Guest Edward's Gory Daughter Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Last week some kids hugged me and then went "ewww." (Apparently I wasn't femininely/squeezably soft). Link to post Share on other sites
inter\m/ent Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 I've been told I hug like a little girl because I don't hug below the shoulder/arm area, unless they're much taller. If I were a lil girl I'd be hugging their leg! Link to post Share on other sites
Grace Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 I wish people tonight could have used my chosen name and the proper pronouns, but what can you expect from a church group? Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Aww. Virtual feel better for Grace. Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 I used to be a girl and I liked it, I even owned some lipstick. I used to be a girl and I liked it, hope my friends don't mind it. It felt so wrong, it felt so right. But I made my mind up alright. I used to be a girl and I liked it. But not anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest member25959 Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 I had a very awkward discussion about my Transsexuality with my Mom and 2 sisters, whislt sat in a restraunt in Rhodes, I feel that I didnt tell them fully how I fely, I never mentioned how it was making me ill thinking about it 24/7, or how my life is a misery like this, or that I almost got an axe and went for it once. Then they say that I don't know what I am talking about, they think I have Asergers (because a psych mentioned it once, when I was 5) I feel suicidal once again, i feel like theres no way out for me, no one will help me, everyone disagrees with me. And ven if I could go on therapy, who would pay, I can't? Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Wow, that's bad. :( Doesn't health insurance cover therapy? Don't keep it quiet if you feel that bad. Look for options. There have to be help organisations or supportgroups or something like that for people in your position. Quite a few companies and universities also have funds for when their employees/students feel they truly need therapy but can not pay fot it. Feel free to post or pm if you feel like talking or venting to someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Maybe I'm not transsexual. Maybe I'm just a person who naturally feels misterable and trapped in the wrong body. Is there a community for that? ps: that's sarcasm. or ironic humour. or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Typical Power Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 What am I thinking about? Actually i'm not thinking about anything gender related, what am I doing here. Actually I'm thinking about this Skinny Puppy song. Lets see.. gender. gender.... Right now, I think all gender is bollocks. Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Today I stole some of my sisters make up to paint a mustage on my face. I looked in the mirror for ages, thinking it looked so right. Then when I finally had to wash it off, I felt miserable. I now realise that seeing myself like that made me like my real hairless face less. Maybe I shouldn't have tried it in the first place? Then again, I can't wait to try it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Elliott Ford Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Today I stole some of my sisters make up to paint a mustage on my face. I looked in the mirror for ages, thinking it looked so right. Then when I finally had to wash it off, I felt miserable. I now realise that seeing myself like that made me like my real hairless face less. Maybe I shouldn't have tried it in the first place? Then again, I can't wait to try it again. This is how I've felt every time I've found a new way of making myself look more male. Each time I've looked at myself and thought "How did I cope yesterday with only a sports bra when I have a binder today?" "How did I cope with my hair like that?" "How did I wear those glasses for so long?" etc Every step I take forward leaves me wondering why I didn't do this earlier. What I'm thinking: I WANT the magic TurnIntoABoyInstantlyAndPainlessly Button and I want it NOW. Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 What I'm thinking:I WANT the magic TurnIntoABoyInstantlyAndPainlessly Button and I want it NOW. O yes, please! me too! Link to post Share on other sites
KayleeSaeihr Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Today I stole some of my sisters make up to paint a mustage on my face. I looked in the mirror for ages, thinking it looked so right. Then when I finally had to wash it off, I felt miserable. I now realise that seeing myself like that made me like my real hairless face less. Maybe I shouldn't have tried it in the first place? Then again, I can't wait to try it again. I'll gladly swap with you... :P What I'm thinking:I WANT the magic TurnIntoABoyInstantlyAndPainlessly Button and I want it NOW. O yes, please! me too! Can I have one of the opposite sort? Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 My thoughts right now; I am soooo close to coming out to someone. I just need to say it. And I'm so terribly worried I won't be able to explain myself properly. Arrggg. Link to post Share on other sites
