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Christianity vs. Asexuality


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I don't know if anybody has discussed this in the past, but it is a topic that bothers me...why is there a conflict between christianity and being asexual? I didn't even think that this would be an issue. I got that many christians are against homosexuality because appearantly there are some passage in the bible against it...while i don't agree with their stance, at least there is some sort of basis...i suppose :unsure: But once i was talking to my mom on the phone...and one of our favorite topics this year has been sexuality (usually my mom bashing homosexuality and me defending it -_- ) anyway...one day we were talking and she mentioned asexuals (she didn't use the word, but she described them) and she started bashing on asexuality (she didn't know that i was A...still doesn't...this is actually the reason that i haven't told her yet). What i don't get is that christianity seems to glorify chasity. You are suppose to be sexually pure. You would think that asexuals would be held up as an example. I can't figure out for the life of me why people who glorify chasity would bash asexuality. The next day i ranted to my friend, "It's not enough that i don't have sex, but I'm suppose to want to have sex?"

I'm just curious if anybody has any opinions on this issue...or if maybe you can share how being asexual is bad in the christian perspective...cause i'm hopelessly confused :blink:

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There is nothing in the Bible that is against asexuality. Either way for my report I get to have a in depth thorough discussion with local pastor on this.

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There are even passages that support asexuality in the form of celibacy if the person is capable of such a thing, if I remember correctly.

But some people see sex as a sacred thing and reproduction as almost a necessity, so I assume that's why some people are against it.

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Because asexuality generally upsets most popular paradigms on sexual desire, and fundamentalists of all stripes (both left wing and right wing) tend to react poorly to their paradigms being upset. I've talked about asexuality with a lot of people, including a lot of Christians, and most were totally fine with the idea. The only one who reacted poorly and insisted it didn't exist or was a dysfunction, was solidly on the "fundamentalist" end of the spectrum. Similarly, I've talked to several Pride groups, and most people in that society are warm and accepting, but there's a number on the extreme end of the "sex positive" movement (Dan Savage is a good example) who won't give asexuality the time of day. One of my close friends was marginalized and shunned from her local Pride group, because it didn't fit into their worldview, and they claimed it to be the product of repression and the "sex-negative" message of some segments of popular culture.

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Because asexuality generally upsets most popular paradigms on sexual desire, and fundamentalists of all stripes (both left wing and right wing) tend to react poorly to their paradigms being upset. I've talked about asexuality with a lot of people, including a lot of Christians, and most were totally fine with the idea. The only one who reacted poorly and insisted it didn't exist or was a dysfunction, was solidly on the "fundamentalist" end of the spectrum. Similarly, I've talked to several Pride groups, and most people in that society are warm and accepting, but there's a number on the extreme end of the "sex positive" movement (Dan Savage is a good example) who won't give asexuality the time of day. One of my close friends was marginalized and shunned from her local Pride group, because it didn't fit into their worldview, and they claimed it to be the product of repression and the "sex-negative" message of some segments of popular culture.

I wonder what people like that would do if they met someone who's asexual but enjoys pleasuring or something, so they're fully willing and able to have sex- they just don't desire it. Would it still be seen as repression, or would they be totally unable to see the difference between that and sexuality?

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Bible doesn't say one thing against asexuality. I agree with Sonofzeal, fundy's don't like the paradigm being upset; and asexuality doesn't fit within the 'grow up, get married, breed, die' program.

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Bible doesn't say one thing against asexuality.

It doesn't name it, that's for sure. But do you think these passages:

Gen.1

1. [22] And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

2. [28] And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth,

Gen.9

1. [1] And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

Gen.35

1. [11] And God said unto him, I am God Almighty: be fruitful and multiply;

refer to artificial insemination? :o

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Bible doesn't say one thing against asexuality.

It doesn't name it, that's for sure. But do you think these passages:

Gen.1

1. [22] And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

2. [28] And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth,

Gen.9

1. [1] And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

Gen.35

1. [11] And God said unto him, I am God Almighty: be fruitful and multiply;

refer to artificial insemination? :o

No but those passages pertain to man and wife. Peter told us it is better to be celibate but if one must give into carnal cravings, marry and be fruitful in the name of the Lord.

