that i live as a man, other than knowing that I'd kill myself if I had to spend one more day as a woman.

It also doesn't help that I can often talk myself out of it, make myself believe that i can live my whole life without hormones or surgeries. I make myself believe that my dysphoria isn't all that bad. When, actually, normal people don't start harming themselves if someone calls them "she", normal people aren't completely disgusted with their body, normal people don't contemplate acts of extreme violence against their own bodies or want to kill themselves because they hate their own existence. Normal people don't need hormones or surgery - i do.

I nearly didn't go to my Uni's disability services because i didn't think there was "enough" wrong with me - i got assessed as having a moderate to severe complex specific learning disabilty comprised of at least four interlinked developmental disorders. I almost didn't go to counselling here either - i got diagnosed with severe anxiety, verging on a panic disorder. I never believe I need help until someone else tells me i do. For this, I believe I need help - but what if she talks me out of it??

I'm scared. :(

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Aww, poor Elliott. Hug?

I think that while you have a lot of reasons in your head why someone would label you ar not trans, you know by intuition what you are and what you need. A psych can name thins that could be wrong, give you label and try to 'talk you out of' identifying as trans, but it's all just words. She can't talk you out of feeling stuff.

Trust that feeling, and if she says your feelings are wrong, well get a second opinion.

People get secong opinions from doctor's for trivial things like when the doctor tells them they don't need medication for the flu. Don't trust one person's word on something this important. (or two, for that matter)

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Guest Edward's Gory Daughter

*hugs Elliott*

_______

I think my trying to not rock the boat in my gendered communication with some people is starting to make me feel like a liar. :(

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Is it strange that I'm pretty sure that if I'd been born male-bodied I'd be a cross-dresser?

I don't like conforming to gender norms. Ever. Right now I have to stay broadly within the norms of "boy" in order to pass but I never gave up jewelry completely (I am wearing a pentagram pendant that has rainbow colours around it. I'm a queer witch and I'm not ashamed to show it). I think, actually, post-T I'll be a crossdresser. Is that weird?

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I'm thinking Mondays going to be harsh when I explain to my new employer I'm trans when he's been under the illussion I'm female >< I'm actually terrified.

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I just want it all removed. Screw it. It will never happen anyway. Just take all of it off for me and give what I should have been born with.

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Guest member25959

I would be happy to cross dress, but only if I can grow my hair longer and dye it blond/black.

The only trouble with cross-dressing would be going into college xD One day dressed as your bio-sex, next day dressed as the opposite sex, and infront of hundreds of immature, giggling teenagers.

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Richard is a cool name..but I know everyone knows me as Vega. And I like the name Robert. Weak

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I'm wonderin' how the hell am I gonna pay for top surgery when I can't even find a job now. Oh, wait, a dollar store is opening down the street! Wish me luck!

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Guest Edward's Gory Daughter

I am thinking why can't my boobs and I get along?

I try so hard to accept them. I want to make things work out.

Have I rejected them for too long? Do they just want to call it all off? :unsure:

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I am thinking why can't my boobs and I get along?

I try so hard to accept them. I want to make things work out.

Have I rejected them for too long? Do they just want to call it all off? :unsure:

*thinking :(*

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I'm wonderin' how the hell am I gonna pay for top surgery when I can't even find a job now. Oh, wait, a dollar store is opening down the street! Wish me luck!

*wishes you luck with the job*

It can be sucky to be young and ponder surgery that costs so much when one has so little cash. :mad:

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Today I didn't feel a thing about gender at all. I didn't feel like a boy or a girl, or andro, or agendered. I'm not sure about my gender at all today. And then I wonder: Do I have the right to tell my family I'm trans and put them through doubts and worries, when there are days when I have no idea what I am?

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Today I didn't feel a thing about gender at all. I didn't feel like a boy or a girl, or andro, or agendered. I'm not sure about my gender at all today. And then I wonder: Do I have the right to tell my family I'm trans and put them through doubts and worries, when there are days when I have no idea what I am?

You're not the only one.

