If you're not gay, you're straight

[AVENCakes]

I'm sure people have seen something like this- but it annoys the hell out of me. There was some magazine, I think "MIND" that had an issue on sex. Including a "shocking new finding" that, brace yourselves- those with weak hearts may want to leave the room because this is a big shock- Sexual orientation isn't a choice. Shocking, I know. I only read this because I was hoping to see something about asexuality. No such luck.

Including this delightful test of "How gay are you". The summary is: "Are you in any way sexually attracted to teh same sex?" "Um.... same sex or same gender because---" "Shut up, we don't acknowledge transpeople" "okay.... No, I haven't" "You're straight" "But I haven't experienced any sexual attracti--" "If you're not gay you're straight". *groans*

I shouldn't be surprised. They kept going on about how sexuality is a spectrum or continuum- I guess it was educating about how gay people need to stop being persecuted. but a little visibility would be nice. Not that you can expect much with a story on the explosive fireworks of orgasms. But it's still annoying as heck- because that's hwo people think. A handful of questions on "Are you attracted to the opposite sex?" would've been nice. What about people who are bi and are attracted to/fantasize about/had sexual experiences with both? (I'm ignoring pan because, as I said, they don't acknowledge transpeople)

I also saw a quiz once that had "straight, bicurious straight, bisexual or anallophillic (asexual), bicurious gay, gay" as the options. That's right- bi and ase were crammed together, and they used this completely bizarre term that I only knew because someone suggested we call ourselves analloerotic, and I still had to look up. >_< Why is this so hard for people?

[ProdeFemme]

Analloerotic! That's the word I was looking for in another post!

Anyway, yea sometimes it's frustrating to see stuff like that, but I try to just shrug it off and think 'sometimes I have to be the one in the you-can-please-all-the-poeple-all-the-time'. Not that I particularly like it, but you get what I mean. It's my fleeting attempt at optimism I guess *shrug* :lol:

[AVENCakes]

It could be worse. I think my biggest annoyance with this was that it ignored everything that wasn't gay or straight- I thought we were past that and understand there was at least one (bisexual) in the middle.

[ProdeFemme]

I thought we were past that and understand there was at least one (bisexual) in the middle.

Sadly I think we are still quite far from this. Some people just refuse to open their minds <_<

[Sally]

Analloerotic! That's the word I was looking for in another post!

Gahhhhhhh! I know that's meant as "allo" -- "other" (or I think) But it's so close to analerotic! Well, it really isn't, but..

Oh well.

[Astryda]

People are narrow minded not only when it comes to sexual orientation. Very often they refuse accepting facts, even if there's a proof for them. They have their own 'opinions' and 'beliefs', we can do nothing about it, at least until they 'become mature enough' to accept the truth, but we can stick with people who know 'what's going on' and try to educate those who want to listen.

[Guest DiscoBison]

Analloerotic! That's the word I was looking for in another post!

Gahhhhhhh! I know that's meant as "allo" -- "other" (or I think) But it's so close to analerotic! Well, it really isn't, but..

Oh well.

That's exactly what I thought , Sally ... I can just imagine trying to introduce that as a new term to some of my charming but sadly immature friends!

[ProdeFemme]

Analloerotic! That's the word I was looking for in another post!

Gahhhhhhh! I know that's meant as "allo" -- "other" (or I think) But it's so close to analerotic! Well, it really isn't, but..

Oh well.

Hahaha! Yea I know, I see that too. Luckily (as we, well I know I, debated before) it means an undirected sex drive, not the absence of one, so it not interchangeable with asexuality. You needn't worry about seeing the labels change anytime soon ;)

[Sciatrix]

Analloerotic! That's the word I was looking for in another post!

Gahhhhhhh! I know that's meant as "allo" -- "other" (or I think) But it's so close to analerotic! Well, it really isn't, but..

Oh well.

Oh, wow--I parse words pretty much automatically, and I parsed that one wrong, too. And I do know the allo prefix, but your average Joe probably doesn't. Wow, that is a horrible, horrible name.

I have this deep hope that as bisexuals gain more acceptance in society, asexuals will seem less weird to the mainstream because sexuality won't be seen quite as either/or. Of course, I'm probably wrong.

[AVENCakes]

I have this deep hope that as bisexuals gain more acceptance in society, asexuals will seem less weird to the mainstream because sexuality won't be seen quite as either/or. Of course, I'm probably wrong.