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Bible doesn't say one thing against asexuality.

It doesn't name it, that's for sure. But do you think these passages:

Gen.1

1. [22] And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

2. [28] And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth,

Gen.9

1. [1] And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

Gen.35

1. [11] And God said unto him, I am God Almighty: be fruitful and multiply;

refer to artificial insemination? :o

No but those passages pertain to man and wife. Peter told us it is better to be celibate but if one must give into carnal cravings, marry and be fruitful in the name of the Lord.

I think they refer to the belief of the bible's writers that God wanted humans to procreate simply because so far there were very few humans -- i.e., the earth had been just created and needed more human stewards.

(No, I'm not disclaiming evolution; we're talking about the reasons behind several passages in the very early parts of the bible, not natural processes.)

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Shadow girl

Being asexual isn't a sin at all.

Gays can be gay without having gay sex. If they can be celibate then they should be fine. After all we have gay asexuals and that's within moral lines.

Being Asexual will not hinder your chances of getting into heaven at all.

I read the Bible and God has never said anything against it.

Sex is optional.

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Definitely. We're not at the Noah stage anymore.

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GoAllyGoGo i completely love your comments...especially the gift one ^_^

that aside, i also have read/studied the bible for as long as i can remember

that's part of the reason why i was so confused as to why there would be any problem with asexuality

i was more under the impression that we would be held up as positive examples :lol:

you know...something along those lines anyway

i'm like "isn't this suppose to be one of the ideal lifestyles according to the bible?"

i was completely shocked by the whole "have dare you not want to have sex" thing...well, that's all that i can really think to call it -_-

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Peter told us it is better to be celibate but if one must give into carnal cravings, marry and be fruitful in the name of the Lord.

Peter? Wasn't he Paul? I think you refer to 1 Corinthians 7.

I live in country where the Roman Catholic Church is almost the only present. I don't know in churches where celibacy is not mandatory for priesthood. Inside the Roman Catholic Church, asexuality is compatible with the vocation for priest, monk or nun. I haven't discussed this issue with religious people.

But, if procreation were a duty for Christians, asexuality is the most comfortable orientation. Having sex just to make children is (depending on how repulsed the ace is) affects very few days of your life. Waiting until marriage and monogamy could be more sacrifice for a heterosexual. And homo/bi-sexuals are in a worse situations, since they must not act upon their gay side.

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I don't think it's a sin to be asexual.

As for the gay thing I don't know. I won't get involved in that discussion (it will inevitably get blown into an argument like every other religious thread)

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SecretSaucer

Maybe fundamentalists should get together and make some porn to illustrate exactly how they want everyone to have sex. That way it'd be less confusing.

p.s. I had a professor who was a Sister and she said that she was "made for celibacy" so it worked really well for her, but she didn't think that it should be mandatory because of the occasional negative consequences that arise if people try to repress their sexuality. She was really cool and I think she might have been ace. And, whether she was or not, she definitely was of the opinion that there was no reason why anyone should have to be heterosexual.

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it wasn't really my intention to start as is this a sin, is that a sin thing

i only mentioned the homosexuality aspect to 1) try to demonstrate the nature of the debates that i have with my mom and 2) to mention that they have reasons as to why they are against homosexuality (however valid those may be) and to set it in contrast with the asexuality

asexuality isn't a sin...i honestly have no idea how it could be! Either you're sinning because you're out screwing or you're sinning because you're not out screwing...that doesn't really make any since -_-

that is exactly my problem! I see no way in which asexuality could be considered a sin, so i can't even begin to understand why it would be shunned by the Christian community...it makes no sense! Or maybe i'm just too A to figure it out...maybe it's super obvious to the sexuals -_-'

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Peter told us it is better to be celibate but if one must give into carnal cravings, marry and be fruitful in the name of the Lord.

