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Hello, I'm new & Looking For Fellow Asexuals in Michigan


Andrea

any other asexuals married to sexaholics?  

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I went to the doctor yesterday and we talked about my asexuality. and when I looked at the bill today I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw she had written "SEXUAL DYSDUNCTION"as one of my diagnosis's :evil: . Can you believe that :?: :!: . She said my husband & I should consider marraige counseling because he's a sexaholic and I'm asexual. Which isn't a bad idea. It does cause problems.. So I would like to know if anyone is holding groups or meetings in the michigan/irish hills area. Let me know.

ASEXUAL & ALONE IN MANITAU BEACH :cry:

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I went to the doctor yesterday and we talked about my asexuality. and when I looked at the bill today I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw she had written "SEXUAL DYSDUNCTION"as one of my diagnosis's :evil: . Can you believe that :?: :!: .

One word, no.

Don't pay for that one.

She said my husband & I should consider marraige counseling because he's a sexaholic and I'm asexual. Which isn't a bad idea. It does cause problems.. So I would like to know if anyone is holding groups or meetings in the michigan/irish hills area. Let me know.

ASEXUAL & ALONE IN MANITAU BEACH :cry:

Your husband's relationship to sexual activity will change when he receives some help for his addictive relationship and it is transformed.

His marriage to you is a blessing in disguise.

It is because your asexuality will facilitate the kind of transformation he must undergo to recover his psychological health. You won't save him, but you will probably facilitate positive change.

How fortunate he is indeed.

I'm not from Michigan, sorry.

I welcome you to AVEN. You are not alone as an asexual any more.

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Well....

Once again...I think i'll be the unpopular asexual here. I wouldn't say that your husband has an addictive habbit...that is sex. He's just being a normal guy. He does not have anything wrong with him. Guys normally really like sex. Sexual drive is not a bad thing. And sexual dysfunction? Well....Yeah. Let's break apart the word. Dys....function. Not functional sexual drive. That describes asexuals to a T. However....dysfunction often carries with it the tone that it must be "corrected"....which is BullS***. I don't think that asexuality can be...or in many cases should be...corrected. Asexuality is not normal. But it also is not wrong or need to be corrected. But, as an analytical thinker....i'd say that asexuality falls under sexual dysfunction. But just not "fixable".

As far as the sexaholic. Well....Your married, right? So, obviously the love must be there. The thing is....when asexuality clashes with sexual relationships. The real question is.....How much does his sex drive offend or make you feel bad? Is it bad enough to say "your never having sex with me again". Or is it just that he CONSTANTLY wants sex....and that...while you don't like sex...it's does not all that bother you much....and he needs to tone it down a bit? It really is up to you. On one hand you have your asexuality. On the other is a relationship to a (i assume) Wonderful guy that you love....who needs what most guys need....sex. If you cut off sex completly....your husband WILL need a release...and how will that come about? And because you posted here...i think that means that you have issues with his CONSTANT sex drive...and you don't like that too much. You must weigh the concequences and the rewards on each end....and do what most couples do. Comprimise.

So....I'd have a very serious discussion with your husband. And reach a comprimise. The key to all relationships (in my own opinion) is honesty. So....be open about your asexuality. And....just talk.

I'm not really good at this advice thing. But....talking always helps.

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I think Wombat is right to try and balance things here a little. Hey Wombat, you're not unpopular with me - I agree 100%!

If a medical professional describes a lack of interest in sex as "sexual dysfunction" they are pretty darned right in the context of medical science in which they work - whether you like it or not.

Sounds like you've need to see a relationship specialist, or a psychotherapist who will work with BOTH of you to help resolve the difference in sexual requirements - not a general doctor who will work with the medical understanding currently in existence in his/her industry.

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