jsut Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 wow- this is truly amazing that 1) there are other people out there similar to me and 2) there's a place for us to learn from eachother. We are all lucky. To start off, I am an 18 year old male. I have always known that I am/was 'heterosexual' and still feel that I am not gay. I have always been in relationships, and found myself pulling out before any sexual relationship took place. I masturbate daily(always to thoughts or pictures of women), so i don't know if i can classify myself as asexual, but that's how i feel because i don't search sex with others. I echo what i've read from so many others on this forum, that instead they search out intellectual relationships. I like to call them "brain buddies"! I have had sex with multiple woman, but i feel that it's only because i needed the experience. I enjoyed it(i guess) but i dreaded what came afterwards. I felt uncomfortable with those who i did truly feel comfortable with. I am very confused. It's hard to tell people this, of course because it's not the 'norm' but i'm also not sure whether they could fully understand the complexity of it. I know that i need the sexual interaction. I love masturbation and sometimes wonder if it's because i don't think anyone else could pleasure me as well as i can myself. I don't feel i need to classify myself, but how would i be classified? 'Heterosexual, Asexual, Sexually Repressed'??? Link to post Share on other sites
Silly Green Monkey Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 The only definition of asexual that we as a group recognize is that an individual not be sexually attracted to either gender. Beyond that, it doesn't matter if you want to snuggle or masturbate. You are the only one who can decide whether or not you are asexual, it's not like we can read your psyche like friends and parents claim they can. You might want to search (in links at the top next to the symbol) for masturbation to find threads on the subject. There's been a lot said! Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
junie99 Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
Kez Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Hiya, join in, eat cake... Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Hello and welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Kombucha2000 Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Hello and welcome to AVEN, jsut! As SGM said, only you can decide if you're asexual or not. The following link has various info on faq's and the spectrum of asexuality. http://www.asexuality.org/info.htm So, make yourself at home and have some cake :D Link to post Share on other sites
Carsonspire Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Welcome to AVEN, jsut. You are the only one who can classify yourself, and chances are, the more you read and the more you "figure yourself out", the more your classification(s) or label(s) will change. But who needs labels anyway?! Come and enjoy the party in the place where you're free to be yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
mindlife Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Welcome to AVEN, jsut. You can have a sex drive, masturbate and be asexual, yes. Asexuality is lack of sexual attraction, and the identity displays itself in sharp contrast to the sexual orientations when the sexual situation is the individual attempting to relate to another. You know if you've behaved asexually, and what you've described sounds like asexual behavior. You understand the passion, but you don't want the act because you weren't seeking it in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Welcome to AVEN! As others have said, it's not good for us to slap you with a label; you have to decide your own feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
fluffy_hime Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
ApplePie Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Hi jsut! Welcome :) "Asexual" is such an widely used term it can mean so many things - so you could be or not. It sounds like you (as with a number of people who identify as asexual) experience a semi-concious or sub-concious anxiety of sex in some way. Particularly as you are quite sexually attracted to women. The masturbation part is irrelivant but the imagery in your mind when you masturbate is... it sounds like you are firmly heterosexual and desire women/sex, but when it comes to actually doing it you lose interest due to some kind of anxiety about it (and there are MANY forms of that!). A lot of folks experience this in some way - but don't realise it - it simply shapes their sexuality throughout life. If it is the case, it is normally possible to remove the anxiety through psychotherapy - IF that is what you want to do. I wouldn't use the term 'cure' or 'fix', as that suggests there is something wrong with you (which there isn't, asside from not being the statistical norm). This is mearly an attribute of your sexuality, and if you're happy with it, why fix it? If however you find relationships difficult, see this as a problem and would prefer to overcome it, go see a sexologist. A lot of folks are a bit touchy about psychotherapy, but I personally take a more positive view of it, whilst acknowledging there are a lot of bad therapists out there with totally the wrong idea about alternative forms of sexuality (or lack of it) in particular. Take care! ApplePie PS: Also read up on the term "autosexual"... this is a term which applies to some people like you to a greater or lesser extent. Link to post Share on other sites
wombat Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 WEEELLLL..... Glad you found us! Welcome, I say And in honor of your presence...I do a little dance for you now.. *HIT IT!* *Does the WoMBaT Dance!* We got another one! We got another one! This asexy guy really kicks some butt! So everybody welcome asexy man jsut! YEAH! *applause!* Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
Chuk Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Hi jsut! We're glad you've found AVEN. Like lots of other people said, only you can figure out whether or not the label "asexual" fits you. But AVEN might help you in the process... Link to post Share on other sites
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