Peter? Wasn't he Paul? I think you refer to 1 Corinthians 7.

Could be Paul, been a long time since I was actively keeping all my dogma fresh in my head let alone the entire bible; to be honest I'm no longer truly qualified to dispute on behalf of Catholics and I know it :P

But I do know the bible doesn't speak against not being sexually active (if you're not married), and that's my point.

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Because asexuality generally upsets most popular paradigms on sexual desire, and fundamentalists of all stripes (both left wing and right wing) tend to react poorly to their paradigms being upset. I've talked about asexuality with a lot of people, including a lot of Christians, and most were totally fine with the idea. The only one who reacted poorly and insisted it didn't exist or was a dysfunction, was solidly on the "fundamentalist" end of the spectrum. Similarly, I've talked to several Pride groups, and most people in that society are warm and accepting, but there's a number on the extreme end of the "sex positive" movement (Dan Savage is a good example) who won't give asexuality the time of day. One of my close friends was marginalized and shunned from her local Pride group, because it didn't fit into their worldview, and they claimed it to be the product of repression and the "sex-negative" message of some segments of popular culture.

I wonder what people like that would do if they met someone who's asexual but enjoys pleasuring or something, so they're fully willing and able to have sex- they just don't desire it. Would it still be seen as repression, or would they be totally unable to see the difference between that and sexuality?

My good sir, I believe they would scratch their heads, for a very long time. And stare.

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Sex is supposedly "God's gift." What a crappy gift. "Happy birthday! Here's a vagina!"

Ahahahah....too bad he didn't include a receipt so we could exchange it for something better. Like a sweater. Or socks. I think I would prefer socks...

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Because asexuality generally upsets most popular paradigms on sexual desire, and fundamentalists of all stripes (both left wing and right wing) tend to react poorly to their paradigms being upset. I've talked about asexuality with a lot of people, including a lot of Christians, and most were totally fine with the idea. The only one who reacted poorly and insisted it didn't exist or was a dysfunction, was solidly on the "fundamentalist" end of the spectrum. Similarly, I've talked to several Pride groups, and most people in that society are warm and accepting, but there's a number on the extreme end of the "sex positive" movement (Dan Savage is a good example) who won't give asexuality the time of day. One of my close friends was marginalized and shunned from her local Pride group, because it didn't fit into their worldview, and they claimed it to be the product of repression and the "sex-negative" message of some segments of popular culture.

I wonder what people like that would do if they met someone who's asexual but enjoys pleasuring or something, so they're fully willing and able to have sex- they just don't desire it. Would it still be seen as repression, or would they be totally unable to see the difference between that and sexuality?

My good sir, I believe they would scratch their heads, for a very long time. And stare.

Having talked to one... well, the one I talked to would say that not desiring sex (within the bounds of marriage of course) wouldn't be a sin, but would indicate some deeper dysfunction/fallenness. And that'd still be the case even if they were willing to do the act, since the dysfunction's still there. It's a supremely non-adaptive worldview, and one held by only a minority even among Christians (at least up here in Canada, where the church seems to have taken the stance that being gay is fine as long as you're non-practicing... which I guess is a step in the right direction).

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My mom and step dad are rather uptight christians and when I told them I was asexual my step dad responded like he thought I was lying. He didn't believe it existed. And my mother said the only way that would exist is if God intended me to be a nun or a missionary so I wouldn't have to worry about being tempted to have sex while serving God.

I think Christians in general don't find the idea of asexuality appealing is because marriage and love and sex are all God's gift to us supposedly. Christians think that those sexual desires are only suppose to be fulfilled in the boundaries of marriage. Most believe we all have a soul mate. The one person on earth that God intended for us to find and to marry and love forever. Being asexual...we don't really need to find one person. And if we do decide to spend it with one person we wouldn't be doing it "the Christian way" by expressing our love in a sexual fashion and bringing children into this world to raise to believe in God.

For me...I could theoretically spend the rest of my life with anyone that was a close friend. And I would never express that love in a sexual way. For Christians, (I think) it's like we are ignoring God's plan for all humans.

