What are you thinking? (gender forum)

[Sammie]

True.

But don't judge too harshly. Friends like that mean well.

A lot of cisgendered people may never understand being trans or genderqueer, if they are accepting and have the intention to make you feel accepted and loves, that's really all we can ask for. Dealing with their ignorance still gets annoying, but they should be treated with the patience and understanding that they themselves needed when they went to great lengths to understand us.

that's what I'm thinking today:

One of the most important parts of being trans and coming out is trying to find the acceptance and understanding to accept that some people need time before they can try to understand and accept you.

[Elliott Ford]

True.

But don't judge too harshly. Friends like that mean well.

A lot of cisgendered people may never understand being trans or genderqueer, if they are accepting and have the intention to make you feel accepted and loves, that's really all we can ask for. Dealing with their ignorance still gets annoying, but they should be treated with the patience and understanding that they themselves needed when they went to great lengths to understand us.

that's what I'm thinking today:

One of the most important parts of being trans and coming out is trying to find the acceptance and understanding to accept that some people need time before they can try to understand and accept you.

Agrees with Sammie.

It's easier to complain when we feel we are being treated unfairly than it is to wonder whether doing that is itself fair to other people.

[Guest Edward's Gory Daughter]

Oh holy shit. Oh holy shit. OH... HOLY... SHIT. *cringey poo face*

*HUGS* and for EGD. You know you can always PM me if you want to, right?

Oh holy shit. Oh holy shit. OH... HOLY... SHIT.

Wanna talk about it?

Hugs from me too. if you want some. Otherwise just .

I hope things are okay, Edward's Gory Daughter. :(

Thanks everyone. :redface:

I don't really know how to talk about it. I've tried running it by a few other asexy people--and no one really knows quite what to do.

[edits out what occurrred, is sure most people read it by now]

*feels all socially clueless/aspie*

[Z3N]

My mom asked if I was a lesbian and I wanted to bite out "No, I'd go out with anyone if I didn't have to have sex with them. BTW, I hate being trapped in one gender and am thinking of swapping completely. I know you said you'd never speak to me again if I got a tattoo, but would you hate me more or less if I was a boy who wore girl clothes sometimes?" Instead I said of course not, I promise, blah blah blah. All technically true.

The world stinks.

..<_< Damn I was trying to stay positive today.

[Sammie]

EGD, A coworker that you never flirted with? Writing to you about how sexy your body is?

Tell/write him not to send you sexual messages.

That is in no way acceptable workfloor behaviour.

[Z3N]

Sorry to hear that, Edward's Gory Daughter. I've always disliked love letters, but anything of a sexual nature freaked me out completely. I don't know what to tell you. When one of someone began to hit on me like that I completely avoided the issue. I probably should have told him it made me uncomfortable or that I wasn't interested, but instead I avoided him until he quit seeking me out. *shrug* I am not good in those type of situations. I have a fight-or-flight panic that oddly enough only kicks in during these types of things. In a real crisis, I'm great. In a sexual tension or one-sided interest crisis, I got squash. So probably not the best to offer advice, but saying you're not interested could be a start. If it goes further, take it to the boss.

[Sammie]

When you're dealing with being trans, it's hard not to let small things hurt you. Like someone calling you a 'charming lady', or teling you they don't like your new short haircut, or the way your own voice sounds too high when you laugh.

The trick to dealing with it is not letting those small things get to you. Understanding that they're really not as big as they sound to you. That you care much more about how you look than anyone around you. That most people really don't care about those little things.

And not being afraid to show your frustration when the little things get to you too much. Even if you're not 'out'. Even if you just want to not talk and just ask for a hug from a friend when it hurts the most.

[sassyeggs]

I wish I had some kind of boob hoover. Stick it in my burst, turn the power on and suck out the boobage.

[Sammie]

hehehe.

I wish I had a stick-on light mustage and that shadow of an imperfect shave on my cheeks.

[Zerick]

*hugs EGD*

[Guest member25959]

I should see a psychiatrist ASAP. But I think that if I start therapy, whilst catching up on so muc college work, it may become too much. I really want to start therapy, behind my Parents' back or not, and if that mean quitting College and restarting again next year, I will do so.

[Sammie]

That kinda sucks. Do what you got to do. Running late on college isn't the end of the world.

Goodluck.

and a hug, if you want one, otherwise just

[Guest member25959]

That kinda sucks. Do what you got to do. Running late on college isn't the end of the world.

Goodluck.

and a hug, if you want one, otherwise just

Thanks :D

I could start again next time.

I think the hardest part will be convincing my parents that I should quit

[Princely One]

I had that issue a couple years ago. I was freaking out about what my parents would say about me having to quit school b/c I couldn't handle it anymore with everything that was going on. In the end, I made the decision and ignored them when they complained. It was hard, but they eventually understood I made a choice and making a choice in and of itself is more empowering than anything you can do- especially at first.

[Guest Edward's Gory Daughter]

*hugs Sammie and Kaye-Jaye*

*steamrolls Zerick*

[Elliott Ford]

I'm thinking how great it is that just by being out and open and willing to talk about my experiences as a trans man I've helped so many people. From cis girls and female-bodied genderqueers who wanted to know how to appear to have smaller breasts to people who've come out as trans only to me and no one else to people who are just so relieved to finally meet someone like themselves. I've made an impact on people's lifes just by being able to say "I am a transsexual man".

I'm directly helping those people who come to talk to me about gender and/or presentation. And I'm indirectly helping everyone who meets me by making them aware that the world isn't quite as simple as they thought and inspiring them to question their assumptions.

