age you first thought of yourself as asexual?

[chrysalide]

In my teens I thought the reason I wasn't popular with guys was that I was too fat or ugly, but at some point I realized that I actually didn't want to be doing things with guys. Then I came across the word asexuality at 17 but thought I couldn't be because I sometimes masturbated and experienced romantic attraction. But then I found AVEN at 18 and I'm now pretty much out and open, except with my family.

[nataliex]

That sounds just like me!

x

[Cupcake_Master]

This may sound a bit young, but when I was twelve I suspected it, and realized it.

[Tio]

13-14 or so I first realised I was.... different. Not interested.

Thought I was a late bloomer until 16-17 when I realised nothing was happening. I didn't have a name for it, I just went along with my aromantic asexual life, occasionally exploring reasons why I was different. Which lead me to AVEN at 23. Now almost 25.

[AceOfCurls]

I knew I was different when I was 12, but I thought I just liked girls (I fell for my best friend), but it wasn't in a sexual kind of way. I liked her, she was my best friend.

I didn't know I was different during junior high because I was a complete and utter loner. Zero friends. I hung out in the library for lunch. Literally zero friends, so without peer interactions there wasn't a chance for me to realize anything significant.

High School came, still didn't like anyone, but they were such awkward years that it didn't really matter and my friends weren't into High School guys (only tv guys Jensen Ackles, David Boreanaz, Spike, and so on). But then college came and I guess that's when they concluded that it was time. Now it's just single ol' me. *waits for it to be her time* >.>

[kt8]

Since about age 12 when the other girls started "liking" boys... I kind of invented the term for myself, but it didn't really show up that much until age 17, when I became restless and curious and randomly Googled "asexual".

[Kiki Asexual Superstar]

realized around 12-13, also realized that I didn't want to be married or have kids at that age.

In high school, had two boyfriends, but was always nervous every time they touched me. had lots of impossible crushes who always rejected me. scared my prom date when he kissed me. I completely shut down mentally and ran into bathroom. If he ever sees this, I am so sorry.

"came out" of the asexy closet when I went to college, Just told guys that "I didn't believe in sex" followed by an explanation of what I wouldn't do if that explanation didn't frighten them away,( for the record and boost the morale of people who think that they will never find anyone, I have had several boyfriends and other assorted interests over the years. It's not hopeless.) Once I felt in control, I could engage in the physical things that I did enjoy without the worry that it would lead to sex.

found the term asexual when my ex's girlfriend at the time "insulted" me with it through MySpace several years ago. It lead me to AVEN. Found out that I was not alone in the way I was.

Currently 31 years old and am comfortable in being who I am and always was. 8)

[Azaria]

26 - And this was just a few weeks ago when I discovered this.

Same here. Had suspicions, but never came up with anything conclusive.

Until.. AVEN.

[House of Chimeras]

I think for me I did not consciously realize that “hay, I’m not interested in guys or girls unlike everyone else” when I was around about 16 or maybe even 17. I didn’t really think of myself as an asexual until I came across the term and decided it fit me when I was 19.

[mad_scientist]

20. The week I discovered the word in this context, and AVEN.

[303vegas]

Probably about 5 years abo. I didn't even know it existed untill I read an article about it in New Scientist. Until then I just thought of myself as unlucky!

So in reply: 32

[Guest member25959]

I have asways been Asexual, i've never displayed any sexual interests, or romantic interests.

I first thought of myself as Asexual back in early 2008/Late 2007 (I was about 1415 yrs old), when during a sex education class we discussed sexual orientations and I noticed that I didn't fit into any of those categories.

I first identified as Asexual in early January (I was 16), possible a few days before new year, when I started to research Asexuality.

And I first identified as Aromantic about a month after, when I looked atthe whole romantic attraction identification thing in more depth.

In short, I was a bout 15 when I first thought of myself as Asexual

[wulfgar83]

I realized that I was asexual when I was around 23 years old but I think a part of me always knew I was different. I found girls attractive but had no interest in having sex with them at all. I always just wanted to get to know them for who they were.

[LittleMermaid]

I was 17. Until then I thought I must just be a late bloomer. But then when I discovered the term Asexual I decided that it fit me. And then I found AVEN. :)

[Mr. Ten Below]

I was calling myself asexual just in my head around seventeen or eighteen or so, then I discovered AVEN and started using the word officially around twenty. Before I started thinking about sexuality at all, though, I was focusing mostly on my decision to always remain single, which is related to my asexuality though I didn't know it. That was probably since I was ten or something, haha.

[Novalee]

I discovered the term asexual when I was 19.