That's just me though...and I can only come up with that based on my family and their church friends.

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Vampireseal
Bible doesn't say one thing against asexuality. I agree with Sonofzeal, fundy's don't like the paradigm being upset; and asexuality doesn't fit within the 'grow up, get married, breed, die' program.

I think you're right. There is nothing in the Bible that I can recall being directly opposed to asexuality, but I have experienced anti-asexual sentiment from fundies. But to be fair, I think Married and Childfree people got *way* more flak than I did. It's like some of the "pro-family" sentiment is being taken far, far too literally and has taken on a militant aspect. I don't believe that its a widespread sentiment per se (just very concentrated in my geographic area), and on the internet, I've noticed other Christians are supportive or simply ignore it.

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metalgirl2045
it wasn't really my intention to start as is this a sin, is that a sin thing

i only mentioned the homosexuality aspect to 1) try to demonstrate the nature of the debates that i have with my mom and 2) to mention that they have reasons as to why they are against homosexuality (however valid those may be) and to set it in contrast with the asexuality

asexuality isn't a sin...i honestly have no idea how it could be! Either you're sinning because you're out screwing or you're sinning because you're not out screwing...that doesn't really make any since -_-

that is exactly my problem! I see no way in which asexuality could be considered a sin, so i can't even begin to understand why it would be shunned by the Christian community...it makes no sense! Or maybe i'm just too A to figure it out...maybe it's super obvious to the sexuals -_-'

No, there isn't, at least not to me. I see it exactly the same way you do. I used to be Christian, I'd never heard of asexuality back then but if I had done I think I would have considered anything other than asexuality, at least at my age (early teens) sinful.

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AFlyingPiglet
[Having talked to one... well, the one I talked to would say that not desiring sex (within the bounds of marriage of course) wouldn't be a sin, but would indicate some deeper dysfunction/fallenness. And that'd still be the case even if they were willing to do the act, since the dysfunction's still there. It's a supremely non-adaptive worldview, and one held by only a minority even among Christians

Its equally true that Christians who are married and desire sex can have 'Deep Dysfunction/Fallenness'. The idea that married people with children are somehow emotionally more healthy and rounded people is a myth. I just have to think of my friend (who is in a Christian Marriage with 4 kids) who is having Marriage problems at the moment

Christians think that those sexual desires are only suppose to be fulfilled in the boundaries of marriage. Most believe we all have a soul mate. The one person on earth that God intended for us to find and to marry and love forever.

I don't know if I agee that Most Christians believe we all have a soul mate. I certainly don't think that God intends for us to ALL be married - I only have to think of all the single Christians I know. Some are Divorced or Widowed but the majority are 'never married'. Many of These never married Christians are people in their 40s, 50s and 60s and so on.

One of the problems facing the Church is that it doesn't know how do 'deal with' single people in the Church full stop. When I became a Christian I decided to do a lot of reading into singleness in the Church as I was really happy as a single person and I wanted to grow in my faith as a single person. I do moan about the Church and the way that it is, but I also realise that I am part of that Church, and I am in the position to not just moan, but to actually do something and make a difference (however small that difference might be). I guess it helps that I am pretty bloody minded when it comes to institutions being stuck in their ways, and like a good fight too!

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I used to be a pretty devout Christian and this is what I came up with.....

Christian doctrine is pretty against homosexuality. There are a few stories and messages in the Bible (I.E. Sodom/Gammora) that portray homosexuality in a very negative light. "Sodomy" came from this story.

Asexuality......uuhhhh.........I can't think of any passage or story where it is condemned. The only ones I could really think of as pro-sex are ones that mention the Creation Mandate (Be Fruitful/Multiply/Spread The Earth/Harvest Crops/Etc). Everything else seems indifferent.

That being said, I'm not going to follow a doctrine that I feel is unnaccepting to all who wish to believe.

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I checked the Catechism of the Catholic Church. It says that a marriage requires children because thats supposedly the point, but it seems you choose to adopt instead of have sex.

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