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AVENCakes

Crush vs. Squish

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AVENCakes

I'm assuming everyone knows what a crush is- if you aren't familiar with the term 'squish'- it's basically a non-romantic crush. The term was coined Here. :)

But I've always had a nasty time figuring out whehter what I'm feeling is a squish, and I just want to be friends, or a crush, and I want to be romantically involved with the person. Does anyone have any advice on figuring that out?

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Sabriel

I also find it pretty hard to tell the difference.

For me, I usually can tell by the things I imagine doing with the person - like what I want to happen. So, to take a couple celebrities to give you an example, I have a crush on Robert Pattinson 'cause I imagine myself kissing him or going on a date, whereas I have a HUGE squish on Anton Yelchin and I imagine myself talking to him, hanging out, having a laugh together etc. These are in a different category for me though because since they're celebrities I'm never realistically gonna meet them, but it would be hard to give you examples from my real life!

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AVENCakes

Hmm, I think that's part of my problem. I don't imagine myself doing anything iwth them- just that I want to spend more time iwth them, look forward to talking to them, etc. which can apply either way. Hrm. I suppose I should just assume it's a squish until I'm proved wrong- tha tmight make things easier.

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ghosts

I just call everything a crush, but anyway, mine are often kinda vague to begin with. I might have some ideas of what I'd want to do with the person, but that often comes later if some type of relationship develops.

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frozen moment
Hmm, I think that's part of my problem. I don't imagine myself doing anything iwth them- just that I want to spend more time iwth them, look forward to talking to them, etc. which can apply either way. Hrm. I suppose I should just assume it's a squish until I'm proved wrong- tha tmight make things easier.

I have exactly the same issue right now. For the moment, I'm calling it a squish. If anything changes, I might change my mind. (Also, I've had plenty of squishes before but I've never had a crush, so I think it's fairly safe for me to assume it's a squish!)

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Guest Tabula Rasa

I have a squish at the moment as well. I'm sure it won't transform into a crush.

:blush:

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veralidaine

Intense squish over here! Hopefully I'll be able to turn it into something friendship-wise

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AVENCakes
Intense squish over here! Hopefully I'll be able to turn it into something friendship-wise

I think I'll be able to turn mine into something as well. :) They seem to enjoy talking to me as well, which is always helpful. Good luck!

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veralidaine

Thanks. The biggest thing will be getting closer while still respecting boundaries. She was my high school teacher and although I've been visiting the high school to see her, the summer's coming up and I don't know how I'm going to swing that one.

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AVENCakes
Thanks. The biggest thing will be getting closer while still respecting boundaries. She was my high school teacher and although I've been visiting the high school to see her, the summer's coming up and I don't know how I'm going to swing that one.

Wow, that does sound difficult. I've never been a friend with an old teacher, it seems like k it'd be hard to deal with the dynamic and also being wary of people misinterpreting things.

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veralidaine

Yeah...I think I'd be crushed if I didn't see her in the summer though

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Jillianimal

Cool, I think I've only had squishes. Cute word, but still a little weird =/

That should be put in the lexicon thing on AVENwiki.

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Jazmin

Oh is that what they're called? Might take a while for me to get used to, it's kind of a weird word lol. In my mind I've just been referring to them as aromantic crushes.

Yeah I have one at the moment ^_^. For me, it's pretty clear it's purely non-romantic. I just think they're cool to hang around, I enjoy the conversations we have (even though they're not very frequent and are quite short whenever they do occur since I don't see the person around campus much), and I find what they have to say really interesting. But I know it's just a I-wanna-be-your-friend thing, because if I imagine being with them in a romantic situation, my brain instantly just goes No. No. Not right.

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HaqqMasta

But I know it's just a I-wanna-be-your-friend thing, because if I imagine being with them in a romantic situation, my brain instantly just goes No. No. Not right.

Don't worry mate, they'd probably be thinking the same about you too. Look at yourself* in the mirror to begin with.

*includes your face, your figure, your sex appeal, your value.

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HaqqMasta

I have a squish at the moment as well. I'm sure it won't transform into a crush.

:blush:

Good for the boy ;)

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Preskom

For me it's very easy.

I just imagine something intimate I would love to do with someone I am in love with, and imagine if it would feel natural to do it with the person...

lol, before figuring out I was asexual, a friend of mine gave me that trick, but the intimate thing he said was sex XD

Now I know better, my thing is kissing(or eating from the same plate 0-o ) ^-^

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vrazda verlaine

I spent years thinking I had crushes, but after I had a short relationship, I realized that I was aromantic and all the "crushes" I'd ever had were actually squishes...

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Stormy Wether

I think I have a crush on HaqqMasta :wub:

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Nemisor

This topic and the *SQUISH* topic made me think that maybe most of my crushes have been squishes. Hmm... :huh:

Currently having a squish (I'm sure of it) on one girl in my school. She is very dear to me, and I absolutely love talking to her, because she understands. Not wanting a relationship with her, I know it wouldn't work.

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G-Max

Given that crushes have never been well-defined to begin with, this is basically a distinction without a difference.

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KestrelWings

It makes sense to me that squish=friends, and the more familiar crush=romantic. I myself have a major squish on someone that I mistook for a crush... I didn't say anything but it felt... Awkward... So I'd say assuming it's a squish until proven otherwise can't hurt, right?

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Saxifrage

I have kind of a squish on someone who's actually a pretty good friend of mine already. Except I get all flustered around him, and hope that I don't come across as an idiot, worry vaguely about how be perceives me, etc.

Considering I'm a homoromantic asexual, this is, to say the least, kind of odd for me. <_< I don't want to date him in the least. I have a girl I'm crushing on very, very much.

You'd think this would make the squish go away, but instead I go ask him for romantic advice because he's sort of become an older brother figure.

Oh, my life. :rolleyes:

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jgm

It's so hard for me to tell the difference! I was actually thinking of starting a topic about this when I saw this one. I guess it's easier for sexuals because I assume sexual attraction is usually a factor, or just because they know they're supposed to be crushing on people of the appropriate gender and go with it. I mean, I really think "crushes" and "squishes" and what have you are self-defined, but I'm still curious about what the general consensus is among more, um, normal people. If you were (or are) a sexual person with an intense but not-at-all-sexual obsession with a person, and you weren't familiar with the term "squish," do you think you'd just call it a crush?

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CopyFox

Interesting, I've never heard of a squish until now. It's funny, my friend was just asking me something like this the other day.

I honestly think that it is different for everyone. We all experience life and emotions from the inside of our own head, and while we may be built basically the same, it's pretty obvious that people vary a LOT in the way they perceive the world. So I would say your best bet is to do a study of yourself, both retrogradely and presently. I think you'll find that, even if the difference is minut, you should be able to tell when you like someone just as a person and when you LIKE them.

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Ruth1-16

Hmm, I think I had gotten confused about what those were, exactly. So now I don't know what to call how I feel toward my best friend. *sigh* If romantic involves wanting to spend your life living with the other person, then it's a crush. If it involves "dating" or anything like that . . . then it's a squish. I just don't get the whole dating thing.

It's pretty much a really deep friendship to the point that she's the dearest person to me and I would be content sharing a place with her the rest of my life and being physically affectionate with cuddling/holding hands/backrubs but nothing remotely sexual at all. I would love to just do stuff because we think it's fun to do, but I've never gotten the whole "take you out on a date to a fancy restaurant" thing, so I can't imagine that sort of thing. But maybe that has more to do with whether I like fancy restaurants than whether I like planning fun things to do with people, lol.

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