Male Lesbians

[AVENCakes]

Only the last one is a true lesbian. The other two cases are bisexual, so I'm not so sure they even count. And bisexuals who date anyone who is biologically male want that person as a man, not as a woman. If they wanted a woman, they would look for one.

I am so sorry, I didn't realize you were labeled the all-knowing, official person who has been given the power to tell people what their orientation is. Tell me, oh wise one, what's mine? Clearly no one can truly know who they are without running it by you first, so I better make sure before I make a mistake. You don't know me, anyways, and you seem to be best at making definite statements about complete strangers.

It's, quite frankly, a bit offensive that you think one exception defines a person's sexuality. These are women who, with one exception are attracted to women. Women who fit into the lesbian culture, not the bisexual. Women who are overall attracted to women but aren't so close-minded as to refuse to date a man they find attractive. Women who are not self-identified as bisexual and can have a hard time dealing with the fact people start assuming they're straight- just like the women with MtFs have a hard time dealing with the fact that people start assuming they're gay. The exception doesn't make the rule, and you really shouldn't go around telling people how they have to identify.

Look, I'm just telling you the reality. These are facts: I live in the US. I know people from all across the US who are self-identified lesbians who've dated men, transmen, transwomen, etc. People from very accepting areas included.

Or maybe they didn't give a [expletive] about the lesbian community. Which is hard to believe, because a lesbian needs to be plugged into that to find a partner.

Or maybe they do care about the lesbian community, but happen to have friends instead of judgemental advicees that you seem to think everyone in the lesbian community is.

Define "nobody." Do you mean nobody she knew? If so, what kinds of people did she know? Straight? Lesbian? Something else?

Nobody, as in nobody who knew about it. Most of the people she knew were LGBT as well, including many lesbians. And the girls she dated after certainly didn't seem to have a problem with her history.

[GirlInside]

Whatever. I'm sorry I brought it up.

I'm just sick of those bigoted [string of expletives] that make up the overwhelming majority of gays and lesbians.

[Toff]

I'm just sick of those bigoted [string of expletives] that make up the overwhelming majority of gays and lesbians.

That's... a bit bigoted...

[AVENCakes]

On the subject of bisexuals and their attraction, there's an essay done by a self-described "trannychaser" (I hate the word "tranny", and it's in heavy use- also, if you don't like sexual stuff, don't read) about how she's more attracted to genderfucks as a bisexual than she is people in the binary.

http://www.nerve.com/PersonalEssays/Newitz/trannychaser/ - NSFW

I also know a few people who are bisexual and prefer masculine women/feminine men because they're monogamous, but generally aren't happy with masculinity and a penis as much as they are with a mix.

Whatever. I'm sorry I brought it up.

I'm just sick of those bigoted [string of expletives] that make up the overwhelming majority of gays and lesbians.

And I'm sorry I keep pointing out that they aren't all "strings of expletives" when you so clearly are intent on insisting that they are, and that's the only reason nobody wants to date you- when you keep saying you're aromantic so it's not like you want to date them anyways.

You aren't all that much better than them, by the way. You complain that lesbians refuse to date anyone with a penis and everyone says you aren't a "true" woman for not transitioning, then turn around and say any lesbian who does date outside her gender isn't a "true" lesbian, and keep painting them as extremely sexist and intolerant. And some are, definitely, some people of every race, creed, nationality, sexual orientation, gender, and sex are sexist, racist, and every other kind of bigot imaginable- they do exist, I'm not denying that, but you act as though being a woman who likes pussy and not cock means that she, or at least her friends, will be these awful judgemental, intolerant people when you certainly haven't met every single lesbian on earth, much less delved into every single group.

And on those two lesbians who wouldn't date you- maybe it's because they were ashamed to be seen with someone with such a low view of her sexual orientation and friends, and just used your sex as an excuse.

[GirlInside]

Actually, when one told me I could someday be in a relationship with a lesbian, I thought I might be open to that. And I was fine with them back then. I was their biggest defender until they hurt me and I saw the ugly truth.

Maybe there is a good relationship out there for me. I don't know. But it couldn't be with a man (I don't like men very much) or a straight woman (they would need me to be a man), so guess who that leaves.