This is why I still want to be "out" when I am indistinguishable from a cis male, when I no longer "look trans".

[Sammie]

That's awesome Elliott!

my thought of the day:

I'm a Trekkie, I'm a Trichy, I'm a Tranny,

T.T.T. Sounds like I should have superpowers or something.

[Elliott Ford]

That's awesome Elliott!

my thought of the day:

I'm a Trekkie, I'm a Trichy, I'm a Tranny,

T.T.T. Sounds like I should have superpowers or something.

Trichy?

[Sammie]

Trichy?

O, a medical thing. I really don't feely like explaining right now. Google Trich if you must know.

[Grace]

I wonder how much getting those damn things removed would cost.

[Shinnok]

It's too bad that being trans hinders relationships for me. *sighs*

[Guest Edward's Gory Daughter]

I still think if I were a boy life would have been easier for me.

However, I probably would have gotten beat up a few times while at school then. *le sigh* <_<

[AVENCakes]

Trichy?

O, a medical thing. I really don't feely like explaining right now. Google Trich if you must know.

There's two "trich"s that come up on google... I'm not sure if you want to talk about it on here, but the first one might be a bit more awkward if you have the second one.

[Sammie]

Trichy?

O, a medical thing. I really don't feely like explaining right now. Google Trich if you must know.

There's two "trich"s that come up on google... I'm not sure if you want to talk about it on here, but the first one might be a bit more awkward if you have the second one.

I just saw the second option on google, hahahaha. Akward.

Well, I might as well explain myself. Trichotillomania is an impulse control disorder that creates an addictive urge to damage your body by pulling out hair or scratching of skin. Unlike people who cut themselves, Trichies have no intention of really damaging themselves, but may do so because the small actions of pulling hair or scratching become something of a obsessive-compulsive need.

It's quite common in general, and very common among transsexuals, mostly because it's triggered by depression, extreme stress and bodydisphoria.

I've had it all my life.

[henshin]

I'm trying to think of ways to make feminist activism really work.

[Sammie]

I'm trying to think of ways to make feminist activism really work.

My idea:

What holds back feminism is that it's opponents paint it as a pro-women movement, rather than a movement that wants equality for both genders. The femin- makes this line of argument very easy to sell. Feministis would do right to call themselves equalists, or something more catchy. They would also have to stand up very publicly for the rights of men, for example the rights of the father at divorce, and the right of men to wear skirts. If people see men and women who call themselves 'feminists' or 'equalists' speak out in such cases, there's a chance that they'll get those silly ideas about 'femi-nazi's' out of their heads.

[Guest member25959]

I really need to see my GP, I am re-entering the 'axe phase' (don't ask) I have no control over my emotions, I almost cried on the bus, it came out of nowhere, I jus suddenly felt disgusted about my body.

[Grapefruit]

I just saw the second option on google, hahahaha. Akward.

Well, I might as well explain myself. Trichotillomania is an impulse control disorder that creates an addictive urge to damage your body by pulling out hair or scratching of skin. Unlike people who cut themselves, Trichies have no intention of really damaging themselves, but may do so because the small actions of pulling hair or scratching become something of a obsessive-compulsive need.

It's quite common in general, and very common among transsexuals, mostly because it's triggered by depression, extreme stress and bodydisphoria.

I've had it all my life.

Are there actually any stats on the prevalence of trich among transgendered people?

Just curious because I'm trans and have trich as well.

[Elliott Ford]

Trichy?

O, a medical thing. I really don't feely like explaining right now. Google Trich if you must know.

There's two "trich"s that come up on google... I'm not sure if you want to talk about it on here, but the first one might be a bit more awkward if you have the second one.

I just saw the second option on google, hahahaha. Akward.

Well, I might as well explain myself. Trichotillomania is an impulse control disorder that creates an addictive urge to damage your body by pulling out hair or scratching of skin. Unlike people who cut themselves, Trichies have no intention of really damaging themselves, but may do so because the small actions of pulling hair or scratching become something of a obsessive-compulsive need.

It's quite common in general, and very common among transsexuals, mostly because it's triggered by depression, extreme stress and bodydisphoria.

I've had it all my life.

Thanks. Sorry for asking. I scratch myself and stuff a heck of a lot but I don't tyhink it's that, just "normal" self-harm behaviour. Since you admitted to that, I'll tell you that I'm a kleptomaniac. In case people don't know, that means I have a obsessive / complusive relationship with stealing. Yes, I'm addicted to stealing things.

I've heard that the psych I've been referred to is more than a bit sceptical about transsexuality and told a trans girl i know that she was "just a confused little boy". If I can't convince her that I'm trans, I'll have to get a private therapist to say I'm trans so that I can get referred to a Gender Identity Clinic... What if she tells me that I'm just a butch lesbian?

[Elliott Ford]

I really need to see my GP, I am re-entering the 'axe phase' (don't ask) I have no control over my emotions, I almost cried on the bus, it came out of nowhere, I jus suddenly felt disgusted about my body.

I know the feeling all too well, my friend. I get what I call attacks of gender dysphoria and want to die just to get out of this body. I survive mainly my remembering that it'll pass and that my partner and my friends love me and want me to be alive.

Go to your GP. At least then you'll feel like you've done something about it. Be strong.

You can always message me, either PM or text, okay?

Thoughts=

My Philosophy group came naturally, easily and unanimously to the decision that the government should pay for gender realignment operations yesterday.