The idea that to "be trans" you have to be constantly aware of the fact that you're trapped in the wrong body and upset every single time someone misgenders you is false. Some of us feel like that, but most of us don't. I have days when I "forget" that I'm a boy or "forget" that I'm female-bodied, usually cos I've got something else to think about - like my uni work! And I have days when the incongruence between me and my body seems insurmountable and I can't think about anything else.

What makes someone trans isn't a constant obsession about their gender, what makes someone trans is that they need to express their gender to someone, even if it's only one person and have it understood that they are not what they were told to be.

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Being understood or at least talking to one person really is quite important. I came out to only one person now (my mom) but that bit of comming out has made all my gender troubles feel a lot less heavy. The week after telling her has been the easiest week in a long time. And a week during which I felt surprisingly un-trans.

something completely unrelated I'm thinking currently: I went out in public with my binder yesterday and managed to pass really well except for one problem: my voice. Why do I have to have such a damn high voice? I just can't talk in a low voice in a normal conversation. Argh. Irritating.

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Is it strange that I'm pretty sure that if I'd been born male-bodied I'd be a cross-dresser?

I'd be similar...Though in reverse.

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Guest member25959
Is it strange that I'm pretty sure that if I'd been born male-bodied I'd be a cross-dresser?

I'd be similar...Though in reverse.

Not sure If I would have been ~:unsure:

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Is it strange that I'm pretty sure that if I'd been born male-bodied I'd be a cross-dresser?

Me too.

Or well, a fashion rebel. I wouldn't 'cross-dress' in the sense of trying to pass as female. But I'd definitely get a skirt on every now and then. Why not? More blokes should wear skirts.

that's not really crossdressing though. Still.

If I'd been born male-bodied, I'd still be genderqueer.

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Today on genderfork someone wrote:

Sometimes, I feel the most “masculine” in tight jeans and heels, and the most “feminine” when I bind.

I feel like that a lot.

I feel totally male in a skirt, because of the confidence and the contrast, and soooooo female when I'm trying to 'pass' because it makes me feel insecure and vulnerable. Plus, binding makes you feel very aware of the fact that you have breasts.

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Why do civil partnerships have to be different from marriages? I want the same thing, no matter whether he's got the piece of paper that says he's officially male.

...oh, he's still logged in. Ooops.

IE this is Beardless, not Elliott Ford who is now hir fiance

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Oooooo, congratulations!!!! :cake:

I have no idea why the UK has those 'civil partnerships'. It makes no sense at all.

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Oooooo, congratulations!!!! :cake:

I have no idea why the UK has those 'civil partnerships'. It makes no sense at all.

This time it actually is me. It has something to do with appeasing the church...

Anyway,

I am a happy boy because my partner could still love me no matter what I identified as. I hope that this isn't rare.

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How do you cope when your family kinda thinks you're a lesbian and your partner's family aren't allowed to discover that you're female-bodied?

(BTW, this is only extended family I'm talking about. My parents and hirs both know I'm trans)

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. . .but there are sounds

I have just spent the last several hours reading Journal Articles to prepare a research proposal. Many of them involved issues of gender at some level or another.

I wish I understood this gender stuff. I wish it didn't upset me so much. I wish that it wasn't so important to so many people. I wish it could remain strictly academic. I wish I knew why it matters to me.

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I would like to feel something about gender about now. Not having an oppinion on it now while knowing that in a week or so, it will hurt like hell again, drives me crazy. Sometimes gender literally makes me feel crazy.

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Lately I've somehow lost my shyness about my body. If someone would accidently walk into my room and see me topless, I would hardly care. I'm feeling very detached about my breasts. I don't hate them, I just don't consider them to be mine.

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Is it strange that I'm pretty sure that if I'd been born male-bodied I'd be a cross-dresser?

I'd be similar...Though in reverse.

I'm pretty certain that if I was born in a female body, I would wear suits all the time. Heck, I used to wear suits all the time anyway. I don't wear them as often now because they do prevent me from looking as androgynous as I want, but I still really like them. Suits are awesome.

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