It was after learning how intolerant they were--and having this happen twice--that I finally gave up on any possibility of any kind of relationship. You're right, I like it better this way, with no relationships but I'm still hurt. It's been a year and I'm still really hurt--I see a lesbian couple and that mixture of sadness and anger comes up again. I would have been happy to stay friends, but sexuality got in the way, and I had to end some good friendships over it. I can see why some people say straight men and straight women can't be just friends; I'm observing a similar thing with lesbians. They sure can't seem to control themselves around me.

I prefer women for all companionship purposes, and if I were to be in a relationship, it would be with a woman. Technically, that makes me a lesbian. But I'm finding that I don't like that label anymore. I'm certainly not straight, either. Instead, I find myself more committed to a decision to keep sexuality out of my life. I'm not even demisexual or demiromantic--I'm more like 5% both (assuming demi is 50%). Why go to all kinds of trouble for that 5%? :)

I'm sorry if I've offended you. But can you see why I don't like them so much anymore?

[Marco - Proprietor of Doom]

Wow... my head is spinning after reading that 'slight' misunderstanding.

Anyway some of these posts got me thinking about the Gay/Lesbian community in my area... and well... although my knowledge on the subject maybe limited... I recall going to see a play at one such group as a favour to a friend. Well it wasn't so much an experience as an ordeal, for one the acting wasn't grate and it seemed to reinforce a lot of negative stereotypes which I used to think were a minority, er, but more importantly was after the play, see it was me and two others who came as a favour for the one guy, there was a point when we were talking to some of the group members, then the unavoidable "So are you gay?" question was asked to us, now the three of us got as far as saying no and then it seemed the air went ice cold, and they immediately stopped talking to us, well except for one guy who I already knew (a different guy as to wanted the favour, who wasn't even in the room) and some other guy who seemed intent on having a fistfight with me! :( (I mean what the hell!?) I felt pretty damn scared and angry.

BUT not only did they react totally callous to a heterosexual being anywhere near there group, but they don't even seem to get on with each other, as in, the gays and the Lesbians seem to slag each other off constantly and aren't even in the same group, they are in different buildings to each other (Why though, what could possibly happen?). If I was gay I'd never go to one of these groups... not after seeing that.

However I have meet some very nice and accepting Gays though, and I'm trying not to let this show of self segregation and mob mentality be my view for every person in the Gay/Lesbian community.

Sorry if I don't phrase this stuff right

[AllyCat]

I'm happy to admit that 95% percent of the gay/lesbian community sucks, because it follows from Sturgeon's law: 95% of everything sucks.

I will say though, GirlInside: I don't really know how to label my sexual orientation, but your gender is actually not among the numerous reasons that you're not my type. (No offense; I'm sure I'm not your type either.)

[Guest EGD]

This whole male lesbian thing is interesting to me. I guess, partly because I sort of feel the same, but in reverse.

I tend to try and check that the males I am with have had some sort of romantic interest in another male.. or will admit that other males are attractive.

Sometimes, dependent on how I am feeling, I do feel like a male in a female body and do feel like I am in a gay relationship.

Um, one boy told me his friends had spotted he and I out together and had thought he was dating another boy (because of how I was dressed/presenting).

And he told me he sort of got off on it--me looking like a boy--us being mistaken for a gay couple. I was very very pleased to hear this... cause at first he found me a little um... gay on the brain overwhelming. *laughs hard at how well that turned out then*

[NigelFt]

I prefer women for all companionship purposes, and if I were to be in a relationship, it would be with a woman. Technically, that makes me a lesbian.

I feel the same way. In all honesty, I find the the whole gay clubbing scene rather uncomfortable, not least because my idea of an evening out does not include being in a dark room full of sweaty people, music so loud my ears bleed. and paying for overpriced drinks ...

But on the other hand, where else would I find someone (female preferable), who would be comfortable in going out with a male lesbian ?

Oh well ... *sigh*

[GirlInside]

But on the other hand, where else would I find someone (female preferable), who would be comfortable in going out with a male lesbian ?

Anywhere else has got to be better than where you are. I would think those who are interested in male lesbians wouldn't be going to lesbian bars.

[Robins]

Perhaps the author does not understand MtF people who like women. Also, one's gender identity and one's sexual orientation seem to develop at different times in utero. Perhaps an embryo's brain that develops male genetalia (and is likely XY), and also develops a sexual orientation for women, but develops a more female brain, at least regarding gender identity (in other words, are trans).

The being born "male" yet being born with a female gender identity is basically what a MtF is. If they do nonetheless like girls, well, so be it. They are women who were born male and part of that process caused them to like women.

