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Which do you identify with within your asexuality?


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How do you identify?  

  1. 1.

    • Female-same-sex oriented
      16
    • Female-opposite-sex oriented
      42
    • Female-either-sex oriented
      32
    • Female-neither oriented
      15
    • Male-same-sex oriented
      7
    • Male-opposite-sex oriented
      20
    • Male-either-sex oriented
      9
    • Male-neither oriented
      7
    • Other/Neither -towards females
      3
    • Other/Neither -towards males
      4
    • Other/Neither -towards either
      7
    • Other/Neither -towards neither
      9
    • Somehow not listed
      7

This poll is closed to new votes


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In term of any(or none) non-sexual attraction within your asexuality, how might you identify?

~~~~~~~~~~

This has been done before(to death even) in bits and pieces, but I just wanted a current one, in massive poll form.

Please give the closest answer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sense there could be some complications anyway.

When I say 'neither-oriented' I don't mean that in the sense of "I'm not putting a label on myself" or "i'm open to anything" but in the sense of not being into either gender, even non-sexually.

The "other/neither" gender option is there for the possibility of transgendered people, or intersexed people, or people without a clear gender, etc. So try not to use that lightly, as in "Gender binaries are mean" or "sometimes I have a fantasy I'm both genders at once for a day" or something...I'm talking about what you biologically are.

Same with the last option, that's for something that somehow isn't included--probably something really unique--not just that the other options weren't complete beacons of perfection in describing you.

Also for the sake of the poll try to be simple(the discussion in the thread can go into more detail). For example if you're 99% same-sex oriented but could possibly entertain an opposite-sex romantic fantasy, I would suggest just rounding that up to same-sex oriented.

Or if you are opposite-sex oriented but 'open to anything' I would suggest just keeping it at opposite-sex. I'm not really asking about what you officially believe, but more about what you've collected and sensed out that you are.

I am sure I seem like a poll-fascist, but I assumed in such a diverse community all kinds of things like this would come up, and I wanted to address them before they started-and I can't have more than 16 options in a poll regardless.

If you're still unsure about what you are, maybe don't vote right away, and use the thread to ask.

And I suppose if you are not asexual- don't vote at all.How mean

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Umm ...okay.

Are you talking about biology or psychology when you refer to gender?

'Soon as that's cleared up I'll figure out an answer of sorts.

-Greybird

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Cate Perfect

Yet another lady for the ladies, here.

What would the Female--Other represent, exactly?

Cate

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I'm female... physically at least. Mentally I'm me, whatever that is, but I put down female attracted to female anyway.

It's still a concept I haven't completely worked out, but based on my past experiance with a-crushes and the times when I imagine my "perfect relationship" it seems most likely. I'm still not sure why, though, considering I don't put that much weight on appearance - it's just somehow that's what I feel. I don't really understand either!

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I'm male and as far as aesthetic or intellectual interests I like both.

^Agreed

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Female-Either for me. I usually lean more towards guys, but I've been attracted to women and the concept of being in a relationship with women more than once.

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I'm a lady

I like the word 'lady' and people should use it more often.

Umm ...okay.

Are you talking about biology or psychology when you refer to gender?

'Soon as that's cleared up I'll figure out an answer of sorts.

-Greybird

Biological sex basically, I probably should have used that term, eh?

For the most part forget about the mental/psychological aspects, unless you hate to an extreme the fact you are a certain sex or are living as the opposite sex, or something like that that is pushing into trans-ish territory, in which case you might qualify as 'other' and should maybe explain more.

What would the Female--Other represent, exactly?

To which are you referring, exactly?

'Female-either-sex oriented'--- would refer to a female bi-asexual

'Female-neither oriented'------- would refer to a female a-asexual(no attraction in any form)

'Other/neither oriented toward females'--- would be people whose biological sex is not clearly female or male but who are attracted(asexually) towards females

I assume you meant one of those 3.

....I sure know how to make things complicated, don't I?

I'm male and as far as aesthetic or intellectual interests I like both.

hmmm, here's where I wanted to be careful. The key would be attraction.

I can have an aesthetic eye for people, but attraction is not a component.

Liking certain 'gender qualities' or something like that isn't quite enough(for the way I meant this poll at least)

Have you ever been attracted(non-sexually) to members of either gender?

You still may have voted correctly but I just wanted to make that clear.

