What it feels like to be trans, genderqueer or genderless

[A-A-ron]

On 6/25/2021 at 11:41 PM, stardust628 said:

@A-A-ron, it's feeling like there should be a gender there, but there's nothing. Not just a lack of gender, but an empty hole (or void) where one should be.

That must be a really difficult experience to be living with. If I’m overstepping feel free not to answer, but would you prefer to have a set identity and is that something you’re exploring? You’re valid as the person you are but I’m new to this identity and I’d be happy to hear about your experiences if you want to share them. 🙂

[Calculations]

When someone asks me what does it feel like to be trans and i know they are cis i say what does it feel like to be cis? 

Because you dont really know you sorta just are or aren't its natural to us and at least for me its not something im intentionally thinking about on a daily baisis. 

[stardust628]

On 6/28/2021 at 6:48 AM, A-A-ron said:

That must be a really difficult experience to be living with. If I’m overstepping feel free not to answer, but would you prefer to have a set identity and is that something you’re exploring? You’re valid as the person you are but I’m new to this identity and I’d be happy to hear about your experiences if you want to share them. 🙂

Part of the reason I joined Aven was so I could talk openly and honestly with others without anyone knowing me personally. I am willing to share things here that I would not share with my friends or family, because I hope it can help others.

 

I grew up in a cis/het-normative area. I knew gay people existed, I just didn't know any (turns out I did, just didn't know it at the time). I had heard of transgender, but was even more removed from that concept. I knew about male and female and even intersex, but I didn't know people could identify as anything other than male or female. Mind, I was in college when I first had access to the internet, and at the time my studies were far more important than any self-discovery. I assumed I was cis/het because I had no reason to think otherwise.

 

In general, growing up, I never really conformed to the idea of "female." I considered myself tomboyish, but I put up with dresses and such because it was expected. As I hit adolescence, I found I had less and less in common with the other girls. As an adult, I feel I don't have much in common with either gender.

 

About a year ago, thanks to having extra time on my hands (lockdown) and my daughter coming out as bisexual, I started learning more about different genders and sexualities, and began exploring my own. Initially, I used nonbinary, but I wanted something more specific. I considered demigirl, but soon realized the only reason I partly identity as female is because I have a female body, and "female" has been assumed for over forty years. I have to strip away my physical body and observe what is left. I took a bunch of those silly online tests, "are you male or female?" and they always come out even, but low, like 15% male and 15% female. Ok, but what's the rest?

 

So then I settled on agender, which feels right, but incomplete. It really feels like I've been looking for something and found out it doesn't exist. I've only been using the term gendervoid for a couple of months, and haven't told anyone yet, so I'm still getting used to it.

 

I've gone the long way around a short stick, but to answer your question, I believe it is a set identity, and my search is over, for now at least. And I don't think it's any more or less difficult than any other nonbinary identity. It is what it is, and I'm just glad to have found a word for it.

[azaza]

I think I'm agender. I was born female but I've never identified much with it. I could say that I'm a female because I have a female body but that's it.

 

I've never liked being girly, wearing dresses and skirts. My mom sometimes had to force to wear skirts in my childhood. Currently I tolerate skirts and dresses but I'm feeling weird wearing them. I also can't stand other clothes who look too feminine. I've never used makeup or worn earrings. It feels like these things are not for me. 

 

In my childhood my mother used to say things like this "you are a girl, so you should do things like this" and I hated it. I didn't understand a difference why boys and girls should behave differently. My thought was that we are all people, so we are pretty much the same. I could imagine that if I'd be born as a male, I won't be different than I'm now. 

 

I've met one transwoman one day. She asked me how it feels to be a woman/girl. I was confused then. I didn't know how it should feel. It was quite weird for me that people can feel their genders. I think I could relate to both genders or neither of them. I usually think that all people are quite similar but other times women seem too feminine for me and men are being too masculine. 

[Rynn]

On 7/2/2021 at 3:39 PM, azaza said:

I've met one transwoman one day.