I hope so as well. Or at least that people will stop assuming asexuals are gay. :/

[Sibylla-Vana]

"Anallophilic" and "analloerotic" are horrible-sounding words. I would rather identify as a flesh-eating zombie.

[Sarahmarie]

"Anallophilic" and "analloerotic" are horrible-sounding words. I would rather identify as a flesh-eating zombie.

LOL -- both terms need to be left to the academic specialists who work with their theories. Imagine introducing yourself to someone (like at a party) as "Hi --I'm anallophilic?" Outside of psychology (or psychiatry), I see that line as a guranteed conversation killer.

Come to think about it, I rather like the "flesh-eating zombie" idea as an identificaiton.

[madammina]

me: Hi, I'm a flesh eating Zombie.

everyone : runs.

But on DA I saw a meme where you talked about yourself. They had gay straight and bi, maybe Trans. No A. I was mad.

[Jibun]

I'm sure people have seen something like this- but it annoys the hell out of me. There was some magazine, I think "MIND" that had an issue on sex. Including a "shocking new finding" that, brace yourselves- those with weak hearts may want to leave the room because this is a big shock- Sexual orientation isn't a choice. Shocking, I know. I only read this because I was hoping to see something about asexuality. No such luck.

Including this delightful test of "How gay are you". The summary is: "Are you in any way sexually attracted to teh same sex?" "Um.... same sex or same gender because---" "Shut up, we don't acknowledge transpeople" "okay.... No, I haven't" "You're straight" "But I haven't experienced any sexual attracti--" "If you're not gay you're straight". *groans*

I shouldn't be surprised. They kept going on about how sexuality is a spectrum or continuum- I guess it was educating about how gay people need to stop being persecuted. but a little visibility would be nice. Not that you can expect much with a story on the explosive fireworks of orgasms. But it's still annoying as heck- because that's hwo people think. A handful of questions on "Are you attracted to the opposite sex?" would've been nice. What about people who are bi and are attracted to/fantasize about/had sexual experiences with both? (I'm ignoring pan because, as I said, they don't acknowledge transpeople)

I also saw a quiz once that had "straight, bicurious straight, bisexual or anallophillic (asexual), bicurious gay, gay" as the options. That's right- bi and ase were crammed together, and they used this completely bizarre term that I only knew because someone suggested we call ourselves analloerotic, and I still had to look up. >_< Why is this so hard for people?

If you feel it's worth the effort you could try writing to them. It sounds like they were trying to be open minded when they wrote that article, they just happened to be incredibly, disturbingly behind. Considering what I imagine their target audience would be like, they were probably trying to give a positive message to a not-so-open-minded audience, so maybe they should be educated on where they were wrong so they can do a better job of it in future. I'd imagine you'd get a good response if you wrote to them.

Then again, they're probably not worth the effort. :/

[MildlyFacetious]

Would Asexuality be an appropriate endpoint for a sexuality spectrum(going from asexuality, to homo/heterosexuality and ending at bisexuality)? I ask because I've never really considered asexuality to be a form of sexuality, in the same way I don't consider atheism a form of religious belief.

[mystylegreater]

Would Asexuality be an appropriate endpoint for a sexuality spectrum(going from asexuality, to homo/heterosexuality and ending at bisexuality)? I ask because I've never really considered asexuality to be a form of sexuality, in the same way I don't consider atheism a form of religious belief.

i think so. if we consider asexuality to be an orientation, it would fall somewhere within the spectrum of sexuality... being a "sexual orientation."

[AVENCakes]

Would Asexuality be an appropriate endpoint for a sexuality spectrum(going from asexuality, to homo/heterosexuality and ending at bisexuality)? I ask because I've never really considered asexuality to be a form of sexuality, in the same way I don't consider atheism a form of religious belief.

Asexuality---------------Monosexuality------------bisexuality------------pansexuality sort of?

[Guest (?)]

I feel that for the 99% they do not worry about the sub groups...why should they..for them you either stick a penis in a hole or a tongue..it is that basic

In the same way we feel we are born this way the 99% do not have to think to much about thier sexuality because it is the way they are and because they do not feel there are no other options many do not explore other ways.

We have a long way to go

[Hallucigenia]

I feel that for the 99% they do not worry about the sub groups...why should they..for them you either stick a penis in a hole or a tongue..it is that basic

In the same way we feel we are born this way the 99% do not have to think to much about thier sexuality because it is the way they are and because they do not feel there are no other options many do not explore other ways.