Anyways, just some thoughts. I am still not sure of the author really understand what he is writing about. I would say that his "male lesbians" are just MtF peeps who happen to be attracted to women.

No, the article does make perfect sense to me and describes me quite entirely as I am. I have always been this type of love-shy man and I really really happen to hate my own gender a lot- male gender roles,stereotypes everything. But that does not mean I should call myself MTF. How can I if I don't identify as female? I don't feel female, I feel male most of the time. My inner gender is male and I am just like any other guy and I like to be seen as guy now that I am born as one. If I call myself female, it feels odd as I am not one, yet, the desire/attraction towards female beauty is on always. I prefer and enjoy the aroma of feminine beauty. I wish I were born female, but that does not mean I happen to hate my own male body or wish to undergo some modification. It's okay with what I am, but my wishing to be female implies that being female would have given me more enjoyment and appreciation of life as I find male life too boring or clogged and emotionless, while the female life as something very refreshing,artistic, glamorous. It may be that I do have a very strong female side which wants a lot of expression,yet, quite a lot distinguishes me from a typical MTF lesbian.

I have gone through my puberty stages and have passed on happily as male always as that is what seems natural to me. I cannot get detached from my male identity since it's a part of my self. But still my appreciation for female lifestyle wouldn't just go away and so, my wish I were born female is always there. It's a kind of gender dysphoria maybe but surely not the MTF type.

[Sammie]

I'm always surprised about people who say stuff like 'O my God! I had no idea gay people were so intolerant'. Well, duh, they're people. They're probably just as tolerant and intolerant as every other group of people. Being discriminated against doesn't automaticly make people more considerate themselves.

As for male lesbians, I still find the

'I wish I was born female but I don't wish to now become female'-thing difficult to grasp.

You don't want to become female? Not even if it was painless, easy and came with no social troubles at all? Why not?

Is it because you're farmiliar and comfortable with the life you have now? Like: "I wish I had gotten that car but now that I have this one, I don't want to switch it for that one anymore. This one feels like MY car."

I'm being very trivial comparing a body to a car, but I can think of no other way to express it.

[Robins]

As for male lesbians, I still find the

'I wish I was born female but I don't wish to now become female'-thing difficult to grasp.

You don't want to become female? Not even if it was painless, easy and came with no social troubles at all? Why not?

Is it because you're farmiliar and comfortable with the life you have now? Like: "I wish I had gotten that car but now that I have this one, I don't want to switch it for that one anymore. This one feels like MY car."

I'm being very trivial comparing a body to a car, but I can think of no other way to express it.

Of course not,because as female with female body I wouldn't be happy either, it's simply not me-I would become a stranger in my own eyes.

And my wishing female is hence something of a wish that I were born with a female gender identity as well, which is something I again don't possess now. And so, since I don't possess a female gender identity, how could I live comfortably with a female body or persona even if the process was painless?

But then if I don't possess female gender identity, why I wish I were female? Well, I don't think that to appreciate feminine beauty and glam one would necessarily have to have the brain of a female. One could as well be a man and desire to live a female life.

Haven't you ever wished to live the life of a fairy-tale character just thinking it would be more fun? Does that mean you are less human? Well, it's something similar to this. Only unfortunately, here, the gender question has got into the way and brought about more confusion.

[Sammie]

Hmm, I sort of understand that explanation.

So is missing out on the beauty and glam, or the 'fairy-tale', a big issue for male lesbians? Or no bigger then the disappointment of not being able to meet real dragons and travel in time? (I was heartbroken about that?)

Is it an impossible wish these men simply have to 'get over', or embrace, or will it complicate their relationships their entire life?

[AVENCakes]

As for male lesbians, I still find the

'I wish I was born female but I don't wish to now become female'-thing difficult to grasp.

You don't want to become female? Not even if it was painless, easy and came with no social troubles at all? Why not?

My understanding is that they don't wish they were born female because they are female, they wish that they were born female so that they'd have a better chance of finding the relationship they desire.

I could be wrong, but I think that these are men who prefer the "female" role in a relationship with women. However, most straight women want a manly man and most lesbians want an actual woman. I also don't think they're looking at this from a trans point fo view- they're looking at it from a "penis=man, vagina=woman" point of view, so they probably think that if they had been born women they'd identify as female so there'd be no dysphoria, but they know if they tried to do it now it wouldn't work.