Small point of contention, 'trans' is an adjective, it is not part of the noun  

So trans woman, not transwoman.

 

  

On 7/2/2021 at 3:39 PM, azaza said:

I could imagine that if I'd be born as a male, I won't be different than I'm now. 

You may also want to look into the term cis-genderless, which is basically ^that sentence.

 

  

On 7/2/2021 at 3:39 PM, azaza said:

I've never liked being girly, wearing dresses and skirts. My mom sometimes had to force to wear skirts in my childhood. Currently I tolerate skirts and dresses but I'm feeling weird wearing them. I also can't stand other clothes who look too feminine. I've never used makeup or worn earrings. It feels like these things are not for me.

These things would fall under gender expression rather than gender identity. Your gender identity is separate from these things.

 

[Geck079]

I don't think I can wait any longer to just accept my manhood doesn't belong to me anymore, I personally don't like having a tool and coin purse, and I feel I need to be free of it for me to be able live comfortable being single and not have any physical appearance of my manhood and then I will figure out how I'm supposed to be free of sexual urges and gender requirements for wearing woman's panties and not have to explain it to anyone who's willing to ask about my sexuality being single & asexual. I were female, I'd still like seeing female beauty and I personally don't think I can see myself being in a relationship with anyone who's the same as me. I enjoy being celibate and I feel like I'm better off with my body's best form of the female gender bottom and the non-binary physical appearance of my upper body is the best way to get my childhood dream of being able to have myself being a genderless nullo female drone for the rest of my life without anything between my legs and body feels like I'm better matched with my mind. Lockdown in the world is ending My resistance to the process of getting myself being next available appointment with certified surgeons near me, but I'm rapidly searching for the cost for my orchiectomy and penectomy nullification surgery and eureathra reroute in Mexico placid way portal, and if anyone knows how I can get help with resources to be able to proceed with my desire for having a great time with finally fullfiing years old resistance for my denial to be cast aside in favor of finally prepared to get my manhood off me.

 

 

 

[A-A-ron]

On 6/29/2021 at 3:09 PM, stardust628 said:

Part of the reason I joined Aven was so I could talk openly and honestly with others without anyone knowing me personally. I am willing to share things here that I would not share with my friends or family, because I hope it can help others.

 

I grew up in a cis/het-normative area. I knew gay people existed, I just didn't know any (turns out I did, just didn't know it at the time). I had heard of transgender, but was even more removed from that concept. I knew about male and female and even intersex, but I didn't know people could identify as anything other than male or female. Mind, I was in college when I first had access to the internet, and at the time my studies were far more important than any self-discovery. I assumed I was cis/het because I had no reason to think otherwise.

 

In general, growing up, I never really conformed to the idea of "female." I considered myself tomboyish, but I put up with dresses and such because it was expected. As I hit adolescence, I found I had less and less in common with the other girls. As an adult, I feel I don't have much in common with either gender.

 

About a year ago, thanks to having extra time on my hands (lockdown) and my daughter coming out as bisexual, I started learning more about different genders and sexualities, and began exploring my own. Initially, I used nonbinary, but I wanted something more specific. I considered demigirl, but soon realized the only reason I partly identity as female is because I have a female body, and "female" has been assumed for over forty years. I have to strip away my physical body and observe what is left. I took a bunch of those silly online tests, "are you male or female?" and they always come out even, but low, like 15% male and 15% female. Ok, but what's the rest?

 

So then I settled on agender, which feels right, but incomplete. It really feels like I've been looking for something and found out it doesn't exist. I've only been using the term gendervoid for a couple of months, and haven't told anyone yet, so I'm still getting used to it.

 

I've gone the long way around a short stick, but to answer your question, I believe it is a set identity, and my search is over, for now at least. And I don't think it's any more or less difficult than any other nonbinary identity. It is what it is, and I'm just glad to have found a word for it.

I kind of understand(venting incoming). I’m happy you figured things out. 🙂 Could I ask where I might find some of those tests btw?
 

