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Coming out?


Grace

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Going through this again. The coming out thing. Only about gender. I need to come out to my parents before I go mad. They keep asking me about shit that I do because of my gender. The way I dress, shit like that. So if I don't come out soon I think I might go insane. I'm going Sunday hopefully to look at a place before I go to michigan. If I talk to the guy who gave me this job offer and go look at this place. then I'm going to try to move asap. Hopefully then, but how?

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I'm sorry that I don't have any real advise or tips. I haven't come out to my parents as asexual yet. I don't worry about them being angry or anything. They have already accepted my older brother and his male partner. They are fairly open-minded, but I think they will just tell me that I am a late-bloomer or some other excuse. I suppose I should do it, but... yeah, I'm nervous.

Well, anyway, good luck coming out to your parents. From your post, it looks like you have come out to them before. I am sure they will be understanding. Good luck!

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Best of luck. Maybe would they be more accepting if they read some sort of literature alongside your coming out? There are books (Parrotfish by Ellen Wittlinger is amazing), or news articles (on Chaz Bono, or that ABC special on the trans kids...) or even movies/documentaries (like TransGeneration). That could help them to see that this is a fairly common, necessary, rational thing, and not some phase or whatever. I remember it helped a lot with my mom.

Best of luck. :cake: :cake: :cake:

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I think I'm going to write my mom a letter and leave it somewhere I know she'll see it. She gets home from Texas the day I leave for Michigan. Hopefully a few hours gap. So now I need to think about how I want to present this to her. I also need to keep in mind that what I say in the letter will directly affect how she tells my dad, which will happen, whether I like it or not.

So yeah, anxiety levels are at a premium in this mind. Can't wait unti Monday when I've made up my mind about this shit and I'm in the car on my way to Michigan to be with other queer folk.

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Yikes! Coming out (especially to parents) can be so difficult, but necessary, even if it is just about gender and not completely about Benjamin's Syndrome.

A letter would be good. It gets the words said when actually saying them is so hard. Plus you can think about what to say and plan it rather than trying to squeeze the words out under stress.

And then they know, and life can continue with the fact that you have done what you need to do in order to go forward.

The first few days or even months might be stressful afterwards, but there is a lot of future, and this must be done.

*hugs Grace closely*

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So I talked to my mom on the phone. Apparently she knows what I'm going to in Michigan (camp trans, all she knows is that it's a queer camp, not the fact that it's primarily a camp for trans folk). She bitched about how I wasn't going to have cell reception and what not and how I told her I was shutting my phone off for most of the trip, and would only be able to check messages when we made trips in to town. Needless to say, she flipped. I told her if I got shot for being who I am, then that's all there is to it, but I'm not ever going to stop being my self. She told me that if that's who I am, then I need to tell the rest of the family...

Oh god... this should go all sorts of well...

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She told me that if that's who I am, then I need to tell the rest of the family...

My mother has had sort of a similar reaction.... Which I'm not too happy about, really. I don't like my family. At all. Many of them disapprove of my transitioning and I don't want to be around them. My mother is talking about how and when I will talk to them about all of this and I just don't care because 1) I'm rather nonchalant about transitioning, what's the huge deal about it? and 2) pft, I would absolutely love to put off talking to them into infinity. That'd be great.

So yeah, I'm sort of in the same boat regarding that.

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Yeah, you're the same way I am.

About ten years ago I started loosing really important people in my life. Then eight years ago this week I lost the last person that was important to me, me sister Heidi. So I really have no one in my family I care to keep talking to. I could leave and not think about it with any disconcert.

I know each one of my family members is going to have a ton of their own unique smart ass remarks, rude remarks, and rude questions.

I'm really tempted to leave a note... so tempted...

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*total hugs*

How is the coming out process coming along?

:cake:

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It's not. I tried to talk to my mom casually about trans folk. She at one point said "I don't worry about you, you're a boy, I know you're a boy". I need to find a place of my own. This shit is going to go horrible if I don't.

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*sigh* I would just come out as an asexual to my mum, because all the crap That I identify with would make her brain explode...

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