[AllyCat]

As for male lesbians, I still find the

'I wish I was born female but I don't wish to now become female'-thing difficult to grasp.

You don't want to become female? Not even if it was painless, easy and came with no social troubles at all? Why not?

Is it because you're farmiliar and comfortable with the life you have now? Like: "I wish I had gotten that car but now that I have this one, I don't want to switch it for that one anymore. This one feels like MY car."

I'm being very trivial comparing a body to a car, but I can think of no other way to express it.

Of course not,because as female with female body I wouldn't be happy either, it's simply not me-I would become a stranger in my own eyes.

And my wishing female is hence something of a wish that I were born with a female gender identity as well, which is something I again don't possess now. And so, since I don't possess a female gender identity, how could I live comfortably with a female body or persona even if the process was painless?

But then if I don't possess female gender identity, why I wish I were female? Well, I don't think that to appreciate feminine beauty and glam one would necessarily have to have the brain of a female. One could as well be a man and desire to live a female life.

Haven't you ever wished to live the life of a fairy-tale character just thinking it would be more fun? Does that mean you are less human? Well, it's something similar to this. Only unfortunately, here, the gender question has got into the way and brought about more confusion.

You can tell me if I'm missing the point here, but why not be glam as a man? Why not find a place that is safe, and rock out with the hair and makeup and clothes to your heart's content? Or whatever else it is that women are supposed to do.

As a person with a female body who is going off the working hypothesis that she's cis, I have to point out that I'm not terribly glam. At the moment, I'm sitting here with my totally glam buzzcut hair in my totally glam baggy knee-length denim shorts proofreading my totally glam manuscript that is now overdue and feeling bored out of my totally glam mind by this glam proofreading. And thinking that I should go for a glam run and sweat my glam sweat so I can control this glam roll of tummy fat that I seem to be aquiring. I don't see why being male is such a handicap to feminine beauty that you're unable to do better than me. I make a pathetic show of it.

I recognize that there might be obstacles of money (but it's not like women are the ones making a dollar to men's 87 cents either), and intolerance from other people, but if you really want it, why not seek it?

[Sammie]

Fair enough.

If it's the glam and beauty male lesbians want, do they style up with high heels, nailpolish, make up and perfect hair when they are in accepting circumstances? And if not, why not? Or on a less ' appearance based' note: do they wish they could gossip and giggle and cry at chick movies without people thinking they must be gay?

and if not, Then what do they find so appealing about being female?

[NigelFt]

Fair enough.

If it's the glam and beauty male lesbians want, do they style up with high heels, nailpolish, make up and perfect hair when they are in accepting circumstances? And if not, why not? Or on a less ' appearance based' note: do they wish they could gossip and giggle and cry at chick movies without people thinking they must be gay?

and if not, Then what do they find so appealing about being female?

As a self- described Male Lesbian, it is not about the clothes, the shoes, the hair, or the make up; it's not about being girly, or enjoying "rom-coms"; it goes much deeper than that. I am a male, and I have accepted that my gender identity is male but given the choice, I rather had been born female than male, and were that I was born female, I would look for a relationship with a women.

Personally, I find to easier to relate to women, easier to make friends with women, and more relaxed with women, than men. For more years than I care to remember, this has been true. It is also true that for several years, I was beaten up for being emotionally sensitive, with the result I had to develop a harsh, aggressive persona, which persists to this day, in order to survive, which is at odds with my true inner self.

In "Men in Love", Nancy Friday quotes Dr. Leah Schaefer as saying "... [some men] seem to end up being worn out by [the] notion that masculine life is an unending endurance contest." In other words, for them, what they long for is a " ... respite, a vacation from the tough combative need to prove [they] are a man."

Somebody once said " ... a women can be anything she wants to be, from butch, to a girly -girl. [Women] do not have to prove their femininity ... but a man can't be emotionally sensitive; they have fight wars, storm beaches, ward off wild animals, hunt for food, or in other words, be manly. If a man is emotionally sensitive, then they are beaten up for being a wimp, are accused of being gay, then beaten up again".

So why do I find so appealing about femininity ? Because I have several traits, which as a man, I have to keep buried, but were I a women, would be perfectly acceptable.

Makes sense ?