Honestly I’ve also felt like I didn’t have any other options about gender/how I express it. For most of my life I’ve seen trans people as confused or worse, and I realize I feel like my identity is fake. I feel like I’ve gone through so many years in a fog where I try to forget about how I feel and just live but I feel like I’ve lived for other people and their expectations of me and not for myself.

 

Now I’m trying to be feminine and it feels right somehow but I still feel like I need to justify my identity as a woman when I’m clearly masculine. Both to other people and maybe to myself. I’m also just realizing how depressed I am about myself and my body but I don’t feel that way all the time so maybe I should stop being selfish and just give it up. I don’t even trust my emotions and feelings about myself anymore. I’m too afraid to talk about it or express myself before I know for sure because my family won’t accept it and I doubt anyone else will either. In my home town or where I work. I can’t even say the words to my therapist.

[little rae of sunshine]

I keep telling myself to just say I'm a girl to make it easier for myself but obviously I keep thinking about it.my family could never understand anything other than male or female. I don't feel like I know anyone that is 100% a gender or enough to firmly claim one( cis or trans) because anyone I talk to understands my confusion it seem like most people just accepted what they were born as and some decided against it. I don't really understand and it's getting annoying

[Guest]

just kinda fuckin' sucks to he honest. id prefer not to have a mental breakdown every shark week. sharks are so much cooler than shark week

[little rae of sunshine]

My mom wanted me to try on dresses today and I want to throw up and cry at the same time... Idk what to think anymore

[a little annihilation]

It feels yucky to be honest. I'd love to be cis and not have to worry about gender, because as an afab I still have to worry just as much about predators as cis women do, but with another level of discomfort because I do not even want to have female characteristic at all. It's like a deep seeded feeling of discomfort. And I am getting really really tired of being misgendered.

[Tigertiger]

On 6/29/2021 at 9:09 PM, stardust628 said:

Part of the reason I joined Aven was so I could talk openly and honestly with others without anyone knowing me personally. I am willing to share things here that I would not share with my friends or family, because I hope it can help others.

Me to

 

I joined just a while a go to have a place to talk about stuff. My friends know, but my family does not so this is where I live out my "secret" identity. When I am on here I feel ok. In real life I do not look much in the mirror. I just imagine I look like this:

 

 

I do not.

I do not even have a binder. I hate wearing them. All I have is my dream that I one day will get top surgery.

[Zagadka]

Just gonna rant/vent.

 

For me, this is more than about not feeling any connection to AGAB... I actively hate it, it is just wrong for me, I cringe when referred to or seen that way, but the other binary just doesn't seem right. Better, yes, but still not something I'd look at as a transition or a goal. So... mostly stuck without knowing where to go, but hating where I am. So in general, incredibly frustrating and depressing.

[BookNerd1220]

This might be confusing. I'm a cisgender female. I also feel 100% comfortable with my gender. It feels like the outside me fits perfectly with the inside me.

[ryuuakus]

for me, i've been 'playing around' with gender labels for over a year now before landing on trans boy, and sexuality even longer. some time last year i started learning more about dysphoria and transness and i kinda just realized..oh..im not cis. if im being completely honest, i both love and hate being trans. i hate always being seen as my agab due to my lack of access to hormones, but i also see it as apart of myself, the good and the bad. it gives me a sense of normalcy, because if nothing else is consistent, at least i have my transness? i think that makes sense. that being said, i hate a lot of the stuff that comes along with it. i hate the discrimination, dysphoria, and knowing that most of my family will never accept that part of me, especially knowing that ive been the 'golden child' my whole life. 

[Sebastian The Bat]

On 7/2/2021 at 6:39 AM, azaza said:

I think I'm agender. I was born female but I've never identified much with it. I could say that I'm a female because I have a female body but that's it.

 

I've never liked being girly, wearing dresses and skirts. My mom sometimes had to force to wear skirts in my childhood. Currently I tolerate skirts and dresses but I'm feeling weird wearing them. I also can't stand other clothes who look too feminine. I've never used makeup or worn earrings. It feels like these things are not for me. 