We have a long way to go

In a way, this is a good example of an "ace moment". Maybe there are some sexuals for whom it is that basic, but all the sexual people I know have done a good deal of thinking about their sexuality. (And no, I don't mean "rawr, she's hot" type thinking, I mean actually trying to figure out about themselves and how they work in that arena.) It just isn't usually the same kind of "OMG I am a thing that doesn't exist!" type thinking that, regrettably, often happens for asexuals.

And, as someone else pointed out, the "if you're not gay, you're straight" kind of thinking is just as offensive to bisexuals as it is to asexuals.

[One (Alister)]

I'm sure people have seen something like this- but it annoys the hell out of me. There was some magazine, I think "MIND" that had an issue on sex. Including a "shocking new finding" that, brace yourselves- those with weak hearts may want to leave the room because this is a big shock- Sexual orientation isn't a choice. Shocking, I know. I only read this because I was hoping to see something about asexuality. No such luck.

Including this delightful test of "How gay are you". The summary is: "Are you in any way sexually attracted to teh same sex?" "Um.... same sex or same gender because---" "Shut up, we don't acknowledge transpeople" "okay.... No, I haven't" "You're straight" "But I haven't experienced any sexual attracti--" "If you're not gay you're straight". *groans*

I shouldn't be surprised. They kept going on about how sexuality is a spectrum or continuum- I guess it was educating about how gay people need to stop being persecuted. but a little visibility would be nice. Not that you can expect much with a story on the explosive fireworks of orgasms. But it's still annoying as heck- because that's hwo people think. A handful of questions on "Are you attracted to the opposite sex?" would've been nice. What about people who are bi and are attracted to/fantasize about/had sexual experiences with both? (I'm ignoring pan because, as I said, they don't acknowledge transpeople)

I also saw a quiz once that had "straight, bicurious straight, bisexual or anallophillic (asexual), bicurious gay, gay" as the options. That's right- bi and ase were crammed together, and they used this completely bizarre term that I only knew because someone suggested we call ourselves analloerotic, and I still had to look up. >_< Why is this so hard for people?

I couldn't care less what wether or not orientation is a choice. I believe it CAN be if you WANT it to, but we may be born with, but I know nothing.

The only thing that bites me in the rear end is how they could stick two COMPETELY DIFFERENT orientations togeather. Asexuality CAN NOT be be the same a bisexuality. If you are bisexual you are SEXUAL. If you are ASEXUAL, you are 'NON-SEXUAL': no SEX!

I do not CARE how hard it is for these little peole to graspt. They can just grow up, grow strong, grow open, and except it. *CHILDREN...

[Guest (?)]

I'm sure people have seen something like this- but it annoys the hell out of me. There was some magazine, I think "MIND" that had an issue on sex. Including a "shocking new finding" that, brace yourselves- those with weak hearts may want to leave the room because this is a big shock- Sexual orientation isn't a choice. Shocking, I know. I only read this because I was hoping to see something about asexuality. No such luck.

Including this delightful test of "How gay are you". The summary is: "Are you in any way sexually attracted to teh same sex?" "Um.... same sex or same gender because---" "Shut up, we don't acknowledge transpeople" "okay.... No, I haven't" "You're straight" "But I haven't experienced any sexual attracti--" "If you're not gay you're straight". *groans*

I shouldn't be surprised. They kept going on about how sexuality is a spectrum or continuum- I guess it was educating about how gay people need to stop being persecuted. but a little visibility would be nice. Not that you can expect much with a story on the explosive fireworks of orgasms. But it's still annoying as heck- because that's hwo people think. A handful of questions on "Are you attracted to the opposite sex?" would've been nice. What about people who are bi and are attracted to/fantasize about/had sexual experiences with both? (I'm ignoring pan because, as I said, they don't acknowledge transpeople)

I also saw a quiz once that had "straight, bicurious straight, bisexual or anallophillic (asexual), bicurious gay, gay" as the options. That's right- bi and ase were crammed together, and they used this completely bizarre term that I only knew because someone suggested we call ourselves analloerotic, and I still had to look up. >_< Why is this so hard for people?

I couldn't care less what wether or not orientation is a choice. I believe it CAN be if you WANT it to, but we may be born with, but I know nothing.

The only thing that bites me in the rear end is how they could stick two COMPETELY DIFFERENT orientations togeather. Asexuality CAN NOT be be the same a bisexuality. If you are bisexual you are SEXUAL. If you are ASEXUAL, you are 'NON-SEXUAL': no SEX!