Shinnok Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 The. Neverending. NAME CHOOSING Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Edward's Gory Daughter Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Today I stole some of my sisters make up to paint a mustage on my face. I looked in the mirror for ages, thinking it looked so right. Then when I finally had to wash it off, I felt miserable. I now realise that seeing myself like that made me like my real hairless face less. Maybe I shouldn't have tried it in the first place? Then again, I can't wait to try it again. I have little things like that too. (*agrees with Elliott as well*) Sometimes its clothes too or whatever. : ) *hugs* What I'm thinking:I WANT the magic TurnIntoABoyInstantlyAndPainlessly Button and I want it NOW. O yes, please! me too! Ahaha. I kind of want one sometimes (however so I can like be all over the gender spectrum on different days). *hugs on Saeihr cause I am bad at using the quotings today* Link to post Share on other sites
Næt. Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Wow, that's bad. :( Doesn't health insurance cover therapy? Don't keep it quiet if you feel that bad. Look for options. There have to be help organisations or support groups or something like that for people in your position. Quite a few companies and universities also have funds for when their employees/students feel they truly need therapy but can not pay for it. Feel free to post or pm if you feel like talking or venting to someone. Psychological therapy is free at point of entry on the NHS, at least it was when I enquired, a year or two ago. I'm told it's actually rather good. Or there's always MIND, the mental health charity; 0845 766 0163 Mon-Fri 9-5 (I think it's free-'phone). It's sort of like ChildLine, but for mental health worries and the like. I have no gender-related thoughts, I just confused this thread with the JFF one, and thought I may as well contribute. Link to post Share on other sites
. . .but there are sounds Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Gender. . . I wonder if I have one, I suppose I must. I wonder what it is. Sometimes though I just wonder what gender is. I think I need to get that one first. Oh well, in the mean time, one needn't understand the sublime to enjoy it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Nothing makes me feel better then talking to someone about transexuality and them saying that it's not a big deal, that I'll still be the same person afterwards. That I was always this person and girl or boy isn't that important. And that's true. It doesn't mean being trans is something I can ignore. It doesn't mean I want to transition any less. It's just true that this is not about changing ME, just what I look like and what people call me. Boy, girl, I've always been me. :) ((So... as you can guess, I came out to someone today.)) Link to post Share on other sites
Elliott Ford Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 It's only just a year since I first heard the term "transsexual" and understood it. And eleven months since I came out as trans. Well, I never did do things by halves. I am lucky, so many little chance encounters, so many seemingly insignificant events that very nearly didn't happen, so many choices I came close to making or not making and I wouldn't be here. There is really so little that has made me the happy confident out and proud trans boy that I am rather than the suicidal lesbian I was becoming. I'm so thankful to everything and everyone that allowed me to have everything I never knew I always wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
AVENCakes Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Do intersexed people really think it'd be terribly damaging to be raised as neutrally gender-wise? http://www.isna.org/faq/gender_assignment Wow, that's bad. :( Doesn't health insurance cover therapy? It depends on the insurance. Most insurance covers therapy for certaint hngs, but if if they deem it "unnecessary" then they won't. Most therapists are willing to work with you so that it's covered by insurance, it helps that most transpeople have depression and anxiety from it. And then if it requires a copay then that can be too much for people. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Do intersexed people really think it'd be terribly damaging to be raised as neutrally gender-wise? http://www.isna.org/faq/gender_assignment I don't think it would be damaging for anyone to be raised gender-neurtal. As long as you don't tell the child 'you're different from everyone else' or force the child to take on genderneutral clothes and activities rather than just let hir choose whatever sie prefers. The whole 'children need structure, it's confusing' argument gets used too many times for raising children in a cisgendered fashion rather than letting them explore their own gender. Children don't need that kind of structure. They need space to be themselves. But then.. I'm not intersex and never raised children, so what do I know? Link to post Share on other sites