 

In my childhood my mother used to say things like this "you are a girl, so you should do things like this" and I hated it. I didn't understand a difference why boys and girls should behave differently. My thought was that we are all people, so we are pretty much the same. I could imagine that if I'd be born as a male, I won't be different than I'm now. 

 

I've met one transwoman one day. She asked me how it feels to be a woman/girl. I was confused then. I didn't know how it should feel. It was quite weird for me that people can feel their genders. I think I could relate to both genders or neither of them. I usually think that all people are quite similar but other times women seem too feminine for me and men are being too masculine. 

That is pretty much how I feel. When I first started questioning my identity I tried on the agender label and I was not sure how to feel about it. I was also worried about over stepping my bounds in the trans and non-binary community. I have grown more mature and have come to a few realizations over the years. Agender is the label that feels right to me now that I have found more ways to explain my feelings in relation to gender and the lack thereof. Although, there are still facets to my identity that I feel are more complicated to define but I have come to the realization that those facets are hard to define because I am agender. 

[KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty]

It makes me feel a great sense of freedom, like I've been let out of a box I've been unknowingly stuck in most of my life. 

[Itsa me a person]

For me it's looking deep inside myself and not feeling a connection or feeling like any gender. Or like I'm an empty void or something. I hope that makes sense. 

[Sebastian The Bat]

On 12/15/2021 at 2:59 PM, Itsa me a person said:

For me it's looking deep inside myself and not feeling a connection or feeling like any gender. Or like I'm an empty void or something. I hope that makes sense. 

This makes a lot of sense. I recently had a discussion with a friend on how we both view gender and our experiences with it. I would like to share with you and anyone else reading this thread a bit of what I told my friend.

 

"I have no gender. Gender is so many things at once. There is no real definition of gender. There is no true way to define gender. Gender is everything and nothing at once. For me, gender is an absent, ongoing void. And for some people their gender *is* the void. Gender is so meaningless and yet so personal at the same time. I have no gender. My gender is just simply gone. I think that maybe in this imaginary void that “is” my gender I tried to put something inside of it but it just didn’t work out because my gender is a vast, meaningless void that is *meant* to be empty, bleak and continuous."

 

I admit that re-reading it now, it does seem a bit bleak and sad almost? That's not what I'm trying to come off as though.

 

Another way I would describe my experience would be to compare it to being given a box (or any container) when you are born. This box does not represent my sex or gender, if anything it represents my mind, maybe my body and possibly how I present/express myself. Inside the box is supposed to be my gender but for me personally, my box is empty, you can look inside and see nothing. This box can also be as big or small and made out of anything, this box does not abide to the rules of physics and reality. Now, maybe with this fictional box-gender-container-analogy this box for some people can be varying levels of transparent and opaque. Personally, my box is like looking through frosted glass or one of those tv rocks that you can sort of see through. When thinking of this fictional box I imagine that I can not distinguish any fine details or objects that lay on the other side of it, only muted colors and varying levels of light.

 

To further push this analogy and piggy back off of my other analogy, at many points in time I have tried many labels that have not worked out for me at all and some that have seemed to fit for a certain amount of time or seems to fit for the most part but seems off for some reason. I think that this can be compared to putting something in the box, this something would be a label or my gender, my perception of my gender, ect. After doing so I can either not or barely distinguish what is inside of my box because of the frosted glass like nature of the box or something feels off and I cant exactly put my finger on it. After taking out whatever was in the box I feel better and to me personally, I feel as though accepting that I feel better without anything in the box is me accepting that I am agender and that label feels the best to me. And maybe I'm not just accepting the agender label but the fact that because this box is like frosted glass, sometimes the muted colors I can distinguish can make it look like there's something in my box when there really isn't. And maybe that is a facet or characteristic of my agender identity. 

 

I do really like the idea of comparing the agender label and experience as having a void, container, space, area of land, sea or sky with the potential to have something there but its just empty. Anyone can feel free to use this analogy and add to if they would like to, I love hearing about others experiences.