No, the article does make perfect sense to me and describes me quite entirely as I am. I have always been this type of love-shy man and I really really happen to hate my own gender a lot- male gender roles,stereotypes everything. But that does not mean I should call myself MTF. How can I if I don't identify as female? I don't feel female, I feel male most of the time. My inner gender is male and I am just like any other guy and I like to be seen as guy now that I am born as one. If I call myself female, it feels odd as I am not one, yet, the desire/attraction towards female beauty is on always. I prefer and enjoy the aroma of feminine beauty. I wish I were born female, but that does not mean I happen to hate my own male body or wish to undergo some modification. It's okay with what I am, but my wishing to be female implies that being female would have given me more enjoyment and appreciation of life as I find male life too boring or clogged and emotionless, while the female life as something very refreshing,artistic, glamorous. It may be that I do have a very strong female side which wants a lot of expression,yet, quite a lot distinguishes me from a typical MTF lesbian.

I have gone through my puberty stages and have passed on happily as male always as that is what seems natural to me. I cannot get detached from my male identity since it's a part of my self. But still my appreciation for female lifestyle wouldn't just go away and so, my wish I were born female is always there. It's a kind of gender dysphoria maybe but surely not the MTF type.

Exactly ...

[Sammie]

Somebody once said " ... a women can be anything she wants to be, from butch, to a girly -girl. [Women] do not have to prove their femininity ... but a man can't be emotionally sensitive; they have fight wars, storm beaches, ward off wild animals, hunt for food, or in other words, be manly. If a man is emotionally sensitive, then they are beaten up for being a wimp, are accused of being gay, then beaten up again".

While this is somewhat overstated (there ARE people who are ready to accept emotional, sensitive men and all that. And there is strong pressure on women to prove their femininity.) it points out an important problem: men have a long way to go in the struggle for emancipation.

But they'll have to fight for it, (and any women who believes in equality will have to stand by their side). Fighting for the right to be strong can be easier then fighting for the right to be sensitive, but it's a struggle either way. I can't wait for the day men start a movement burning their suits or soccer-shirts and embracing the right to feel themselves of the gender binary.

I'm going off-topic a bit though, sorry.

[carried in bags]

ive always understood the male-lesbian concept. i think id be happier if i was born a girl. i feel false being a "bloke". when i was growing up i (deep down) prefered being with the girls than the boys. when i was about 8 i was friends with a twin, when i was at his birthday party i ended up leaving the "boy party" going off and playing with his twin sister in the "girl party"

[Robins]

Well, for the females here, they think it's easy for a man to be feminine,atleast in hide-out. But just look at the social expectations of a man and you will see what the problem is all about. I used to watch a lot of chick movies on TV and one day a neighbour guy found out and spread a whole rumour in my area,I turned into a laughing stock for no reason. But if I were girl and watched either a chick-flick or a war movie, no comments, full liberty. I must say I watch both types, as I feel like, but when I am into sensitive zone, I get rebuked. It's like I have a macho body, so, I have to be always aggressive. Nowadays, out of anger, I remain deliberately tough but my inside gets rotten as I let go of my sensitive nature for the people.

Add to it the pressure during teenage. The guys have to be the first to approach a beautiful woman for a date. I dislike this concept. I in my own eyes hate to be a perverted beast, and making advances to a woman makes me feel like a rapist. Yet, people keep asking me-"Shared a bed with how many girlfriends till date"? When I say I am not interested in this way, another frown full of surprise. It's like I have a butt, and so have to be always so sexually virile.

Now, already being male with male outfits on, I have had to earn the ridicule of being a lesser male. How can I risk more comments by turning into an effeminate cutie wearing high heels or lipsticks and fashion accessories? Don't you think that at this stage the only thing that comes into the mind would be that being born female would be really more liberating and tension-free? And I do see a lot of women coming together and saying that they are sick of their weaker sensitive status. I don't however see a lot of males coming up and saying they are sensitive, rather they only keep ranting and mocking at people like us who happen to be "lesser males". And more the repression, more the desire. If I were allowed to be as I am since childhood, I wouldn't have even said that I wish I were born female. But, now, I am tired and exasperated far too much.

[Sammie]

:( that is sad indeed.

But do remember, women fought for the right to watch those warmovies and maybe take a boxing class without being thought of as 'not real women' and before they actually fought for those rights, every women secretly wanting to be less sensitive and more active experienced the feeling of isolation that feminine men feel now.

