Guest member25959 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 I was just wondering, there are plenty of jokes about sexual...things, so are there any jokes about or regarding asexuals, or asexuality? Such as: My computer is asexual, it has no sex drive Link to post Share on other sites
Aimeendfire Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 how many asexuals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...actually..not sure how it goes :lol: something about "we dont screw" -fails :P Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 How can you tell an asexual designed a street? "The not enter signs at all intersections." Link to post Share on other sites
andyb1648 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 how many asexuals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What about "Actually they'd really rather not." ? Link to post Share on other sites
Anti-stud Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Lets see if I can type a joke. Guy 1: Nice bicycle man. Is it new? Where'd you get it? Guy 2: Dude, the weirdest thing. I was just walking down the street and this very attractive woman on a bike stopped in front of me, dropped the bike, stripped naked and said: "Take whatever you want big boy" Guy 1: Good call. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. ...I don't like typing out jokes. It messes with the delivery :( And I can't do voices and impressions and such. Fail. Link to post Share on other sites
pawprint prettysure Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Lets see if I can type a joke.Guy 1: Nice bicycle man. Is it new? Where'd you get it? Guy 2: Dude, the weirdest thing. I was just walking down the street and this very attractive woman on a bike stopped in front of me, stripped naked and said: "Take whatever you want bog boy" Guy 1: Good call. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. ...I don't like typing out jokes. It messes with the delivery :( And I can't do voices and impressions and such. Fail. I thought that was pretty funny :P I can imagine the voices and impressions Link to post Share on other sites
mort paradis Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Lets see if I can type a joke.Guy 1: Nice bicycle man. Is it new? Where'd you get it? Guy 2: Dude, the weirdest thing. I was just walking down the street and this very attractive woman on a bike stopped in front of me, stripped naked and said: "Take whatever you want bog boy" Guy 1: Good call. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. ...I don't like typing out jokes. It messes with the delivery :( And I can't do voices and impressions and such. Fail. XD that's great! Link to post Share on other sites
kdat Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 I only know this one liner I got from a friend: "I wish my homework was asexual so it would do itself" --but that's not really asexuality is it? I still find it hilarious though... Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 "I wish my homework was asexual so it would do itself" --but that's not really asexuality is it? I still find it hilarious though... Whenever I hear that one I like to respond, "If your homework was asexual it would multiply." Link to post Share on other sites
Sean of Cydonia Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Whenever I hear that one I like to respond, "If your homework was asexual it would multiply." Yeah, wouldn't that be a more apt description for autosexual than asexual? Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Whenever I hear that one I like to respond, "If your homework was asexual it would multiply." Yeah, wouldn't that be a more apt description for autosexual than asexual? Not if you're talking about asexual reproduction, which is what the original joke is about. Link to post Share on other sites
inter\m/ent Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Lets see if I can type a joke.Guy 1: Nice bicycle man. Is it new? Where'd you get it? Guy 2: Dude, the weirdest thing. I was just walking down the street and this very attractive woman on a bike stopped in front of me, stripped naked and said: "Take whatever you want bog boy" Guy 1: Good call. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. ...I don't like typing out jokes. It messes with the delivery :( And I can't do voices and impressions and such. Fail. :lol: pretty good but the regular joe would think it's a gay one. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlieee Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Lets see if I can type a joke.Guy 1: Nice bicycle man. Is it new? Where'd you get it? Guy 2: Dude, the weirdest thing. I was just walking down the street and this very attractive woman on a bike stopped in front of me, stripped naked and said: "Take whatever you want bog boy" Guy 1: Good call. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. ...I don't like typing out jokes. It messes with the delivery :( And I can't do voices and impressions and such. Fail. :lol: pretty good but the regular joe would think it's a gay one. Degender the person on the bike? Say it's a very attractive person instead. Then the listener can't make an assumption about Guy 2 being the "opposite" sexuality.... Link to post Share on other sites
The MoUsY spell-checker Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Guy 1: Nice bicycle man. Is it new? Where'd you get it?Guy 2: Dude, the weirdest thing. I was just walking down the street and this very attractive woman on a bike stopped in front of me, stripped naked and said: "Take whatever you want bog boy" Guy 1: Good call. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. I've heard of this one as an engineer joke. That is, both guys are engineers. xD :lol: pretty good but the regular joe would think it's a gay one. Degender the person on the bike? Say it's a very attractive person instead. Then the listener can't make an assumption about Guy 2 being the "opposite" sexuality.... I suppose one can even say that the last line implies that the guy would've taken the clothes if they fit (therefore making it a cross-dresser joke)? Link to post Share on other sites