[Itsa me a person]

2 hours ago, Sebastian The Bat said:

This makes a lot of sense. I recently had a discussion with a friend on how we both view gender and our experiences with it. I would like to share with you and anyone else reading this thread a bit of what I told my friend.

 

"I have no gender. Gender is so many things at once. There is no real definition of gender. There is no true way to define gender. Gender is everything and nothing at once. For me, gender is an absent, ongoing void. And for some people their gender *is* the void. Gender is so meaningless and yet so personal at the same time. I have no gender. My gender is just simply gone. I think that maybe in this imaginary void that “is” my gender I tried to put something inside of it but it just didn’t work out because my gender is a vast, meaningless void that is *meant* to be empty, bleak and continuous."

 

I admit that re-reading it now, it does seem a bit bleak and sad almost? That's not what I'm trying to come off as though.

 

Another way I would describe my experience would be to compare it to being given a box (or any container) when you are born. This box does not represent my sex or gender, if anything it represents my mind, maybe my body and possibly how I present/express myself. Inside the box is supposed to be my gender but for me personally, my box is empty, you can look inside and see nothing. This box can also be as big or small and made out of anything, this box does not abide to the rules of physics and reality. Now, maybe with this fictional box-gender-container-analogy this box for some people can be varying levels of transparent and opaque. Personally, my box is like looking through frosted glass or one of those tv rocks that you can sort of see through. When thinking of this fictional box I imagine that I can not distinguish any fine details or objects that lay on the other side of it, only muted colors and varying levels of light.

 

To further push this analogy and piggy back off of my other analogy, at many points in time I have tried many labels that have not worked out for me at all and some that have seemed to fit for a certain amount of time or seems to fit for the most part but seems off for some reason. I think that this can be compared to putting something in the box, this something would be a label or my gender, my perception of my gender, ect. After doing so I can either not or barely distinguish what is inside of my box because of the frosted glass like nature of the box or something feels off and I cant exactly put my finger on it. After taking out whatever was in the box I feel better and to me personally, I feel as though accepting that I feel better without anything in the box is me accepting that I am agender and that label feels the best to me. And maybe I'm not just accepting the agender label but the fact that because this box is like frosted glass, sometimes the muted colors I can distinguish can make it look like there's something in my box when there really isn't. And maybe that is a facet or characteristic of my agender identity. 

 

I do really like the idea of comparing the agender label and experience as having a void, container, space, area of land, sea or sky with the potential to have something there but its just empty. Anyone can feel free to use this analogy and add to if they would like to, I love hearing about others experiences.

I don’t know why I like this so much but I do 

such a beautiful and sorta poetic way to put it 

[Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet]

.

[Maruni]

Well tbh I don't even feel my gender unless in certain situations. I'm greygender, im a female and agender. Not everyone who is greygender is female and agender. I just feel human/myself. 

[AudryLeigh]

I don't think it's possible to explain what it is/feels like to be trans. It's like being in combat -- unless you have experienced it you can never "know" or truly "understand" what it's really like. When I get asked what it's like I just say, "I'm a woman. I feel like a woman." Now, can somebody tell me what it "feels like" to be a man, or what it "feels like" to be a woman? No? (Didn't think so.) I was a man for many decades (thought I was anyway, and so did the entire Federal Law Enforcement establishment) -- i've been a woman now for well over a decade. I can tell you that there is a profound difference, but I can't even begin to describe what it is. "Women are more emotional." Hogwash. I've known plenty of men who were very emotional. "Men are tougher." I guess you've never seen Italian girls in a streetfight. "Women are delicate." GOOGLE Brittney Griner. "Men don't cry." Ref. General Colin Powell: "I would never trust a man who couldn't cry." (From an interview on the battlefield during the first Gulf War.) "Women don't pee standing up." When I lived in Illinois, it was kind of a "thing" for farm boys to see who could pee the farthest up on the barn wall. My girlfriend always won those contests. "Men can't have babies." OK, ya' got me there.

