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Visibility Brainstorming


Luisa

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Hello, Everyone!

I, for one, would like to make asexuality a more common notion in our global community. The first part of this is, I think, the "visibility" part. The more people are aware of asexuality as a concept, the less people will assume that one must be "sick" to be asexual, or "abnormal," or whatever the misunderstanding du jour is.

We ~are,~ of course, in the vast minority (so far) when it comes to numbers...however, our feelings are valid. I am not suggesting that we "force" people to endure our "lectures" on asexuality, and how it's as normal as sexuality, etc.

Rather, I would like it if people that were interested (or would be interested if they knew that asexuality was a "thing") could find the resources that they would like. Also, it would be nice for these people to be able to converse/email with asexual people personally, if they would like to ask more specific experiential questions.

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So...it's established that I would like to do some "visibility" work for asexuality.

I started this thread in hopes of people getting together and thinking of good ways to bring asexuality to the attention of people, without forcing it down their throats.

1. The T-Shirts are a good start. People are "invited" to talk with you about it, by commenting on it, or are equally as free not to comment at all.

2. Where are good places to give "talks," or "back-forth" sessions on asexuality? Schools? Clubs?

3. What magazines/journals would be interested in articles on asexuality? (Playboy? ;) )

4. What other avenues of "visibility" do we have?

5. Is it appropriate to consider going on a (polite) "talk-show" at some time in the future, when we get our heads together a little bit more?

6. Any other ideas?

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Also, if you're like me, you are feeling a certain amount of apprehension about "spreading the word" for one or more of the following reasons:

1. A feeling of a lack of "knowledge" about the subject, even though there aren't very "hard and fast" facts. Or, a feeling that, when confronted with questions/arguments, you will be unable to answer them adequately.

2. Apprehension about "going out on the limb" of spreading visibility about this alone. Sometimes, things like this are easier if you do them in pairs, or at least groups.

3. Worry about (perceived) "ostracism" because of asexuality. This can run the gamut from fear of unpopularity in school, minor "hate crimes" like damage to one's personal property, major "hate crimes" like bodily harm, rejection by one's family, etc.

4. Other worries?

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So...what do you guys think? Good ideas about "visibility?" Anyone sharing my worries about this subject?

Where do we go from here?

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Number 4. I worry about my family far more then just random people I might meet.

I've really only brought my asexuality up in one class ever but as far a opertunities to share the info, I have a lot of them. Most of my classes are art classes or media arts classes so all I have to do is make a project and share the meaning. They'd be forced to discuss it as part of the critique. On the other hand. I've made a big point of telling people that my thoughts and feelings on things are none of their buisness and if I wan't to make things just for the aesthetics I can and will. Suddenly doing something with meaning would kind of go against my general stance on what I'm doing in art classes.

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I would say 3 is my main concern really.

Others concern me but less.

I tell close friends I am asexual but ppl who i just met if asked i say i haven't found the right one. Blah blha blah makes it easier on me.

When I get to know them better or If i get to know them betetr i will tell them. If not it's simply not worth the "you're weird" or a 2 hour debate after which u still can't convince the fools.

Alex

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Then...I guess this leads to this question:

Do people here think that the benefits of taking the "visibility and education" part of asexuality into their own hands outweigh the risks? Or just the reverse?

(I think that representing asexuality through art is a great idea, and one that I might capitalize upon myself, if you don't mind me deriving stuff from your idea.)

I'm looking to work on the "visibility" part, but don't know quite how to begin, or how to overcome the feelings of worry due to the reasons I listed above.

Thanks for responding, and keep those answers rolling in!

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I like the asexuality article in a pagazine like Playboy. Use the sexuals' weapons against them! *LOL* The talk show idea is nice too since I would have the opportunity to go on TV 8)

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Their world (sexual ppl) is divided into "would fuck anyday" "Would fuck if I was drunk" and "Wouldn't fuck"

They didvide ppl that way.

There is no place for us for such ppl. Most ppl think I am full of shit when i tell them I walk down the street and I don't think of who to screw next.