In my late teens, I realized that I had a low interest in sex/low sex drive, but I assumed that this was normal for girls. I thought that those feelings would kick in one I was in a serious relationship... Well, they didn't which led me to AVEN.

[GiyganMage]

Here's how I came to the conclusion that I am asexual:

Early-Late Childhood-- Was aesthetically attracted to (and somewhat obsessed with) the opposite sex, but didn't know why

11-12 years old-- Not as obsessed as before, but still somewhat attracted, still only aesthetically

13-14 years old-- Puberty kicked in, developed a slight sex drive, but never obsessed over it like others did

15 years old-- Realized that sex really didn't interested me nearly as much as it did everyone else around me. I did not (and still do not) understand what the big deal is

16-17 years old-- Started jokingly calling my self "asexual," "antisexual," or "nonsexual", but in my mind, I started to seriously consider the possibility

18 years old (now)-- I discovered AVEN and confirmed that I was, indeed, asexual

[devdev]

Most all of my time through school, the other kids would often joke and poke fun at me, calling me "gay," or "homo," or something like that.

Back then, I thought, "Huh, am I gay? Maybe I am. Whatever."

But it wasn't until I was about to get a college roommate that I really had to think about it. I was 21. We were talking, and he was a really big, "christian" and he demanded to know whether I was "straight" or "gay". I didn't really know which to say. That's when I really had to sit and think about it. And it bothered me to have to declare myself one of those two. He said he didn't want to be roommates if I was, "gay" and I didn't want to lie to him, but I didn't consider another option.

Eventually, I decided to tell him off. I told him, "I don't know why this would make a huge deal to you unless you're gay and you're afraid you'd fall for me. And I DEFINITELY don't want to have sex with you, so maybe I don't even want to be your roommate."

Well, of course, he was really pissed, and he decided he, "couldn't be my roommate." And I decided I didn't want to have such a shallow roommate anyway. Eventually, we met and I think he was pretty bummed that we didn't end up as roommates, because he realized I was a lot more fun than the roommate he ended up having. I think his roommate was one of those guys who went out and got drunk every night. But at least he wasn't gay. LOL.

Not long after, I started talking to this girl on the phone a lot. We talked a lot of stuff out and she helped me work a lot of things out for myself. At age 22, I discovered "asexual" is a better term for describing myself.

So, I suppose my answer is 22.

[Shaded]

I was about 13 when I first realised I was different, though I didn’t know what asexuality was exactly, the whole description was what I first thought of myself as. I found out about asexuality when I was 16, and when anybody asked about me thats what i told them.

[Julesie]

I first found out I was asexual when I was about seventeen. I was lurking on a site called gaia online in the life issues forum. I saw a topic titled something about not ever fancying anyone or whatever. -It was a few years ago so I don't remember-and it reminded me of myself. I clicked the topic and read what the user had written. Everything matched me 100%. I started reading the replies and quite a few people suggested that he or she was probably asexual. Curious I looked it up on the internet and read about it on wikipedia. I continued looking for information about it and was sure that thats what I was.

Before that though, without knowing what it was called, I had a suspicion since I was young. I don't know how young exactly, maybe eleven or so. I just realised that I never looked at people as anything other than people. My friends would go on about how hot someone looked or how they loved their ass etc and I just looked and it and said 'eh its okay.' I never understood how it looked any different or what was special about it.

So in conclusion - knowing the name and I wasn't a freak - 17

Knowing I was different - 11 or so.

[The hug]

17... I falled in love with one girl, and I was totaly sure, that I don't wanna have sex with her. Only phisical contacts whitch arent sexual... Kiss, hug, holding hand...

[Mashizou]

It was never something that really "hit me", per se. For me, it was more of a general life-long understanding that I was different. My parents are very old fashioned and began telling me from an early age that "Sex is for after marriage only" and to "be careful to never get into a situation that might get carried away because hormones have a mind of their own." There was also "When you decide to have sex, come to us first and we'll talk about birth control." My response, from a young age through my early teens, was to roll my eyes and tell them that they had nothing to worry about because I just wasn't interested. I eventually gave up trying to explain to them that, while I appreciated all of their concern, it just wasn't going to happen. I enjoy the emotional aspects of a relationship but the physical sides have just never appealed to me. I didn't start trying to find a medical excuse for my disinterest until I entered high school. A few years down the road, finding AVEN finally gave me a name for everything I felt -- or didn't feel, in this case -- and helped me better understand who I am.

[A.V.A.]

Well,Like several people here, I found out about asexuality as an acknowledged phenomenon while googling. I was 22.