~~~~~~~~~

Just to everyone, you don't have to vote. If you don't really know yourself enough yet to be sure, or are confused,then it's not going to be something you suddenly know.

~~~~~~~~~

I'm also just curious who already voted for the not listed here option already?

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I read your instructions only after i voted... so i voted for the somehow not listed option...

After thinking about it, i still think thats the best vote for me... but im willing to open it for discussion.

I have a penis, does that neceserally make me a male? i dont know... im not female in any way but its hard for me to describe myself as anything at the moment... and as for what i like, its even harder... i dont know what i like... i just like beautiful things.

i know it sounds protentious, but thats really the way i feel...

so what am i supposed to tick?

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Silly Green Monkey

Male and female refer to physical sex, so if you have an identifiable penis you fall into the range of male. Masculine and feminine, on the other hand, are strictly social and can not only change, but be incompatible with your character.

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Cate Perfect
I like the word 'lady' and people should use it more often.

*seconds that*

'Other/neither oriented toward females'--- would be people whose biological sex is not clearly female or male but who are attracted(asexually) towards females

That's the one I meant. Unfortunately you can't look at poll options once you're on the 'reply' screen and I couldn't remember all of it. Your explanation make sense. I should've seen it before. Dur. I'm still a lady-liking-lady.

Cate

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wednesday's child

Hmm... LOL, there's no good way for me to answer this poll.

As for the parts down there, I'm female; in my head, I don't really consider myself anything, but I have more feminine traits than I do masculine, I suppose.

And as for who I'm attracted to--I have the strongest aesthetic "attraction" (that is, if given a choice I prefer to look at) to androgynous males; but as for intellectual/emotional closeness and relationship material, the only people I've ever been interested in are females.

Edit: Yay, 100th post! And it only took me two years XD;;;

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I like the word lady and think it should be used more often too, but not to describe me, lol.

I'm female, and I most definately am, at this time, not attracted in any way to any thing. [Nor do I expect to wake up one day any time soon and decide otherwise]

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SGM: Surely being a male is more than just having male reproductive organs.. How can you define someones sex just by biology... Also, i didnt mean that i am feminine, i dont think im feminine at all... I'm just me... whatever that may be.

And as for the word lady, i use it all the time! (not for myself obviously)

edit: I dont believe in biology...

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Silly Green Monkey

Male is a biological term. It's not only the outer genitalia that are considered, but gonadal and chromosomal sex are also used to determine sex. Sex is biological, gender is sociological. Also, the sex of the body may not be the sex felt by the person, but that doesn't mean that the sex in the head negates the sex of the body. Until they're post-op.

Now, being a man is not biological at all. A man is an adult male, different cultures having different ideas about adults.

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Well, I'm certainly male. That part of the poll is easy. What's puzzling me is the difference between 'either' and 'neither' oriented non-sexual attraction.

Is it that 'either' refers to non-sexual attraction to both genders equally and 'neither' refers to non-sexual attraction without regard to gender?

Or

Is it that 'either' refers to a person who experiences non-sexual attraction (regardless of gender) and 'neither' refers to a person who doesn't not experience non-sexual attraction?

Or am I being particularly dense this morning? (Which is entirely possible, of course. :lol: )

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Silly Green Monkey

Doesn't...not? I think it's the first explanation, with neither meaning that you aren't attracted to any gender and either meaning you're attracted to all.

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Hello everyone.

This is a really interesting poll which is making me think long and hard. I'm female (the easy bit) and I've always assumed I'm not attracted to either sex but that's because I've always thought of it in terms of sexual attraction rather than asexual attraction. I'm just acknowledging to myself (the very difficult bit) for the first time that actually I have felt and do sometimes feel attracted to and connected with others (in an entirely asexual way) and they are almost always other females. I don't think I'd feel safe to say that out loud to family and friends. I just don't think they'd get it. They'd twist it to fit their own understandings of human relationships. It's incredibly isolating. How liberating to be able to say this to others (albeit a virtual community) without fear of ridicule or rejection. But how sad to be 35 before I've felt able to say it, or indeed face it myself. :cry: I've known for a long time I'm asexual (before there was a word for it) but I haven't been able to admit (or indeed make sense of) being attracted to other women. Now it's starting to make sense... and I'm not alone. Hooray! Thanks for thinking of running this poll. It's had a very unexpected 'eureka' effect on me.

:?: By the way, what is it about the word 'lady' that appeals so much? I am interested in words and language. Do say some more....

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Cate Perfect

Amen, mindlife.

Emily: Don't look at it like you've spent 35 years without a word for who you are--look at all the time you have left knowing the truth...And it IS nice being able to look at attraction in a way other than sexual, isn't it? I partucularly like that bit about being asexual.

Cate

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To me, attraction is about who I would want to be friends with. It doesn't matter who or what that person is.

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To me, attraction is about who I would want to be friends with. It doesn't matter who or what that person is.

Yes, this is my view also.

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Silly Green Monkey

Unfortunately, attaching 'lady' to something lowers its seriousness and importance. A golfer sounds more professional than a lady golfer. Putting lady on a term makes it sound more frivolous.

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When it's used to differentiate like that, I agree. It creates the impression that the base term is defaulted as masculine. It's that stupid "male as the norm" bullshit. So yes, when used as a qualifier, it sounds less than complimentary.

I like the word "lady" on its own the way it used to be used, to describe a woman, as dictionary.com says, "especially when spoken of or to in a polite way."

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