Angel_eyes Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 ok so im thinking about having sex with my bf. i read about how everyone is having so much fun and i want in on it, but i cant get aroused, at least not very easily!!!!!! im afraid i just cannot get aroused. nor can i even seem to masturbate, i dont even think i can orgasm. so im pretty useless aren't i? <_< no matter how much i want to, i just don't desire sex for sex, i really want it because of what it represents and because my bf would like it. its the way to express to your partner just how much you want them. i want mine but not sexually..... but my desire for him is still super strong... in fact its just nuts. he doesnt seem to mind or care about sex and told me if i dont want it, then hes fine and that if i want it, i can start it, but if i dont, thats ok. but i cant initiate, not when i cant exactly perform, i mean how do i have sex when i cant be aroused/orgasm? so like, what if i just go down on him??? why cant we do that??? is it ok to give but not receive? id love that, really.. i just feel the pressure to take. but what id really like is cuddling and caressing. is oral/hand jobs ok? would most guys be happy just to have those? is penetration really that much better? if i could do more i would but i physically seem unable too... :( but id love to make him go mad. id love to join in on the fun, but im just not wired too. so id get great pleasure out of him doing so, and then get mine through the cuddling afterwards... but i dont want to initiate it if it'll just make him want me to be apart of it... Link to post Share on other sites
Hallucigenia Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Different people are going to give you different answers to this. I've seen stories of couples where it worked, though. Why not ask your boyfriend how he feels about it? He seems pretty accepting, from what you've said so far, and good communication is key no matter what you end up doing. Link to post Share on other sites
henshin Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I wouldn't try penetration unless you are physically aroused because it could be more painful than necessary. Ask your boyfriend to spend a lot of time on foreplay, and just touching/stroking/massaging you in general and see how you feel. You don't have to rush into anything, just take it slowly and go on how you feel, and make sure you let each other know how you feel all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
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