I remember playing house with my generic brand non-barbie dolls as a kid (4-5years) and thinking that this was fun to pretend but I definitely didn't what to ever get married myself. If I did, I would just be doing it to be like my mother, which I recall thinking was a bad reason. I told my mother this. She was unconvinced. I wanted to have kids though, and I knew that in my religious fundamentalist family you were supposed to be married to have kids. Funny thing is the contradiction there didn't occur to me till I was a teenager!! Then I vaguely imagined finding some man in a similar position and getting married just for the purpose of having kids and playing couple while visiting our families on holidays! When I had free access to the internet at collage, I found out about anonymous sperm donors and that sperm banks now sell to single women. What a relief. In high school I thought I was maturing slowly and that others were exaggerating their interest to meet a sex obsessed society's expectation. I was very shocked in high school to realize that most people actually thought that gender was something real, and that males and females should actually act differently. I'd asked my mother why the boys and girls on commercials between Sunday morning cartoons dressed differently as a small child. She said it was a gimmick to sell toys!?!? I noticed that genders dressed most differently at church and assumed that gender was a religiously inspired idea. I figured out how seriously people take gender and how mean they are if you don't conform pretty quick in high school when I tried to take an auto mechanic class, a computer class, and a class called agriculture. They sounded fun to me. I was smart enough to drop auto mechanics the first day, because I was treated so weirdly. The agriculture class was a horrible experience. Well I realize this post is really long and I'm obviously rambling! My thanks to anyone who actually reads it all!!

[Plaid]

17. Had realized I wasn't at all interested in sex a while before that, but I didn't know that it wasn't exactly normal due to having friends who never talked about that sorta stuff. Heck, I'm the one with the dodgy sense of humour in the group.

Another friend suggested I might be ace, I found AVEN, and here I am.

[Hpets]

I knew something was up as early as grade eight, and over my high school years I gradually came to accept that sex and the like wasn't as interesting a topic to me as it was to most other people. In grade eleven or twelve I even jokingly came up with the term "sansexual." But I didn't find out asexuality was a real thing until I was 19. I pretty much thought of myself as asexual at that very moment.

[CatLadyCody928]

I've known that something about me was different for at least the last 12 or 13 years.... probably longer in the back of my mind.

It wasn't until the past couple of weeks or so that I *REALLY* realized that I'm just not interested in the act and all that goes with it. I'm 32.

[princessc]

well at my school, we started sex ed early, I was 10 at the time, and they made this big deal about how bad it was and how to wait until marriage and you know the usual stuff, and the whole time I was like "People actually enjoy this? This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of." And then how naive I was, I thought that everyone thought the way I did and that this was a complete waste of my learning time. Then I learned later that people do actually want this, and it was like "What?!" So I knew then that I was different. But they never talk about asexuals in those types of classes (anyone else think that they need to?) so I thought that there was something wrong with me, and honestly feared for my health (I might be a slight hypochondriac)

Then later, after I had spent a few years trying to figure out what the heck was going on (at this time I would have been about 13), I ran across an article in a magazine about asexual teens. I read it and I was like "Hey, these people are just like me!" :) so I told my best friend "Hey, I'm asexual." and she was like "Ok, whatever that is." But then (I may have a slight memory problem) I...didn't really forget but you know how you just put something in the back of your mind.

Then this year, I have had some rough times (read my other posts if you want more info) and something sparked my memory about asexuals, so I decided that I would look that up on Facebook (I may be slightly addicted to that webpage, that and this one are always on my screen). I figured that it was time I reclaim myself again (I had been trying to convince myself that I was normal and wanted sex...that was a complete waste of months, it didnt work at all..I realize now, why change what's good?) and find some friends I could actually talk to and they would understand me and I would understand them and it would just be a hug and cake fest!! Then I found a reference to this page, and yay! now I'm here! :) (I'm 15 now)

yay for AVEN friends and cake :cake: :)

[SoulPhox]

I guess at very first it was maybe 20 or 21...

But then I got in a very sexual relationship and thought that there was no way that I could be.

However, said relationship led me to realize that I can't just have sex without an emotional connection, and that I don't even have sex for the sex, but for the closeness and the pleasure of my partner.

So, I think I finally settled on it at around... 24? 23? 25, maybe...?

Mid Twenties! That should do.

[Kathlyn]

I was 15 or 16 when I though I might be, I knew I wasn't straight but because of always double guessing myself I didn't accept it or thing of myself as asexual until I came across the term aromantic last year (now I'm 19, almost 20), which answered my lingering doubts (I feared that I might just be a late bloomer, and if I decided I was asexual I would suddenly regret it or change and become sexual)

[Pillbox circus]

A few months ago (I would have been 15-ish) I met a girl and we bonded over "Good Omens", later, it came up and she told me her sister was asexy. My response at the time was "huh...really?". About a week after that I wiki'd asexual and found out.