Charlieee Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 :lol: pretty good but the regular joe would think it's a gay one. Degender the person on the bike? Say it's a very attractive person instead. Then the listener can't make an assumption about Guy 2 being the "opposite" sexuality.... I suppose one can even say that the last line implies that the guy would've taken the clothes if they fit (therefore making it a cross-dresser joke)? Yeah, that works, too. :) Here's one: Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the person who came up to zir and started flirting. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarahmarie Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Why did the chicken cross the road?To escape the person who came up to zir and started flirting. ROTFL!! That is perfect. :lol: Thank you for brightening my day. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlieee Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Why did the chicken cross the road?To escape the person who came up to zir and started flirting. ROTFL!! That is perfect. :lol: Thank you for brightening my day. Hahaha, you're welcome, I glad you liked it. I didn't think it was much. XD Link to post Share on other sites
Anti-stud Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Guy 1: Nice bicycle man. Is it new? Where'd you get it?Guy 2: Dude, the weirdest thing. I was just walking down the street and this very attractive woman on a bike stopped in front of me, stripped naked and said: "Take whatever you want bog boy" Guy 1: Good call. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. I've heard of this one as an engineer joke. That is, both guys are engineers. xD That's actually how I heard it originally as well, but thought it was actually more apt for us ;) Perfect for me though...being both asexual AND an engineer :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Many of those engineer jokes will work. Link to post Share on other sites
The MoUsY spell-checker Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Perfect for me though...being both asexual AND an engineer :lol: Yay for us asexual engineers! xD (Well, I'm still at uni, but I'll get there.) Link to post Share on other sites
wolfgurl24 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Ok, everyone finish this sentence, as I'm not feeling that creative today: Two Asexuals walk into a bar....... 8) Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Matilda Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Ok, everyone finish this sentence, as I'm not feeling that creative today:Two Asexuals walk into a bar....... 8) OUCH. OUCH. Link to post Share on other sites
sonofzeal Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Ok, everyone finish this sentence, as I'm not feeling that creative today:Two Asexuals walk into a bar....... 8) .....the bartender says "good evening, ladies and germs".... Link to post Share on other sites
SlightlyMetaphysical Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Fish, this is THE lightbulb joke: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?sho...ic=30914&hl It's more about AVENites than asexuals, though. Guy 1: Nice bicycle man. Is it new? Where'd you get it?Guy 2: Dude, the weirdest thing. I was just walking down the street and this very attractive woman on a bike stopped in front of me, stripped naked and said: "Take whatever you want bog boy" Guy 1: Good call. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. I've heard of this one as an engineer joke. That is, both guys are engineers. xD :lol: pretty good but the regular joe would think it's a gay one. Degender the person on the bike? Say it's a very attractive person instead. Then the listener can't make an assumption about Guy 2 being the "opposite" sexuality.... I suppose one can even say that the last line implies that the guy would've taken the clothes if they fit (therefore making it a cross-dresser joke)? <_< Something about the relentless and analytical literalness of the average asexual (or should that be AVENite) makes our jokes turn into debates... Link to post Share on other sites
Charlieee Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Ok, everyone finish this sentence, as I'm not feeling that creative today:Two Asexuals walk into a bar....... 8) .....the bartender says "good evening, ladies and germs".... ....they sit down on two stools at the bar and look at the selection of drinks.... <_< Something about the relentless and analytical literalness of the average asexual (or should that be AVENite) makes our jokes turn into debates... XD I love this forum. Link to post Share on other sites
M.H. Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 this actually came out of a conversation that i had with one of my friends who's a sexual i was trying (pathetically) to tell the joke: guy 1: Bob is asexual guy 2: a sexual what? *note i just used a random name* in any case... she says: a sexual nympho (nymphamaniac) me: what? her: a sexual nympho me: asexual nympho...that doesn't make sense her: not asexual...a sexual...what would an asexual nympho be? me: idk...somebody who masturbates a lot? bad taste...i'm sure...but it was a funny conversation...i swear! probably had to be there Link to post Share on other sites
sonofzeal Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 Ok, everyone finish this sentence, as I'm not feeling that creative today:Two Asexuals walk into a bar....... 8) .....the bartender says "good evening, ladies and germs".... ....they sit down on two stools at the bar and look at the selection of drinks.... You've lost me. =P Link to post Share on other sites
TheMadcapLaughs Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 Ok, everyone finish this sentence, as I'm not feeling that creative today:Two Asexuals walk into a bar....... 8) .....the bartender says "good evening, ladies and germs".... ....they sit down on two stools at the bar and look at the selection of drinks.... You've lost me. =P We must set out on an expedition to find her! ...it had to be said Link to post Share on other sites
wolfgurl24 Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 Ok, everyone finish this sentence, as I'm not feeling that creative today:Two Asexuals walk into a bar....... 8) .....the bartender says "good evening, ladies and germs".... ....they sit down on two stools at the bar and look at the selection of drinks.... You've lost me. =P I honestly have no idea anymore, so don't ask me... ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
veralidaine Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 You've lost me. =P We must set out on an expedition to find her! ...it had to be said HAHAHAHA, that was too brilliant Link to post Share on other sites
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