Visibility is important but as I said I tell close friends. Until somebody decides to do some real research on asexuality (I am in NO WAY dissing u AVENGUY-simply saying that there is a serious lack of research on this topic. Sadly all we can offer the world is theories and of course ourselves as proof). The other day when I finally told mom she didn't believe me. She walked into the room and i was readign the aven boards. She asked and I told her and big surprise *drum roll* she didn't believe me. MY OWN MOM. Well figures....

Visibility is nice. Maybe if there were more of us too. Unfortunately there are a lot of ignorant morons in this world.

Alex

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I would actually argue that scientific research is a moot point. This isn't particle physics, there's no experiment we can do to test our hypothesis that asexual people do, in fact, exist. All that science can do that's relevant to us is say whether or not its pathological, and the bounds of pathology are subjective and socially defined. There are no objective facts when it comes to social constructs like sexual orientation, so there can be mo research. There are alot of reasons why people don't believe us, sex is so important in our society that it's impossible for many sexual people to even IMAGINE an asexual person, let alone accept that one exists. If they don't believe us it's a matter of better explaining our experience, not our brain chemistry.

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Ah but avenguy research IS important.

They researched gays before they found out that "Hey omg they actually exist who no way" then after enough tests laws were made to include and protect them.

They used to burn and hang them remember?

Tere may not be a physicall way to prove it (i.e. A certain part of brain is visibly different etc) but there are personality tests and stuff that CAN be done.

Alex

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Used to?

Remember...just a few years ago, they killed that gay guy by dragging him behind a car!

I'd say "it's a jungle out there," but jungles are a little more civilized!

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As a student of the gay rights movement (and this is just my reading) I would say that scientific research was driven by social acceptance, not vice versa. The gay rights movement lobbied the peoplebehind the DSM like they would a section of congress, showing them experiential evidence that homo and bifolk could lead emotionally well-adjusted and happy lives. It was the result of visibility, not alot of scientists with electrodes and graphs. The scientific community can be swayed by visibility just like any other. I definitely think that the scientific community is a key focus in visibility work, and if they want to do research on us more power to 'em. I just think it's unhealthy to adopt the standpoint that we're not legit until they say we are.

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I'd like to do more for visibility, but I'd like to remain a bit anonymous, if that makes any sense. My website is my only effort so far, but it doesn't get much traffic (maybe I need to rename it "sexsexsex" or something), and I've written a bit for the asexuality book, both of which I can do while remaining pretty anonymous. Oh, and I've filled in the Kinsey survey - so that's 3 things, but if there are other things I can do then it would be even better.

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I'm still trying to come up with ideas that are good, that reach people, and that "fit" me.

So far, the best suggestion for me is the artwork depicting asexuality.

I've been thinking about it a lot; no wonderful images have come to mind, but I've thought of a couple of ideas that might blossom into something later on. For me, this would be a very "meaningful" painting. I do a lot of paintings, but only a few are actually "breakthrough" pieces in my mind.

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I'm also very interested in what else can be done...

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I'm not very good at keeping up with the internet stuff, due to lack of time, and so I haven't read about the "book" yet, but when I figure that out, I will be happy to make a contribution.

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I sense that several people here (and not just me) would like to be more "active" and "visible," but are somewhat afraid of unforseen and forseen "consequences."

Does anyone have any good ideas on how to handle these fears?

Here's an example: my mom said that there are very few places that I can wear my Asexuality T-Shirt (when I first pay for it and then get it) without "getting into a lot of trouble."

Now, I'm not looking to fight with anyone, and I'm certainly not looking to "get into trouble." I'm simply trying to offer an open door to anyone who would like to discuss it. I would assume that those who don't would not comment...but others say that they are likely to ostracize me (even strangers may ostracize me) because of the Asexuality shirt.

I'm thinking, "If I saw it and didn't like it, I'd simply be quiet about it."

Quite often, I see the "straight pride" symbol, and it's something that I really don't agree with, philosophically, but I simply let it go without commenting. I am not looking for a fight, and I already know the "reasoning" that people have behind wearing that symbol.

I guess I'm rambling, but my points are:

* Looking for more ways to contribute to "visibility"

* Looking for ways to discuss/combat the "fear" that may cause some people to avoid working on "visibility."

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