Quite a few women in history raised their voices to claim rights for women and found no other women supporting them. Until one day, enough people spoke up in the right social climate for things to change. And even then, feminism took over a century to come to where it is today. (and things are still far from perfect).

Men are repressed in their freedom of expression in this society. Things are not going to change fast. Things are not going to change easy. And things will never change unless people stand up to change it.

the same topic is currently being discussed here as well: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?showtopic=44838

[AllyCat]

Nigel and Robins, thanks for your replies. I guess I have gotten a little spoiled and insensitive by having a lot of resources and being able to live in cities where people are not so rigid about their gender roles. I kind of forgot how bad it can be in a lot of places.

I agree with Sammie, we need a big societal change.

[AVENCakes]

Definitely. A giant societal change that will probably not come to pass until well after we're all dead. <_< I'm not optimistic. We are making strides forward, and everyone's come pretty far, but there's still so much intolerance that I don't expect much.

[Sammie]

Definitely. A giant societal change that will probably not come to pass until well after we're all dead. <_< I'm not optimistic. We are making strides forward, and everyone's come pretty far, but there's still so much intolerance that I don't expect much.

I would agree that a social change probably isn't going to happen soon. Mostly because social revolutions have the biggest chance of happening in a society that has know at least a generation of economic growth. Societies where people are high educated and don't have to worry so much about job security leave more room for radicals fighting for change, and more room for moderates to accept them.

Still, even now, every step helps. Every bit of activism prepares the public for the coming of change.

Man, I sound like Obama with a gender-agenda, ;)

[AVENCakes]

It seems like, at least in the US, we have a cycle of growth and decline (the great depression in the 30s, I think there was a decline in the 80s and there's one now), so hopefully after we get out of the downward turn and get back up we'll be able to make the strides.

I mean, the great depression was followed by women's rights, ending segregation, etc. 80's was followed by... the internet? But I think a lot of progress was made in gay rights/acceptance around then, too. I hope that's right, history was never my strong suit and we never covered anything after WW2.

[Sammie]

The great depression was also followed by World War II. The real changes came in the 60's when the first children to grow up without war and poverty were reaching adulthood.

Economies do tend to bounce back so it makes sense that there will evenutally be economic growth again in the West. I wouldn't count on it the next decade (and I wouldn't count on it to be huge), but it'll come. After that it will take a generation brought up without seeing fear of unemployment all around them. Generations like that make changes.

But don't get too optimistic yet: there is currently a generation growing up seeing economic crisis and unemployment. they will grow up thinking mostly of job-security and not so much of social change. In the next decade, I expect the social climate to only get less tolerant.

That's my theory on social change in the next few decades. What it doesn't take into account (because that's impossible to predict) is the impact of individuals. The flow of history may partly be a predictable machine, strong individuals CAN have a huge impact on society. So what I just said about the next few decades is what I think will happen unless we do something about it.

[AVENCakes]

I meant after stuff started going good for long enough- the 50s did suck for people. Who vaccuums in pearls?

I definitely don't expect it in the next decade, maybe in 20 or 30 years. So, hopefully by the time my hypothetical kids are teenagers. :/

Individuals can make an impact- but it's easier to make a a large one when you're in a good time for it. :/ I think we can make a bit of an impact, and definitely lay the groundwork, but I'm not sure how sucesfully we'll be at making that much of an impact.

[Sammie]

If it does happen 30 years from now, we'll be the older experienced generation that can stop the new gender-radicals from making mistakes that will turn their revolution violent or bring new stigma's and new labels.

[Robins]

If it does happen 30 years from now, we'll be the older experienced generation that can stop the new gender-radicals from making mistakes that will turn their revolution violent or bring new stigma's and new labels.

Actually, if you see my way, I am definitely having my male side built up quite well. I act aggressive when the urge comes, I act manly but only when I need to. But constantly doing so as is ordained by the male culture, is like enacting some blind drama and that is where I seek to redress the gender issue. I also have a mind which needs feminine nurture and my biological sex has got nothing to do with it. So, this feminine side should be allowed expression, I believe. Likewise, you women might be having problems on expressing masculine side. But, this is not exactly gender problem. It's a problem of a human being wanting to be integrated and recognized into a full human- and not willing to stay within a half persona of male or female.

I guess every person has a male as well as female side, and so, regardless of his biological sex, should be allowed to express each of his sides when he desires. I see no logic with why the dichotomy exists at all.