AVENCakes Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I don't think it would be damaging for anyone to be raised gender-neurtal. As long as you don't tell the child 'you're different from everyone else' or force the child to take on genderneutral clothes and activities rather than just let hir choose whatever sie prefers. The whole 'children need structure, it's confusing' argument gets used too many times for raising children in a cisgendered fashion rather than letting them explore their own gender. Children don't need that kind of structure. They need space to be themselves. But then.. I'm not intersex and never raised children, so what do I know? Yeah... If they think raising them as neutral= introduce them as "This is Andy, it's a freak who has genitalia that don't fit into "male" or "female" so we like to have people treat them like they're different.", that would be damaging as all heck and would be bad. But I don't see how letting a kid choose their own presentation/clothes/etc is so bad, especially when compared to you and some doctor who probably doesn't know a thing about transgender issues or how damaging it is to be raised as the wrong gender deciding what the kid is "most likely to grow up as". :/ Kids do need some structure- but they also need room to be themselves and play and just be kids. Too much structure has gotta be just as damaging as too little. My partner and I plan to have kid(s) and raise them neutral, it'll be interesting to see how that goes.... Link to post Share on other sites
CreakyKeegan Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I thought a lot lately. Quite a lot, actually. Almost too much. Well, probably too much. I've come to a conclusion. I'm perfectly happy with my body the way it is. I'd feel about the same with a female one. Maybe a bit more happy with it, but not drastically so. I don't need hormones or surgery. I'm just me. What I've discovered is I just want society to treat me for female-ish. Not that I actually want to be female. I just want to be who I am, without being called a "Faggot" for being feminine. Or being ridiculed for dressing strangely from time to time. - But this won't stop. So I've got a brand new attitude. I call it the "I don't care what you think about me. I don't care what you say to me, either. Saying such things just shows your insecurities anyways." I'm in a speeding car - zipping down the street to complete and utter happiness. Why? Because I can. And because I'm letting go. If I were a woman, I'd be judged just as much. So quite frankly, I don't need all the expenses that'd lead me through, if I am perfectly fine with the body I've got. So I am me. A guy. A male. Not a man, that's just too icky for me. :) I'm who I am. Got a problem with it? Too bad. I'll hear everyone's two cents, being called a faggot or whatever. And guess what? I'll end up rich. All those two cents will keep adding up, and one day, I'll be a multi-millionaire. An then what? Then you'll really care. You'll care to befriend me for my money. And I'll say "Nuh-uh." "This is all the money you gave to me freely. I don't have to give it back to you. You'd just give it to someone else, anyways." Hah! Haha~ I am finallly freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ Yippee! I'm happy. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Seems like a good attitude. :) I'm happy you're happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Elliott Ford Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 This is almost a "Want to say but can't" but I think I'll end up saying it to someone sooner or later... When you explain to someone that they've misheard my name or accidentally mispronouned me, you do NOT need to detail my gender history. The fact that I'm trans is irrelevant - all you need to say is "He's a boy". That's all. Not "Please use male pronouns for Liam because he is transsexual" just "Liam is a boy". I don't intend to "hide" my past or deny that I'm female-bodied but can you allow ME to choose who owns that information, let ME decide whether or not it's relevant. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Edward's Gory Daughter Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Oh holy shit. Oh holy shit. OH... HOLY... SHIT. *cringey poo face* Link to post Share on other sites
Elliott Ford Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Oh holy shit. Oh holy shit. OH... HOLY... SHIT. *cringey poo face* *HUGS* and for EGD. You know you can always PM me if you want to, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Sammie Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Oh holy shit. Oh holy shit. OH... HOLY... SHIT. Wanna talk about it? Hugs from me too. if you want some. Otherwise just . Link to post Share on other sites
AVENCakes Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I hope things are okay, Edward's Gory Daughter. :( This is almost a "Want to say but can't" but I think I'll end up saying it to someone sooner or later...When you explain to someone that they've misheard my name or accidentally mispronouned me, you do NOT need to detail my gender history. The fact that I'm trans is irrelevant - all you need to say is "He's a boy". That's all. Not "Please use male pronouns for Liam because he is transsexual" just "Liam is a boy". I don't intend to "hide" my past or deny that I'm female-bodied but can you allow ME to choose who owns that information, let ME decide whether or not it's relevant. Ugh, seriously. >_< Even iwth the best of intentions, outing someone without their permission is not nice at all. It's like people who introduce someone as "This is [name], they're gay/asexual/whatever". That's completely irrelevant and it doesn't make oyu seem "accepting" to have a friend when you announce it like that. Link to post Share on other sites
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