 

Hugs,

Audry Leigh

[yellowii]

On 2/17/2022 at 1:42 AM, AudryLeigh said:

I don't think it's possible to explain what it is/feels like to be trans. It's like being in combat -- unless you have experienced it you can never "know" or truly "understand" what it's really like. When I get asked what it's like I just say, "I'm a woman. I feel like a woman." Now, can somebody tell me what it "feels like" to be a man, or what it "feels like" to be a woman? No? (Didn't think so.) I was a man for many decades (thought I was anyway, and so did the entire Federal Law Enforcement establishment) -- i've been a woman now for well over a decade. I can tell you that there is a profound difference, but I can't even begin to describe what it is. "Women are more emotional." Hogwash. I've known plenty of men who were very emotional. "Men are tougher." I guess you've never seen Italian girls in a streetfight. "Women are delicate." GOOGLE Brittney Griner. "Men don't cry." Ref. General Colin Powell: "I would never trust a man who couldn't cry." (From an interview on the battlefield during the first Gulf War.) "Women don't pee standing up." When I lived in Illinois, it was kind of a "thing" for farm boys to see who could pee the farthest up on the barn wall. My girlfriend always won those contests. "Men can't have babies." OK, ya' got me there.

 

Hugs,

Audry Leigh

What was her technique for peeing up the barn wall?

[alex_likes_frogs]

I'm a genderfluid person trapped in a female body.

[AudryLeigh]

17 hours ago, yellowii said:

What was her technique for peeing up the barn wall?

I'm not sure of the details. She'd just drop her panties and lift her skirt, lean back and then "take things in hand" and let 'er rip. She had to stand closer to the wall than the boys, and produced a thinner stream, but had plenty of pressure. I've known quite a few girls who would pee standing up when doing things out of doors, like hiking, fishing, etc. If you GOOGLE "girls how to pee standing up" you'll find several articles that describe the technique.

 

Hugs,

Audry Leigh

 

[AudryLeigh]

17 hours ago, alex_likes_frogs said:

I'm a genderfluid person trapped in a female body.

Pardon my ignorance, but I'm trying to gain a better understanding of non-binary gender. Are you saying (alex) that your true sex is Male, and that your gender is fluid? All of the trans people I'm familiar with have transitioned medically (i.e. they are receiving hormone therapy), and all of them have a binary gender (Male or Female). I transitioned socially over 11 years ago, and have been on hormone therapy for 6 years, so I'm familiar with both transgender and transsexual issues, but I'm old and when I was growing up (50s and 60s) I don't think the word "gender" was even in the dictionary. I knew that gay men existed but didn't actually meet one until after I graduated from High School. Back then, gay women weren't talked about -- at all. There was, however, a widely held belief (among my peers) that there were more than just a few housewives who would do their housework in the morning, and then spend the rest of the day at a neighbor lady's house. Nobody ever said "gay," but we assumed there were "relationships" going on -- but gay women were never talked about. In the early 50s George Jorgensen went to Europe and came back Christine Jorgensen, so we knew about sex reassignment surgery (through the topic quickly faded into oblivion), but there was no hormone therapy at the time. Anyway, the concept of gender is [relatively] new to me, and I want to understand it more than I currently do. Having gone from being male to being female, I understand the binary genders, but have a hard time understanding all the non-binary gender variants that now exist (are there really 60 of them?). I have no issues with non-binary people, and totally accept that non-binary genders do exist (though I do wonder where all the non-binary people were when I was growing up), but have a bit of trouble comprehending things like being a boy trapped in a girl's body (which to me says that their sex is male) while having a fluid gender. My [probably incomplete or maybe inaccurate] understanding of gender fluidity is that it is someone who moves around on the gender spectrum, moving back and forth between the female part of the spectrum and the male part of the spectrum -- sometimes feeling more like a boy, sometimes more like a girl, and sometimes androgynous. It is true (i.e., widely accepted by professionals) that sex and gender are entirely separate and independent of each other, but in my world it seems like in order to be trapped in the "wrong" body, one's gender would be the opposite of what was assumed at birth, and therefore binary. If one's gender changes, it seems to me their biological sex would sometimes fit and sometimes not, but changing it would just be switching the times when their gender was in alignment with their sex and times when it was not. Anyway, I'm sure I'm missing something(s), or have something(s) wrong, and I'd appreciate any clarification anyone can offer. Please no hate though -- this is strictly honest and respectful curiosity.