I do not CARE how hard it is for these little peole to graspt. They can just grow up, grow strong, grow open, and except it. *CHILDREN...

Okay on this I think I need guideance...I thought you could be a Bisexual Asexual.

in the same way you can be a gay Asexual. Just because the sexual act doesn't take place it doesn't mean you can't be a bisexual/hetro/gay Asexual surely?

[Hallucigenia]

Okay on this I think I need guideance...I thought you could be a Bisexual Asexual.

in the same way you can be a gay Asexual. Just because the sexual act doesn't take place it doesn't mean you can't be a bisexual/hetro/gay Asexual surely?

You can certainly be a biromantic asexual, which is often called "bi-asexual" or sometimes "bisexual asexual" just to confuse things, and you can be a gray-A person who has some aspects of asexuality and some aspects of bisexuality, but I'm not sure how one could actually be both bisexual and asexual at the same time.

However, I think that what people were objecting to wasn't so much the existence of "bisexual asexuals" as individuals, but the idea that these quizzes and surveys by supposedly knowledgeable people are lumping bisexuality and asexuality together as though they're the very same orientation. There may be some overlap (in terms of romantic preferences and whatnot) but they're still very different concepts.

[Kuroneko]

Would Asexuality be an appropriate endpoint for a sexuality spectrum(going from asexuality, to homo/heterosexuality and ending at bisexuality)? I ask because I've never really considered asexuality to be a form of sexuality, in the same way I don't consider atheism a form of religious belief.

Asexuality---------------Monosexuality------------bisexuality------------pansexuality sort of?

I think of asexuality being on both ends of the sexuality spectrum with homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality and pansexuality in between.

[Inevitable]

Would Asexuality be an appropriate endpoint for a sexuality spectrum(going from asexuality, to homo/heterosexuality and ending at bisexuality)? I ask because I've never really considered asexuality to be a form of sexuality, in the same way I don't consider atheism a form of religious belief.

Asexuality---------------Monosexuality------------bisexuality------------pansexuality sort of?

I think of asexuality being on both ends of the sexuality spectrum with homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality and pansexuality in between.

Monosexuality presumable means Hetero and Homo.

You have to be careful with a spectrum like this. What it should mean is the number of potential different attractions (a- none, bi- two, etc) but it could be read as a measure of sexual attraction within different communities.

A few months ago someone posted a pretty simple graph but some members misread it as saying that bisexuality (which, for simplicity, was also Pansexuality) was shown as more sexual than Hetero/homo. This wasn't actually true but it did highlight an asumption within society that bisexuals are highly sexually charged indivduals. To bring us back to the spectrum line above, it could be read as a measure of sexuality. If this is the case, Asexuality would, of course, be 0, but Bisexuality/Pansexuality would be shown as significantly more. This is just not the case. A heterosexual could be a lot more sexually driven than a Bisexial, who might be virtually Grey-A.

I think it's very important to ensure that you correctly express what the analogy is trying to represent.

[AVENCakes]

I couldn't care less what wether or not orientation is a choice. I believe it CAN be if you WANT it to, but we may be born with, but I know nothing.

I think the problem with choice is that it implies that people who are non-hetero made a conscious decision to be that way, so any flack they get for it is their own damn fault because they chose to be like that. Don't like being discriminated against, just change back to being straight.

Also- if it's something you're born with, then you can use the "God made me like this, why would He make me in a way that is inherently wrong and sinful?"

Okay on this I think I need guideance...I thought you could be a Bisexual Asexual.

in the same way you can be a gay Asexual. Just because the sexual act doesn't take place it doesn't mean you can't be a bisexual/hetro/gay Asexual surely?

You can be biromantic and asexual. You can't be sexually attracted to both males and females at the same time as being sexually attracted to no one. Many simplify it by saying they're bisexual and asexual- but that's still a different issue, it's getting into Romantic orientation when the quiz I mentioned only dealt with sexual. (and I won't get into annoyance about how if you're non-aromantic asexual it can be hard to decide if you should check your romantic or sexual orientation)

The issue was that the quiz treated bisexuality (sexually attracted to males and females) and asexuality (sexually attracted to no one) as being identical. It only cared if you were attracted to males or females, and how "bicurious" you are, so if you aren't attracted only to one or the other- they slapped you into the same category, rather than recognizing the great difference between being bi and being a.