 

Hugs,

Audry Leigh

[alex_likes_frogs]

2 hours ago, AudryLeigh said:

Pardon my ignorance, but I'm trying to gain a better understanding of non-binary gender. Are you saying (alex) that your true sex is Male, and that your gender is fluid? All of the trans people I'm familiar with have transitioned medically (i.e. they are receiving hormone therapy), and all of them have a binary gender (Male or Female). I transitioned socially over 11 years ago, and have been on hormone therapy for 6 years, so I'm familiar with both transgender and transsexual issues, but I'm old and when I was growing up (50s and 60s) I don't think the word "gender" was even in the dictionary. I knew that gay men existed but didn't actually meet one until after I graduated from High School. Back then, gay women weren't talked about -- at all. There was, however, a widely held belief (among my peers) that there were more than just a few housewives who would do their housework in the morning, and then spend the rest of the day at a neighbor lady's house. Nobody ever said "gay," but we assumed there were "relationships" going on -- but gay women were never talked about. In the early 50s George Jorgensen went to Europe and came back Christine Jorgensen, so we knew about sex reassignment surgery (through the topic quickly faded into oblivion), but there was no hormone therapy at the time. Anyway, the concept of gender is [relatively] new to me, and I want to understand it more than I currently do. Having gone from being male to being female, I understand the binary genders, but have a hard time understanding all the non-binary gender variants that now exist (are there really 60 of them?). I have no issues with non-binary people, and totally accept that non-binary genders do exist (though I do wonder where all the non-binary people were when I was growing up), but have a bit of trouble comprehending things like being a boy trapped in a girl's body (which to me says that their sex is male) while having a fluid gender. My [probably incomplete or maybe inaccurate] understanding of gender fluidity is that it is someone who moves around on the gender spectrum, moving back and forth between the female part of the spectrum and the male part of the spectrum -- sometimes feeling more like a boy, sometimes more like a girl, and sometimes androgynous. It is true (i.e., widely accepted by professionals) that sex and gender are entirely separate and independent of each other, but in my world it seems like in order to be trapped in the "wrong" body, one's gender would be the opposite of what was assumed at birth, and therefore binary. If one's gender changes, it seems to me their biological sex would sometimes fit and sometimes not, but changing it would just be switching the times when their gender was in alignment with their sex and times when it was not. Anyway, I'm sure I'm missing something(s), or have something(s) wrong, and I'd appreciate any clarification anyone can offer. Please no hate though -- this is strictly honest and respectful curiosity.

 

Hugs,

Audry Leigh

I was born female but my gender identity fluctuates and changes constantly. At times I feel no dysphoria but other times I feel slight or an extreme amount. I personally believe nonbinary people are as much transgender as people who are trans binary, although I am only a minor and don't know a lot about the logistics. Genderfluidity is different for every person!

[Rin G. Ito]

I'm a non binary person who's trapped in an overly feminine curvy-ish body, with what I like to call two set of meatballs on my chest. I have a body that actively pushes against the person I'd like to be, which led me to some unhealthy eating practices but my family thankfully makes sure I don't go too far or starve myself. I'm also confusion because I don't swing either way, I don't like breasts, but I'm not also longing for a d*ck. 

[MusicSoul]

This whole gender talk still confuses me at times. I recently posted a thread about my own gender lol so this is kind of refreshing. I realize we live in a society that is very black and white on the subject of gender. There are so many “labels” for gender or lack of gender, etc. that it is overwhelming for me. I think I would rather just keep it simple so for me personally I would say the following: I was born a female; however, I suppose I would call myself a versandrogyne ? Or maybe bigender? Or genderfluid? It’s rather confusing to be honest lol.